21 mth old jealous of my 2-week old - help

Meredith - posted on 11/25/2008 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I am the proud mom of a gorgeous baby girl (2 weeks) and an adorable little boy (21 months). My son has always been easy-going and very loving. However, since we brought his sister home - he has started trying to bite and hit her. I am doing my best to protect her - but at the same time - I want my son to get comfortable with her. I've tried to read as much as I can and so far have been using the "I love you very much" response to his outbursts. Am curious to know if any of you have experienced this jealous rage and what you've done that has worked.

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Stephanie - posted on 12/24/2008

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I think the best bet is to catch him being good. When he's being nice to the baby, even if it was just walking by and not pinching her, give him tons of good feedback. When he tries to bite/hit the baby, give the baby lots of attention and ignore him. Lots of extra love and attention for him is great, but don't do it right after he's bitten the baby, you might give him the wrong message.
It's a hard time, but totally normal!

Jennifer - posted on 12/18/2008

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It's been bad around here since ds was born, in terms of the jealousy. First you need to protect you baby girl; kids can be vicious...yes even our sweet littles ones.

My mom used to say about my older brother that he was perfect until I came along!!

So keeping baby out of harms way will teach your child to respect those boundries. Also just putting baby down and brining your 21 month old in close for snuggles; even he resists at first because he's a little mad a momma.

Watch for his cure; by dd will grit her teeth when she's mad at her little brother, and I either put baby boy down for quick snuggles with dd (before she reacts), or a quickly seperate myself from dd. I really wish there was two of me; it must be so hard on our little ones, not ever feeling this jealousy bug before.

Lots of snuggles and one on one time.

Also set them in a fun activity before you feed baby. It takes some serious multitasking, but pays off in the end.

IT's tough, and unfortunetly it might get worse before it gets better! Now that my dd is 2 1/2 she starting to learn impulse control; before that it was just push and hit :( So since they don't have that control yet, we do just have to keep them seperate at times; one to keep baby safe, and two to keep older's from getting into trouble so much; that can't be fun.

good luck :)

Patty - posted on 12/07/2008

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I also loved wearing my baby in a wrap when he was smaller. Hope things are going better for you. Patty

Emily - posted on 12/06/2008

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I have all girls, and they've all seemed to love their younger siblings when they've come. But we do make sure the older girls get to spend lots of time "helping", and lots of alone time with mom and dad. My husband has gotten much better with newborns since our third was born because #1 and #2 needed more "mommy" time. I've also found it quite helpful to wear my baby in a wrap while I'm out running errands. This keeps baby safe and close to me, but allows me to keep my hands free to help my other girls.

Patty - posted on 11/29/2008

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Hi, my boys are 22 months apart, Connor and Kieran. When we brought my younger son, Kieran, home from the hospital we had a gift for him from his brother, Connor. Every time someone came to the house to see the new baby with a gift we had a gift for Connor. Nothing big, just a few things from the dollar store that we wrapped. I also had Connor help me as much as possible. He would get me diapers or pull the wipes out of container for me. Anything that I could think of to help him be a part. My husband would try to take Connor out once a week for "big boy" activites that Kieran couldn't do because, "He just a baby." We also read books about being a big brother. Nine months later, Connor still refers to the big brother book. Good luck. I hope things improve for you.
Patty

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