Worried for big sister when little brother comes

Tina - posted on 03/16/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I will have 2 children 11 months apart....due next month so I will have a 1 yr old and a newborn. How does everyone else handle attention for the oldest child. I don't want to neglect her when I'm taking care of her brother.

Thanks!

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when my daughter was born I had a 1 and a 2 year old already at home.. it worked out ok just like the other two have told you the most important thing is to include them talk to them about how special it is to be the big brother or sister... everything went well till it came to bottle breaking them...lol.... now I know that at age one they have to give up the bottle..not only is it best for them.. but it saves you from them steeling the little ones bottle and making the baby cry... we all live and learn

Crystina - posted on 03/18/2010

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I had the same worries for my daughter when I was pregnant. I involved her in everything before and after the birth of my son and she is doing really good with it. I snuggle with her before bed and give her mommy time by herself whenever possible. My son is almost 3 weeks old now and my daughter has adjusted to the new baby quiet well. She did have a little bit a problem adjusting to the fact that I breast feed my son because she didn't understand what was happening. The more that I talked to her and told her what was going on the more she became more comfortable with it. I even let her help me feed my son when he gets a bottle so that she feels like a big helper with that too. She loves him very much and they have a special bond between the two of them. I am so glad that my daughter adjusted so well to the new baby. There is still a little jealousy sometimes when the baby requires more attention. That is to be expected with any children. I just try to make sure that I give my daughter as much attention as possible and keep her involved with the baby as much as possible. My husband and I have tried to make the attention that they both get equal. So when one of has the baby the other has my daughter. I makes it easier in the evenings when you are trying to wind down. During the day while my husband is at work we find fun games to play that I can still do when I have to take care of the baby or feed him. Find fun things for her to do and get her special things that are just for her that the baby can't have. I hope that this helps you out a lot. It did when people were giving me advise on how to deal with it.

Claire - posted on 03/17/2010

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Congratulations :)

Our daughter was 13 months (and 10 days) when her brother was born. We made sure she knew that she would be a big sister and made a huge deal out of it. She got a Big Bird doll as a present from her brother, which she still loves. We also made sure to include her in everything we did -- getting diapers, holding his bottle, keeping the other half of my lap warm while he was on one side, helping pick out clothes, etc.

Just keep doing what you're doing now and make her feel important. You won't be neglecting her, just re-inventing your routine. All will be well after the initial shock wears off. Be prepared to hit the ground running, though -- you may have a newborn, but you still have a one year old!

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