14 week baby and all of a sudden being clingy

Juliane - posted on 11/05/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My daughter has been unbelievably fussy this week, she is usually very content. I can't put her down without her starting to whimper and cry. I am not sure what to do. If I even leave the room to use the restroom she cries..she cries all day with the sitter. She isn't sick or constipated. When I walk up to her she smiles and laughs but that lasts for minutes then she cries and won't stop til I pick her up. I have tried letting her cry but I can only stand that for so long....I'm frustrated and am about to go crazy...HELP...I'm open to any suggestions or information

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Anna - posted on 11/06/2009

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You say you leave her with a sitter all day? She is probably just missing you. It is natural for a little baby so young to desperately cling to her mother. She is attached to you and too young to be able to attach to anyone else. I'd say spend as much time with her as you possibly can. Letting her cry will probably make it worse by making her more insecure.

But if it is something new and sudden, she is probably not feeling well. Could be the start of teething - they can feel the pain of it months before the first tooth comes through.

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sometimes babies just wanna be close for a while. have you tried a baby carrier? it helps baby feel close and safe and you still have your hands free to get things done.

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Bethany - posted on 11/12/2009

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Pick her up. Use a sling or baby carrier. Put her in front of you where she can see you when you go to the bathroom. This is what we signed up for.
I bring Charlotte with me where ever I am in the house if she is finished playing by herself. She is 9 mths now, but I have always done this.

She is my little buddy, my little shadow, and I hope this will continue when she is older, wanting to be with me.

When they see that you are readily there for them, they become more confident to be left alone, as they know you're there for them if they need you. Letting a child cry unneccesarily sets up unhealthy pathways in their little brains, which will affect the way they deal with stress when they are grown. A couple of minutes while you finish hanging the wash, or are on the toilet won't hurt, but just letting them cry when you could be comforting them is not healthy at all. (See Margot Sunderland's book The Science of Parenting)

Remember, everything with kids is a phase, and will pass. Just take advantage of the best things about each phase, and don't give thought to the not so best bits.

The last few months Charlotte has been waking every night for a feed. I love it, I get to hold her and look at her, and comfort her. Sometimes I keep holding her even after she goes back to sleep, because it is going to be over in a snap and I don't want to miss any of it. I'm a bit sleep deprived, and my back is completely shot to pieces but she will eventually be walking, not being carried, and sleeping, not being fed and this stage will be over, barely a memory.

Sierra - posted on 11/11/2009

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there are some really great articles at mothering.com in the "Bonding" sections that talk about the science of why babies need to be held. i would definitely do some perusing. will affirm that you are doing a good thing by responding to her needs no matter how frustrated you are! and a baby wrap is really great! i find the more i ignore my son when he's fussy, the fussier he gets. so if you have to get stuff done (we all do!) it's easier if you have them in a wrap. i also like my Ergo carrier. baby can sleep on your back (or front) while you work.
also, maybe she is teething? my son was really fussy and teethey for a few weeks at an early age. his gums were swollen and he was really drooley. but that passed and he didn't get teeth for months after. just a thought.
good luck!

Lori - posted on 11/08/2009

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Babies also all go through developmental periods at certain times, and their moods/behavior can change dramatically as they go through it. They're suddenly seeing the world in a whole new way, and it can unsettle them. So you may notice new "tricks" your little one can do once you've weathered the "storm". Perfectly normal, just give all the extra cuddles she needs in the meantime.

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all of these suggestions are exactly what i was going to say! the more 'you' that you give her, the less demanding she will be.

Senae - posted on 11/07/2009

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I agree with the pp's. I suggest a moby. Is she sleeping with you? If not, I would recommend that so that she will feel more secure and close to you since she is spending all day with a babysitter. Nighttime parenting will give her the extra closeness to you that she is probably needing.

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