Ok, here goes. I have held it in long enough.

Kelly - posted on 01/08/2011

can i be added too shari!!! I have 2 step children and i worry so much about them. I want so badly to even go so far as to have a decent relationship with their mom where we could sit in the same room and share our little girls birthday parties...i am exhausted with anxiety of what will she say or do next to make things harder. I love my girls so much. Its sucks because it seems like their mother wants them to choose between her and i and i just want them to realize that they can have enough room in their hearts for both of us... i feel like they are consistently being pushed or encouraged not to love me and then every one looks at me to just one more time turn the other cheek .... im an exhausted mom....sorry about the rant.

Sunrise - posted on 10/18/2010

Can you teach my step-wife how to sit back and allow my ex-husband to make decisions on his own? Kuddos to you for doing this!! Seriously as a BM I must say it frustrates me to no end that my ex doesn't (can't?) make a decision regarding our kids with me. I look at us as partners in parenting our children or at least co-parents who need to make unbiased, unselfish choices in their best interest. That means letting go of the past, understanding there is no more "us" and moving forward with our children in mind. Unfortunatley I am met with the opposite.

Again, praise to you for caring enough about your step kids to not make their life harder and for enabling your husband to do what is right by them and make decision with their mom.

Mandie - posted on 09/19/2010

I meant 'mud-slinging'

Mandie - posted on 09/19/2010

I have toagree whole-heartedly with Dominique. And I do know it can be frustrating always being the one who takes the moral high-ground while the other party is mad-slinging. But the children will eventually see it- as an example- not long agao my youngest SS and his mother had an argument late at night that escalated very badly- to the point that her husband contacted my hubby to ask if he could help calm SS down. Later, little man told me that alot of what hismother said had really upset him but the thing that got him mad enough to start yelling at her was that she was calling me 'that skanky bitch'. Now obviously I spoke to him about yelling not being a respectful way to address his mother etc- but it did my heart good to know that all my years of patience had allowed him to see which of us was the 'bigger man' as it were. Good luck xoxoxo

Dominique - posted on 01/14/2010

You are very welcome and I would be delighted if you add me to your circle of moms list.

Shari - posted on 01/14/2010

Thank you so much Dominique! I struggle with this so much at times I am at my wits end! I know that if I just be patient and let the kids see for themselves they will in time. I love this circle of moms website its the best. What you are saying is exactly right, but at times it is very hard to think and do that way. May I please add you to my circle of moms list. I would love a shoulder to lean on and a friend?

Dominique - posted on 01/08/2010

Keep doing what you are doing and that is being a great mother figure in there life because obviously there own mother is not teaching them the right way if the act a certain way when they are around you. They will eventually decide for themselves how they want there relationship with you to be and they will see for themselves that what there mother is saying about you is lies. Let them know that you are there for them whenever they need you and you will always be. As far as the BM-ignore her. It is easier said than done but she is going to continue to talk and make up lies just to stir up drama in your house hold but you have control over what you let affect you. Keep being kind to her and respectful because she is not in control of your blessings. Just stay positive and keep doing what you do!