Showering with your kids

[deleted account] ( 49 moms have responded )

What is your opinion on showering/bathing with your kids? Is it only okay for same sex kids? What age do you draw the line? (This subject is known to get a little intense...so lets stay on the topic. Lets debate the different points of view without attacking the mothers way of life.)

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Sarah - posted on 06/25/2011

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I think it is up to the parent. You are going to find people who will think it is downright disgusting as well as people who think its a good way to bond (you may even have the occasional sicko-o who has a twisted opinion). I shower with my son who is 3 quite frequently. If I ever became uncomfortable or he did it would stop immediately. But as soon as he hears me get in the shower he strips down and climbs in. So, I think it depends on the kid and the parents.

Jessica - posted on 06/24/2011

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Hmmm.... I doubt they are even doctors. You can post anything on the internet... even fake credentials...

Hannah - posted on 02/06/2011

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I bathe with mh son all the time, he rarely gets a bath by himself. I think it's fine even if opposite sexes, it's such a great bonding experience and I really feel like my son is safer... I don't know when we will stop, he is a year now, probably when he is old enough to bathe safely by himself :-)

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Allison - posted on 07/18/2011

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I don't find any problems with showering with your kids, so long as everyone is comfortable. My husband used to shower with my daughter when she was young, to help me out, he would wash her and send her out to me to dry and dress. When she started asking questions, that was when we swapped roles, my hubby would wait with a towel to wrap around her while I got out of shower and then I dried and dressed her. With my son, it was easier to wash him in the shower until he could sit in the bath safely by himself, then we only needed to supervise. I think every family needs to work these things out. All kids are different, whether they have developmental problems that stop them from doing things for themselves or not. Being their parent you will know when things start to get awkward and then work out a plan. My daughter was four when dad stopped helping her and 12 when she didn't need my help anymore, she is now 17. My son will still seek help from either of us for certain things, but mostly looks after himself, he is 12. ( a very developed 12yo.) Sorry if I rambled on a bit.

Jessica - posted on 07/16/2011

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ya know... I took a bath yesterday, and my son got up, opened his door, and came in. He at-first tried to climb in, but then I got showered with toys, and he tried to wash my hair and play with ME in the tub(like I do for him). Thinking about it, I may bring him in the shower a few times soon (to show him when he is ready... to teach him how, but I am also alone.... they gonna dog me as the only one who can do it?!!!) but I am also more comfortable than I used to be... and my boys? They run/crawl around stark ass naked(except diaper) unless we go somewhere... and while I do where cloths, I often trapse around i underwear and a t-shirt. why? they think that is mommies diaper and my oldest seems more comfy as well, knowing mommy isn't going anywhere without pants(separation issues since daddy left)!

Merry - posted on 07/15/2011

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I shower with my 2 yr old son. No biggie
Yes he's asked what my vulva is called, I told him just that. He's quite familiar with my boobs as he hasn't weaned himself yet.
When will we stop? Ask him! :)
Whenever he is able to do it himself or if he doesn't want to shower together we will stop.
Besides, when I have three or more kids I'm sure I'll be showering with the younger ones and the older ones will wash solo.
My husband matt doesn't even want Eric seeing him naked. It feels weird to him. But I told him if Eric does see him naked he can NOT make a big deal of it. No running and hiding, no making Eric think there's something wrong. But if matt wants to avoid Eric seeing him naked, fine.
Although it might help in toilet training if matt was more open with Eric about his body....

[deleted account]

Holy cow...just a couple questions/comments about this stupid article....

1) Is this a joke?

2) Touching the butt....I will continue to apply sunscreen to my daughter ALL over her body every time we play in the sunshine despite this article :)

3) My daughter is only 3 and she knows how to clean her private areas in the bath but I still sit in the bathroom and make sure she does it right (and I would do the same with a boy) It's no big deal to say "OK make sure you wash your knees and your feet and your p.p. and your belly and don't forget your stinky butt!" And it is no big deal for me to sit in the bathroom and make sure all that stuff gets washed! I will continue to do this until she is old enough to not get hurt all by herself in there and as long as I know she has good bathing habits and that specific age will be determined by ME, her MOTHER, not some ridiculous article! (Yes we call the vagina a pp. :) thats probably a whole other debate lol)

4) ARE YOU KIDDING...I have to knock on the door before going into my child's bedroom? Why is it I could see my daughter naked from birth to age 6 but after that It turns into something sexual?? And why in the world would my child be naked in her room? Whenever the age comes that she/he feels that she/he doesn't want to be seen naked then she/he can either lock there door for the brief moment they are changing or change in the bathroom. Privacy is a privilege for a teenager. Adults need privacy from there children for one reason...to have SEX...why would a child need privacy from their parents?? (except if they didn't want to be seen naked... the only time they should be naked is when changing clothes so again they could be allowed to lock there door for the 1 minutes it takes to slip on clothes) The child would still learns that you need to knock on closed doors. My childs door should never be shut anyways! I don't even think a teenagers door should be shut unless it's just too noisy in the house and they can't study in there room!

5) I can't sleep in the same bed as my daughter (or future son for that matter)! Did I really hear that right? Since when was sleeping made sexual?? And does this article think that napping on the couch with your kids is the same, how about camping in a tent on the same mattress, how about making a huge pallet on the floor in front of the tv and falling asleep on family movie night? How is it okay for teenagers to spend the night at each others houses and sleep in the same bed (girls of course-usually haha) but when you want to sleep in the same bed as your parents at age 5 thats sexual?? OH MY GOSH I AM SERIOUSLY STUNNED AT THAT SECTION!

6) Finally I can agree with something they have said...My grandmother used to undress me in front of my family at there swimming pool to change into my swim suit at age 4 or 5ish, cant really remember, but I do remember feeling really embarrassed! Now do I think she was sexually abusing me? NO...but I do wish she would have not done that!

7) Also the part about not having sex or being intimate in the same room as your kids while they are sleeping...I agree with this part 100%. You may think your child is sleeping but I know from my own experience they can wake up easier on rare occasions and why risk this kind of situation. I have flash backs from when I was only about 5 of my mom and my step dad messing around. That is something that I would never risk my daughter seeing... I don't even want her hearing it...even at 3 am and with her in her room we are still super quiet. Seriously we only go crazy when my daughter is not in the house...which is usually NEVER :( haha. But if I want to have a romantic night with my husband I stage it all first....I turn the loud fan on in her room and shut her door. I also usually have her music player on that sits by her bed. And we always shut our door and lock it. Yes I do have a fear of her hearing us...and I think everyone should have that fear...only because I heard my mom and step dad having sex ALL the time growing up and it is not something you want your kids to go threw. It's just gross and back then it was confusing to me.

CONCLUSION
The people that wrote this ridiculous article clearly have no kids. And clearly suffer from sexual urges towards children...otherwise they wouldn't associate these normal everyday scenario's with SEXUAL ABUSE!

Lara - posted on 06/25/2011

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I have twin girls, who are just about to turn 4. Until 3.5 years, my husband would take turns showering with them, but now we've changed to the girls only showering with me, as they are beginning to get curious about certain body parts that should not be touched. My husband will still give them bubble baths sometimes, but 95% of the time the girls shower with me.

[deleted account]

I agree with Sarah, I know some people think it is weird that my 6 year old son still takes a shower with me or still sees me naked around the house.My 3year old as well. But in my opinion too it depends on the kids and parents.

[deleted account]

My brother's wife left him and their daughter for another man when their daughter was only 8 months old. So since then my brother has been taking care of her, and is a great dad to her, she is daddy's little girl.

Jessica - posted on 06/25/2011

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Don't hear about single dads a lot. Dying breed of honor and responsibility. Nope... hear about dishonor a lot... but not honor. I am pretty sure that at two (mind you I was eating DIRT) I would have eaten the cream or at least tasted it out of curiosity (pretty sure it would be the later), however I also doubt I could have understood why I was putting the cream on. I was the "why" kid.... so.... would have just been easier to do it for me anyway. My oldest son? 16 months old. PRETTY sure he would EAT it (and why not? everything ELSE I tell him is 'icky' he tries at-least once). I mean the other day I had to take away the bath wash. He opened it and started DRINKING it. *back to what I was saying before* Sorry. My mind is still trying to figure out what box in the damp earth those people who wrote the article live in. Kudos to the single dad though.... but ummm.... *curiosity is Achilles heel* where IS her mother...if you don't mind me asking?

[deleted account]

I know right its totally ridiculous! and plus she has a bad rash on her little butt and he has to put cream on it.

Sarah - posted on 06/24/2011

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wow a single father that's awesome! :D
Yeah what's he supposed to do? Make his 2 year old wear a bathing suit in the bath and dress herself, wipe her own butt? How bloody ridiculous lmao!

[deleted account]

My brother bathes with his 2 year old daughter and she loves it very much.too! and he has no choice he is a single father.

Sarah - posted on 06/24/2011

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lol what is the point of having a bath if they have clothes on! My daughter loves it when daddy baths her lol! How ridiculous!
I believe they're a husband and wife team but not sure if they have any qualifications. I stole the link from another thread on here by the way lol :) This isn't the sort of thing i research but i had a good laugh at it!

Erin - posted on 06/24/2011

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Oh goooood lord. I shared that website with a few friends, we had a great laugh!
We figure it was posted by a time traveller from the 50s.
My daughter is 5, and im like 2 weeks from delivering my son, so of course my husband takes over the chore of bathing our daughter. I cant be all bent over the tub playing with toys and pulling the plug out and stuff. I cant imagine having to explain why she needs to wear a bathing suit in the tub when daddy is there. Isnt that even more awkward? Doesnt that teach shame in your body? I dunno. Doesnt that also show a SEVERE level of mistrust in your significant others?

Jules - posted on 06/24/2011

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Funny story from a friend ... My friends nearly 5yo daughter asked her mummy (mid-shower) why she has whiskers on her woo-woo. She asked her mum if she had got them off her daddy's face. :)

Jessica - posted on 06/23/2011

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Their godmother does that... and then we say "oh yeah. these boys will make a woman VERY happy one day..."

Sarah - posted on 06/23/2011

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I think i was even more outraged than both of you hahahah!
This article can be really off-putting for GOOD parents who aren't sure where the boundaries are!
This article had extremes from both sides- extremely overly cautious and extremly absurd! The whole thing sickened me to think that i do all these normal natural things with my baby and these psychos are basically calling me a sexual predator!
My baby is only 15 months so of course i still put cream on her bum and i touch it too! I touch where her boobs aren't aswell! I co-sleep, and nibble her ears and kiss her neck! She sees me naked too.. I mean obviously since we shower together!
This whole thing is disturbing and sickening!
I know there is a double standard when it comes to men, but most men aren't sexually attracted to their children and everythng they do is out of love not because of their sexual urges! My partner baths out baby and dresses our baby and occasionally changes her nappy. He massages her too!
I'm just so disgusted that these freaks think these things are wrong and thinks that they are even in the same category of sexual abuse! Then it's got all these other rules that people wold have to be insane to do ahhh!
I suppose extended breastfeeding is abusive too? I'm sure they would have all of us co-showerers locked up!

Anyway. i'm off to bury my lover boy's face in my boobs and discuss with my girlfriends how pleasurable he will be in bed one day!

[deleted account]

I totally agree with you Stephanie, to me the article these two doctors wrote is aburd. I think they do want to make you feel guilty or feel like your a pervert because you like to be affectionate with your kid and that seeing your naked body is something forbidden. I find it really laughable, they probably have a heart attack if they observed my household.

Jessica - posted on 06/23/2011

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The only reason (besides an occasion cream) I would touch my boys butts is to wipe it... the adolescent thing is kinda creepy to me... unless your kids is disabled... they go a little too far with the medicine on genitals thing, cuz I am pretty sure my kid would try to eat it, and some kids are still in diapers at that point anyway... but my oldest already washes himself unless he had diarrhea, sticky shit, or something of that nature (like caked on mud from outside)... they don't even put an age on the privacy thing so while I agree with it to a point I disagree with the lack of specification... some families walk around naked and nothing screws with the kids head their so I disagree with the hiding your body like its something to be ashamed of... I get the changing in a bathroom one... they get ridiculous with the sleeping in the same bed since kids up to six or seven sometimes jump into bed with parents for nightmares... the sex thing, I think is OK with newborns as long as your comfy (I am not even sure why this is in their...)... They can kiss my ass on the not talking about genitals since I refuse to make my kids think it is something to be ashamed of (which I honestly what all the whispering and secrecy does)... they can also kiss it for terminology since it isn't bad and that one seems an opinion... the dirty jokes go too far but I would allow a magazine when they are teens (rather allow it and know what they have than have them sneak it...)... the dirty evil and nasty thing is kinda oxy moron for this article since it doesn't matter if you don't say it, if they are asking you to act like it... I don't understand the flirtatious touching thing since they basically tell me not to let my son rest his head on my chest (but the only guideline for males is not to look at daughters funny or touch their legs... idiots...)... LOOKING in the presence of a child just encourages them to ask you when they are old enough to start wanting to instead of feeling like their is something wrong with them... fifteen is sexist (since they obviously have no trouble with the men looking at the women) and will be ignored by me. Personally I think they take it too far. They want us to TREAT them like the body is something to be ashamed of and hidden... but not say it....? sounds like a personal opinion... especially with it so focused on more mommy than daddy. What do you guys think?

[deleted account]

I personally don't see an issue with me showering with my boys or going naked infront of them.

Jessica - posted on 06/22/2011

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I don't particularly understand what is so controversial about his. It is a shower. They came OUT of THAT! Mothers have bathed with children since the dawn of time. It helped if danger came. the kids were within reach too... and also as a social/ bonding activity. Nothing sexual about showering with your MOTHER!!! Now walking in on your mother "creating babies" is another story... THAT gives little ones nightmares... *shiver*.... I still remember walking in that one time... ICK!!! The point is, although I am self conscious and don't shower with my boys, I still see nothing wrong with it. Is this really a big issue that people fight over?

Erin - posted on 06/22/2011

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Re-reading what I posted before about showering with my daughter, I realize I made it sound like it was "whenever either of us need to shower, we do it together" when that really isnt the case.
I just wanted to clarify, that its rare that we do, but when it happens, its perfectly fine! No unease, no issues, no qualms. Its natural, and she gets a chance to understand how her body will look when she gets older. She gets a little more personal with me as of late, because im almost 9 months pregnant now (sitting 3 feet away from the friggin keyboard cuz my tummy is in the way pregnant) and she helps me get dressed even more. She knows a vague idea of what happens when the baby is born, although we left out the specifics. He will come out of mommys "lulu" (which I chose to replace vagina, since its the phonetic term in my native language, and it doubles as being discreet around strangers) and thats pretty much it.

Just wanted to clarify, its not a daily ritual, but it happens, so what :D

Sarah - posted on 06/21/2011

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Haha yes that's true! Our children are seeing us naked from the moment they are born lmao :)

Sarah - posted on 06/21/2011

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Lol Keri, i agree :) I think i would be quite traumatized if i had memories of my dad naked hahaha!
Yeah, it's different with mums and little boys. It's a bit of a double standard but i do feel that it's different.

Keri - posted on 06/21/2011

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I take baths and showers with my girls and boys, well not my oldest as she prefers to take them alone, which is fine, unless theres a specific need to "share" the water...My sons take baths with their dad as well, not so much the girls anymore they stopped bathing with daddy around 2-2.5 years old...as far as the girls seeing "boy" parts, well the youngest 2 are boys and the older girls help change their diapers, so its not a big deal really, the only time one of them asked what is that , I said thats what make him a boy, and that was the end of it. And as my 2 yr old son is an escape artist he has to go everywhere with me, that includes the bathroom, which is actually helping him potty train anyways so its all good for now, we will stop when like the girls it becomes a problem....my thing is thosugh I think its a bit more weird dfor the girls to see daddy, than it is for boys to see mommy...there are naked women all over, in art, and on the beaches even, clothing leaves little to the imagination.

[deleted account]

I still take showers with my 6 and 3 year old sons, and I bathe with my 6 month old son. I am comfortable with my boys seeing me naked and asking me questions about my body. We will stop when they express being uncomfortable.

Ally - posted on 04/25/2011

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My husband and I always showered together before baby so we frequently showered with her after she was born as well it was just convenient one of us would get out first dry off then take the baby while the other finished showering and we would all be cleaned dressed and ready for the day at the same time.

Our daughter is now 3 and "family showers" stopped about 6 months ago as she got taller and inquisitive and started asking "why does daddy have a tail" haha. At that point we decided maybe just mommy daughter showers are more appropriate for us. But i can't recall the last shower i was able to take by myself...my daughter is convinced that it is a team sport :)

Toni - posted on 04/12/2011

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I used to shower/bathe with my son all the time. He is 2 1/2 now and the only reason I have stopped is he doesnt like water on his head, so I cant shower with him, and the bath isnt big enough for both of us.

Frances - posted on 03/22/2011

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I don't see any problem when they are small. If they are teens, then it's another story.

Heather - posted on 02/15/2011

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My daughter is nearly 3 and sometimes we shower together and sometimes we dont and I dont have a son yet but i'm goin to do it then to they are my kids!

[deleted account]

Erin you are SOO right! I don't know one friend of mine that wants to remember seeing there parents naked. I think that a young girl SHOULD see there mother naked...She needs to know that "this is what you will grow up to be". And young men SHOULD know what they will look like. But a little boy being able to remember her mother naked is just weird and embarrassing for them. I know, my guy friends tell me! Their mothers will tell me stories and the guy will just look at me like "OMG pretend you did not hear that please". They don't need to know what a female looks like naked, come on, what is the lesson in that. The only purpose for that is "well son this is what a female looks like, ya know, the ones your going to want to be sexually intimate with" LMBO! (same with lil girls and their daddy's.
But of course its always okay if they accidentally see, its no big deal. It's just not something I would do on purpose. I think I was about 7 years old and I saw one of my male relatives (not going to give any names lol) but he walked out of the bathroom with boxers on and his "AREA" was poking out of his boxers and I unfortunately witnessed this! I remember this awkward day like it was yesterday! Erin is right! I don't remember what I did last week but I DO remember this! I think to a lot of little girls a mans "junk" is just an ugly, gross, kind of disturbing thing to see lol. I mean come on guys sometimes its just not a very pretty thing to see! To a little girl ( I know, I was that lil girl who say it) It is a bit frightening.

Erin - posted on 02/07/2011

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I nursed in front of anybody and everyone. In a small town of 2000 people, I knew exactly who was near me when I whipped out lunch. Nobody minded! It was very relaxing to have such accepting surroundings.
I get my daughter (5) to help me put some of my clothes on recently since I need to take it easy with this pregnancy, my blood pressure is 70/40 and I of course had to hurt my shoulder too. So she helps me tie my shoes, put socks on, and yes, she fastened my bra for a week while I couldnt move my right arm an inch! She felt extremely proud of herself that she could help me when I needed it, and she learned that she can be helpful in more ways than just setting the table or tidying up her room.
Of course, shes 5, so at daycare her teachers asked me if I was feeling alright since "I dressed mommy" isnt a common phrase to them hahaha!

Laura - posted on 02/07/2011

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As for what age it should stop I think if either party is uncomfortable with it then you should stop. If my son doesn't want me to assist him in the shower I won't I've taught him well enough to do it by himself. I also still change in front of them both 2 and 4. And when baby boy 3 comes tomorrow I will nurse in front of them. I'm not going to teach them that the body is dirty but they do know when it is appropriate to be naked and when it is not.

Erin - posted on 02/07/2011

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I remember when I was like 8 i saw my dad naked by accident. I dont remember things I did last week, but THAT memory stuck with me, im on your side Lesa!

[deleted account]

It's ok for my husband to shower with my boys if he wanted to but not with my daughter because I think it would be weird and I really don't want my daughter to know what her dads privates look like. Thank God my dad never showered with me, YUCK! Its ok with the boys cause they got the same parts but, I wouldn't shower with them once their of the age where they can remember such stuff. I mean, come on, who wants to know what their parents look like naked?

Erin - posted on 02/07/2011

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I dont bathe with my daughter anymore, specifically because my tub is friggin tiny. I shower with her right now because she is just learning the ways of showering, and usually gets soap in her eyes. Its a good opportunity for her to learn how to clean herself, and a time saver for me, as well as eco friendly!

She would prefer to do it herself, so most of the time now, its me sitting in the bathroom while she does her thing, and if she needs a towel for her eyes, im there to help. My husband is a different story! That man wont walk from the bathroom to the bedroom (like 10 steps) without covering himself. Its a little tricky I suppose? My daughter isnt his daughter, by blood. Perhaps the social stimas and possible judgement are too much to face. I dont blame him, and I dont think its really necessary anyway, its a learning experience, not a body exibit at science world!

When we have a son, my hubby can be in charge of shower time then while I kick back and relax!

Katherine - posted on 02/07/2011

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When my kids were able to stand with a good balance they showered with me until maybe 2 1/2-3 yrs old. My daughters are 8 and 4. They both take showers or bathes together or separate. If my 4 yr old is taking one bay herself I am still in there sitting on the tiolet watching her. I will help wash her hair and body since she is still getting the hang of it.
My 8 yr old does it all on her own. I dont bother her while she is in the bathroom.
I didnt bathe with either of them when they were babies/infants because I always felt their baby tub was safer than me holding them.
i will not share my bath with my girls. My mommy time to have a little quiet time.

Laura - posted on 02/07/2011

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I have always showered with my sons. I can't start my shower with out my 2 1/2 year old running in a stripping. My 4 year old doesn't shower as much with me anymore because I taught him how to wash himself and let him take them by himself now (I still supervise). I'll take one with my 2 year old and then let the other get in when I'm we're done. They both still hop in with my hubby in the mornings though. I also like to have a shower by myself once in awhile especially now that I am 9 mo preggo. :)

Sarah - posted on 02/07/2011

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I shower with my daughter all the time! Its pretty much impossible to wash her any other way!
She wriggles so much in the bath that i can't hold her properly, even with someone helping me and have dropped her a couple of times and that just scares me to death! Plus she screams when i try and hold her.
I don't plan on changing this any time soon (shes 10 months) i will do it until she enjoys bath time :)
oh and if she was a boy i would still do it. Theres nothing wrong with it, it's your baby haha nothing dirty at all! :/ and if you think its dirty theres something wrong with you. lol

Jessica - posted on 02/07/2011

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I used to bath with mine but... putting him in by himself was better for both of us. He loves it anyway and loves splashing me even more. I must admit he developed early and could sit in the tub by himself at about three months old so... he was safe. Someone is always with him though and due to... well I won't be bathing with our newest addition for any longer than I did with our first. To be honest I rarely do it at-all cuz It's not very fare and our oldest isn't old enough to know why. I don't wanna play the favorites game and am very careful about it. I respect those that still do it and admit I have an odd sitchuation... so... yeah. Also, I get a little wierded out about how kids in my family tend to pic out memories from around only a couple months old on so... I kinda don't want them to remember me naked. Weird ne?

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