Who has it harder? Working daddy or SAHM?

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

Let's just assume that the Stay at home mom (Or Stay at home dad, which ever it is in your family) keeps the house clean, cooks dinner every night, does all the chores, lets the husband relax when at home, gets the kids to school, does all the bill/finance organizing, etc.

Let's also assume that the husband works a full time physically demanding job.

So who has it harder? Does either person deserve complaining rights?

Another question...Is a SAHM really that hard of a job?

Yet another question lol....who gets the weekend off to relax? (assuming the husband is off on weekends)

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[deleted account]

I am a stay at home mom. I feel an urge to talk about this subject because I had someone in my family get drunk and frankly throw up all his thoughts about moms who don't work! He said we are lazy and all we do is bitch about how hard are job is and watch tv all day. He said he would like to see us women do the hard work they do.

Well this is what I have to say about it...My husband loves me being at home he doesn't think I'm lazy whatsoever. Yes it is a hard job. But the difficulty is not physical... its mental. It is a mentally challenging job to be a stay at home mom. The hardest part about it is finding motivation. This isn't laziness. It is a lack of understanding the importance of cleaning. Since we are never appreciated for what we do, we aren't paid for what we do, we aren't disciplined for not doing it, it can be difficult to clean house because we can't remember why we need to!(plus the fact that while we are cleaning we are thinking to ourselves that in about half a day it will be dirty again!) But yet we still feel guilty for not doing it. At work you are easily motivated. And being motivated is like a quick boost of energy. You don't get that kind of energy boost at home. Cleaning the entire house without that motivational energy boost is really difficult.

Another reason our job is 'mentally' difficult is because our little ones make alot of noise. Very very annoying noises! They require alot of attention ontop of that. Clingy-ness and noisiness just adds to the draining of our energy. (My 3 year old has just started talking my head off and asking a thousand questions a day. No one has experienced true energy draining until they have went threw this stage! Why did no one warn me of this! AHHH)

Just because our jobs are not physically demanding doesn't mean it isn't hard. Our job doesn't have breaks, days off, a specified time we can go home, holidays, and it doesn't include a pay check either! Our paycheck should be our husband and families appreciation for what we do. I haven't always been a stay at home mom. I worked at one point. I would love to have those days back. Work was like a vacation to me. Though I had to work hard, it felt alot better then the chaos of kids and work with no pay.

That being said. My husband does appreciate what I do, so I love being home and doing it for him and my kids. I believe if you are a stay at home mom, and your husband works hard for his family then it should be the moms responsibility to do EVERYTHING at home. When your man comes home he should come home to a clean house and food to eat. Call me old fashioned lol. I love love love to make him happy everyday, and if I slacked for one day, even though he doesn't criticize me I feel guilty that he worked so hard for me and my family and I did nothing for him in return. On his day off, which is only one day, we help each other out. I let him rest and he lets me rest. He works really hard so I let him get more resting time usually.

Nobody has it harder in my opinion. It's like apples and oranges. Both jobs are equally hard. Just in different ways.

Toni - posted on 10/12/2011

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The wat me and my partner work it out is we both have difficult jobs, so we try to even out everything as much as possible. When he does get 2 days off a week the first day will be his relax day, and the second will be my relax day.
I tend to still do a bit with our son on my 'day off' simply because I cant stop myself, but it is really great knowing that I can just call my partner and say it is his turn, lol.
1 great thing my partner does is when he has shopping day off work he will take our son grocery shopping with him and I get to stay at home by myself for nearly 3 hours (we live a fair drive from town).

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