Have you ever had one of those weeks?

Stephanie - posted on 02/05/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My son celebrated his 10 month birthday a couple of days ago which, along with the 'where did the time go?' and "I never though we would make it" and "my how he has grown" comments came the inevitable and dreaded question...."When are you going back to work?". While this question has, naturally, been in the back of my mind, it is one that I have managed to avoid until this past week.



Two nights ago my husband and I began discussing the "Pros" and "Cons" of me returning to work. I work in an Elementary school as an aide to special needs kids. Its the perfect job in terms of job satisfaction, my working day in short and I get summers and holidays off ...the down side is that the pay isn't great. In fact, if I were to return to work, nearly all of my pay would go to daycare and my car payment. Ultimatley, it would make more sense for me to stay home with the baby and I know that there are thousands of Moms who would love the opportunity to stay home with their babies but I really like my job. It isn't even so much that I miss my job as it is that I really miss having my own space. My husband is trying his best to understand that but is having a difficult time seeing past all of the practical aspects of having me at home. I am trying to find some kind of balance...one that will allow me maintain some autonomy while still being home with the baby...at least until the next school year begins in September....I am sure these discussions will resume in August when we will once again have to address this topic.



Wish me luck!

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Tanya - posted on 02/22/2010

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Hello there! I'm not in the teaching field but I have a close friend who has 3 children (1yr, 3yrs and 4yrs) who found a good solution for their family needs. She instructs night classes pt and she marks tests over the net too. She makes a better income then ft in the classroom plus she can stay home with the children too. The husband looks after the children when she works nights. Childcare is a challenging issue for most parents. I'm all for dayhomes over daycare but it's a personal choice. Not all dayhomes are perfect and not all daycares are terrible. Everyone has an opinion but the final decision is up to you. The good news: if the daycare/dayhome isn't a fit for your child, you can change to another one. I wish you the best!!

Kerry - posted on 01/26/2010

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My little boy is just 2 and I'm also fortunate to have the choice about work, where I know others do not. I hadn't ben enjoying my work in Financial Training for a while, so was glad to leave, BUT, I do need the mental stimulation that I can't get from my boy.

My solution (of a sort) is to use this pre-school time to study (Child Psychology and Early Years Education) so that when he starts school, I can find a teaching or teacher support post which will enable me to have a job I hopefully love, while at the same time be around after school and in the holidays.

By the way, I live in the UK and If I did put Dan into a nursery full time, it would cost in excess of £400 per week - and that's money that I would have already paid tax on! Madness.

Take care, and I hope you and your husband find a solution that works for your family. xx

Tracy - posted on 02/12/2009

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Stephanie, I can relate!  It's such a tough position to be in--you want to stay home, you want to be the well rounded adult you are, and for me it sometimes feels like there is so much pressure in both direction, we get squeezed until we're ready to pop.  The hardest part for me is feeling like no one else is dealing with this.



I am in a similar place...I'm almost finished with the MFT testing process and once I have my license I'll be able to set up my practice.  But it will take years to establish a full practice that is bringing in a salary commensurate with the costs of living in Silicon Valley.  So although my husband has been incredibly supportive of the whole process, now we're looking at the future and wondering how we're going to be able to AFFORD MY JOB...!?!?!?!?



This is SO crazy.  What kind of country do we live in (well, I should say world since you live in Canada) where this is an expected norm??  To me, it's unreasonable and creates so much more stress and financial strain than anyone should have to live with.



But what is the big-picture solution?  Just the remote IDEA of government run day care has me shaking.  Finding a babysitter for 2 hours a week has been traumatic. :)  I don't know if there is a solution but I'm interested in discussing it, and I hope you feel at least a little better knowing that moms out here have an intimate appreciation of your not-totally-unique situation.



Sending you support!!!  Let us know how you are managing and if any alternatives or great solutions have presented themselves.  Maybe other moms have implemented some creative problem-solving to their own similar dilemma??

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