Ever taken custody of grandkids?

Darlene - posted on 05/07/2013

I have custody of my two grandsons and that is because of the caseworker saying if I didn't file for them te would be placed in foster care and I wil never see any of my grandkids go to foster care....so here I am taking care of and brining up my two grandsons...

Used - posted on 03/13/2013

good luck my daughter went to prison and when she got out six months late went to court and did nothing but tell lies. the court gave me visitation from az we live in co. that lasted two weeks. excuse that my roommate was a pedafile. low and behold he has fingerprint clarence from two states same as me. this was her new husbands rules and he had never even meet roommate. we have know him for ten years. now i am not allowed to see the children and she had turned my adult son against me. that does not even bother me since he is abuse to me anyway. they are turning the children against me but someday they will be grown and either understand or have serious issues. suppose as parent that will be my fault also. her new husband was drug user from her past. she was out two and half months and got hooked up with him after a few others in the two months. his mother does not let her husband have anything to do with his family either. the son in laws first wife commited suicide according to her mother his family was the reason.

Martha - posted on 04/24/2010

My soon to be ex has six other kids by two different women. His parents had to raise the first two from his first marriage and his ex girlfriend's parents have had to raise the other 4. Long story and I was stupid for getting involved with him in the first place; ie the "soon to be ex reference". Both sets of grandparents lives were turned upside down. The 4 are in ages from 18, 16,15, 13. Those grandparents are already in their late 60's and both in poor health. They love the kids but have never enjoyed life with them. The Grandfather is almost 70 and cannot even consider retirement because the youngest child has 5 more years until he is an adult. It is admirable to stand up for your grandchild and I wish you best of luck but you are in for a long and rocky road. Unfortunatly grandparents raising their grandchildren has become almost the norm. Socity has made it so parents can just walk away from their children; almost like they are as disposable as everything else in our world has become over the last few decades. It is time to make parents become more responsible and be requried to care for their children.
By the way I have child number 7 with him and as his MO he is bye bye and I am raising her on my own with no help from any grandparents, and I don't want any. My parents have been in heaven long before she was ever born, and her only surving grandparent lives 84 miles away. So I do it all just as a parent is susposed to do.

Michelle - posted on 04/22/2010

Hi everyone. Just some FYI. There is now a Circle group JUST for Custodial Grandparents. We can belong to here as well as this new group. Come find us at:

http://www.circleofmoms.com/e_Y_13242

Michelle - posted on 04/22/2010

Stacy, can U prove your daughters drug use??? Dose MO go with the adult age of 18 or by the legal age of 21? U may have to do some turf love with your daughter. I know it hurts deeply (all of you)but sometimes it HAS to hurt them so THEY realize what is at steak. You did a great thing getting her into counseling but unless your daughter is serious about taking advantage of it (@ age 18?) it will not work, at least in the short term. Have you considered calling Child Protective Services in your state. Do you have the resources to hirer a lawyer? Take pictures of any paraphernalia you find in the house. They do make home drug test kits sold in GNC and over the INTERNET as well as larger RX chains.

Stacy - posted on 04/21/2010

Any recommendations I have a soon to be 18 yr old step daughter that I love dearly and have gotten her in to counseling when she moved in with us and her daughter that is now 10 months old she has recently been staying at her moms again where her mother let her use drugs and we are concerned for both of them but most importantly our granddaughter. our daughter says she is not moving back with her mom but we don't really know as her mother is very manipulative and not mentally stable I don't know where to go to get information on MO state laws for our rights We don't necessarily want permanently custody but think right now temporarily until she can get straightened out.

Michelle - posted on 04/20/2010

Wow, reading all this my hart breaks for some of you. To have lost a child for any reason is hard. I have a BFF who lost her 26 yrs old son in an auto accident 3 years ago Mothers Days and I know how she feels. I get to see my youngest son as we live 1/2 mile apart but it dose not undo the stupid of his and his "wife's" actions. We still don't know if we ever have permanent custody of grandson. NJ law is odd. Dad just did his first rehab and mom is to start hers soon. Who knows if it will ever change. Even if they stay off drugs they still need to get the mental health end of it under control and take some classes as I feel their expectations of what a 7 year old can do is a bit off. Just my opinion. If any of you email me I will be happy to give you the link to the Cir. of Moms grandparents link as well.

Beth - posted on 04/20/2010

My hubby & I've done this twice w/2 of my step daughter’s kids. We had guardianship of her 1st born & after 2 yrs let him go back w/her. She had him a month & let her estranged husband take him...after 15 yrs of not knowing if he was alive or dead we located him in a detention center in FL. His father is in prison for 30 yrs for various charges, w/1 of them involving a 13yo girl. I cannot even begin to imagine what this boy has gone through, but at least we've been in contact w/him & he knows we’ve never forgotten him & will always love him. Hopefully 1 day he will visit us from FL.
We received his 1/2 sister from FL when she was 9mo old. When contacted by DCF they were told no more revolving door. We were granted permanent custody from FL, but that was not w/o headaches of there own. She grew up calling us mommy/daddy, but when she turned 6yo we told her we were her grandparents. Her mom (my step daughter) has been in/out of jail & prison over the yrs on various charges including drugs & we knew she would never change. The bio father has never been in the picture. Our granddaughter was raised knowing her mom loved her, but was not well enough to raise her. Unfortunately, her super sonic hearing overheard conversations regarding her birth mom’s drug use & incarcerations, which we discussed w/her after finding out she knew. She got to meet her birth mom for the 1st time when she was 10yo & has only seen her once since. Finally when our granddaughter was 11yo we legally adopted her. This entitles her to our SS benefits since my husband (her bio grandfather) is not well & to guarantee I would not loose custody of her. We also wanted the ability to assign a legal guardian to take care of her when we passed away. We wanted to make sure we could place her w/a relative whom would continue to give her the love, support, encouragement, etc that we've raised her in.
This issue is so common & heart breaking. We belonged to a grandparents support group for a few years & learned a lot. Know your individual state laws & locate agencies that can assist you. The most important thing we learned was our daughter was NOT going to change, therefore, we needed to focus on this child we were raising. We had to ensure this child would not abandon her child(ren) & expect us or someone else to raise them. The cycle has to be broken!!

Dorinda - posted on 04/20/2010

my husband and i have custody of our son 3 beautiful daughters. he past away last year may 11/09.

Michelle - posted on 04/19/2010

My hart goes out to you. I so understand this. We had my 2 step sons for many years also and they would say the same stuff. And around here, for example this very A.M. my grandson and I were having a good morning prepping for school, a bit of clawing between us and in comes in his father who helps himself to my travel mug and coffee and is is a foul mood as he was stressed running to work late and took it out on my grandson! I also belong to a new group just for us grandparents raising grands.
http://www.circleofmoms.com/e_Y_13242

Daura - posted on 04/17/2010

My grandsons have lived with me off and on since birth. They love the structured environment of knowing everyday what is going to go from one hour to another. They receive positive influence here and attention. Now they are with their mom again, but on every visit they say we don't have to go home anymore. It is hard for kids these days with so much going on and never knowing a real schedule. For those who raise them full time, hats off. It is difficult going back to diaper bags and car seats again.

Michelle - posted on 04/16/2010

Sounds familiar. Right now we have our oldest grandson and its from CPS in NJ. Drugs and domestic violence are the issues here. Don't know if it will be for ever, "its still early in the game". NJ has odd laws some times.

Margaret - posted on 04/16/2010

I have guardianship of my granddaughter, because her mother was murdered.

June - posted on 04/14/2010

where do you find the grandparents site i would like to join. is it in ct . i live in moosup ct. june k.

June - posted on 04/14/2010

my granddaughter is in dcf custody we are trying to get her back with family. june

Michelle - posted on 04/14/2010

Yes.Right now. I have joint shared with the parents. I have my oldest grandson here with me and his baby sister is at the other grandparents. this is why I joined here. there is a group also for grandparents.

DJ - posted on 04/14/2010

I am about to get full custody of one of my grandsons...not because of drugs but his father is in jail....his mother took off when he was 2 yrs old....no contact with him since.

Susan - posted on 04/13/2010

I have 3 grandkids for the same reason and my daughter will never get her kids back and thats from the courts not me.I know what you are going thru and it sucks.

Angie - posted on 04/13/2010

I fully understand taking the child away to protect her, but you need to get your daughter help and encourage her to seek help and be able to raise her own daughter and give her a good life.