when is the appropriate time to spank a baby.. Spare the rod spoil the child..

Belinda - posted on 12/01/2009 ( 205 moms have responded )

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What if a 1 year old is screaming and kicking in a store what would you do?

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Vicki - posted on 12/30/2009

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Sorry Ladies I am a 55 year old with 2 grown daughters and 6 grandchildren. The crime rate is higher now than ever before why I believe is because we send our kids to time out and never spank them. Well I think our kids need to be spanked every now and then. Some of you say leave the store and go to the car or go home and then go back to the store. You ladies must have a lot of spare time on your hands if you can do that. What if the child doesn't want to be there you taking them home or to the car plays right into their hands. I would first try to talk to the child if the child didn't want to listen and continued to have a fit I would then take that child to the closest bathroom and warm their behinds. I promise after a while that kid will know to not throw tantrums in the store. Ladies I'm not saying beat your children but a spanking never killed a child.

Marci - posted on 12/18/2009

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Number one: We don't spank babies..Number two: spanking doesn't work to calm a fretful child, would being hit calm YOU down?? I've found that picking up the child, calmly telling him/her that we are leaving because of the behavior and are going home to feel better. Best NOT to shame the child as the behavior is normal for the age. LOVE and patience is best for you and your child.

Jamie - posted on 12/08/2009

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I recommend Scream Free Parenting by Hal Runkle - spanking isn't really necessary in my opinion... it sends the wrong message - when your out of control, I'm out of control, so I need to hit you to get you to calm down :( Try the book, it might help you... it puts things in perspective for me. Jamie

[deleted account]

I am a single 40 year old mom and I don't claim to be perfect, BUT, I have six children and one grandchild and I have NEVER had to spank them. Why would you even consider that? It is uncalled for and no reason to do it. If you think that a child doesnt understand you, you are wrong. Babies pick up on alot and they will pick up on when something is a no no. People need to read their children better.

[deleted account]

Well, to answer the question in the topic heading: anytime you see rebellion being displayed. However, let me qualify that by saying that one ought never, ever spank their children in public. First of all, it humiliates the child. Children are little people and have feelings, and humilation is never correct - besides, generally children behave worse when humilated - so if your goal is correct the behavior humilation will not give you the desired results. Second, spanking your child in public can and probably will garner some unwarranted stares and advise and could cause some drastic consquences. I have some friends who lost their children for a short time after having spanked their children It was the most horrific experience of their lives!

That said - if you are in the store and it is not imprerative that you actually continue looking and buy something (ie. you are not grocery shopping) warn your child once that if he does not stop you will both go home and do "business". :) If you aboslutely must stay you might find a bathroom to do some discipline if possible.

Ignoring tantrums can work at home, but in a store it could become very disturbing to other shoppers if he is screaming and kicking.

I guess the main idea is for mom to take control and maintain it. The biggest mistake you can make is letting him think that he is in control of the situation - when he gets that idea your battle is lost.

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Joanne - posted on 01/24/2014

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Never, never spank a baby. If he/she is screaming and kicking then there's got to be a problem which may be physical, i.e. tired, hungry or maybe not feeling well. Babies, toddlers, children cry and make a fuss for a reason. There may be something that the child is trying to communicate but doesn't know how. Suggestion on what to do is this: Look at your child directly into her/his eyes and ask, "What's wrong?" or "Tell mommy what is the problem?" You may have to take her out of the store (unfortunately for you) but it would be better than losing your temper with such young child. You can get really good tips from a new book "How to get your kids to listen" It has information on why a child can be so difficult and even information on why parents tend to raise their children like they were raised. It's very good reading and moreover, it provides a wealth of information on parenting. You can see previews of the book at http://Truekidsstories.org

Nazevyanga - posted on 05/10/2013

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My daughter did that (she was in the cart), when she did not respond to comfort and threw a tantrum, I just continued shopping while she cried until she stopped. Yes they looked at me like I was crazy because she was 13 months....but I ignored them. She stopped eventually because I did not make a big deal out of it and she has never thrown a tantrum since.

[deleted account]

My son did that once when he was 1, I put back the frozen stuff, left my cart at customer service saying I would be back and put him in his car seat. It was spring so the weather was comfortable and I waited until he calmed down. Spanking at 1 doesn't really teach them much, except that it is ok to hit when angry.

I think if you are going to spank a child it shouldn't be for a normal childhood behavior, (like a 1yo having a hissy fit in a store) and should only be done when old enough to understand why said punishment is being done.

Spanking works on some kids, on others not so much. Always try a calmer approach first and with consistency it will get through.

Laura - posted on 08/02/2012

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Uh hello, putting baby and spanking in the same sentence is just WRONG! Its never ok, and never will be ok. Even when your baby is 50! I was spanked twice in my life, it was scary and confusing and didn't teach me anything but the rememberence of being hurt.

Andrea - posted on 07/11/2012

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And allowing a child to grow up thinking that some behavior that is wrong is called love? Allowing them to believe that nothing they do is going to led to some kind of punishment other then having to stand in a corner or have something taken away, that is what you call love ? I didn't say beat a child, I said spank which is a form of discipline that CPS allows, and has always allowed, they get too many calls from people such as you, to deal with the real abuse of children. After awhile of getting false calls from one person, they press charges against that caller for filing a false complaint

Stephanie - posted on 07/11/2012

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HITTING A CHILD IS NOT ATALL TOLLERATED IN ANYWAY SO YES I WOULD CALL CHILD SERVICES IF I SEEN SOMEONE SMACK A CHILD AND I DONT CARE WHAT YOU SAY IF ITS LEAVING A MARK OR NOT NO CHILD DESERVES TO BE SMACKED!!!!! AND IF YOU FEEL THAT ITS OK TO DO THIS MAYBY YOU SHOULDNT BE A PARANT!! ITS WRONG TO SMACK A CHILD AND 1 DAY I HOPE SOMEONE SMACKS YOU TO LET YOU NO HOW MUCH IT IS WRONG!! AND WHY HIT A CHILD YOU CLAIM TO LOVE , HITTING ISNT LOVE!!!!!

Andrea - posted on 07/11/2012

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Actually Cps (Child Protective Service) has stated that you are allowed to spank a child on the bottom, not in anger, as long as you do not leave marks or bruises they will not object. And I have told another lady in the store, I will discipline my child as I see fit, you may call the police on me now, however when MY child needs a lawyer due to some stupid act he does later in life, that could have avoided had some noisy by passer who thinks they can raise my children better then me, kept their 2 cents to them self, you can pay for it. Not every parent is trying to be the child's friend

Stephanie - posted on 07/11/2012

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OMG YOU ARE ACCULY BEING SERIOSE?????? THERE IS NO APPROPRIATE TIME TO HIT A CHILD... YOU SHOULDNT BE HITTING A CHILD ANYWAT!! GIVE THEM TIME OUT NOT A SPANK. IF SOMEONE REPORTS YOU FOR HITTING A CHILD THEY MAY WELL CALL CHILDRENS SEVICES ON YOU WITCH THEY WOULD TAKE YOUR CHILD INTO CARE AS YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HIT CHILDREN!!!


IF YOUR CHILD IS TAKING A TANTRUM ASK THEM WHY THEY ARE HAVING A TANTRUM THEY MAYBE HUNGRY TIERD OR JUST BORED MAYBE AGREE ON DOING SOMETHING FUN AT HOME IF THEY ARE GOOD IN THE STORE WHILE YOU SHOP


DO NOT SPANK OR HIT A CHILD!!!

Rachel - posted on 07/10/2012

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My son used to throw fits in the store..especially when I started letting him walk along side me instead of sitting in the cart. When he threw a fit it was usually because I told him no to something . I didn't want to spank him in a store so I would just take a couple steps away and let him throw it. Then when he stopped and walked over to me I would get down to his level and tell him that was not ok and he now has to sit in the cart for the rest of the trip, a few times he would throw another fit for being put in the cart and I would just pull the cart along and go about my shopping. After about 4 or 5 times he quit throwing fits in the store.
Good Luck!

User - posted on 07/09/2012

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let them scream, and let people look at you..kids scream it's what they do. I've never spanked my kids and have kids that have screamed. ...just ignore your kid....just say "when you are done, we can talk"..or sing or whatever...Kids scream to get their way.....if you give in they learn they get what they want, if you spank them, you teach them it's okay to hit....so one day if they hit a child.....you won't be able to say "don't hit johnny it's not okay" why not? cause you do it to yours....just ignore your child....look at other things, continue to shop....and if people ask questions.??? "yeah sometimes kids get mad" you can say...just confirm your child is upset "i know you are so mad....you are so mad...when you are done i'll be here"
I'm and early childhood educator and a mother of two young children...who have never been spanked...kids scream for attn..and at one it's hard for them to communicate what they need...btu sometimes, t;hey just need to scream...recognize their feelings and just said you will always be there when they are done...And screw anyone who judges you...they aren't the parent....:)..oh and if they kicking..either pick them up and just leave the store.. ..or wait them out....screaming doesn't hurt anyone..unless they kid othe rpeople..then just pick them up, leave and say we will come back later, or sit in the car until they are done...hope this helps!

Beth - posted on 07/09/2012

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#1- remove your child from the store ( they are annoying everyone there) #2- if they are simply throwing a temper tantrum, drive child home #3- instill fear into child during drive home #4- spank them when you arrive home #5- put them in their room with nothing to do, read, watch, etc.

They will come out when they want to apologize for the embarrassment they caused.

Jayneil - posted on 07/08/2012

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Never. It doesn't make sense to hit a child and then turn around and expect THEM not to hit. I tried spanking, and felt that it was useless.

MISTI - posted on 07/05/2012

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IGNORE THEM THEY WANT ATTENTION FROM U AND THEY WILL STOP THROWING A FIT AND COME TO YOU

Charlene - posted on 06/30/2012

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I am now a grandmother of many, but when my sons were little, and this accured in a store, I would either leave the store immediately or would walk away from the child. Keeping him or her in site at all times. It was really funny when my middle son, lying on the floor kicking and screaming at the top of his lungs, looked up and found no one was anywhere near him. He politely got up, looked around and said Mommy, I'll be good. It still works today with the grandkids. Please remember that at some time every parent has had this same situation.

Lisa - posted on 06/30/2012

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My son started having tantrums when he was 15 months. He has got a voice with the strength of an opera singer so it was quite embarrassing. I would never spank him as I have been very firm with him about not hitting other children. Now he is 20 months and he is starting to control himself. I am so proud of him. As I have been so firm about the "not hitting" unfortunately he has started to hit himself instead when he gets upset as he needs to get the frustration out but knows he should not hit others, but it was especially bad when he was teething. I try to be very mild but firm to him when he hits himself now and say " no hitting yourself" and then he can cry and get a hug instead. It is OK to be angry when you don't have the words to express yourself or the brain to understand the world and all the rules yet. My son cries a bit on my shoulder and then he is OK again and smiles and plays with the other children. I don't think this would have happened if I spanked him for being upset. He has completely stopped hitting other children and I can see how he is trying to control himself from being upset now and not hitting himself. It is just getting better. I don't want him to be to controlled either but it is good to be able to control the hitting hand.

Kimberly - posted on 06/30/2012

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My recommendation is actually for other parents that are observing the tantrum. I have noticed if someone says something to my son (He is 5 now )when he is acting up (luckily I haven't had like a down on the ground kind of trantum with my children), he like shuts up and gets all shy and forgets that he was having a tantrum. I try to wave at the child, or have my children wave at them or smile.Mostly I am smiling because I am thinking Thank God that isn't me.
My other thing with the spanking, where does this thing about being humilating come into play. I hear people talking about it all the time. I don't recall being so called "humilated" when my mother corrected me when I was young like a toddler. Now if she corrected when I was older like 8 or 9 (school age) I could see myself being embarrassed. If I think if I felt or knew what humilation was then I wouldn't be acting like a complete fool having a tantrum now would I. So please all the so called experts, don't try to dismiss spanking by the so called humilation factor with children, I don't buy it.....

Lisa - posted on 06/28/2012

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Firstly find out why he/she is screaming and kicking. Did she see a treat in the store that you previously have given her and she wants it again? My son who doesn't eat sweets but loves bananas more than anything can spot a banana 20 metres down an aisle and will scream for one or scream when he sees bread. Is your child hungry, tired or hot perhaps? Did/he /she react on something you said? The tone of your voice? Maybe just leave the store and come back later? She can't be punished for it yet. He/She is only 1 year old. This is what it is going to be like the next 1,5 years and they won't change because you spank them. It will only make them more upset.

Natalie - posted on 06/22/2012

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1 year is definitely TOO EARLY for spanking. They have not yet developed the reasoning powers they need to understand cause and effect. If you are too embarrassed to complete your business, then take him/her home and wait until you are both in a better mood. At this age, as far as I'm concerned, spanking is child abuse.

Krystal - posted on 06/22/2012

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My 4, almost 5 year old, was just doing this and perfer the embarassment method. I stood her in the corner of the isle and told her everyone was looking at her. I've also pretended to walk away and leave her...normally I get about 10 steps before she runs after us. I never really hit her more than a slap on the hand because Im just not a spanker, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I go my butt beat at least once a week from the time I was 6 til I was 10 and I lived to tell about it. lol

Jeannie - posted on 06/17/2012

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One year old? Be sure the child is secure. Finish your business as quickly as possible and take the baby home. Your tone should be calm and businesslike and it isn't necessary to apologize or interact with other shoppers. Always, always, take the babies out after their nap and when their tummies are satisfied. There's very little point in getting upset with a baby/toddler before they can fully communicate.

Marie - posted on 06/15/2012

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My suggestion to an appropriate age for LIGHTLY spanking is 1 yr. old. We all are born with a degree of knowing right from wrong even before we are taught. That's why when you see a 1 yr. old who has learned to walk reach for something that's a no no, they slowly reach for it while looking at you; or they quickly grab it and try to run from you. Tapping their little hands enough for them to feel it while saying no help them to understand that what they're doing is wrong. I also feel like whenever you feel the need to tap a 1 yr. old's hand or little legs, do it right then so they will understand why. Don't wait a hour after the fact; they won't remember the reason they're being discipline. For mom at the grocery store - if you are not already lightly spanking that 1 yr. old, he/she will always take you through changes in public. I used one of those thin paint rulers the store uses to stir up paint when you buy it. They're long like a normal ruler, but VERY LIGHT WEIGHT, Once your child experience you disciplining him at home, they'll fully understand when you say no not now to them in the store. They know exactly what they are doing when they scream and kick in the store; they are expecting for you to give in to their wants. If you do, expect to go through that act every time. Take an appropriate toy along to keep the child occupied in the cart on your next trip to the store. I also found engaging in a lot of conversation on the child's level to keep their mind off other things until I'm done shopping also worked, If all else fail, simply remove the child from the cart, push it to the side; get in your vehicle and leave the store parking lot (since we cannot spank children in public without being arrested), and lightly spank him while you are explaining why. I've even taken what I spank with in the store with me (with no intentions of using it, but the child didn't know that). The only thing he knew was that thing in mama's hand hurt so I better act right in the store.

Brandy - posted on 06/14/2012

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I wouldn't necessarily say "spank" the child. I really try not to with my kids in public places. However, I have popped their hands for touching stuff or popped their butts (barely) for trying to run off or throw a tantrum. But usually I ignore it, make them stay in the cart and they eventually get over it. The more you can ignore it (which I know is hard) the better off, especially at a year-old. But as they get older and they know better you can't ignore it quite as much. My oldest who is 6 has only done it once or twice since she was maybe 2 or 3. She got popped in the butt in the bathroom, just because it was that bad. But at a year old, I think starting with putting him in the cart and ignoring would be the best idea, and then as he gets older and understands then move to spanking if absolutely needed. However, I've also gone with the rule that if it something that puts them in danger or what have you, then I remove them from the danger, pop them in the butt (if they are old enough to understand) and then explain why we dont- run in the parking lot, take off in the store, throw (fill in the blank) etc etc etc.

Suzanne - posted on 06/12/2012

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I take mine to the restroom where they will not suffer public emberassment and mine always ack better when we come out. I belive in spanking only on the bottom for older kids and on the hands for 1-3 year olds.

Vicki - posted on 06/12/2012

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I would walk away and leave her to it (obviously keeping her in sight so I know where she is and what is happening and that she is safe) - and have done. My daughter is 2.5 and has her tantrums, often when we are out, but if I ignore her and let her get on with it she soon realises she is not getting the attention a tantrum deserves so comes looking for me and apologises.

Ana - posted on 06/07/2012

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Depends...you have to work with your own child. Children under 1 I don't suggest it. They are growing so fast and half the time they can't control their hands or words or much of anything else enough to officially do something for a spanking...some are not even walking yet....

I think it's better when you know they can communicate, walk, sort of talk, to start types of punishment for big things, not small things because I still see them as growing and just because they throw food, or hit their brother or sister, doesn't mean they need to be punished....

Jen - posted on 06/07/2012

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My children get a combination. I have not had to physically touch my children except to grab their arm since they were little. But it is a tool in my tool box. People are just afraid to use it.

Amy - posted on 06/07/2012

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Amazingly enough I have the same results with my kids that everyone who spanks does, and I have never laid a hand on my children. It doesn't matter what you do as long as you are consistent in your punishment. As a kid, I would have picked the spanking, it was over quicker and no long term punishment. Grounding time out taking things away? OMG kill me now it was much worse waiting out the punishment then getting the belt!

Amy - posted on 06/07/2012

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Spare the rod and spoil the child is the most misused phrase out of the Bible. Do a little research, the rod is a guiding tool, a comforter etc. Not to beat your kids with. It literally means give your child no direction and you will spoil them.

Rebecca - posted on 06/06/2012

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Recently there was 60 minutes report on a mother who uses smacking as discipline in Australia. The thing I found most interesting is the reaction of my 12 nearly 13 year old son. He was mortified and thought the women should go to jail. We do not smack our 12 year old son at all and never have.

In saying that, I didn't smack my now 21 year old when she was young and she was well behaved. However, when I married her stepfather she was a bit of a handful at 6 years, due to many changes in her life. He decided to try smacking as other options were not working for a period of 6 months. This also did not work. In the end strict limits and consistancy worked. She was also never punished physically as a teenager (not to say I didn't feel like it sometimes when mouthing off). Things like removing mobile phone privileges etc were used.

So when we had our now 12 year, we agreed not smack our children. As such my 12 year has not been smacked. Nor is his 3 year old brother.

Interestingly, in contrast to my 12 year old son's reaction to smacking, my 21 year is definite that she will smack her children and that I should be smacking my 3 year old.

Besides being supported by much research, it has been my childrens reactions that have provided me with all the evidence needed on the more beneficial approach.

Misty - posted on 06/06/2012

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very true I agree with you on it and and I also wanna thank you bc you can discuss your point with out being ugly. My apologies if I offened you I did not mean too. IMO I dont agree with hitting anyone child or adult in the face Its just me(which we can agree to disagree I assume). I appreciate your thoughts and I certianly know i will eat crow pie on things. lol

Jen - posted on 06/06/2012

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I just don't like it when people condemn one thing. Never say never, because then you'll be a hypocrite when you end up doing that one thing.

Misty - posted on 06/06/2012

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Jen
I have wanted too I just fight the urge I saw a family member do that to thier kids when we were young and i hated it I Know there will come a time when i will have to make that decision and i did not want to be ugly ot condem anyone for it We all have to do what we need to to get our point across. My kids are young now I just dont like for someone to tell me they are more quailifed to raise kids then some one else we never know the issues some moms face.

Andrea - posted on 06/06/2012

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As I stated before, Yes I believe in Spanking my children, but only as a last resort. Half the time all I need to do is ask to want me to spank you for misbehaving, talking back, if nothing else has worked and they continue with their behavior... I have children from 2yrs to 19yrs, not one of my children are scared of me, they all love me. and its not because I allowed them to do whatever they want. Yes I am their friend, but more importantly I am their mother and they all know it.

Jen - posted on 06/06/2012

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@ Misty, wait until you have a teenager who mouths off... bet they'll be popped in the face too... I felt the same way you did until my teenager mouthed off...

Misty - posted on 06/06/2012

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Victoria
Your opinion is valid for you. Please dont get on here and say you are more qualified then the rest of us. The fact that you admit to popping your child on the cheek for sassing proves you are not as qualfied as you say. I may spank or pop my children on the bottom the leg or the hand at times I NEVER HIT MY CHILDREN IN THE FACE for anything. I find hitting a child anywhere other the the 3 places I mentioned is wrong and should not happen ever.

Jen - posted on 06/06/2012

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Victoria, please provide links to VALID studies about your last statement.

You are right, spankings shouldn't be used for everything because they loose their "punch". My children were spanked when they did something dangerous, but everyday things it just didn't happen. Spanking should be in a parenting tool box and used when necessary, but it should not be the only form of discipline. Those who utilize that tool are not bad parents, are not lazy parents, and should not be made to feel that way.

[deleted account]

This topic riles me and that doesn't happen much. I have been raising children for 30 years and I am a counselor by trade so I am more than equipped to share my strong opinion that physical roughness of ANY KIND is LAZY PARENTING. Sure we all have bad days, and I certainly smacked my children each on the bottom ONE TIME each during their child hood and smacked my youngest on her cheek for sassing me when she was 13, but these events were so rare that the impact was profound and even as adults they remember it. Child rearing is the opportunity for a strong study of YOURSELF, it is the time for serious reflection and change of automatic behaviors. We are in charge of the people who will run this planet in the future and I for one want to be sure it is populated with reasonable people who are not so numbed out that they can not be reasoned with in an even tone. I certainly don't want a bunch of adults who are angry and untrusting or who resort to violence when they don't get their way. I promise you, a man or woman who was spanked as a child is more likely to be violent with their adult spouse when they have run out of patience for talking AND THAT IS A LEARNED BEHAVIOR, just as a person who will listen and appreciate another even if they don't agree has learned that behavior. Thanks for listening.

[deleted account]

NEVER!! If any of you actually think violence is appropriate behavior between an adult and a child PLEASE look in the child rearing program called LOVE AND LOGIC.

"What if a 1 year old..." Your child learns everything from you. Every. Single. Behavior. It is all learned. Yes it is "inconvenient" to remove a child from the environment where inappropriate behavior is occurring, but it is inconvenient to have a power struggle over every event and be tested to see which will elicit which response. Instead be consistent from the start. Screaming always gets age appropriate consequences just as any other unwanted behavior and I PROMISE, you will raise a well adjusted, confident person who knows they can trust you. Violent people are untrustworthy no matter what age you are when you encounter one, but especially when you are a baby and the perpetrator is your mother!

Certainly there is a huge difference between discipline and child abuse, just as there is a difference between not spanking and not disciplining. There are a world of ways to get your child's attention that will make a mark that will last a lifetime, make sure it's a mark you really want to make.

Jen - posted on 06/05/2012

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Actually Andrea, to be totally honest, we had a nice conversation with a police officer about a month ago because my God-daughter was acting out. He said that in our state if a child hits you you have the right to do whatever you need to do to get him/her under control.

He said that excessive force is one thing, beating that tail is another, and child abuse is yet another. IMO more kids now a days need to get that tail beat. And IMO those who do not discipline their children with whatever means works for their child, they should be arrested for child abuse, because when they are grown they are not going to know how to control themselves. SMH.

Andrea - posted on 06/05/2012

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I have 7 children, and they all at some point was spanked on their bottom around 12 months, for things they have been repeatly told not to do. Standing them in a corner isn't really going to work, as most 12 month old's can't stand, and if they do, its said to only stand them a minute for each year of their life... so you're 12month old is going to stand in a corner for a whole minute? Everyone of my children know if they misbehave I will smack them on the bottom, and I was told by a CPS worker, as long as your not angry when you discipline them, you do not leave a mark and you only smack them on the bottom, then your disciplining your child, and it is not child abuse. For any of those parents who think its child abuse, please leave your name and number with me on a card, so when my child breaks the law, I can call and you can pay for their lawyer and bail.

Jen - posted on 06/05/2012

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You know what? People tickle me.

There is a difference between discipline and child abuse. The difference is: discipline causes a child to take notice and not want to repeat the offense - no marks left. Child abuse leaves marks and put a child at risk for broken bones, etc.

All the anti-spanking mom's.... talk to me when your teen is out of control. All you pro-spanking mom's.... I spanked my children, and they are now teenagers who while they give me some teen 'tude, are generally respectful and well behaved.

We, as mothers, are damned if we do and damned if we don't. If we don't discipline our children and they turn out misbehaved heathens, it's our fault. If we do discipline them, we are bad parents. Puleaze. Stop trying to be your child's friend and start being a PARENT.

Misty - posted on 06/04/2012

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Spare the Rod Spoil the Child is located in Proverbs 13:24 it reads"HE who spares the rod hates his child,but he who loves him is careful to discipline him" not wanting to start a new arguement only wanted to set the notion of it being about sheep correct. discipline and love go hand in hand wether it be a spanking or taking away a favorite thing.

Alexandra - posted on 06/02/2012

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Never, in my opinion, you should never spank a baby.
If your 1 year old is screaming and kicking in a store, you just ignore him/her. If there is nothing wrong physically or mentally, then they just want attention.
Spanking gives a wrong message, it tells the child it is ok to get hit, therefore it is ok to hit too.
And 1 year old is way to young for a child to understand a slap in the bottom.
Hang in there, worse times are coming, and we should keep out temper and patience.
Good luck.

Amy - posted on 06/01/2012

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There's only one sure-fire cure for a store tantrum - leave. Pick up your child, even if they're squirming and writhing like a bag full of snakes, and leave the shop. It takes them away from potential triggers, and it takes you away from other shoppers, which in turn takes the pressure off in terms of then trying to get them to stop and/or disciplining.

In answer to the subject header, I believe that smacks are a last-resort sort of thing for potentially dangerous situations. If your child is heading for a busy road and won't stop, even when you're grabbing them, then yeah, a well-placed smack on the bum might be enough to distract them from ending up roadkill. If they're chucking a tanty in the supermarket because they want a toy... maybe not. We tell kids that it's wrong to hit, so why then is it okay to turn around and hit them? Mixed messages galore.

Kelly - posted on 05/28/2012

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Belinda,
I have a four and a half yold daughter and boy does she push buttons. I did not spank her at 1, but started at two but on very rare occasions. It was not until the last 6 or 7 months have we really had to discipline her. Anyway, I am for spanking, but for a 1 yr old, I would reccommend talking to them and doing a time out after teling them what is going on. It will take a few times, but will work. They do understand, I work at a daycare and this all you can do when they are naughty. For the store scenario, leave the store if you can, or find a corner where no one is around and thump their mouth. That worked for me also. Good luck.
Kelly

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