Tanya - posted on 03/19/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )
Here's a letter from a gentle soul who needs our advise ladies! It's the haircut issue that burns me...read on!!
Ok, I need honest opinions with this one. I need to know if I just need to get over my in-law issues, or what. Here is a quick overview. I have been married almost 2 years now, love my husband to death, and I do like his parents-they are his parents- but I have been getting so frustrated with them, and in my opinion they have gone to far. But my husband thinks I am being too dramatic and that I need to just get over it. I’ll start with the little things, first it was just coming over to my house(without notice) and bring hamburger and putting it on my counter and telling me I need to fix lunch- I was trying to get my daughter’s bedroom ready because she was due soon. No biggie I did it and went on my way- p.s I hate cooking haha, next it was the 6mth pictures. THey told me that they wanted to get them done for her and would tell me when they wanted to do it so I could pick out her outfits and be there, nope, one day I came home from work and picked her up and they showed me the receipt, again I was a little upset but it was only the 6mths. Then little stuff like me coming home from spending the day with my family on the Sunday=I had Maria with me so they were not watching her, and she said in her serious voice-and she was- bout time you got your ass home-actual word though, the thing is every weekend we drive 2 hrs to where they live and spend practically the whole weekend with them,we stay at their house and we eat dinner with them, and my mom only lives 20 minutes from them, I could easily stay at her house and spend more time with them, but I don't, and when I wanted to spend one Sunday with her, his Mom has a cow.
The last thing is what really upset me, and I am still upset about it a month later. My friend was having her baby and I drove up to see be there for her, I asked his parents to watch her while I was in the hospital. Of course they did because they only get to see her on the weekends, 4 hours later I came back to find that they had cut my daughter’s hair. Here’s the thing, my daughter has never had a hair cut before, she is 15mths, she has always had a good amount of hair, and I was wanting it to grow out including her bangs. Well her bangs were below her eyes, but I always kept it pulled back out of them, and his parents were always asking to cut it, and I always told them no. And if my husband was there and I wasn't he would tell them no because I didn't want it, and so they wouldn't do it. But the second my husband and i wasn't around, they cut it. This is the only child I have, this was her first hair cut, and I didn't get to be there, they went behind my back and I feel like they knowingly disrespected me. I feel they disrespect me as a parent and think they know better then I do, yes they have more experience, they raised two kids, but they constantly make decisions without me knowing. Another little example is going out any buying a bigger size diaper, and on occasion going out and buying a bigger size shoe because they were too small, when in reality they fit as they should, but of course who am I, why would I know anything about my daughter.
Am I totally crazy for feeling like this? If I am how do I just get over it when I feel constant anger and annoyance towards them? I am worried they are going to do something else that I don't want them to do. I haven't brought it up to them because my husband thinks it will be pointless and will only cause problems. I think they owe me an apology, but he says she will never do that because she never thinks she is wrong. He thinks that I should just get over it and not worry about it because its not that big of deal. My Step-Mom agrees, she thinks that they were just looking out for Maria and trying to help out.
What should I do? HELP!