MIL ignores the fact she has grandkids

Ashley - posted on 11/09/2011

Recently my husband called his mom, though I cannot remember why. It was a quick call but she did talk to the baby. Aston (my oldest son) didn't even ask to talk to her this time. I think he knows that she and I do not get along b/c afterwards he told his dad that "gramma never calls to talk to us" pointing at himself and me. My husband told my son that was b/c gramma didn't know how great we all are and that it was her loss. I hope she comes around one day especially since there will be one more baby in a few months. However my husband told me the other day his mom was never a hugger or showed much affection at all. So he isn't shocked by her behaviour at all. Thankfully my mom and dad and my husbands dad are all super loving and give my kids all their attention when they are around

Denikka - posted on 10/06/2011

If she has such a problem with you and your family, tell her she can just bugger off. She is causing a disturbance in your family.
Would you let someone come up, slap your child across the face, and just walk away? And then YOU try and make things better? I sure hope not, but that's what she's doing on an emotional level. She's just going to continue to hurt the kids if you continue to allow this. Either she's a part of their lives or she's not. No in betweens.
As for what to tell your son, I would say that you should tell him as much of the truth as possible. He's not blind. He can see what's going on, but in true child fashion, he's blaming himself.
Just tell him that sometimes adults act childishly and lash out to hurt other people. She's ignoring him to hurt you. You can stress that this doesn't make her a BAD person, just that she doesn't know a better way to deal with her negative emotions. But just because someone doesn't know better doesn't mean that you have to stick around and be hurt by it.
If you cut contact with her, if he's curious, explain that what you're doing is sort of like an adult version of a time out or taking away a toy when he does something he's not supposed to. She hurt your family, so you're taking away a privilege for a while. When she decides that she can be nice, you can let her back into your lives.

Marie - posted on 10/06/2011

Awe! That breaks my heart! Isn't that just HORRIBLE! It's like what kind of a grandmother act that's way?? I'm so sorry, my MIL is the same way. Only difference is we live 2 minutes apart. SAD! I've come to the realization that honestly it's their fault they choose not to have anything to do w/their grandchildren and in the end at least we can say we tried. But being said the kids miss out too. And we all deserve better and NOT to be treated that way.... Best of luck!! Do what's best for you and your family!