Mother in law troubles

Judi - posted on 03/05/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My mother in law and I don't get along. Regardless of my personal feelings towards her I think it is important that she have a relationship with her grandson. My little guy is 21 months old. My husband has pressured me since my son was born to let his mother babysit and have him over to her house without us present. My mother in law suffers from a traumatic brain injury and is showing early signs of alzheimers. My husband is in denial of all these symptoms. When I point them out I think he thinks I am saying these things because I don't care for her. I have encouraged her to visit and have even tried to set up a certain day of the week that she could come over to our home and spend time with him, but she has never once excepted my invite. How do I make my husband see that it is not my personal feelings as to why I will not let her take our son, it is a safety issue?

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Angela - posted on 05/06/2009

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Do not leave your child in a situation where he could get hurt. if your husband chooses to live in denial, thats his choice.

Tanya - posted on 03/05/2009

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Child safety comes first!! I agree with your choice and monitoring your mil visits is a must. The illness can be very unpredictable (my dh's grandmother had this illness). It's the mood swings and the progressed disorientation in time and place; may become lost in familiar places that would be a great concern. Your dh isn't ready to accept his mom's condition yet but he must face it soon. It's a nasty illness and I don't wish it upon any family especially the individual who develops it. Your mil is not an ideal babysitter at this point and you need to stand strong with your choice. It's going to be tough but you're doing the right thing. Avoiding others is part of the disease and this could be the case regarding no shows to your invites. Many hugs your way!

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