Sorry.. it's a longish rant. =)

Amie - posted on 02/24/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I'm glad this group was started! My in-laws are definitely crazy! Well to start with MIL is an alcoholic, has been since my hubby was a small kid, my FIL is a psycho but is on meds to help with it. Can't remember the medical diagnosis but he's paranoid all the time, about everything. It's irritating when he goes off them because he thinks everyone is out to get him, except me! So he comes to me to talk and I get to hear all this crap that I really don't want to be involved with. bleh.....

Ok so here's just a few examples:
Our oldest two are my hubby's children but not biologically. Their bio dad has nothing to do with them. As we got farther along in our relationship he became very close to my kids and they to him, they started calling him dad and we've never looked back basically. During this transition period though I about smacked my MIL upside the head, I caught her telling my kids (5 &1 at the time) that they HAD to call him dad. My arse, if and when they decide to it will be because they want to not because someone told them too.

When our oldest was 6 she had just adjusted to having a real dad in her life but was still struggling with having another extended family. She was only 6 and it was a lot of change so of course she's going to be a little confused about it all. This time I'm glad hubby was home or I would have torn a strip off the woman and then fed her to my cat. Our oldest came home in tears. (they live across the freakin street too... another bleh) So our oldest was there with one of her friends playing in the yard. "gramma" was at the window watching and listening, she heard our girl's friend ask if my hubby's mom was her real gramma? Our girl said no, she's like a pretend gramma, my mom's mom is my real gramma. To a 6 year old this makes sense and thinking from her perspective it did to me too! The woman comes tearing out of the house and actually got between our girl and her friend and said point blank, Nicole if I'm your pretend gramma then all the toys and things I've boughten you are pretend and you can't have them. So call me gramma from now on. My hubby blew a gasket then too when he heard this. Thank god, he may have his faults but at least he stands behind me and the kids.

BOTH of them are very nosy. They constantly want to know about our finances in particular. NONE of their business. We make a very good income and are raising are kids well. The only time we've run into trouble was when they demanded money from us. Oh yes, demanded. FIL went through a mid life crisis and started spending like crazy, got a new boat, two new cars, renovated, the works..... and when he found out he'd over extended their own financial situation (they make more than us too btw) He came not only to us but to my hubby's sister and her husband and said we had to take out lines of credits against our home's to pay them back for everything they've done for us. It came out to $20,000 each!!! Like f**king bite me!!!! They had a running tally from when my hubby and his sister were teenagers and EVERY little thing they'd ever helped out with, from a car payment to a so called "gift" to my hubby and I when we bought our house for the down payment. We ended up doing it because they were at our door (living across the street from them sucks!!!) everyday asking if we'd made an appointment with the bank to get this done. We didn't talk to them for 4 months, hubby's sister didn't talk to them for almost a year!! grr....

They spy on me when hubby is at work. I am not kidding. My hubby has come home a few times and asked me who was over. The first time it happened I told him then went.. wait how'd you even know I had company? You were at work. He goes mom and dad saw someone so thought I should know in case you were cheating on me. pfffffftttttttttttt. Nosy!!! They have even gone so far as to try to convince him to hide our assets and things from me in case I decide to leave and take everything... gimme a break. At least he's not dumb enough to fall for this crap.

MIL has come staggering over drunk and picked up our youngest when she was a couple months old before I got to her. They just walk in the door that's why I wasn't quite quick enough to get there. She tripped and almost dropped her on her head! I took our little one back and told her to go home.

FIL has issues with my mother. He finds her to be over bearing, meddlesome and too opinionated. OH did I mention this is from one disagreement with my mother that happened over 3 years ago? That being the only time they've ever talked? My mom at least let's sleeping dogs lie and has even tried to talk to him but he's such a dog with a bone about these things he won't let it go. He's even gone so far as to try to convince me that my parents are no good and we should have no contact with them. Ya right! Least my parents aren't on meds or alcoholics. pffttt.....

This part particularly happens in the summer, if we have company over and are outside with our kids (especially ANY family) they'll go sit outside in their front yard and stare at us until we go inside or our back yard to get away from them. aahhh!!!

Ok one more then I'm done for now.... they try constantly to undermine our authority with our kids. Discipline included. We've told them numerous times to not do that. They are our children and we have final say in all matters. It's gotten to the point though where we're limiting contact. My hubby had to go over and told them that they either start listening to us, we are no longer kids ourselves, or they will not see their grandchildren or us. But oh no can't do that. So they've both now started drinking. MIL even more heavily than she was and FIL just drinking like I've never seen before. They've both at one point or another since we've done this come over or called and blamed us for their drinking and then in the same sentence tell us how proud they are of us for doing right by our kids.

They just drive me mad!! I'm just glad that my hubby at least sees this and knows I'm not trying to make waves but they really are people who our kids don't need to have a lot of contact with until they shape up their own lives. We don't need kids messed up in the head because of prolonged contact with messed up grandparents.

Anyway, that's just a jist of it. They have had some good days, they are not entirely bad people but when you weigh the good against the bad, the bad far out weighs the good. I can't wait for the day we find the next house we want. We've been looking for a bigger one, not only because of our expanding family (on baby # 4 now) but also to get away from them!

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Amie - posted on 03/02/2009

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Ashley,
I know how you feel. It's hard to go through and you are right, their problems somehow end up eating and your life and cause you to have to deal with them. >:| Makes me mad! My in-laws still try to treat us like we're children and need guidance meanwhile their destroying their own lives. Just more proof age does not denote wisdom. Christ if they were as wise and they try to fool everyone who isn't close to them that they are then they'd see how much they need to straighten themselves out and leave us out of it. Bleh.... I am slowly going crazy.... LOL! Best of luck to you too!!

Ashley - posted on 02/26/2009

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We recently had to cut my FIL off from us. He is also an alchohlic, he came to live with us and it had gotten to the point I was literally sick to be around him. We kicked him out. Then he lost his 3 job (in 2 1/2 m) and he started stealing money from my husband and I. It was the final straw in big ole box of straws! It's been about a month since the cut and I have to admit life is less stressful... Even my husband feels better. I hope you find your sanity! I don't know how it happens but somehow their problems eat your life!



Good Luck.



Ashley.

Amie - posted on 02/25/2009

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Thank you. I try talking to people around me but they don't always get it. And you can only rant so much before people think your crazy too! LOL!
Just to make matters that much worse too I work with my MIL. =| I'm so glad for mat leave at the moment. She was driving me nuts there too! Our boss has had a talk with her for some things and she got upset with me about it. Not my fault he noticed what you've been doing. We're warranty clerks (she's the senior one too) and part of our pay is based on commission. So the more claims we get put through the more we get paid. She actually stole some of mine from me! They were big ones too worth a few thousand. But I swallowed that and just went on working. The way we work though is there is more than one company that supplies our work with RV's. The one's I work on and the ones she works on are different. So of course our boss is gonna notice when she's starting to put through that she did mine. He came to me first and asked why. I told him I don't know, I was told to give them to her on orders from you so we could get them through faster. This wasn't true. haha... got herself caught not me. bleh....
I'm gonna go enjoy a coffee though, if I start ranting again I'll never get off here. LOL!!!

Tanya - posted on 02/25/2009

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Amie, I am truly sorry you have to deal with such horrible in laws. The stress they create must be endless and they sound very toxic to be around. Please continue to post as needed. There are wonderful ladies within this group who are experiencing similar issues and they offer a great amount of support and understanding to each of us. Many hugs for you...use a hug when you need one most! :)

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