VENTING!!!!!

Stephanie - posted on 10/08/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I'm sorry to waste space in the converstation log for this crap but if I do not vent to someone or something then I will probably go insane! A week today I had asked for my MIL to baby-sit my son for me. Which seems all too normal but if you knew everything that I have dealt with for the last year and some odd months then you would understand that this was a major request for myself and my husband. She obviously agreed to it and this has started a week full of craziness for me. I called out on the day she was going to sit for us...not because I just couldn't bare the fact of that woman not only alone with my son, but alone with my son in my house. I had genuine reasons for missing work that day, I even had to go to the doctors the earliest I could get in. After her calling me about a dozen times that day I finally packed it up and went to my mothers house...which thank goodness was empty, I needed the time to myself. The next day she calls my cell phone and even has the courage to call my parents phone, which they do not get along at all, at least 12 times in that one day. I had to eventually lie and say that we would probably be coming by b/c my back and shoulder were starting to get very sore again. The next day comes and we go over to their house for our "weekly visit" and it was like the last nine months didn't happen. I have a strict rule that if my husband and I are around that we do not let anyone do anything for him except enjoy his company. The spit up, gassyness, poopoo and peepee diapers, the feedings are all done by myself or my husband unless otherwise informed. She was just playing on the floor with him, he was not fussing or anything and I happen to see her get something out of the diaper bag out of the corner of my eye. When I looked down at my son she had already started to undress him. My husband seeing all of this at the same time I did, immediately jumped to his feet and said I got it mom. She gets up and proceeds to pout. Then it was about a half hour till my son's dinnertime so I knew that we needed to start wrapping things up. She starts asking if he wants his sippy cup full of apple juice...I politely say no its about time for his din din and that we needed to get home anyways. She ignored me, then has the balls to ask him again. So I get to my feet and started telling her that it was not time for juice that it was almost time for his dinner. She tells me to just feed him some of the fruit that she had bought for him so that he could just eat there and we didn't have to leave. I start to get a little flustered and my wonderful husband steps in and says no we need to go b/c after dinner comes bedybytime and we needed to get back before he has a chance to fall asleep in the car. It made me FURIOUS! I can not stand for someone to act like they know what my son needs! I mean hello for one I am his mother...if he needs something I believe that I would know and certainly would do whatever necessary to get it done for him. And secondly he wasn't even crying he was happy playing and crawling around with everyone until she yanked him up in her lap and he started getting irritated b/c he wanted to get down and play! Then she tells me well he was just sucking on his fingers and I thought he needed something...umm do you know what age he is? Its called TEETHING! He will chew on his bed if it makes him feel better! God its like she did it on purpose just to get to me! When I told my husband how it made me feel he said the like worst line ever...its just her motherly instincts kicking in! I could have hit the roof, I of course being heated already from the night said "that's my son, not hers. Her instincts are not needed nor wanted for that matter" if she doesn't back down soon I'm going to make her eat her actions!



~Thanks for listening~

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2 Comments

View replies by

Michaela - posted on 08/02/2010

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Unfortunately MIL NEVER leave "mothering mode" and want to do as much as humanly possible to make the grandchild, their child. I find MIL are te biggest problem because there is a difference between the wife mother and the husbands mother. Since you are the one carrying and delivering the child, the MIL automatically feels pushed out, since you will trust your own mother over her....every time! (and because your mother will have "access" that she isn't granted) This seems to come out in every MIL as soon as their "baby boy replaces her". Don't get upset when she wants to mother because that will never change and each time it happens you will just get angrier. Instead let her know you enjoy taking care of your child, just like she did.....and that you have your own ideas of parenting.....just like she did. Ask her to just respect the decisions you and your husband make, that you decided on this together. That you aren't asking for anything more than to share in the same joys that she already participated in.

Stephanie - posted on 10/08/2009

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Quoting Stephanie: Give them an inch and they take a yard

VENTING!!!!!

I'm sorry to waste space in the converstation log for this crap but if I do not vent to someone or something then I will probably go insane! A week today I had asked for my MIL to baby-sit my son for me. Which seems all too normal but if you knew everything that I have dealt with for the last year and some odd months then you would understand that this was a major request for myself and my husband. She obviously agreed to it and this has started a week full of craziness for me. I called out on the day she was going to sit for us...not because I just couldn't bare the fact of that woman not only alone with my son, but alone with my son in my house. I had genuine reasons for missing work that day, I even had to go to the doctors the earliest I could get in. After her calling me about a dozen times that day I finally packed it up and went to my mothers house...which thank goodness was empty, I needed the time to myself. The next day she calls my cell phone and even has the courage to call my parents phone, which they do not get along at all, at least 12 times in that one day. I had to eventually lie and say that we would probably be coming by b/c my back and shoulder were starting to get very sore again. The next day comes and we go over to their house for our "weekly visit" and it was like the last nine months didn't happen. I have a strict rule that if my husband and I are around that we do not let anyone do anything for him except enjoy his company. The spit up, gassyness, poopoo and peepee diapers, the feedings are all done by myself or my husband unless otherwise informed. She was just playing on the floor with him, he was not fussing or anything and I happen to see her get something out of the diaper bag out of the corner of my eye. When I looked down at my son she had already started to undress him. My husband seeing all of this at the same time I did, immediately jumped to his feet and said I got it mom. She gets up and proceeds to pout. Then it was about a half hour till my son's dinnertime so I knew that we needed to start wrapping things up. She starts asking if he wants his sippy cup full of apple juice...I politely say no its about time for his din din and that we needed to get home anyways. She ignored me, then has the balls to ask him again. So I get to my feet and started telling her that it was not time for juice that it was almost time for his dinner. She tells me to just feed him some of the fruit that she had bought for him so that he could just eat there and we didn't have to leave. I start to get a little flustered and my wonderful husband steps in and says no we need to go b/c after dinner comes bedybytime and we needed to get back before he has a chance to fall asleep in the car. It made me FURIOUS! I can not stand for someone to act like they know what my son needs! I mean hello for one I am his mother...if he needs something I believe that I would know and certainly would do whatever necessary to get it done for him. And secondly he wasn't even crying he was happy playing and crawling around with everyone until she yanked him up in her lap and he started getting irritated b/c he wanted to get down and play! Then she tells me well he was just sucking on his fingers and I thought he needed something...umm do you know what age he is? Its called TEETHING! He will chew on his bed if it makes him feel better! God its like she did it on purpose just to get to me! When I told my husband how it made me feel he said the like worst line ever...its just her motherly instincts kicking in! I could have hit the roof, I of course being heated already from the night said "that's my son, not hers. Her instincts are not needed nor wanted for that matter" if she doesn't back down soon I'm going to make her eat her actions!

~Thanks for listening~

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