I have a 4 yr old who has been acting out ..

Lora - posted on 11/30/2010

My three year old started doing that exact same thing. I saw it as a cry for attention. When your child feels left out, he tends to act out because the negative attention he receives is better than nothing at all. I resolved that I just had to beat him to it. I touch him more, talk to him more and make sure he is included when I play with the other two. Also, that bad behavior shouldn't be reinforced by negative attention. I would suggest picking him up and taking him to an isolated time out for four minutes. Then, go talk to him about his behavior and make sure to get him to apologize to the victim and to you. That's just SuperNanny101. :0)

Kira - posted on 09/02/2009

Hi Tonya -

Don't get discouraged. It sounds like you're trying your best to wear all the different hats! There aren't many 4 year olds who can practice self-control, but perhaps this is something you could focus on with him. Where does he sit in the birth order?? This could be affecting him, since he may be feeling left out of the grown up kid's activities, and may want to be a part of them, rather than being relegated to the baby corner! I know when my son was 4 years old he didn't want to be considered a baby. I would suggest maybe enlisting your older son to coach him and take him under his wing, since you've got your hands full already. I would recruit him in private though, so your little biter isn't any wiser to what you and the older one have planned for him. You'll also be teaching your older son a valuable lesson on inclusion and leadership...Bonus for you! I would not however hold out on disciplining the little one if he does act agressively. I would do it in a calm and loving manner though. And then give him another chance to play with the big kids. Love goes a long way, Tonya! Make sure to point out what he's doing right! :) Hope that helps!

Vanessa - posted on 08/24/2009

Tonya-- my word dear you seem to have your hands full. I have never been in your shoes so i cant begin 2 imagine what you are going through however i would say that it sounds like your son is acting out bc his "love tank" is empty. Perhaps you should try reading the love languages of kids by Gary Chapman.. and see if u and your son are speaking the same love language. or maybe its bc u are not reaching him and relating to his personality style. I would also recommend the book different children, different needs by Charles Boyd. I hope those help you and i will con. to pray for you.