Parental Alienation & Hostile Aggressive Parenting

[deleted account] ( 1 mom has responded )

Biomom lost all her rights when SD was 5 yrs old and hubby had sole legal & physical custody of daughter. When SD was in 8th grade she wanted to live with her mom, because her and my son didn't get along and she felt her mom was lonely. (of course mom played that well) We did this as a trial run to see how school went and visitations and how she coped with the change. Then high school came and SD didn't want to come back to our house because her mom had life seem so perfect and half the week she was an only child. So custody was changed to Joint Legal\Joint Physical. Of course nothing has been easy since SD has gone to live with her mom, and yet SD has mom on a pedal stool and believes everything her mom tells her and we are just liars and no nothing.

SD will be 18 in January and this last week has been a complete nightmare. Biomom sent email saying SD only wanted to see her 2 days a month and she didn't want to come for her week in October, or for Thanksgiving or for Christmas break.

Biomom lost custody because she was found to be unstable, unfit, narcisstic and a pathological liar. The report also said she wasn't capable of making decisions in the best interest of her daughter. We figured that in high school, there wouldnt be much damage biomom could do to SD so we let her live with her mom. Well this weekend, Sd showed us she is not emotionally stable, she is lying and manipulating both parents in order to say what each parent wants to hear. SD decided she was to mad to spend any time with her dad this weekend and apparently went back to her mom, after having dinner with her dad and told a completely different story than what took place.

I know that a court case is coming, even though there is only 5 months until she is 18, and only 9 months until she graduates HS. Hubby loves his daughter but is so blown away by her behavior and lies this past week, but can't seem to get through to her because she is being controlled (so it seems) by biomom and being told what to say, how to feel and forced to hate dad.

She was here for 2 weeks in July and everything was fine but now back with mom and the world has been turned on its axis!!!

I need legal advice, any lawyers out there?? We are broke and biomom is taking us to court for more child support which will put us on the streets because the courts dont care how little money we have to make ends meet as long as SD has all the comforts of a good life and biomom isnt working and hasnt in 9 yrs!


Angela - posted on 08/30/2009




Your situation is hard, because SD is so close to 18. Once she turns 18 there is nothing at all you or biomom can do unless you prove her to be mentally unfit to care for herself (which is extreemly difficult do to with an 18 yr old). However, you have 5 months until she is 18. If I were you I would simply try to get her into see a therapist. The problem with this is that biomom has joint custody so she may have to also consent to the therapy. I am not sure what state you live in, but you may want to check out the tape recording laws. You can check on your state laws at this site...

You could simply start recording everything and then either play it back for SD if its biomom who is lying, or you could play it back for biomom if it is SD who is lying.

I know that you love SD, so I will try to say this gently and please dont take it the wrong way.... You mentioned that biomom has some mental health issues, well most mental health issues are hereditary. So, there is a chance that SD could genetically have these same problems.

I am not a lawyer, and you would need to talk with one that is in your state; however, most attorneys will give a free one hour consultation. I recommend talking with several of them, and if you know the questions you want to ask then you can get some great advice.

Good luck and keep us posted!

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