Overnight stays with 2 year old step daughter?

Donna - posted on 04/16/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




Hi, I'm not sure if I'm on the right board but thought I'd try. My fiance has a 2 year old daughter and is currently going through a very tough court battle trying to get joint custody of his daughter. He and bio mom dated shortly when she became pregnant and he hasn't since his daughter since she was 3 months. Mainly because mom does everything in her power to keep him out of her life, has called the police, faked him being abusive, i can go on. Anyway, currently he sees his daughter every other weekend for 2 hours and he is still fighting in court. He recently told me that when he starts getting overnight stays with his daughter, he's going to move in with his mom. He says because his daughter needs to be brought into the family slowly since she really doesn't know anyone. I live in an apartment where his mom has a home where his daughter has her own room. But I'm a little upset about this, because I feel like he doesn't want me to be part of his daughter's life and that he would rather have his mother help him with over night stays than me. Now I get she's his daughter's grandmother, and told me its only temporary until she is used to the family. He did say I will meet his daughter right away and can go over to be with them, but thinks its best for his daughter if the over night stays are with his mother...claiming that its best for her. I want to understand and I do but I feel this is strange and I feel like he doesn't trust me to care for his daughter. Should I worry...any thoughts???? Please help.

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Sofia - posted on 06/25/2012




I don't think what your bf is doing is strange at all. It makes perfect sense that he would want his mother, thebaby's grandmother, to develop a relationship with said baby first. You and him might be a great couple and be doing perfectly well together. This does not mean that your bf is ready to have baby introduce to daddy's female friend. Getting involved in a relationship where there is a child already in the picture is definitely a tricky situation. Don't read into more than it sounds like you are. Step back and allow your fiancé to make his choices. If it were you, you'd like the same respect.

Christa - posted on 06/22/2012




If you haven't met her yet and she is already going through a transition he may be right. Just be patient with him and try to trust that he knows whats best for his daughter..

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