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the ex wife will not encourage her son to have a relationship with his father (my Hubby)

Emily - posted on 12/22/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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This year we (My hubby, my daughter and I) moved across the country. This makes it hard for the trips that would just be a days drive. Now we fly kids to and from. Per court order, my hub is suppose to have his children during winter break for 1 week, but can not be forced to go. His daughter is 16 and son is 9. The daughter has chosen to come to see us, his son does not want to come. The ex will not encourage him to come, in fact telling son scary things about flying. This will be the first time either of them has flown. She has him brain washed that his step dad is his real father and my hubby is just a guy that he has to come visit. I am tired of her antics and seeing my hubby's heart break. She will not even allow son to talk to his father when he calls. Does not allow skype or any other forms of communication. If there is communication it is limited and monitored by her. This woman frustrates me to no end. Daughter sees her mom for who she really is and has a strong relationship with my hubby. I hate my ex, but I encourage my daughter to have a relationship with her father because she loves him and needs him. How do I deal with the ex without getting aggressive with her?

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4 Comments

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Emily - posted on 07/26/2012

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Barb- yes kill her with kindness. i knew the ex spoke poorly about me to everyone after we have encounters. But yes keeping the peace is a hard thing to do especially when you are being left out. Chin up and stay strong. If you love this man deeply you will stand by him and be understanding as hard it is. I know the termoil that is causes in a relationship. Stay strong and just keep moving forward.

Emily - posted on 07/26/2012

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It was taken up legally. She was in contempt at one point. However the court order clearly states we can not force the children to come with us, they have to chose. He will be going back to court to change orders. Thanks for the reply

Barb - posted on 07/17/2012

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I know where you are coming from. My boyfriend's ex refused to let him see his 13 year old for six months because of me. Now they are reestablishing their relationship (father and son) but the son won't see the father unless mommy is present. THis is causing a strain on our relationship. He assures me it's just until his relationship with his son is better, a few more weeks maybe. He won't even call me if she is around in order to "keep the peace" with her. THis woman is evil, vindictive, hateful. SHe is bad news. How can I cope with knowing she's with him (sometimes from 9 in the morning until 10 at night)? I would try to kill her with kindness. She won't know what to do.

Sofia - posted on 02/23/2012

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Not sure there's alot you can do from the position that you are in. It sounds like alot of it will need to be handle legally. If your husband has court order visitation and is not getting them he will need to get a lawyer and demand these visitations. That, however, does not mean the his son will come over happily. If his mother has brainwashed him, like you said, he will probably come to visit you guys but will have a major attitude because he doesnt really want to be there.

I think your husband has to start by speaking to a lawyer and take it from there.

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