Does anyone have joint or shared custody of a young infant?

Stephanie - posted on 03/31/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My son is 4 months old I have him 4 days and 4 nights then his dad has him 4 days 4 nights. He's s great dad and takes good care of him. We have an app on our phones that we put in when baby eats sleeps pretty much everything can be recorded. I only ask he enter in the baby's feedings and bowel movements (he sometimes has a hard time staying regular) so that we both know what's going on with baby. I can usually tell if somethings wrong with him based on if he's eating less or more often with less ounces. Father has been willing to do this until now. He says I don't need to know anything about baby when he has him and will let me know if somethings wrong. I want to start a schedule for baby with his day naps and a nightly routine, I want his dads help in doing this but he's so unpredictable some days he's all about communicating and getting along then other days he just refuses I think it's important for us to get along and be able to discuss things together but it seems like if it's my idea it's not happening. If I ask how babies doing or if he gave meds he says things like get a life when you don't have him, I told him I'm a mom all the time not just the 4 days I have baby he replies with you are a mom 4 days a week and you need to understand that! Ive tried to stay calm and wait till these moments are done but it's getting harder. My parents were not together and fought non stop so I know from experience how important it is to get along.... Any feedback about the custody or how to handle it all would be great! Maybe I'm just being concerned about baby I am a first time mom but has worked with children for 8 years so I know how important somethings are.

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Tiffiny - posted on 06/01/2012

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I had the same problem ladies and it dont get too much easier my daughter started staying with her dad at 6 months on week ends and now she is 3 we have joint custody she calls me and ask for me often I cry alot but I can say prayer helps and just be strong.

Natasha - posted on 07/11/2011

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thank you so much for all that you have told me. it is hard for me. this whole situation is kind of bitter-sweet. i'm glad he "wants" to be in her life. i just dislike that fact that he made me go thru so much, emotionally/mentally. i'm keeping positive, even though it's hard, but i'm doing it for my daughter. she does deserve to know who her father is... and in the long run she's see for herself the type of person that he is. i just pray that she is safe and that she is loved while she is with him. stephanie, i appreciate your support. i'd love to stay in contact so i can VENT out somewhere with someone that is going thru what i am. i'm taking this homeopathic remedy (stress relief spray) because i've been anxious and nervous. i'm going to start walking/riding bike so help the stress, too. i guess i'll pick up a hobby and spend time with my mom while my kid is with her dad. she starts over nights this month, and i just hope i'm strong enough to deal with. i'm sure that if i gain his trust i'll feel a but more at ease. till then.... i have to DEAL with this uncomfortness.

Stephanie - posted on 07/11/2011

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And yes it's normal to worry at least I did I worried about everything you are!

Stephanie - posted on 07/11/2011

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I look up alot of stuff when we were deciding wt to do about custody everything I found said since baby had a bond with both of us from birth (we were together) then the visits should be short and often never more than four days away from either parent. That made me feel better I dont like being away from him! But his dad is a good dad he's always done really well with baby that helps to now that baby is 7 months he's just as excited to see me as he is his dad as far as I can tell he lives us both the same I wrk at the daycare baby attends and we often babysit for each other I have never actually gone the whole four days it's not easy I have alot of worries about when he gets older and goes to school but I'm trying to focus on now and what's best for him right now also what's done at your house needs to be done at dads it helps to keep routine for baby it sucks it's not perfect but as far as I can tell my baby is happy and healthy I do understand where you are coming from! And I'm sorry you have to deal with this

Natasha - posted on 07/11/2011

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[sighs]. so you were okay with letting the father take the baby at such a young age? what i'm scared of is the baby having develpoment issues and growing up confused as to why they're always switching homes. i found this website... and i'm hoping i can cheer up with the advice of mothers that have gone or are going thru what i'm going thru. it breaks my heart. will my baby still be attached to me even though she'll be with her father 3 days a wk? i've cried and cried about this. i can't stand him. the ONLY thing i'm grateful for is my beautiful daughter. should i feel scared? is that normal?

Stephanie - posted on 07/11/2011

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Since I wrote this we've been about to get along and our communication as far as baby is concerned is great it's still really hard everytime he leaves but dad will send pics now and that helps alot my advice is no matter wt treat dad how you want to be treated and hope he will come around it took 3 months but it worked out for me and I hope it does for you also ps when baby is gone I clean shop visit friends just stay busy

Natasha - posted on 07/11/2011

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I'm actually having a hard time letting my baby go with her father. She's 6 months. We had a horrible relationship and we broke up when i was in my 1st trimester. He was never for me. He has another kid that loves him and that's the only thing that gives me peace. He's supposed to have her on wkends. He's a sarcastic fool that only wants to see me suffer. How did you cope with letting go of your baby? Please help :( he also throws that saying "when i'm with her, i dont have to tell you anything" bullcrap.

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