Alyse - posted on 03/31/2012 ( 60 moms have responded )
So, yesterday (at 5:15p.m.) I received a call from the "owner" of the at home daycare my daughter went to. She called to tell me that my daughter had bit a little boy, and by little I mean like 13-14 months (again)..
Here's the back story: My daughter started there in November. She had NEVER bitten anyone and was completely a bubbly and active child. She bit the child care's daughter twice, in which both times she was "hugging" the baby.. In January or Feb, she bit the boy 2 or 3 times within the month. I asked the owner what we should do to stop this type of behavior, I asked he what was going on, and how she was addressing it. She explained that my daughter was just hugging and loving on the kids and then would bite them. She told me it wasn't malicious and that she wouldn't be kicked out of daycare. She also told me she had never dealt with a biter..
In the past two months, she hasn't bitten.. until the last 2 weeks.2 weeks ago, she bit the boy because he was in the play car she was getting in to, and he had stolen it from her. And yesterday, she bit him again..
I had a weird feeling when I went in to the house to drop her off yesterday morning. The "owner" sighed when she saw tegan come in. She looked pissed that my child was there.
When I picked her up (6p.m.), my daughter was still in time out. The owner finally let her out when I got there.. She had been in timeout for over 45 MINUTES! She then proceeded to tell me that "i hate to say it, but i can't watch tegan anymore after today." I asked her what was happening every time she bit, and that she does not bite at home. The Owner was shocked when I told her that tegan hasn't bitten at home.. She couldn't give me a straight answer as to what the exact situation was, and then told me she "pretty much" when i said "is she just randomly going up to them and biting them?"
Today, I found out after extensive research in to facilities around me, that she is not state regulated- which she told me she was. I honestly feel like she just didn't want to have to watch the kids she was getting paid to watch. This is because whenever I got there in the morning, she would still be asleep, or the few times I saw my daughter through the window being unsupervised when I came to pick her up. When I questioned the owner about it, she said she was doing dishes or grabbing something from the other room. In my personal opinion, you can't leave 10 kids alone in a room.. I was actually touring other facilities in preparation to move her to another childcare center, where they would actually care about her and watch her. This unsupervised suspicion was then confirmed when she said to me yesterday that "the babies are scared of tegan, and I can't just leave them in here with all the other kids.. so i have to take tegan or the babies with me when I am doing other things."
so, these are my questions:
1. I am absolutely scarred from my experience and don't know what to do. Should I report her facility to the state? Should I ask for a reimbursement of my tuition due to the fact she gave me misleading information?
2. What do I do about the biting? I've researched it thoroughly and found that it is just a "phase" that some kids go through. How do I squash the behavior? I've been trying redirection and time-out, but she does not bite at home. How do I convey that she can't bite??
3. I am so scared to take her to another daycare center; I have limited funds, and I am not sure what to do. Any recommendations for centers?