18 month old kicked out of daycare.. help!

Alyse - posted on 03/31/2012 ( 60 moms have responded )

4

29

0

So, yesterday (at 5:15p.m.) I received a call from the "owner" of the at home daycare my daughter went to. She called to tell me that my daughter had bit a little boy, and by little I mean like 13-14 months (again)..



Here's the back story: My daughter started there in November. She had NEVER bitten anyone and was completely a bubbly and active child. She bit the child care's daughter twice, in which both times she was "hugging" the baby.. In January or Feb, she bit the boy 2 or 3 times within the month. I asked the owner what we should do to stop this type of behavior, I asked he what was going on, and how she was addressing it. She explained that my daughter was just hugging and loving on the kids and then would bite them. She told me it wasn't malicious and that she wouldn't be kicked out of daycare. She also told me she had never dealt with a biter..



In the past two months, she hasn't bitten.. until the last 2 weeks.2 weeks ago, she bit the boy because he was in the play car she was getting in to, and he had stolen it from her. And yesterday, she bit him again..



I had a weird feeling when I went in to the house to drop her off yesterday morning. The "owner" sighed when she saw tegan come in. She looked pissed that my child was there.



When I picked her up (6p.m.), my daughter was still in time out. The owner finally let her out when I got there.. She had been in timeout for over 45 MINUTES! She then proceeded to tell me that "i hate to say it, but i can't watch tegan anymore after today." I asked her what was happening every time she bit, and that she does not bite at home. The Owner was shocked when I told her that tegan hasn't bitten at home.. She couldn't give me a straight answer as to what the exact situation was, and then told me she "pretty much" when i said "is she just randomly going up to them and biting them?"



Today, I found out after extensive research in to facilities around me, that she is not state regulated- which she told me she was. I honestly feel like she just didn't want to have to watch the kids she was getting paid to watch. This is because whenever I got there in the morning, she would still be asleep, or the few times I saw my daughter through the window being unsupervised when I came to pick her up. When I questioned the owner about it, she said she was doing dishes or grabbing something from the other room. In my personal opinion, you can't leave 10 kids alone in a room.. I was actually touring other facilities in preparation to move her to another childcare center, where they would actually care about her and watch her. This unsupervised suspicion was then confirmed when she said to me yesterday that "the babies are scared of tegan, and I can't just leave them in here with all the other kids.. so i have to take tegan or the babies with me when I am doing other things."



so, these are my questions:



1. I am absolutely scarred from my experience and don't know what to do. Should I report her facility to the state? Should I ask for a reimbursement of my tuition due to the fact she gave me misleading information?



2. What do I do about the biting? I've researched it thoroughly and found that it is just a "phase" that some kids go through. How do I squash the behavior? I've been trying redirection and time-out, but she does not bite at home. How do I convey that she can't bite??



3. I am so scared to take her to another daycare center; I have limited funds, and I am not sure what to do. Any recommendations for centers?



Thanks!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

***** MOD WARNING *****



Enough!!! If you have nothing to add to the questions in the OP, other than to bicker between yourselves then I suggest you walk away.



Cathy S.

[deleted account]

I guess I'm not really sure what you hope to accomplish by reporting her.I hate to sound cruel but clearly her certification status wasn't that important to you before you put your child in. Nothing in your post indicates your child was neglected or in harm's way. It sounds to me (based solely on what you wrote) that if your child was not biting other children repeatedly, she's still be there for daycare. It seems to me that the main reason for reporting her is the anger/frustration/hurt/insult for being asked to leave.



I do think that calling yourself scarred is an overreaction. I would have been highly pissed of my son had been repeatedly bitten by another child and would have asked that the biter be removed.



Certainly you are owed for unused time but nothing more than that unless she violated a written contract. She may have given you misleading information but you chose to go by her word and not verify that. In addition, I'm not convinced that if you found out while Tegan was there and there was not a biting issue,that you would have pulled her.



So in brusque terms, sack up and find another child care. This time, do your background checks on either the individual or center. Find out what their policies are for biting children (both biter and bitee) and get everything in writing.

Alahnna - posted on 04/03/2012

129

9

11

I would just like to say I am an in home centre in Nova Scotia. I am an approved home under a daycare agency. My regulations for ages of children are as follows as per my agency which is licensed by the province:

if I have 3 children 18 months or younger, I can ONLY have those 3 infants, no other children

If I have a mixed age group, only 2 can be younger than 18 months and no more than 3 can be under the age of 2.

If I were to have all school age children, I could have up to 8 children.



I am required by the regulations to serve 2 snacks and 1 lunch every day. We have just had strict guidelines sent down to us about 6-8 months ago regarding what we can serve. Each snack HAS to have a fruit or veggie in it and must have at least 2 food groups in it. We are required to serve at least 8oz of liquid milk a day and children 3 and under must have the whole milk. We cannot serve juice more than twice a week. Lunch must include all food groups, we are required to serve fish once a week and we also must have one meat alternative in the lunch once a week as well. We have strict guidelines as to how much sodium, sugar, fat and fibre the food we serve is allowed to have. I basically have to take a booklet with me when I go grocery shopping and have to check labels to make sure the food falls within those guidelines. We also have foods we are absolutely not allowed to serve during daycare hours and they have banned anything junky for special occasions and such (no cupcakes, candy for halloween/christmas parties, etc).



I have forms I need to fill out for accidents/incidents. I have an attendance sheet for my children and we do fire drills once a month(required by the agency). There is a large checklist that is done by my agency supervisor when she visits to make sure I am following all rules and regulations that have been sent down by the province. I also was required to fence in my yard. My children 18 months or younger must sleep in a crib and each child must have their own seperate cot and blanket.



Now these regulations are province wide for in home daycare agencies. If you are an in home and are not enrolled in an agency, then obviously these rules don't apply to you, but I was under the understanding that you could have up to 6 children if you were unlicensed. I could be wrong on that if it has recently changed. It is definitly illegal to have 10 though, for sure.



AS for biting, I have only had to decline one child during my probationary period due to very extreme aggressive behavior. I don't feel in home daycares are equipped to deal with a child who needs a one on one unless they plan to only care for that child. I have had a few biters, one who was a pretty tough nut to crack, but I managed it. Children bite when they are infants/toddlers for many reasons, most times it's either because they don't have the words to convey what they want to say or they don't know how to deal with their emotions. I think the worst thing to do is to remove them from a social setting though, because then you are taking the opportunity away from them to learn the proper social behaviors. Give them the words to use, show the appropriate behaviors and be consistent with the consequences. You need a daycare teacher who will be observant enough to be able to pick up on cues (child is teething, instead of biting a child, give them a teether, washcloth or a teething toy, or child is angry because other child took toy, teach them to say MINE or NO instead of bite). It takes time and work, but it does eventually stop. I am always open with my other parents, explaining the situation and what I am doing to correct the problem. So far, it has worked for me.

Tracey - posted on 04/01/2012

1,094

2

58

If it is a requirement to be state registered and she is not then I would report her, it could be that she has inadequate training or facilities to be registered. She may also be unregistered because of no insurance, first aid training, staff ratios etc.



Re tuition fees not sure - she did provide you with a childminding service even if you were not happy with it. Also feel that she will not pay up and this will lead to legal action and lots of bad mouthing about you only taking action after leaving. I would speak to other parents first before you are labelled the one with the bad biting baby .



From the childminder's point of view if a child had bitten others on multiple occasions whether it is "hugging" or not I would want a parent to deal with it and if it carried on I would probably ask that child / parent to leave. How would you feel if your child came home several times with tooth marks and the childminder said don't worry it was only a hug, yes it has happened before and to other children (who are now scared of her) but it's OK it is just a phase? How would you feel towards the child and the childminder then?

[deleted account]

1) Report her and find another day care facility. It sounds to me like the problem is complete lack of supervision, which isn't a safe environment for your child

2) All you can do is redirection. If she's not biting at home, then there isn't much you can do to redirect behavior that isn't happening there. If she was, I would say watch her closely and say "no biting" BEFORE she bites (normally you see it coming).

3) Most states have a daycare search for low to moderate income families. I would look up early intervention in your area -- normally they will have a link for childcare help.



Basically, get you kid out of that daycare center. Consider this a sign that it's not the right environment for her.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

60 Comments

View replies by

Evelyn - posted on 12/17/2012

3,128

7

871

I actually work with children in a daycare situation.

1. If she is not certified in her state to have children of a certain limit...such as over 5 kids at one time...then report her. In my state, you can have up to five kids without a license or permit. You might consult someone on being reimbursed for fees though like the DHS services that oversees the child care area.

2. Biting is a phase for most kids. But you have to consider that at her age she is just learning to use words. And using words at this age is hard because their little minds are still in a stage of development that allows only so much in the way of communicating verbally. Biting is one way the children communicate: "No", "I want that", "Its mine", "Leave me alone" etc. The best that any parent can do at this stage is to tell the child to use their words and use words that the child can grasp the understanding of. Also you might try teaching signs to her so she can communicate her feelings more easily. Sign language is simple and easy to learn basic words for no, yes, potty, please, thank you, hurt, bite, gentle etc. As she grows she will learn to use her words and then she can tell the others her needs or desires as far as toys and playing goes. With her not biting at home, the situation is not going to be the same as in a play group or a child care place. The teachers and you need to sit down and go over what happens when the bites happen and see what triggered it...such as the other kid had a toy she wanted, a kid stole her toy, a kid hit her, a kid touched her or got in her space....all these things can trigger this. Does she throw a fit when she does not get her way in daycare and bite someone close to her? You have to look at all the stuff going on. Does the change in the schedule in the class become harder for her to deal with...she could bite someone to take it out on them. But this is just the tip of the iceberg. As for conveying its not right to bite, you just have to keep saying its not okay.

3. See if there is a place that recommend places to go based on your needs. As far as funds, a lot of people are on limited funds. Maybe you can get help through the state to get her into a good place.

Louise~~not everyone has it as simple as staying home with their kids until they quit a behavior that is frowned on. Now a days it takes two to support a family.

Tina - posted on 12/17/2012

2

0

0

BTW - - - don't assume that just because your child is the one kicked out that he/she is the problem

Just because they are the ones acting out DOES NOT mean that is where the real problem lies.

Maybe another child is aggravating, and the biter is catching the blame

Don't put your kid in a daycare unless there are NO OTHER options

If you must, then try to find one withe the lowest child to teacher ratio possible

Tina - posted on 12/17/2012

2

0

0

people are so nasty
anyway - back to the subject
As a teacher of 14 years, I always accept the blame as the teacher.
Because, we are trained to be able to predict when the biter may strike.
It's not hard to predict. If another child grabs the biters toy - - - etc.
If there is a child and biting is occuring often, they are not being properly watched - - - PERIOD.
I would take my child out. In addition, the ratio of younger children should be 4-1 or 8-2 teachers
basically, what i am telling you is your child is too good for the daycare
cheers!!

Alahnna - posted on 07/06/2012

129

9

11

I take offense to the "glorified babysitter" title. I am a single mom of 2 children and I run my own in home childcare centre. I have a registered name, I am registered through a licensed agency. I went to college for 2 years to get my Early Childhood Education program and graduated top of my class. I do at least 15 hours of continuing education each year, paying out of pocket for workshops and conferences so I can get new ideas, learn what is current best practice and collaborate with others on difficult issues I may encounter. I work hard everyday to make sure I am TEACHING my children at the centre, we do many activities every day and all my parents have told me how they see the difference between ME and a babysitter. I give my parents reports ever 6 months on how their child is developping, what they have accomplished and what we are still working on. I am a teacher and to be classified as less than that is truly insuling to myself as an ECE for all the hard work I put in, as well as all the other ECE's in my field who do the same.

Janice - posted on 07/06/2012

1,890

18

63

Erin "Death is rare from the bites but they are still extremely deadly "



This statement is completely contradictory. If death is rare than bites are not extremely deadly. Please provide some actual facts to back up your statement. What makes the bite deadly?



Actually those with degrees in early childhood education are much much more than glorified babysitters. I suppose teachers are glorified babysitters too, right? A degree mean you have been taught what is best practice and how to care for children in large groups. So if you feed the kids crap, let them watch TV half the day, don't bother to take them outside, consider an ABC workbook education and believe that biting is deadly than yes you are just a glorified babysitter. However, there is something called 'best practice.' This is the what actual research has shown to be the best for children. Such as learning through play, eating healthy, being given many different experiences. Also learning how to accommodate many children of all the same age is extremely important and not a skill everyone has.



There are many home daycare's out there that are just group babysitting. However most day cares (at least in NYS) are held to very high standards and that includes at least one (the lead) teacher in the classroom holding a degree. This is important so that when a toddler bites they automatically have strategies to prevent future bites with out "biting back' which is many adults solution or causing a parent to lose their job from loss of child care.

Erin - posted on 07/06/2012

195

0

6

Actually human bites are deadlier than animal bites. I don't care how many "degrees" a person has in childcare or psychology or childhood development, it doesn't make anyone a good or bad caregiver. I also tend to think it's become "glorified babysitting" which has increased the cost of babysitting into outrageous sums of money. Licenses mean nothing more than you can afford to pay off the government to look better to others. I'd say about 80%+ of all homes wouldn't meet the requirments of those licenses funny how it's not "unsafe and hazardous and neglegent" when it's a person own home but suddenly a babysistter is getting accussed of neglect and abuse if their home doesn't meet these requirements. Biting is normal but not all children bite, and most children don't bite for long. I'm just saying that if I had a biter and the child didn't stop I'd have to refuse to watch them as well for the safety of the other children. Death is rare from the bites but they are still extremely deadly and unpleasant and no one ele's child should have to be bitten so one person's child can stay in the facility.

Jaye (Josephine) - posted on 07/02/2012

17

9

2

A correctly qualified centre will not have a problem - if they are aware of it they redirect children's attention before issues arise :) - My child's preschool teacher helped me through my child's habit and they never bit anyone at preschool :)

Lynn - posted on 06/26/2012

162

6

2

I've had a home preschool for 16 years, and I've had a few biters. So have my best friend, and my sister, who had home preschools for years, too. First of all, I can't imagine that you would want to ask for your money back. If her being licensed was important to you, you should have researched it. Your mistake. She cared for your child, and deserves to be paid for that. That also doesn't mean that the quality of her care would necessarily be any different. They only come in to re-issue the license once a year, anyway. A license does not make a daycare any better or worse, just inspected once a year. I would much rather out my kids in a place where I liked and trusted the provider, and a license doesn't matter to me. Since she didn't injure your child or anyone else's, reporting her would just be vindictive and mean. What would you say, anyway? She is perfectly within her rights to kick out a child for injuring other children, and only a very petty person would "get her back" that way, out of spite.

Yes, biting is a phase, and I've never kicked a child out because of it. There's not a lot you can really do to teach her to stop, other than tapping her lips and saying "no!" when she does it. If you do that consistently, she'll learn, or just grow out of the phase. If you do take her to another daycare or preschool, you need to be honest about her biting. If you lie by not telling them, then you're no better than the lady who lied to you about being licensed. Be prepared that she may not be accepted because other parents don't want their kids being bitten, and they may worry they'll lose other kids over your daughter's behavior.

Find another daycare that you like, be honest about your daughter's behavior, and hope that the new preschool is a better fit for you. Most kids grow out of biting pretty quickly. If she does ever do it to you or a child when you're around, make sure you tell her "No!" very sternly, and tap her lips, so she'll get the idea that it's not okay. Watching her closely around other kids will help, too, and you may be able to catch her before she does it. Good luck.

Dawn - posted on 06/26/2012

8

31

0

biting is a normal response for a toddler when either too excited, over stressed or over stimulated, or dealing with frustration and anger. It can even become common place if a child is seeking stimulation orally while trying to learn a new skill. It comes with the territory of having a home daycare.( I have one myself in the states and I keep my numbers low..per state regulations) And unfortunately....all it takes is one biter in a daycare group..to spread it like wild fire to others children in the same group. They are smart, if they see something works. they are going to use it :) Try giving her a chewie toy of some kind when these things happen and enforce to her that this is a bad choice, and means she has to go away from the fun activities everyone else is doing...as well as she must now give the bitee soft touches and say she is sorry.
From your comments i do not feel that your daycare provider is dealing with the issue proactively and you should seek another daycare and that your instincts as a parent were right.. so dont second guess yourself over much :)..speak to any new providers about your concerns about this habit since it is developing. ask questions about policies and practices for these type of situations(generally guildlines for time out here are a minute for each year of age..so for a 2 yr old..2 minutes..etc) and im sure you will find a profession who can help both you and your daughter through this.. good luck to you!

Janessa - posted on 06/25/2012

444

38

28

In saskatchewan where I live you are allowed certain amount of children and you do not have to be registered care giver. But you can only have 3-4 children at once.I know this because I looked after kids for almost 5 months including my son.

Kristin - posted on 06/15/2012

621

0

174

Oh and Isobel childcare laws are the same in every province a law is a law whether it be provincial or federal, and like Meme stated a provice can make the law more stringent but they are not allowed to not follow it. So who is the American now? Maybe people in Ontario should stop acting so smug and like they are better than everyone and actually research what they are talking about so they dont look stupid to all us "dumb albertans" LOL Thank god I live in Alberta we have a lot of services here for childcare, for example my gf pays 30 dollars a month to her daycare and the government pays the other 720 dollars a month, and more often than not most people get partial subsidy for childcare. I have never met a single mother ot lowere income family be denied child care subsidy as in Alberta the government would rather have parents work then to have people on welfare and a subsidy is a lot cheaper than welfare.

Kristin - posted on 06/15/2012

621

0

174

Isobel,
I live in Alberta and am very proud of my province so I resent the fact that people in Ontario call us Americans, like we are not as educated or as smart as people from Ontario? REally wow considering Alberta has the highest rating of education and standard of living in all of Canada. Meme is right, you are allowed to run private day homes with a certain amount of children, however I do not recommend them. I myself put my kids into a government run daycare as I know the day care providers all have the proper education and there is enough providers to care for all the children properly. As for why children bite that is not really fair to tell this mother to stay at home with her child. What if she is a single mother and has to work or even if she is married, what if they need her income to maintain their lifestyle? My son when he was 18 month until he was 3 he had agressive behaviors (he didnt bite but he would hit). He never got kicked out of daycare, we had a meeting with the daycare providers on the best way to handle the situation. As for all you parents who have had kids who have been hurt by other kids, well welcome to parenthood. Every single child and person I know has at one time been hurt by another child whether it be an accident or on purpose. Kids fight it is part of life and it is the adults who need to teach the children how to behave, Best bet is to get your child into a daycare and apply for government subsidy. Not sure how is works in America or in other provinces, but in Alberta (see Isobel not referencing all of Canada feel better?????) they have a government subsidy program so that a parent only has to pay an amount to the day care that they can comfortably afford and the government will pay the rest. As for your daughter biting just keep telling her gently that biting is not nice and put her in a time out for 1 minute. Best of luck

Michelle - posted on 06/13/2012

253

5

4

This is what I would do,
1. Report that woman or something bad can happen, in the daycare my daughter attends someone is CONSTANTLY watching the children, my aunty runs a home care centre and all the areas that she has are open to the other room so she is constantly watching them (apart from the kitchen although it is right around the corner) Forget getting a reimbursement I would think you would end up spending more money fighting the woman than it would be worth. Just report her and let the authorities take over the situation make sure you tell them that your not even 2 year old daughter was sat in a 'time out' corner for 45 mins that is rediculous!
2. If its not happening at home theres not much you can do about it. She won't understand what is wrong if you start punishing her after she has done the act and its been a while, it could just confuse her, Talk to the next daycare she ends up in and just let them know thats what the lady was saying and just give them a run down of the whole situation. Ask how they deal with it.
I can't recommend a centre as Im not sure where you are.

Janice - posted on 06/07/2012

1,890

18

63

Actually Erin you are 100% WRONG! I worked in a daycare for 5 years and I have 2 degrees in Early childhood education. Biting is not deadly! If it was then I would know hundreds of dead children. I have intervened in many bites and have known of many more and guess what never once was a child seriously injured. Biting is a 100% normal stage for children from 12-36 months to go thru especially when in a group care setting.

It is extremely important that day cares are regulated. Those who issue daycare licenses actually go to these day cares 1-2x a year (in NYS) in order to ensure children are in a safe environment. If a daycare breaks the law they are watched closely or shut down in order to ensure other children are not hurt.



Sure a daycare could lose clients if they allow a child to bite. However, if they are good daycare they will puts policies in place to deal with this extremely common occurance. If a child is going through a biting stage they could be the care giver's "assistant" and stay near the provider at all times.

Erin - posted on 06/07/2012

195

0

6

First off states have no interest in daycare they also have no business licensing. A license has no authority and a piece of paper cannot protect a child from harm. Why I'm saying that is that no matter how many licenses a person has it doesn't make them a good provider. I don't think you have enough evidence to make any reports. It kinda sounds like to me you got mad your child was expelled and now want revenge. Also I fail to see how having a child in another room is neglect. Surely you do not expect the provider to carry all the children with her into every room every second of the day.

I would also expell a child that bites other kids, the bites of humans can be dealy or cause serious injuries to other children. How do you think those parents feel about their kids being bitten? The provider could lose several clients if she allows anyone's kids to bite.

Valerie - posted on 04/21/2012

64

0

2

Kids can act very differently at home than they do at daycare (be it a home daycare, daycare centre, certified or not, subsidized or not) and there are good ones and bad ones in all categories and at all price points. I say shop around, ask questions, be receptive to the child-minders comments and work out plans to solve whatever comes up. It sucks to lose daycare, but if she as a person no longer wishes to have your child around, she's doing you a favor by not taking your money anymore.

April - posted on 04/04/2012

3,420

16

263

In my state, for every 5 kids that attend, a second adult needs to be in the room. So 10 kids would have to be registered, plus another adult would have to provide services, as well. I wouled look more into your state laws and find out what the rules are. 45 minutes is an excessive amount of time for any child to be in time out. It makes me wonder what else she is doing that you haven't found out about yet. I would definitely report her if she is breaking any rules. You can prevent other children from going through what your daughter did.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/04/2012

18,908

9

3002

I guess it just depends on the programs that are available in your area Janice.

Jennifer - posted on 04/04/2012

714

1

26

I never had a biter that age, but I had a hair puller. She also only did so in large social groups, to kids close to her age. It was NOT due to her lack of being able to communicate. It was due to frustration and being overwhelmed. I never really got it until I moved her to another daycare. In my case I went from a larger licensed facility to a small in home place. She never pulled hair again. I think she was overwhelmed by the choas of the larger place, although it was a quality center with a good adult to student ratio, there is still much noise and commution with that many kids! The in home care was one adult to 6 kids, more than the center, but the over all feel was much more relaxed, the schedule was more fluid, and the kids had more freedom to 'get away'. I also had to move her from a large school to a smaller one when she was in 1st grade. My daughter is 17 now, and still not real happy in crowds. She has some issues, but is not Autistic, it's just her. I also hate crowds and choas! Your little girl may have the same issue's, or was being non-physically 'bullied', a toddler can 'bully', although it is not the same as an older child would. Your toddler may have been the bully! Kids that age usually don't have any way to tell us what is causing their stress, and they live in here and now. She was stressed and dealt with it. My first daycare provider could not fathom why my daughter did such things, and neither could I, but it eventually became clear!

Janice - posted on 04/04/2012

1,890

18

63

A good daycare has enough staff that when a child goes through a biting stage, the caregiver can figure out what is triggering the biting and then intervene and prevent most bites before they occur.



And contrary to popular belief, there is not much help for low income families for daycare expense. You must be well below the poverty line and so often the programs are full so you still cant get help even if you are poor enough. I'm speaking of the US.

Julie - posted on 04/04/2012

631

96

12

Laws say 6 kids per adult -



Also, who is monitering the food eaten, etc. let alone training in case of fire and so on.



I would report this home ... to make it safe for the kids.



Don't confuse your situatio iwth teh other of her not being licensed.... that is erious, too.



A child bites for a number of reasons... and you'd best find another Day Care - AND figure out why your daughter is biting; it could be she is acting out the fact that her mother leaves her every day - and she cannot communicate her fears (and possibly oither things going on when you walk out the door).

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/04/2012

18,908

9

3002

I think the only person really "scarred" by this experience was the boy who is being continuously bitten. I would have big issues if I was paying for a day care provider and one child kept biting mine. It really is a developmental thing for some children, but knowing that would not make me any less upset about my child being bitten by another child.



I think this is a good opportunity for you to find a legitimate day care. If you want your child in day care, and you have limited funds, or are poverty level, there are programs in most areas to assist with this. You just need to look. I personally would find one that also has a teaching program tied to it. Good luck, and don't report this lady. After all, YOUR child was kicked out for continuing biting.

Mommy - posted on 04/03/2012

328

18

2

My sitter is an at-home LICENSED day care provider, with a tax ID number. I thank god all the time I have her, because she is wonderful, and she takes such good care of my daughter. My daughter is like part of her family, now, and she loves it there too. That being said, if my kid was continuously biting other children, I think my proivder would also stop watching her, because it's not fair to the other children, or even herself, if my child is hurting other children multiple time. I mean a couple times here or there, kids will be kids, but it sounds like this has been an ongoing issue.



On the other hand, 10 kids with 1 provider is illegal in my state. The ratio is to be 1 provider for every 5 kids. You can't put a price on quality childcare. I would check out a few places, get references, and find one that works within your budget, but is also safe and supportive of your daughter.

Marlena - posted on 04/02/2012

15

3

3

I agree with Jen on this one. She has some very sound points and really couldn't have said it better.

Lacye - posted on 04/02/2012

2,011

31

160

In the state of Mississippi, I'm pretty sure you have to have either a state certificate or you have to have so many workers for so many children. I can't ever remember which one. I went to a daycare center that was at the woman's house. She was state certified and had 1 helper for ever 10 children. I'll have to ask my aunt more about this since she would know more than I would since she does help run a daycare center. I'll get back to you with more on that.

Janice - posted on 04/01/2012

1,890

18

63

How old is your daughter? If she is under 3 years old, than biting is a very normal stage. I worked in a daycare, center not home-based, for years and it was the norm to have a biter in the toddler age (18 -36m) rooms. Never 1x in the dozens of bites I saw or knew about during the time I was at the daycare, did a bite hurt a child any more severely than if a block hit them or they fell on the playground. A biting toddler needs to be "shadowed" and taught how to be gentle and use their words. A toddler needs to be taught in the moment. Many only bite while in group care and it is the providers job to address the situation. 10 children is way too many for one person to handle when they have infants and toddlers. You need to find a daycare that has a better teacher:child ratio.



If a license is required (it should be) for that many children in your area than definitely turn her in. Laws are put in place to protect children. Unfortunately, you can not get your money back.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/01/2012

3,377

8

66

OK - I will restate, ALL the non-certified and certified daycares I have engaged, whether it be to question OR use ARE exactly as I stated. This is in NS.

Krista - posted on 04/01/2012

12,562

16

842

They will not provide the children with milk, lunches or snacks. Where a regulated daycare does. The ones here in NS must have a healthy menu, as well.



Um, that's not true. Most of the at-home daycares in my area of NS provide lunches. Mine doesn't, but she's the exception, not the rule.



An in-home centre charges (in NS) anywhere from $550/month to $650/month. I pay $800/month but I can claim every penny at the end of the year as a tax benefit. My son gets his milk and all meals and snacks provided. He is cared for by trained professionals. He gets to be in company with other children within his age group.



And I pay only $100 a week for my daycare, and my daycare provider gives me full receipts at the end of the calendar year, for taxation purposes. She's better at getting him to eat his vegetables than I am, and he is there with two other little boys close to his age. Plus, she loves my son like he's family.



If you don't think at-home daycare is right for your family, that's your prerogative. But please stop making generalized, sweeping statements disparaging ALL at-home daycares. Because I could tell you some horror stories about regulated daycare facilities, but certainly don't assume that they're ALL that way.



Now, back to the OP -- I don't think it's necessarily worth reporting. To me it doesn't sound like she's hurting the kids any...she's just a bit slack.



As far as the biting goes, it's tricky. You almost have to catch her in the act. And at that point, you sternly say "NO biting", and you turn away from her. She'll figure out that if she bites, nobody will play with her. A good daycare provider will work with you on this so that your approach is consistent.



As far as recommendations for centres -- you'd have to disclose where you live, before any of us can give you advice on daycare centres.

[deleted account]

I don't know where you are, but here.... you can watch 2 kids w/out being licensed and 6 kids if you are licensed w/ no aide. So even if she WERE licensed here... if she didn't have a full time aide she'd be breaking the law w/ those 10 kids. Can't watch more than two infants (which I 'believe' is under 18 months for licensing purposes... not positive on that one) w/out an aide either.



And the 6 limit is counting your own kids, but the 2 limit isn't (I think).



Ditto Rebecca K for the rest. :)

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/01/2012

3,377

8

66

Your inference was that THIS daycare was legal, and it wouldn't be IN ONTARIO. just sayin'



I agree it is not legal to have 10 kids, regardless of what province you are in. I am positive of that. ;)

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/01/2012

3,377

8

66

Kate---

Dude, she's saying that different areas of Canada have different laws and therefor you can't say that ALL of Canada is one way.



Wrong! A main law is for all of Canada. How they structure it thereafter is up to a province. The province gets to strengthen or place specifics around the law, they don't get to change it. It is NOT like in the states.



Take spanking for instance. In Canada it IS legal between age 2-12, without implements and cannot leave a mark for more than 2 hours. However, each province has the right to strengthen this law, they cannot go against it, it is for ALL of Canada.

Isobel - posted on 04/01/2012

9,849

0

282

I'm going to pretend that wasn't a snide sarcastic remark and say THANK YOU!



Your inference was that THIS daycare was legal, and it wouldn't be IN ONTARIO. just sayin'

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/01/2012

3,377

8

66

Sure Laura, I will say in BIG letters, that it is how it is in NS and AB. Just for you. Since I can see how it is a huge deal. The fact is, there are main laws in Canada, from there provinces get to depict exactly how those laws work.



So, for me to say it is legal in Canada to have a non-regulated daycare was accurate. I did not give specific's. If I had, I would have pertained them to NS or AB.

Isobel - posted on 04/01/2012

9,849

0

282

you ALWAYS say "Canada". But thank you in advance for changing that and referencing your province from now on...cause like I said in another thread in Ontario, we call Albertans Americans so I doubt that you guys would be considered representative of Canada ;P

Kate CP - posted on 04/01/2012

8,942

36

754

Dude, she's saying that different areas of Canada have different laws and therefor you can't say that ALL of Canada is one way.



That's like me saying that ALL of the US has a law that you have to have liability insurance to drive. That's the way it is in MY state, but not ALL of the US.



See how that works?

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/01/2012

3,377

8

66

you said that in home daycares don't need to be registered IN CANADA



Ahhh, I did not clarify to go on and say how many children. I see where you are coming from now. If you had said that to begin with I would've understood. I thought you were saying that I had said it was illegal to do so... ;)

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/01/2012

3,377

8

66

Laura, I did not realize I was speaking for you. Sorry.



I have done extensive research into the Canadian law surronding daycare, whether it be certified or not. I actually went to the government to get certain questions answered. I don't typically speak for the entire Country, more often than not I say NS or AB.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/01/2012

3,377

8

66

Where the children of the provider are under the age of six years, they must be counted in the allowable age mix of children listed above; however, the provider may still have five child care children in addition to her own by caring for some school age children.



Yep, that accounts for more than 5.... **sigh**



Like I said, it all depends on the age of the children.



If you look at the chart in that link you gave, the amount of allowed children can go up to 7. So, maybe I was off by one number, when I said 8.

Isobel - posted on 04/01/2012

9,849

0

282

All I'm asking you to do is stop claiming to speak for me, is that really so difficult?

Isobel - posted on 04/01/2012

9,849

0

282

you said that in home daycares don't need to be registered IN CANADA...for starters, whereever you are has different laws from where I am because it's a PROVINCIAL issue NOT federal ...AND a daycare the size this woman is talking about DOES need to be registered (IN ONTARIO)...I don't know about where you are because I don't consider myself the sole representative of my entire country even though it is the second largest country in the world with a GREATLY vast and diverse population.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/01/2012

3,377

8

66

Laura, I don't think you know what you are talking about. Even my very first post to this thread made it fairly clear it is legal in Canada. Which is why I only employ certified daycares.



MeMe---

Whish is a big reason (not the only reason,I have several) why I refrain from at home Daycares. I only employ regulated (proven by paperwork) Daycare centres.



Yes, specific laws surronding daycare is per province but NOT the things I listed.



Go and show me where I said it was illegal in Canada to have an in-home non-regulated daycare service. I would like to see it.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/01/2012

3,377

8

66

Oh and actually, for how many children are allowed before being registered depends on how old the children are... ;)



If they are under 18months, you are only allowed 4 children. Age 18months to 3 years, you're are allowed 6. Age 3 and up, you are allowed 8. Get it straight. This goes for uncertified and certified, doesn't matter. Just with a certified daycare it means, anything over the allowed amount of children, they need another teacher (which MUST be registered for proof). Now, there are the facts about CANADA.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/01/2012

3,377

8

66

LOL - you are way too funny! This must be the 5th time I have had to set you straight then?? **rolls eyes**

Isobel - posted on 04/01/2012

9,849

0

282

and this is the 5th time I've had to disagree with your assessment of CANADA...Please use your town or province as a reference instead of the entire country.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/01/2012

3,377

8

66

Laura, RE-READ what I said. Pretty sure I SAID it WAS legal! pffftt



Kelly---

In my state, it is legal to run a home daycare without state certification, so unless she is somehow managing to get on the state cert. listings without actually earning the cert. reporting her won't do anything.



Same in Canada. Which is why, I forgo any kind of private in-home Daycare.




Hmmm, yep. I agreed with Kelly, that in Canada it is legal to run a home daycare without certification. **sigh**



I have lived in 2 provinces spanning across Canada. Alberta for 23 years and Nova Scotia for 13 years. I am sure if it is the same at one end of Canada to the next end, it is very similar in between. ;)



ETA:

I am pretty sure if you actually read all of my post you would see, I KNOW it is legal. I said I visited 4 in-home daycares and they do not submit the monies within their taxes. I think that right there would say they are NOT certified, no? I also, went on to say that they are often NOT trained in child development as a certified daycare must be.



No where did I say it was illegal. LOL

Isobel - posted on 04/01/2012

9,849

0

282

Meme...STOP SPEAKING FOR ALL OF CANADA!!!!!



In Ontario you don't need to be registered anywhere if you have 5 or less children...I'm pretty sure though that 10 children for one caregiver might be illegal

Louise - posted on 04/01/2012

5,429

69

2296

I agree with Tracey. If your child is a biter then she should not be allowed at play group or nursery until she has stopped this behaviour for the safety of the other kids. You would be the first person to compalin if your child came home with teeth marks on her face or arms. I have seen some very nasty facial bites and they do leave a scar if deep.



My advise to you is stay at home with your child and break the habit. Teach her how to show anger and affection in the appropriate way. Many years ago parents with biters bit their own children to demonstrate that it hurt. Not reccomending that now a days though.



If the woman is not registered and she is saying she is then report her. You should get your fees back up until the date she left nursery.



I have to say it is the parents responsibility to teach there child not to bite others and not the nurseries. Any nursery you go to will have the same policy. One bite and a warning and two bites and she is out again.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms