25 Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 05/10/2011 ( 38 moms have responded )

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So do you think 9 is still to young to know ALL of these, or should the age be even yonger like 6, 7.??

truthfully my 8year old has a few of these to work on...like 3,4...LOL



Your child's rude 'tude isn't always intentional. Sometimes kids just don't realize it's impolite to interrupt, pick their nose, or loudly observe that the lady walking in front of them has a large behind. And in the hustle and bustle of daily life, busy moms and dads don't always have the time to focus on etiquette. But if you reinforce these 25 must-do manners, you'll raise a polite, kind, well-liked child.-



Manner #1



When asking for something, say "Please."



Manner #2



When receiving something, say "Thank you."



Manner #3

Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.



Manner #4



If you do need to get somebody's attention right away, the phrase "excuse me" is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation.



Manner #5



When you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first. It can save you from many hours of grief later.



Manner #6

The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults.



Manner #7

Do not comment on other people's physical characteristics unless, of course, it's to compliment them, which is always welcome.



Manner #8

When people ask you how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are.



Manner #9



When you have spent time at your friend's house, remember to thank his or her parents for having you over and for the good time you had.



Manner #10

Knock on closed doors -- and wait to see if there's a response -- before entering.



Manner #11

When you make a phone call, introduce yourself first and then ask if you can speak with the person you are calling.



Manner #12

Be appreciative and say "thank you" for any gift you receive. In the age of e-mail, a handwritten thank-you note can have a powerful effect.



Related: Print and Color Cards for Birthdays, Thank-Yous and More!



Manner #13

Never use foul language in front of adults. Grown-ups already know all those words, and they find them boring and unpleasant.



Manner #14



Don't call people mean names.



Manner #15

Do not make fun of anyone for any reason. Teasing shows others you are weak, and ganging up on someone else is cruel.



Manner #16

Even if a play or an assembly is boring, sit through it quietly and pretend that you are interested. The performers and presenters are doing their best.



Manner #17

If you bump into somebody, immediately say "Excuse me."





Manner #18

Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and don't pick your nose in public.



Manner #19



As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else.



Manner #20

If you come across a parent, a teacher, or a neighbor working on something, ask if you can help. If they say "yes," do so -- you may learn something new.



Manner #21

When an adult asks you for a favor, do it without grumbling and with a smile.



Manner #22

When someone helps you, say "thank you." That person will likely want to help you again. This is especially true with teachers!



Manner #23

Use eating utensils properly. If you are unsure how to do so, ask your parents to teach you or watch what adults do.



Manner #24



Keep a napkin on your lap; use it to wipe your mouth when necessary.



Manner #25



Don't reach for things at the table; ask to have them passed.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Krista - posted on 05/10/2011

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Most of those make sense to me. #3 makes me a little sad, though. I remember what it was like to be a little kid in a room full of adults, all having their conversations, and it seemed like they would NEVER finish talking so that I could say something that I was interested in. I guess my thought on that is if we want our children to develop good conversational skills, we should actually include them in conversations once in awhile, and not ignore them to the point where they're so frustrated that they HAVE to interrupt in order to be noticed.

Bondlets - posted on 05/10/2011

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Good list! We actually teach our kids to put their hand on our arm if they need to interrupt a conversation. We put our hand on theirs to acknowledge that they are there and we will address them as soon as possible. It's worked really well especially for the little ones.

Krista - posted on 05/10/2011

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I almost want to print these and make posters for my grade one classroom, or better yet, send them home to the parents as "homework" lol!

I probably annoy the crap out of my class with my insistence on manners. When a student asks "Can I go to the bathroom?", I just say "Pardon me?" until they clue in and say "please." A few months into the year and they all have much better manners!

Jodi, I think that Manner #6 can be a good thing, not only for kids but for adults. I know many whiny kids and adults alike who utter the words "I hate..." way too often. If people kept this manner in mind, there'd be a lot more positivity in the world!

Johnny - posted on 05/10/2011

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My daughter is 2 1/2 and is at least aware of these rules. We're very strict with the please's, thank you's, excuse me's, and you're welcome's. She pretty much says them automatically now with infrequent reminders. All the others are obviously on a learning curve. I have found that right now, some of them are a tad hard to explain to her conceptually.

I do agree with Krista's comment though. We generally do not expect our daughter nor other children to stay out of "adult" conversations. In my opinion, generally if adults are talking in the presence of a child, they are equally entitled to participate in that conversation. I do not see kids as some lesser species not eligible for engaging in proper conversations. However, if they are interrupting to ask or comment off topic, that is when they should either learn to wait or use excuse me if it is important.

Now if I could just make it clear to her that it is not polite to eat your boogers, we'll be great.

Jodi - posted on 05/10/2011

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"Manner #6
The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults."

I don't agree with this. I think it is ok for children to express their negative concerns if it is expressed in a constructive way. This, to me, just screams children should be seen and not heard. If that makes my children bad mannered, then so be it, but I believe they have the right to question something if they feel negatively about it.

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JEANA - posted on 02/18/2013

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WOW!!! Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone would follow this list of manners? The world would certainly be a much nicer place to live in! I am diligently teaching my 3 (almost 4) yr old son manners. The best way to teach is definetly by example!

Juanita - posted on 10/02/2011

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My son is 10. When he was younger, his manners were excellent. We were frequently complimented on his behavior. Then, he went to school and started spending time with other peoples children... And of course, there is the "cool" factor... Now, in some ways, it seems as though we are having to teach manners all over again.

Melissa - posted on 07/17/2011

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Yeah I was well aware of all of these well before the age of 9. Of course, "children will be children" and all, so they're not always followed, but they're known. If a child by the age of 9 did not at least know they SHOULD abide by these common manners, I'd say their parents simply aren't teaching them. I only now of one child in my circle of friends who doesn't follow these "rules", and unfortunately his mother isn't at all interested in teaching or discipline, so he's fairly unruley and extremely rude. I always knew this was what would be expected of me, and if I didn't act accordingly I'd be punished accordingly. Although as far as #3 is concerned, while I was expected to wait for people to finish what they were saying and say "excuse me" before inserting myself into the conversation, I was never "unwelcome" or anything in "adult" conversations. If they're holding a conversation with a child in the room instead of asking them to go outside and play or go to the play room, then it's not an "adult" conversation, it's a simple conversation, and it's open for all in the room to be included.

Charlie - posted on 05/11/2011

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See it wouldnt bother me if a child or my children said they didnt like the food I was presenting them especially if they havent tasted it because I see that as a good time to use communication to discuss why they dont like it and encourage them to always try something first before making that decision .

Communication is very important to me and reguardless of opinion I find it always a good point of discussion especially if it promotes growth and understanding and respect for others veiwpoints .

[deleted account]

I think Jakki hit the nail on the head with her example for #6. I would totally agree with it being rude for some kid to come into your house, be presented with food and then openly announces they don't like what's been served. Especially if they haven't even tried it!

I got this viewpoint from my father. We lived in many multicultural communities (military housing) and would often have block parties. People would often make food from their country and some of it looked disgusting. I was always taught that you take a little of everything and you eat it because that's the respectful thing to do. If you taste something and don't like it, you don't have to eat any more. The same thing applied when going to people's house for dinner. You NEVER say you don't like something, just take a little to eat and don't eat any more. My father took this to the extreme though. The rule also applied to my friends who came for dinner. There was one time a friend (about 7) openly showed disgust at the food my mother put down, my father asked if he'd ever tried it and was told no, so he said "You can't say you don't like something you've never tried, so try it!" the kid refused, saying it looked like dog poop... Bad move, my father spanked him. I don't go that far, but my boys are living under those same rules of "try it first". Thankfully Yo Gabba Gabba is on my side, so I can usually say to Seth, "What did Plex say?" Answer: "He told Tootie, Try it and you'll like it!" :-)

Kate CP - posted on 05/11/2011

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I know some adults who need to work on numbers 11, 18, 19, 20, 21, and 22.

Jodi - posted on 05/11/2011

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"It really irritates the hell out of me when I'm trying to have a conversation on the phone and my son is interrupting me with useless information about spiderman."

What is it about kids the minute you get on the phone?

Tah - posted on 05/11/2011

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Many adults don't know these so their children don't use them, I see adults when out who will reach around you, bump into you, your cart, etc and never save excuse me, no please or thank you either, so when kids don't do it, I'm not surprised, but I do teach these things to my children and they do well with manners.....mostly..lol

Kelly - posted on 05/11/2011

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If any parent "practices what they preach" the child should have no problems learning these by age 5. That is the age that their personality is largely 'set in stone' and I dearly hope for the good of this country that children know these. I have to say that most kids in the midwest cities are lost to these.. but kids in the deep south are on a better track.

Nikki - posted on 05/11/2011

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My 2 1/2 year old does most of these, and my one year old is learning them. I think every child should "know" these by age 5 or so. They may still need to be reminded from time to time though.

Amber - posted on 05/11/2011

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My 4 year has most of them down, but knows about all of them.

I think the issues with #3 and #6 are definitely the way they are worded.

I don't think anybody should interrupt into conversations, but children should be able to add to a conversation if they have something to say.
If they wish to ask about another subject that isn't an emergency, they should wait until a pause in the conversation. Adults should also do this.
It should really say that you shouldn't interrupt while someone else is talking (even if you ARE in the conversation already).

Likes and dislikes should be voiced, it's timing that should be taught. You shouldn't say you don't like somebody's shoes/clothes/food/gifts in front of them. But they can be expressed to others, regardless of age. It's silly to think that they can only talk to peers about likes and dislikes. I encourage my son to have an opinion and tell me about it.

[deleted account]

I agree with six, just not the way in which it was worded.I get what there saying though.

I think manners works both ways, i will not teach my girls manners if i don't use those manners myself.I teach by example mostly but you can't expect manners from your child if you don't show manners at all times yourself.

Tammy - posted on 05/11/2011

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uuhh i dont like #6
Manner #6
The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults.

The world may not care but i sure do! if my son doesnt like how he's being treated somewhere.. then i would LOVE to know so i can help him.
Or if he doesnt like the food i would like to know so he doesnt just secretly throw it away and have him starve or eat unhealthy food. You know?
Everything else i agree with though

Stifler's - posted on 05/11/2011

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Ooh that too Krista, when one person dominates the conversation and talks over the top of the 2 or 3 other people or just talks constantly and goes on with a huge story. So rude!

Krista - posted on 05/11/2011

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Oh, I definitely agree that it's not polite to interrupt anybody, whether you're an adult or a kid. I guess I just so often see times when the adults are all talking and not leaving even the slightest bit of airspace for the kid to talk, which almost leaves the poor kid with no choice but to interrupt.

So I guess we almost need #3a and #3b. #3a being that it's rude to interrupt unless there's an emergency, and #3b being that when in a conversation, it's rude to not give other people the chance to talk.

Desiree - posted on 05/11/2011

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I know a number of Adults who don't use half those rules. but in answer Yes every child show know them by the time they are 9 or 10.

Jakki - posted on 05/11/2011

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Yay! That's a fantastic list. I'm going to read it to my kids at breakfast tomorrow!

I have tried to be a good mum but I have to say that often I am ashamed of my kids' manners.

The other day my son was having a music lesson but he was really tired. He kept on doing these enormous yawns in the teacher's face. I felt terrible and tried to gesture to him to at least cover his mouth. Afterwards he claimed that I had never told him that it was rude to yawn without covering your mouth. Hmmmph.

I can't cope - there's so much to think about! But I guess we do some manners well and others badly in our house.

Re the rule #6 about airing your dislikes - I really agree with this. I'm horrified when a kid comes to my place and loudly announces that they don't like something I have served them. This has happened several times. They really go on and on about it, and I think "what makes you think we all want to know, and have the issue dominate the conversation for the next 5 minutes?". It's almost as if the kid is PROUD of disliking something and is flaunting it.

Stifler's - posted on 05/11/2011

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I agree it should just focus on not interrupting other people's conversations unless it's an emergency. I also agree with 6, no one does care if you hate rissoles or that lady's shoes... to say that we want to hear it would be bullshit. From kids or adults, especially in public.

Jodi - posted on 05/11/2011

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I must admit, I read it that way too Loureen - after all, it talks about children not interupting adults. It should just focus on interupting in general.

Charlie - posted on 05/11/2011

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I agree people should not interrupt ....so many times though I see people brush off their kids or ignore them .

[deleted account]

My oldest had them down by 5.

I was the same as a kid.People think I'm to polite.Is there such a thing?lol



My 2 year old has a good few already as it is.



My parents thought me manners through how the acted.

I watched &i learned.

Although the still allowed me to me a child and wouldn't correct me if i didn't do the polite thing at times.I still allow my children to be children.I rather teach by example than push/force it on them.

Not all cultures use utensils also.That's the one i don't really mind if kids or adults do not do.:-)

[deleted account]

My boys (4 & 2) have most of those down, or at least are aware of them. Some are still in learning phase, like #11 because they rarely call anyone.

I disagree with those who disagree with #3. the way read it is more "don't interrupt". It's not polite to interrupt anyone, grown up or child. There are instances where a child does not need to be involved in an adult conversation, however, this rule is more about not interrupting.

I can see where #6 could be applicable (the "I hate..." that someone stated earlier), but I would rather my kids tell me their opinions of things.

#17 - Mine say, "Pardon me." Even when they flatulate.

Sal - posted on 05/10/2011

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we have most of this covered (he is 15 so it should be) except the phone manners, he is terrible i have to coach him everytime.......but he is a wizz if he gets to sms instead, and it drives me around the bend....my little ones aren't too bad but are only 3 and 4 so will see how many we check off by 9

Charlie - posted on 05/10/2011

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My two and a half year old does most of those things people always compliment him on his manners .

I do however disagree with #6 of course I care about what anyone dislikes especially my child why shouldnt his dislikes be any less valid than his likes ?

I also do not agree with #3 If we are speaking around him he has every right to be included in the conversation and ask questions , If I want to say something I dont want him hearing I will remove MYSELF .

I dont buy all that nonsense tat children should be seen and not heard , I respect that have a voice too .

Jodi - posted on 05/10/2011

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I think it was mostly the "out of earshot of adults" that I take issue with. But also, as I said, the negative concerns should be discussed in a constructive way. "I hate...." isn't constructive :D

I think perhaps if the *manner* was worded differently I wouldn't have the same issue with it.

JuLeah - posted on 05/10/2011

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These are the basics, and I know adults still working on a few. My daughter has been taught, but has not mastered all 25. She is 9 and working on them.

September - posted on 05/10/2011

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In my opinion, generally if adults are talking in the presence of a child, they are equally entitled to participate in that conversation. I do not see kids as some lesser species not eligible for engaging in proper conversations...Johnny I love those two sentences! :)

September - posted on 05/10/2011

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Our 2.5 year old knows a lot of these already, with little effort on our behalf, he's a natural I guess. By the age of 9 I would hope he would know all of them :)



Edit to add: It melts my heart when he say's excuse me ♥

[deleted account]

My son is 6, and he knows these rules.....there are some days he has trouble following them, but he knows them. I think by 9, he should have developed the self control to follow them at all times, or at least regularly.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 05/10/2011

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very true Amanda, Very ture
adults are sometimes as bad as children

Amanda - posted on 05/10/2011

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These are rules of life a 3 year old should know, doing them regularly is a different story. Of course all children need to be reminded of their manners, but most adults dont follow these manners so how do children learn to, since children learn by watching others.

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