A "Huh..." moment

Kate CP - posted on 05/04/2011 ( 41 moms have responded )

8,942

36

754

So I just realized today that when my daughter plays with her baby dolls (which is constantly) she only offers them bottles and never pretends to breast feed them. Now, I'm not disturbed in any way by this but I admit I'm puzzled. She's only ever seen me nurse my son...granted she is 5 and knows there are other ways to feed a baby. When I had Paul she asked me what I was doing the first time she saw him nurse. I simply explained that some mommies feed their babies out of a bottle and some mommies, like me, feed babies milk from their breasts. She seemed satisfied and let it drop.

So I guess I'm just pondering why she only offers her dollies bottles. Like I said, I'm not upset or anything by it, just curious I guess. Thoughts?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Tracey - posted on 05/05/2011

1,094

2

58

A bottle is an object to play with whereas holding a doll to her chest is not as much fun. Wouldn't worry about it.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/05/2011

18,939

9

3002

I am gonna guess it is because she sees she does not have boobies like her mom, and has a bottle for her dolls.

Mrs. - posted on 05/04/2011

1,767

6

30

My daughter is always pointing at my breasts and saying, "boobies". She likes naming off body parts and will do it with my fiance, herself, me and even the dog. I'm the only one she says, "boobies" to. My guess is, because she points at everything on me and then at the match on her - she sees that she doesn't have what I have.

Perhaps, your daughter doesn't breastfeed because she doesn't think she has the breasts to do it. You said to her that some moms use bottles. I guess it might follow that she is only using the only means she thinks she has.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

41 Comments

View replies by

Becky - posted on 08/15/2011

2,892

44

92

I don't have a daughter but, my 3 year old son says babies eat from boobies, not bottles. But, if he had a doll, he wouldn't pretend to breastfeed, because, as he says, "boys don't have boobies!" I ask Zach if he wants to nurse from Cole, just jokingly, and Cole laughs and says, "No Mommy, boys don't have boobies!"

Jurnee - posted on 08/15/2011

3,790

22

110

This made me remember when I was a little girl. All my younger brothers and sisters were bottle fed, but me and my best friend would breast feed our dolls. We saw a cousin of hers breast feed once, and I guess we chose to because to us it was different.

Tara - posted on 08/15/2011

2,567

14

107

LOL

If it makes you feel better I had the same thing happen with my girls, all three of them have witnessed me nursing another sibling. I once asked my now 11 year old why she pretended to bottle feed her baby dollies, ( we only had one toy bottle and it was forever missing so they would use other things as bottles, which was even funnier, watching them feed a plastic baby with a tiny wooden rolling pin) her answer to me at the time, I think she was 5 or 6, was "I don't have real boobies yet. I just have nipples".
So there you have, practical, sensible and factual.

Merry - posted on 08/15/2011

9,274

169

248

This last week Eric started nursing his own toys :) kinda nice cuz now I don't have to nurse superman for him anymore! Lol

Lacieann - posted on 08/15/2011

141

16

13

Maybe it's because she doesn't have boobs yet. She knows that grown mommies can breastfeed because they have breasts, but she doesn't so she uses a bottle.

Merry - posted on 07/28/2011

9,274

169

248

Oh but as a kid I too fed my babies bottles, my mom told me very simply that when a baby is born it's mom makes milk for it in her body, but if the baby wasn't able to be with it's mom we have bottles so it can still eat.
Sow en I pretended my babies were adopted or foster babies or babysitting them I'd feed them bottles. When I pretended they were my babies I put them to my nipples.
And I never thought about bottle feeding my babies, it was just as simple as it's my baby so it eats my milk. Bottle feeding never was a thought for me.

Merry - posted on 07/28/2011

9,274

169

248

Eric just asks me to feed his dolls, and his superman. That felt weird. :/
He's never pretended to nurse his dolls because he says boys have nipples girls have boobs.
But if he ever did I wouldn't see an issue with it. It's pretend.
I personally wouldn't give him toy bottles to play with. I'd like him to not think of bottles as ways to feed babies. So I just won't buy dolls with bottles, and if we get one as a gift I'd just take out the bottle.
I did use a bottle with Eric as a baby sometimes when I worked and he will obviously see babies being fed bottles but breastfeeding is the 'underdog' so I figure I'll give it a leg up by not having toy bottles here.

As for your daughter I bet it's just because it's a set. It came with a bottle so in. Her mind this baby drinks this bottle. And your baby drinks your milk.
No harm done, but I bet if the bottle disappeared one day she might ask you to nurse it or pretend to nurse it herself.
I do think early associations with breastfeeding as children increases likelihood that girls will be comfortable and confident breastfeeding themselves one day.

How many times have I heard women say 'I never tried breastfeeding, it's just not what my family does, I've never seen anyone do it, we use bottles here.'
Or the flip side I've heard women say 'of course I breastfeed, my mom did, my aunts, my sister, my friends, we all breastfeed why wouldn't I?'
So I guess I don't want to encourage bottle feeding since it's a lot more common anyways and a lot harder to breastfeed if you don't see it as normal.

Jen - posted on 07/28/2011

1,794

12

290

My daughter is 3.5 and before I had my son she gave her babies bottles. She would just say that she was giving her babies milk. Now that she sees me nursing her brother and that she knows that he's drinking mommy milk, she breast feeds them or she gives them a bottle or sippy cup with their mommy milk in it.

Christina - posted on 05/05/2011

1,513

28

140

Did you ever show her your expressed breastmilk? I was 17yrs old with my first. When he was 2mnths old, I took him to my mom's family for Thanksgiving. My little cousin was about 6yrs old and I was nursing my son on the couch (my family is very laid back about that kind of thing.) She couldn't comprehend what I was doing, so my aunt told me to show her how milk comes out. I did. After that, each child I had, I showed all my children how milk came out of my breast while I was nursing, so they could understand exactly what Mommy was doing. But bottle feeding a doll is very normal. My girls use to breastfeed their babies, but now they bottle feed them. My 8yr old talks about having babies some day and she will use her breast to feed them. My 7yr old daughter states she will use a bottle because she doesn't want a baby to suck on her mow-mows (she's called them that since she was about 9mnths old.)

Bonnie - posted on 05/05/2011

4,813

22

257

I don't know if anyone has already said this, but maybe she is doing the bottle feedings instead because she knows she doesn't have breasts.

Firebird - posted on 05/05/2011

2,660

30

521

My guess is because a doll isn't a real baby... toy babies get toy milk (which usually comes in the form of a bottle) and real babies get real milk.

[deleted account]

Ya, I haven't been around as much lately. Thanks ladies....here I thought I was being super innovative with my thinking. Bahaha!

[deleted account]

That is interesting Kate, because my daughter is the same. I breastfeed her baby sister, but she bottle feeds all her dolls. I assume it's because her younger cousin was bottle fed and she got great pleasure from helping hold the bottle. She's had more experience with babies and bottles. The concept of breastfeeding is almost brand new to her...even though she was breastfed.

And Dana, you missed a seriously good debate on the welcome page several weeks ago. Maybe you can dig it up. It's very entertaining.

Jennifer - posted on 05/05/2011

270

5

48

Lol yeah I remember the debates going on over that "breast feeding" doll (and did you hear how much they run for?! Insane!). Personally, I am not sure how I feel about the doll, but I know I'd never buy it. If (either of) my daughter(s) want(s) to pretend to do so with her dolls on her/their own then I'm not going to scold or repremand her/them (although she never has mimiced it and if I'm not mistaken she did see me breastfeed her sister) but I'm not going to buy a doll specifically made for it lol.

[deleted account]

thats funny, I only breast feed my second child for a couple of weeks (not able to produce enough milk) my first daughter saw me and started sitting with my boppy around her. She was under three though.

Rosie - posted on 05/05/2011

8,657

30

315

Maybe its cause she can see the milk and can actually understand what's happening. With a beast you don't get that visual.:)

JuLeah - posted on 05/05/2011

3,133

38

681

Odds are, she has the bottle, so puts it to use. If she didn't have a bottle, she might breast feed ... or give em pizza. It makes sense to her, I am sure :)

Amber - posted on 05/05/2011

1,909

13

144

@ Dana~ I think it would be a cool idea, but I don't know that I would want her to do it the proper way and be lifting her shirt for everybody. Through the shirt, not a problem at all. I bet it's adorable.

Hmmm...interesting. I don't have a girl, so I'm not sure how I feel about the shirt issue though. I'd have to think about it.



*Edited to add*

I had one of those peeing dolls when I was a kid. It had a "potty" chair that it sat on and it came with 2 cloth diapers that we could dry and reuse for times that it wasn't on the chair.

Jenni - posted on 05/05/2011

5,928

34

373

@Dana there has been. Where were you for the 'breastfeeding doll' debates and conversations on COM? :)
You should have seen the one on the mainpage! It was insane how irrate some moms were over it!

[deleted account]

Have we ever talked about or thought about why dolls always come with bottles? Would it be wrong to design a baby that encourages breastfeeding? Would it be strange to see a 3 year old holding a doll up to their chest, attempting to breastfeed?

I'm betting there would be a lot of opposition, not necessarily from this group though. Anyone have any thoughts?

Jodi - posted on 05/05/2011

26,316

36

3891

Well, there you go then. It's fascination in that bottle.

And no, don't get those ones that wet, because.....thos fucking diapers cost about 4 times as much as the real ones do. I used to collect them up and put them in the sun to dry them out. After all, only water.

Let's just say, those dolls come with food so they can poop.....and I hid that stuff so she never knew about it. No WAY I was having a doll that POOPED in the house. Or in those $1 diapers.

Kate CP - posted on 05/05/2011

8,942

36

754

Nope, my son is exclusively breastfed. The only time he's ever had a bottle was when I was hospitalized for 2 days and my daughter wasn't with him.

Like I said before, I'm not bothered my this at all. I know she's just playing and having fun. It just made me curious because I know, generally speaking, kids will emulate what they see and experience in their everyday life. But, to answer a few more questions:
Yes, I believe the doll came with a bottle. One of those "magic" bottles where the "milk" disappears when you tip it. And the only things her baby dolls do are open and close their eyes when they lay down or sit up and one of them will giggle when you press on her tummy. I NEVER want to get her the kind that wets cause...well...my daughter is a slob. :P

Sal - posted on 05/05/2011

1,816

16

33

my girls do both with their dolls, and so did i when they were babies, but the baby never saw me feed anyone

[deleted account]

When my son was still breast feeding my daughter would 'breast feed' her baby dolls but now that they're older and don't bf she gives her baby a bottle. She just mimics what I do. But also I think it's bc a bottle comes with the baby doll and the advertisements and commercials show to feed the baby with the bottle. I gave my kids bottles, too, though...I did both.

Jennifer - posted on 05/05/2011

270

5

48

LOL Cathy! My daughter has a "wet n wiggles" doll....or is it "wet n giggles?" LOL! Well, anyway, the doll coos, "drinks," and cries, as well as "pees." She does NOT know that her doll can really "drink" water and really "pee" it out lol as I've never showed her this! The doll honestly cannot tell whether or not there's water in the bottle; it will drink it and you'll hear the suckling sounds and coos. It will be happy for a short time after that and all of the sudden you'll hear it "pee" and suddenly it'll start wiggling and crying with not a wet spot in its daiper lol.

Jennifer - posted on 05/05/2011

270

5

48

LOL Cathy! My daughter has a "wet n wiggles" doll....or is it "wet n giggles?" LOL! Well, anyway, the doll coos, "drinks," and cries, as well as "pees." She does NOT know that her doll can really "drink" water and really "pee" it out lol as I've never showed her this! The doll honestly cannot tell whether or not there's water in the bottle; it will drink it and you'll hear the suckling sounds and coos. It will be happy for a short time after that and all of the sudden you'll hear it "pee" and suddenly it'll start wiggling and crying with not a wet spot in its daiper lol.

Jodi - posted on 05/05/2011

26,316

36

3891

Cathy, you have a point. My daughter used to have a Baby Born and that was part of playing with it - giving it a bottle so it could pee. Unfortunately, she broke one of its legs off and all the water went straight out the leg sockets :P

Jennifer - posted on 05/05/2011

270

5

48

As a child I wanted a baby doll, not sure why. I was specific in some of the things I wanted (I wanted it to look more real that some of the baby dolls they had out there). She bought the closest she could find and when I did play with it and feed it, it was always by means of a bottle. It was fun, I had the kind of bottles that my daughter has now (the ones that "drain" when you tilt them). I never breast fed my dolls. Never even thought about doing so. I did breast feed both of my children for a little while because I wanted them to get the antibodies from me (how long I did so was a personal decision). What I did with my doll as a child in no way affected my choice lol. There's numerous possibilities why she offers her dolls bottles. Much of that has been covered by other people lol.

Jodi - posted on 05/05/2011

26,316

36

3891

Yeah, I'm thinking the same as Jennifer and Tracey. It really probably is because the bottle came with the doll. If it had been one of those breastfeeding dolls, she would have done that because it came with the little breastfeeding top.

And just a question, do you ALWAYS breastfeed, or do you sometimes bottle feed? If sometimes baby is fed a bottle (by whoever), to her it may seem logical that she doesn't have boobs (like daddy feeding the bottle) so she needs to feed a bottle.

Jenni - posted on 05/05/2011

5,928

34

373

I was going to say what Tracey said. :)

The bottle is a 'toy'. I would assume she just wants to play with the toy that came with her doll.

Joanna - posted on 05/05/2011

2,096

19

134

My daughter gives her doll bottles to feed it, but only breastfeeds it when it's cranky or needs to sleep... Oops, me and baby are teaching bad habits, lol.

Charlie - posted on 05/05/2011

11,203

111

401

I dont know kids are strange my son often breastfed his doll LOL .

I would say it has to do with marketing more than anything ....did the doll come ith a bottle ?

[deleted account]

I wouldn't look to much into it lol.

I think even while out shopping she observes automatically moms feeding with bottles or her friends siblings being fed by bottle etc

.My oldest is six but since she was 4..she breast feeds her baby dolls.I did not b/f her.She sees b/feeding around us and the fact her aunt b/f for 2&half years.Before that she would bottle feed.My second does not feed the babys she has lol she always just puts them on her shoulder and says shush shush baby girl.Shes 2 years old.

lol

Kate CP - posted on 05/04/2011

8,942

36

754

Makes sense, makes sense. Keep 'em coming, ladies. Just thought this would be a good thinkin' question. ;)

Amber - posted on 05/04/2011

1,909

13

144

I would assume it's because she's never seen anybody play with a doll in that way and she's never seen a commercial promoting it.

Most kids learn by seeing others do things. And while she has seen you feed her brother, she might not be making that connection in her head because she's never seen it done with a doll.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms