Abortion. Thoughts feelings... opinions

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/25/2011 ( 197 moms have responded )

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I'm having a debate with a person on youtube about Abortion. I can't stand doing debates on youtube because you only get 500 characters. It's worse than twitter! Yes, I know I could IM the person, but honestly I don't want to. Besides, you guys are a lot more insightful, interesting and many of you come from countries with national health care so I won't hear about health care not being a right.

Anyways I was wondering people's opinions on keeping this legal because after hearing about dear govenour good hair (AKA Rick Perry R TX) forcing pregnant girls and women to get sonigrams prior to abortions I got pissed. Now I'm adopted and was raised Catholic (although my Catholic mom took me to get birth control) but I was also raised that God gave us free will. Which means that we're responsible for our own actions and it's up to each individual person to decide what's right for him or her.

Now personally I would never get an abortion unless it was necessary and by necessary we're talking tubal pregnancy. I honestly don't believe I'd even get one if I was raped, don't quote me on that because I'd never been raped. But I honestly don't believe I could do that. I could get a morning after pill though because I don't believe that would be the same thing. However even though I don't believe I could go get one and I don't believe they should be used as birth control (I knew a woman down in Texas whose sister had had about six abortions just because- of course I don't know how much of that was true) doesn't mean I think we should make them illegal. Of course I also believe that making abortions illegal in the states would be unconstitutional.

So anyone else. Sorry about the disjointed post,

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[deleted account]

I am 100% pro-choice for a woman to chose the right to an abortion or not. Whatever the circumstances-rape, incompatilibility with life, unable to care for a baby, emotionally traumatic, bad timing of pregnancy, or even use of repeated birth control. While I may disagree with a woman who uses abortion for repeated birth control, and find it beyond irresponsible behavior, I still respect the right to chose. The alternatives to take away the right to chose is barbaric, compared to what pro-lifers call a "barbaric" medical procedure. Because that is what an abortion is: a medical procedure. Far better then using wire hangers or begging for a beating to the gut in order to cause a miscarriage.

[deleted account]

Hope this explains my last comment:-)



I watched a programme once Karla.Women who hated using birth control or condoms and did use abortion as a form of birth control.



I don't feel all woman who abort there unborn baby do it as a form of birth control.Just because some don't or you personally know of women who had different reasons.Its not to say many don't do it for the reason i have stated(birth control).



If you ask me and i mean this respectfully.I am being honest here.If your birth control did not work or condoms etc.Aborting is the next best thing for many.Its the end to a problem birth control etc was to stop in the first place.So in a sense its being used as a form of birth control.This is not including women who get pregnant through rape or have to abort for medical reasons.

Again many women have there own reasons and i respect that 100%.

Jaime - posted on 08/28/2011

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Megan, I don't like abortion being used as a form of birth control either, but if I had to choose between a baby born into the foster care system, a baby born to an irresponsible, immature mother/parents, or aborted and spared such fates...then I'll choose abortion every single time.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/26/2011

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Appearantly so. This topic came from a conversation I had with a guy who believes it wouldn't be unconstitutional to ban abortions to try and force women to have babies. The individual also claims that most tubal pregnancies terminate themselves. I'd offer the person a medical dictionary, but he blocked me.

I don't like the idea of abortion as birth control because once you're at that point unless it's medically necessary or rape/ incest you should start seeking out adoption agencies. But the reality of how it was prior to Roe V Wade is pretty much how Feen described it.

It's not for me, unless my life was in danger it's not something I believe I'd do. But it's not my place or the government's to tell someone what they can and can't do with their body

Charlie - posted on 08/26/2011

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Here is the reality of it :



You either make it legal and make it clean , safe , quick and done by a professional.



OR you lay the woman out in the filthy garage / backyard / kitchen where ever and wrench the fetus out with a fucking coat hanger and hope that the person doing knows how to deal with the fetus if it is still alive in the most humane way possible .......lets also hope the mother doesnt get a fucking infection and bleed out and die....oh and never mind that Mr. smith performing the backyard coat hangering probably wont give a shit how far along the woman is.



Should abortion be allowed or not shouldnt even be a question , because it will always be there .......really are people that ignorant to think if its illegal everything will be peaches and cream ???

Sherri - posted on 08/26/2011

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It should be legal and should be a woman's right.



I am currently pregnant and honestly if I found something was wrong with my baby I would abort it. It should be my right.



Thank heavens all is healthy and I will never have to make such a terrible decision but still it should be mine to make.



In NH abortions are preformed up to the 22nd wk. I was actually horrified by this but it is the case.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/26/2011

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Amanda it's the same in the States. If it's past the first trimester most states won't allow the abortion unless there's a risk to the mother's life

Rosie - posted on 08/26/2011

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no you have to have an ultrasound amanda, they are just forcing women to hear and look at them now in some places instead of just having the technician look.

Amanda - posted on 08/26/2011

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Confused look, people in usa dont get ultrasounds before abortions?

Here in Canada you must have one to see how far along you are, because this will decide where the doctor will be sending you.

[deleted account]

I am pro choice only because i know everyone has the right to decide what they do with their own body.
I still think its wrong. Its still taking a life.

Sam - posted on 08/26/2011

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I think you have a good point Karla, about having someone who has been through an abortion talk to young girls facing that decision. It is not something that is easy to talk to people about, even friends can judge you very harshly about your choice.

Karla - posted on 08/26/2011

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It has occurred to me that because abortion is so taboo, and those who have had them will only talk about it with their most trusted friends, that we are not truly educating our young people about what it’s like to be a woman who makes that decision.

I’m not advocating women who’ve had an abortion talking to teens in sex-ed classes, but I do wonder: if a social worker or doctor could present non-biased, non-judgmental information about abortion, then maybe there really would be fewer abortions, or maybe people would have a better understanding about it.

I’m sure my line of thinking here is flawed but I’m realizing that the fact that it’s judged as immoral, that it truly is a difficult decision, and it is hard to come to terms with after the fact makes it nearly impossible to openly discuss. I think if we could discuss the physical, mental, and emotional causes and complications (not just “you had sex” but things like drinking, depression, signs of mental illness, drug use, stranger-danger, and sometimes failed birth-control method and cannot fathom a pregnancy now.) and the emotional consequences after the abortion (the process of dealing with your decision, etc.) that it could help us either lessen the number of abortions or if not that, at least accept the fact of it and its complications.

Karla - posted on 08/26/2011

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@Ashley,
Just as a point of information: of all the people I’ve talked to that have had abortions not one of them got pregnant with the idea “If I get pregnant I can have an abortion.” Meaning not one of them viewed abortion as birth control; they all thought their method would work, or they were raped, or they were incapacitated in some way (mental health, intoxicated, etc.)

Jaime - posted on 08/26/2011

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I am 100% pro-choice, regardless of the reason. I need only to look at the devastating reality of the foster care system (globally), to know with certainty that, although it is not fair nor easy, for some people it is the best choice. I once thought that I was pro-choice and vehemently against abortion for myself, but since becoming a mother and realizing my own limitations, I support a woman's right to choose abortion if she feels that she cannot continue with a pregnancy. I agree whole heartedly with those that have said that the energy we spend debating about abortion, could be productively spent educating the younger generations and decreasing the need for such drastic measures. Despite what is most commonly thought about abortion, however, it is absolutely NOT the easy out.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/26/2011

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Dyan, it's not completely flawed. But the thing with some parents is they're not willing to take on the emotional baggage that can come with older children. I do know of a few people who were adopted when they were in middle school. One of them is my friend down in Oregon with the open adoption. I also went to school with two brothers who were adopted by different families when they were in middle school. But that's rare too.

The sad fact is that adoptable babies are cute like kittens and puppies. Most of the older kids have been in foster care for a while which is also a flawed system. But there are adoption centres that do try to get older children adopted

Rosie - posted on 08/26/2011

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with the whole adoption thing, sure plenty of people wait and wait for a BABY, but there are tons of older kids who are waiting to be adopted as well. there is an overpopulation of the planet, plus too many children who are waiting to be adopted because nobody wants an older child. the argument that there are just tons of people waiting to adopt is somewhat flawed IMO.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/26/2011

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Like Karla I know someone who had an abortion, she now has a 5 year old girl and she had a really hard pregnancy. But she's my friend and I never stopped considering her my friend.

Marina, one of the issues another friend of mine (who's Texan and a Christian) has with Gov. Perry is he pushed a bill forward in Texas forcing a woman to have a sonigram and making her look at the pictures of the sonigram and listen to the baby's heartbeat while the technician points out the baby's limbs and organs before she gets an abortion. To me that's a human rights violation. I understand having the ultrasound to prove there is a baby. I had to have one last August when I was being hospitalized for dehydration to find out if I was really pregnant. All my baby looked like at that time was a jellybean. But making the woman hear the heartbeat is terrible when she's already making a hard decision.

I definitely agree about debating on youtube. You get too many idiots who believe forcing a woman to have a baby is fine but national health care paid for by taxes is evil.

[deleted account]

If I voted... I'd vote to make abortion illegal because I couldn't and wouldn't ever vote against my personal beliefs. That is one of the reasons I don't vote though. As much as it hurts me I know I have no right to dictate other people's beliefs/decisions.

[deleted account]

If its a form of birth control.I have a problem.Other than that i try to be understanding as much as i can, i am a mom of two children myself.I could not imagine not wanting your unborn child.My heart is with those who have to abort for medical reasons..that must be so hard.Either way it must be.

It is a choice and many are free to make that choice.Its there call, they live with it not me.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/26/2011

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That is terrible. I was with my friend when she was going in for an abortion. When they were doing the ultrasound, they did it real quick and were trying to not let her intentionally see it. She actually asked to see it, and they showed her....

Krista - posted on 08/26/2011

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Marina, I think the difference is that in many conservative states, the girls are being made to LOOK at the sonograms first, with the doctor describing "the baby" to them.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/26/2011

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Well, I am pro choice. I have known and supported many women who have had to make this difficult decision. I have never once heard of someone getting an abortion without an ultrasound first. They do this to confirm that there is still a fetus to abort.

Krista - posted on 08/26/2011

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Abortion or no abortion, I think we can ALL agree that debating on YouTube is an utter waste of time. The comments sections are an utter cesspool.

Personally, I am pro-choice, but anti-abortion, and I think that if we took all of the time and energy put into the abortion debate and channeled it towards the prevention of unwanted pregnancies, we'd see a hell of a lot fewer abortions than we do today.

Sam - posted on 08/26/2011

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Totally pro-choice. I know that everyone is entitled to their own opinion but I hate seeing "choose life your mom did" bumper stickers and stuff. The town i grew up in had a statue outside of one of the churches of Mary holding a baby with writing saying something about saving the souls of the victims of abortion, there was more to but I can't remember. It was really mean. After they put it up someone smashed the head off of the statue, it took a while for them to repair it. Like I said everyone is entitled to their own opinion but you don't have to shove your opinion down my throat by having it plastered all over your vehicle.

Kayleigh - posted on 08/26/2011

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We should save as many children from being unwanted as we possibly can.

I am definite pro-choice.

Karla - posted on 08/26/2011

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Wow, this debate community fears no topic!



I also hate debating on youtube, there are so many idiots on there and they have almost no rules whatsoever and no one to “edit” the idiocy. CoM on the other hand is great fun.



Abortion is legal in the US for a reason. At one point I was looking at “pro-life” reading material and my mother asked if I believed in it, and I said, “I don’t know.” She told me, “You don’t remember when they were finding women dead in the allies. “



Desperate people will take desperate measures to do what they feel they need to do. It’s the woman’s body, and if she judges that she cannot carry the embryo or fetus to term, then I have to trust that judgment and I am glad to know she can get trained medical care in the process. (There is no evidence that the legal status of abortion affects the number of attempted abortions.)



I don’t think I would ever get an abortion myself. I have several friends who have, and I believe it is my attitude that allows them to talk to me about it. This is a very personal and heart wrenching decision, I doubt many people take it lightly.



@Elfrieda, I personally know two people who have had two abortions in their life, and I would never expect them to become sterile because of their decisions. One went on to have a wonderful daughter. The other had some depression issues that affected her decisions at the time of conception.



Until I walk a mile in their shoes, I refuse to judge.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/25/2011

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Well my brother's situation is quite different from mine (My adoption was boring). His mom had an affair with this guy and that's how he came to be. Her husband didn't want her to keep the baby, but she didn't let the guy know it. They had this huge court battle over my brother just to hurt eachother. My brother's older brother was 3 when my brother was born and put into foster care. When my brother (and yes I call him that because he's been in my life since I was 4 ) was 6 months old he came to live with my parents, but we didn't officially adopt him until he was almost 2. We don't have pictures of him before that because my parents didn't know what was going to happen either. I haven't had the chance to ask my brother what he feels about his brother contacting him because we live on opposite ends of the country and I live in Canada while he lives in the States.

I'm sure both have their pros and cons, but I believe a closed adoption is better because then you don't have to watch your child being raised by someone else.

[deleted account]

I dont either..... Honestly, if I were adopted I dont think I would want to know my bio parents, or other possible siblings.
I think, with me I would hold alot of resentment and anger especially if there were other children that were kept. I couldnt imagine going through that.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/25/2011

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Brandi, my brother and I both have closed adoptions. However my brother's older 1/2 brother (who's my age) found him on facebook a few months ago right before my brother had his son. My brother's 1/2 brother commented that he's an uncle when my brother posted pictures of his son. My brother also knows about his family, how he came to be and that his bio dad is incarcerated in CA. I know bits and pieces on mine and have always had mixed feelings about finding out.



I do have a friend in OR who has an open adoption. His father allows him to go visit his mom and brother every so often. Of course my friend is in his 20's now and can make the choice on his own.



I don't know which one of those would be harder.

[deleted account]

Megan. I just finished a season of "Teen Mom" on netflix and there was this couple that got pregnant and decided to go with adoption, they picked the family got an open adoption.
Honestly I commend the young couple for that, giving their daughter a life they themselves never could give her. I myself could just never go through with it.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/25/2011

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Brandi, I'm not saying it would be easy. I'm very sure it was hard for my birth mom to give me up and I'm sure it's hard for other mom's to do the same thing. But, if I was young, unmarried and the father wanted nothing to do with my child, I'd hope I'd have the strength to give my baby a better life.

I also agree with you that if abortions were made illegal (as they were before Roe V Wade in the States) you'd also have a lot more women dying from results of a self inflicted abortion. Not something I wish to see.

Speaking of rape victims, the person I was having the 'discussion' with on youtube mentioned some site about women who were raped and decided to keep their babies and they were happy about it. All I have to say is, good for them but that doesn't mean that women should be forced to have children after rape or incest.

[deleted account]

There was a man a few years back that kept and fathered 7 children with his daughter whom he kept hidden and locked in a cellar he built for her.... With that being said,making abortion illegal, I think would be wrong. For example the woman I just mentioned. What about women and girls who are impregnanted by insest? How many of those children do you really believe would be accepted and loved by the mother? Not too many, they would be the base of their hate for what had happened to her. Same with rape victims. Even if abortion were ever made illegal that would'nt stop them from happening. There would be in home, back ally, do it your self abortions being performed. What a woman decides to do is 100% her choice no matter what the reason. No I dont agree with women using them as a form of birth control. But other than that, who are we to put "conditions" on why or when a woman can get one? If thats what she feels is right for her then thats that, she solved her problem on her own and thats what everybody needs to start letting people do.



Im not at all ok having one personally but if I felt that was my only option then thats what I would do.



@Megan. I completly understand what your saying about adoption but some women just cant do it. As much as I would LOVE to think I could do that for someone when it came down to it, it would kill me to hand over what I just spent nine months feeling move inside me, talking to it, rubbing the skin that seperates it from me. In my opinion that would be the hardest thing for me to do so, no I couldnt.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/25/2011

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Honestly if it's a low or no risk pregnancy and the mother is contemplating abortion I believe she should be better informed of adoptions because there are thousands of families on waiting lists for adoption agencies waiting to be parents. My mom and dad signed on and were approved in 77 but had to wait 4 years until they got me in 81. I believe many women have abortions because they don't know that they have other options. I'm quite sure giving up a baby for adoption is very hard, but think of the joy you give to another couple when you do it. That's definitely another way to sacrifice your child.

Erin - posted on 08/25/2011

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I am passionate about women's reproductive rights. Whether or not they get pregnant. Whether or not they continue the pregnancy. What sort of care they get during pregnancy and where, how, and with whom they give birth. These choices should belong to the woman, and the woman only. We don't need to like it, but we need to respect it.

So yes, I am pro-choice in all aspects of reproductive rights.

Elfrieda - posted on 08/25/2011

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I think a fair compromise would be that on a woman's second abortion, she gets her tubes tied. One time, it's a mistake, it's rape, maybe she's young and stupid, whatever. I do believe it's killing a baby, but I also believe that a woman needs to be able to choose. Hence the compromise.

Stifler's - posted on 08/25/2011

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I think if you don't agree with abortion don't get one. But leave the option there for people who really need/want it.

Rosie - posted on 08/25/2011

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with the god argument, i usually like to say that god sacrificed his child, how on earth could he not understand someone doing the same.

JuLeah - posted on 08/25/2011

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You make a good point :) It is complex. It is bigger then 500 characters. It is based on the situation and personal values of the woman. It is based on health issues ......



There is no one right answer in my opinion.



I get sick of "abortion is murder" Unless the woman was raped. What, then it is no longer murder? If the woman got preg. cause a condom broke, then she has to deal, but if it was forced on her ... stupid argument



I have worked with the kids born and not wanted ... abortion doesn't seem so bad after a day on that job



That sounded bad on reread ... I mean, kids suffering, kid addicted to crack, kids with big big emotional issues that will limit their life options - such sadness



My grandmother used to say if they charged $50 per head for every anti abortion protest, we might be able to feed and house the babies no one wants. Of course she added, that if charged, they'd likely not want to protest.



I also get sick of the religious argument: Come on ... you believe in God or you don't



The God of my understanding has a plan. If a person is meant to be born they will be. Maybe not to thoes parents' but will be born. What kind of all powerful God can't deal with this issue?



Each person who votes to make abortion needs to promise to take into their home and raise at least one child not aborted do to their actions.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/25/2011

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I believe birth control should be fully covered by your insurance and women should be better informed about IUDs and implanted devices. I have one in my arm, but I feel like an idiot because I don't remember what it's called.

Also pro choice to me doesn't mean pro abortion. I'm pro choice because it's a woman's choice what she does. And like Dyan I believe abortions are a necessary evil. to get rid of them would be the opposite of what they do in China.

One thing I don't understand is people saying that banning abortions is constitutional but national health care is unconstitutional.FML that makes no sense!

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 08/25/2011

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I also think birth control should be dirt cheap

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 08/25/2011

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I am pro-choice
(But I don’t agree with women who go get them repeatedly simply for convenience)

Rosie - posted on 08/25/2011

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as much as i loathe the thought of abortion, i feel it is a necessary evil. sure people are going to abuse it, but there are people out there that really do need to have an abortion, some people that tried to prevent it, and some people that just didn't use bc and ended up pregnant.
i feel it is up to the woman to decide what to do with her own body. we might as well start forcing women to have abortions if we are going to proceed with taking away the right that women have to choose what to do with their own body.
i will say that after 24 weeks, i am against abortion for reasons other than medical reasons. after that point the fetus becomes able to possibly live on it's own without you, it's not just about you any more.

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