Am I the only one who thinks this is WRONG!

Katie - posted on 06/04/2011 ( 146 moms have responded )

243

13

18

Ok, so last night my husband and I went to a movie for the first time in FOREVER! We decided to see the hangover 2, the first one was funny, and we don't live in a huge place so it's not like we had a ton of options. Anyways, we get our food and our tickets and sit down a woman comes in with what I would assume were her two children, and sits in the seats next to us. (Both little boys, the youngest probably 7 or 8 and the oldest maybe 11. )
I am really not one to bag on other peoples parenting (at least not out loud...In my head I am allowed to say whatever I want) but seriously. This movie had full frontal shemale, male and female nudity, the clips during the end credit showed shemale/male sex, excessive foul language, cocaine use, heavy drinking, automatic weapons....I could go on and on.
Don't get my wrong, I thought the movie was funny...But I am a grown up.
Am I the only person who thinks that this was very bad parenting on this womans part? They could have gone to see Pirates of the Caribbean or something... Would you let your young children watch a movie like the hangover? Also, shouldn't there be some sort of age limit even when you are accompanied by an adult?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jodi - posted on 06/14/2011

26,473

36

3891

And in my experience, I find it incredibly sad when someone can't just accept the humour in someone's comments without taking it too seriously......lighten up!!!



Respectfully yours, Jodi/Old enough to be a Nana, but young enough to still enjoy life and find humour where it is intended.

Johnny - posted on 06/14/2011

8,686

26

318

Dodie, firstly this is a debate forum, not a support forum. Unless expressly indicated the posters here are looking to start a discussion or debate over a topic not to receive support and help to deal with an issue. Reading the OP, having been on this forum quite a while, it is clear that Katie was trying to get us talking about appropriateness for children of more adult movies. It's not about looking for back-up. And I don't see pornographic movies mentioned anywhere in the OP.

It's the norm here for people to make slightly off-topic humorous jokes. If you do not find it funny, that's fine. I certainly won't criticize you for telling the same jokes as my 3 year old. Spend some time reading through the threads here before posting, things are pretty casual and not focused on support like many other communities on COM. Loureen has been here a long time and she knows what is appropriate in this community. It was a joke and there is certainly no need to pick her apart for it.

Charity - posted on 06/07/2011

73

17

2

It is heartbreaking to me, how many parents steal their own child's innocence by exposing them to the garbage that the media puts out. From the time children are born they are discovering EVERYTHING they possibly can and trying to come to terms with what is around with them. Life is supposed to be as simple as possible for them. I don't believe it is right to allow children of ANY age to watch ANYTHING like this. I don't believe it's right to allow children to watch scary movies. Children are SO impressionable. They don't fully understand what is real and what is not. They are seeing EVERYTHING for the very first time and their innocent, pure minds don't know how to handle grown up things yet.
Why would anyone allow their child to be afraid on purpose? Because that's what they are doing when they let their child watch a scary movie. Putting fear into a child is wrong. Why would anyone expose their child to sex and nudity? Most psychologists would tell you that's a form of sexual abuse. Too many people don't realize the mental and emotional damage they are causing their children.
I don't believe it's right to shelter a child from the whole world. But I believe there are some things that children shouldn't have to face until they are old enough to understand it. I don't care how "independent" you think your child is. They are too young to be exposed to the ways of grown ups. Let them be young as long as possible. Life goes by too fast. No one should have their innocence taken from them that early.

Dodie - posted on 06/07/2011

68

15

2

Dear Katie:
You are Right! Anyone who says that it is OK to take little kids, or even young teenagers, to a movie like that is WRONG!! I don't give a rat's petudy what anyone tells you! In fact, I would just love to hear from anyone who says it's alright!! I would tear a strip off them a mile wide & two miles high!!!
There are many forms of abuse when raising children. One of them is allowing them to watch, listen to, or practise adult behaviors before they are adults. And, take it from a Mother/Foster Mother/Grandmother who knows, that doesn't really happen until they're in their 30's & sometimes, not even then!! I have reported other parents, both male & female, that I knew were abusive, both physically & mentally. If I had been in that theatre, God help that woman! Also, though, God would have to help the Theatre personel that allowed children that age in to watch this movie. As you put it, the movie was funny, but you & I are adults! So, the first thing I would do would be to ask the woman--preferably before the movie started, if possible--what the heck she thought she was doing bringing in children that age to see an adult movie. The second thing I would do would be to report the Theatre you were attending to their Head Office & to whatever "Powers That Be" in your area for breaking the law, because they actually are! There are reasons for the Movie Ratings that are clearly posted outside the Theatre!!
Good Luck with this one! Don't be afraid or embarrassed to speak out against this kind of abuse--yes, that's what I said: ABUSE!!--of children!!!
God Bless...Dodie/Nana

JuLeah - posted on 06/06/2011

3,133

38

681

You kow what is amazing to me? We censor nudity, we censor love scenes too, but violence rape shooting stabbing and the rest we let them see. I'd not take my 9yr old to the movie you discribed. I don't want her to see that type of violence and yes, I don't believe that R rated means no one under 17, even with a parent.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

146 Comments

View replies by

Ariana - posted on 10/02/2014

1,309

0

624

Is it at all possible she just didn't know what she was going to see and didn't realize the extent to which it would have all these things?

I personally believe it's inappropriate to bring kids to see that type of movie and hope she at least discussed the content in it afterwards.

I'm pretty sure movies like that do have age restrictions but that's up to the movie theatre to enforce.

She probably should not have brought them to see it but I wouldn't put it under abusive parenting or anything, just not a good idea. If she thinks they can handle the content, or didn't check it out before entering the theatre, then I suppose those ar issues she's going to have to deal with. I personally wouldn't allow my child to see that type of thing, but I know I took my son to see Guardians of the Galaxy and there were probably scenes that were not age appropriate (although not to the extent of Hangover 2) and if someone tried to tell me I was a 'bad parent' based on my one movie theatre experience I would probably have to keep my own language age appropriate...

Jackie - posted on 09/06/2014

33

0

3

Yes, there should. But that interferes with peoples right to choose, even in regards to their kids.

Gena - posted on 02/10/2014

2

0

0

thats great if we lived in a perfect world but on the radio , tv, and in school around other kids there is bad words sex rape and violence. teens talk about all kinds of things and even act upon some of them. i think it depends on the movie and the parent. this is not abuse thats just stupid there are real things happening out there to poor kids that is really abuse. can you imagine how busy cyfd is dealing with bs calls because a parent took there kid to a r rated movie.

Gena - posted on 02/10/2014

2

0

0

I let my 15 year old boy watch hangover 3 at home with me i guess i am an abusive parent i dont think so. kids are exposed to so much more now and i enjoy talking t him about any questions he might have if something was so inappropriate is id ask him to leave the room or cover his eyes thats how i was raised.

Brittany - posted on 09/24/2011

531

9

14

Were the children obviously her children or could they have been her brothers?

Mrs. - posted on 09/10/2011

1,767

6

30

Not sure I said this before, but I was Terminator in the theatre, I was pretty damn young. My parents brought us to every movie they wanted to watch. It was the 80's so things were a bit looser. Most of the time, my folks were so poor they couldn't afford the babysitter. If they thought a part was really bad, they'd put their hands over our eyes. Usually though, it was never sex or nudity...the violence.

I'm not sure I'd bring her to The Hangover, but I wouldn't judge anyone as a bad parent for doing it. I say, keep your eyes on the screen or your own popcorn, who cares what the other parent is doing.

And you may not be able to determine the exact age of the kids you say were 7 to 11. They could have been older, but just look very little. You really don't know.

I think the true tragedy is that on one of your nights away from the kids, you didn't just relax and watch a movie...you were too busy armchair parenting. That is a waste of a night, IMO. To few of us get to go out all that often. When it happens to me, I try to just imagine I don't have a kid and leave the parenting to the parents.

Hope - posted on 09/10/2011

17

0

12

The movies I watch like horror or anything that may have very explicit scenes in it I wait til my daughter is in bed to watch, we took her to her first drive in and that was to see the smurfs movie, but then again we kind went to see it for ourselves but my daughter was with us. But anyhow I really don't think it was wise for that mother to bring her younger children to watch the Hang over, and the theatre should have known better when she was getting the tickets, I mean they could have refused her, Only cause little ones should not be watching stuff they don't understand.

Donna - posted on 09/08/2011

657

16

38

absolutely not. i get it their kids probably didnt understand, but yeah that was a really bad judgement call on moms part

Dani Lyn - posted on 09/08/2011

1

0

0

OMG, I haven't seen part 2 but based on part one, I wouldn't let my 10 and 11 year old anywhere near it until they're in their late teans. What is wrong with this mother?

Lisa - posted on 09/06/2011

8

6

1

whats wrong with the cinema staff? didnt they ask whichmovie she was gonna see? i think i would have said somat to her, i wouldnt care if i didnt see the rest of themovie and i would have certainly told the picture house staff!! gosh how disgusting xx btw glad u n ur fella went out together bless ya xxxx

[deleted account]

Thats just how some parents are. I definitely dont agree with it but if they are accompanied by an adult then you really cant say anything unfortunately cuz the kids can be there. I guess if they were smaller and werent really watching the movie i wouldnt have a prob cuz its not like they know what is going on but come on at that age! they are soaking it all in. . . ew and awkward!

Candace - posted on 07/14/2011

18

11

0

Personally I would never take my kids to a movie like that. we are more strict on what our children watch, but mostly because they are 3 and 1. I sometimes wonder when pretty around the world wonder why there kids go crazy when they grow up, or why they are having sex at 8 years old. I am only 26 years old and when i was 8 i was NOT thinking about having sex. i never went to movies that had nudity, sex, swearing etc. I guess ultimately its every parents decesion on what they do. For me if we actually treating our kids they age that they are, things with kids you wouldnt be dealing with at such young ages! when movies are intended for adults maybe the theaters have to changed there rules for kids. if they want to watch it they wait for it to come to dvd.

Amber - posted on 07/12/2011

13

19

0

I think thats wrong. I think that its 'bad parenting' when I see parents bringing kids to the 10:40 viewing of a 3 hour movie! Anytime I see kids at a late show, Im like, shouldnt they be in bed? I understand they might want to see the movie, could have gone to early show? But back to Hangover 2... I dont even let my Stepdaughter watch anything more than PG.

America3437 - posted on 07/12/2011

1,052

12

85

I try to screen all movies and even if I feel PG-13 is to much for my 13,or 14 year olds then they can't watch it.This mother obviously plays more of the "friend" role insted of the mom role. Very bad judgement on her part.

Jodi - posted on 07/12/2011

26,473

36

3891

Trish, I know that here in Australia, unless it is R rated (which here is 18+) as long as there is a guardian with the children, they can pretty much go into any movie.

Trish - posted on 07/12/2011

147

51

16

Wouldn't the movie have a rating. I doubt it would be rated PGR...So the movie cinema shouldn't of let those little boys in the cinema. I should know I use to be an usher I've bounced people that didn't have ID to prove their age to watch a restricted movie. Man that sounds so wack hahaha. All in all those kids shouldn't of been in there watching that movie. Also maybe the mum didn't know how bad the movie was gonna be with all that rude stuff. So the cinema should have warned her that this isn't a kids movie. Man dumb people.

Dodie - posted on 06/18/2011

68

15

2

Hey, Aleksandra! Love your sense of humour, Lady! Also, you are right on the money when you say that what children are exposed to doesn't always seem like it affects their behavior during their childhood! That "thrill-seeking" thing is not a new "discovery" in the world of social-psychological science, either! It has been around for decades, believe it or not. Take it from one who knows from experience with my own children & those that I have raise/helped raise over the years! You have hit the proverbial nail right on its proverbial head!! Like I said before, Ladies, & don't mind repeating: "CHILDREN LIVE WHAT THEY LEARN"!! If we show them how to disrespect themselves & others, they will! So be careful what you expose your children to, because it might come back to bite you on the petudy!!...chuckle! (My first husband said the "f" word in front of our 18 month old daughter--our eldest who was very vocal at a very early age & picked up everything, even the things you don't want her to remember!!...chuckle!!--told the teller of my bank to "f___ off!" instead of saying "Bye-bye!" the very next day! Talk about embarrassing for a young Mom!!! We laugh about it now--it happened in Victoria, BC where we were posted at the time, & I now live in Very Rural Nova Scotia!! Thankfully, she didn't bring her reputation with her...lol!!
God Speed you all, Ladies, on doing the best job you can in the MOST IMPORTANT CAREER ON THE PLANET!!!...Dodie/Nana

Dodie - posted on 06/18/2011

68

15

2

You know, Aleksandra, that ALL CHILDREN are like little sponges, so they soak up EVERYTHING that gets handed to them, whether in error or purposefully. And, yes, it does have long-term affects on ALL CHILDREN. Are the affects going to cause major socio-psychological problems later on? For most children, no. However, taking them to a movie like "Hangover 2" is not in the way of teaching them properly about Human Sexuality. It will give them a skewed version of acceptable behavior, both boys & what they expect from sex with their Partner, & for girls & what they expect of themselves. Like it or not, men, for the most part, are still--don't let this fool any of you out there! I'm not a prude nor a push-over in my private life--the aggressors when it comes to sex (check out the responses from "Do or Die Woman"). If we give our sons a reason to respect us as Mothers, & we give our daughters a reason to respect us & themselves as women & the future Mothers, we will have done our job well!
Just one more little thing: I also do not think it appropriate to show movies like "Hangover" OR like "Chain Saw Masacre" or any other violent movies or those which have blatant sexual--especially violent or deviant--behavior to our Children. It does virtually NOTHING for them & CAN influence them, especially when viewed with a Parent or Guardian, in a very negative way! If we choose to have children, we owe them the best possible, most innocent world--& believe me, I know how difficult that is!!--we can provide for them! We control the rearing &, like it or not Ladies, the future behavior of our children! Don't just hand them what they want & ignore the consequences, because you are responsible for how they end up! As Bill Cosby said: "Parental love is hereditary. We give it to our Children in the hopes that they will give it to theirs!" Don't expect to get it back, just hope they will pass it on!!
...Dodie/Nana

Dodie - posted on 06/18/2011

68

15

2

Right on, Aleksandra! Also, I wonder how many parents realize that they can do exactly what you were "talking" about when they talk around their children or have magazines or books--especially the ones with pics:(--that denigrate ourselves by putting something that should be Very Private out there for them to see, at too young an age!
I had three Foster Children--Brothers who noone would take without splitting them up!--& the older one, then about 11 got on my computer one evening while I was making supper. He was looking up something for a project in Health in school, & up popped an XXX site! There were all kinds of things on it that made me sick, but he was curious & so were his brothers, then 8 & 9 years old. I didn't find out until the next day when I dropped down my search menu & found it! I did explain to them why this was disgusting stuff & why. I actually won over two out of three of them! One is getting married this October & the eldest, who is not 27 is in a great relationship & their Partners tell me that they are Very Respectful of them in every way!!
I guess what I'm saying is, once children get to be about 2 1/2--believe it or not!!--we must be very careful what we say around them! They absorb everything from that age on; & will not only repeat it at the worst possible moment, but will be affected by it in many ways! They need our guidance, not just a few hours a day, but every day, all day! Even when they think they're too old! (Recently, my nephew called me up & was so upset. Some friend of his 13 year old daughter had a friend who responded to one of her posts by saying "I have some candy for you! It's a squishy thing in my pocket!" She didn't even know what he was talking about. Needless to say, since her Mom was looking out for her, & I emailed my Niece, & we all got on a conference call...chuckle!..she is now more vigilant of the "Friends" she has on her Facebook! And that wasn't even a hacker!!! Scary stuff, Ladies!)
So, what I'm trying to say, here, is that there are many ways in our "Modern World" that our children can get burned badly & it can be us that can unwittingly be the source!
God Bless...Dodie/Nana

Aleks - posted on 06/17/2011

546

0

46

Loureen, I don't believe that I was inviting you to the "pity party", however, this is a debate and I was expressing my view. Like the view or not. I am entitled to it. And given this is an open forum .................. I think I don't have to state the obvious for you.

As for the lost childhood - yeah, by some of the inappropriate things that I may have been exposed to did not certainly totally rob me of the entire childhood, but certainly put some tarnishes on it. And I did suffer sometimes big, sometimes small because of it. Sometimes it appeared that it did not affect me at all, until later when I was an adult.

However, the biggest thing I am trying to convey to you and others is to not get lulled into a false sense of security thinking that you (plural) know your child/ren and how they may react to certain materials. I want to warn people that they CANNOT predict how, exposure to adult content, will affect (or not) their children.

And in any case the following study should make my warnings I wish to convey (ie, you just don't ever know how exposure to adult content affects childrens mind, psychy and emotions) a little bit more, for a lack of a better word, real: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/201...

Excert from the linked article: "Other research suggests that children who see R-rated movies become more prone to "sensation seeking" and risk taking. "We think seeing the adult content actually changes their personality," Sargent said."



(jokingly) Hmmmm..... could it be all the horror you watched as a child is why you like public sex Loureen

:- P (as alluded to in a prior post on this very debate)

Stifler's - posted on 06/15/2011

15,141

154

597

I found the Hangover bloody hilarious and NO I would for sure NOT let my kids come to the cinema to see it or watch it with them unless they were old enough but I don't think them seeing it is the worst thing in the world or that it will take away their entire childhood :S

Charlie - posted on 06/15/2011

11,203

111

401

Aleksandra that is a big assumption you make ......based on your biased view , for some yes ...for others ? not so much .



It is pretty ignorant to assume what happened to you should be used as a bases to use blanket statements ...I watched Horror ...I also played with dolls , no childhood lost in fact I would say I still enjoy childhood through my years as a early childhood educator and my own children who enjoy play based learning at home.



Be sad for your own lost childhood ? sure but please spare me the the pity party for everyone else who's parents made a decision based on their individual child and their capabilities and enjoyed every bit of their childhood.



Anyway like

I said a long time ago would I take them to the movies at that age to watch it ? No , most likely not .

Will my 9 - 10 year old boys watch the movies I like ? well that isnt up to me , I am interested in them finding their own interests and like someone else mentioned , no one here knows if this mother used the opportunity to discuss sex and drugs as an educational opportunity or if it was just a night out.

Aleks - posted on 06/15/2011

546

0

46

I find it so very sad how many parents are robbing their children of their innocent childhoods. Because that is what exposing them to adult content and material does. And yeah, like Noelle said, those kids then go on to rob other kids of their childhoods because of it! By spreading their (still ignorant) knowledge in the playground, tarnishing the young and very impressionable minds of other kids! :-(
It happened to me, when I wasn't really ready, and its bound to continue to happen to other kids.
Like I said - SAD.

Noelle - posted on 06/14/2011

46

20

6

Yeah, and then people say, well they're exposed to all of this stuff in school anyways...It's BECAUSE parents are allowing their kids to be exposed to it elsewhere! Vicious cycle..

[deleted account]

I used to work at Blockbuster and I saw a lot of what you're talking about Noelle. Parents sometimes are so careless about what they let their kids watch! I remember this one kid, probably around 9 or 10 years old, came to the counter to rent the Playboy video game. I told him, "Sorry sweetie, I can't rent this to you. You're too young." He walked away and came back through line maybe 10 minutes later with his mom. She let him rent the game, despite me telling her, "You know this is PLAYBOY right? As in, the goal of the game is to get the women naked. Hugh Hefner, Playboy." She really didn't mind. I had to rent it to her, and knowing some kid that age was gonna be the one playing it made me ill.

Noelle - posted on 06/14/2011

46

20

6

No you are not the only person who thinks that is wrong!! We own a small town movie theater, and I'm astonished at what people bring their young children to. Unfortunately parents just have to be in attendance of children in rated R movies... All we can do is say ...."Are you really here for Hangover 2? You're aware it's rated R?"

Nicky - posted on 06/14/2011

142

28

4

well considering the only reason i know what a shemale is would be due to TV and media, and then it would have been when i was in my late teens at LEAST, i think its pretty terrible that she took her small children to this movie.

I watched jaws, terminator and Rambo when I was about 9 or 10, scared the living sheesh out of me and i still can't go swimming in the sea confidently LOL, BUT I was with my older siblings who i could hide behind in the scary bits, and i think that those movies although intended for an older audience were fine, those movies werent exactly drug fuelled weekends of sex and debauchery...... what a big no no, that woman should be ashamed

Charlie - posted on 06/14/2011

11,203

111

401

Haha oh thanks for the morning laughs unfourtunately it wasnt your attempt at a joke that made me laugh

( although I can see how a young child might find that funny )it was the $2 store psychoanalysis however you could not be more off base , this often happens when you make assertions about people you do not know or have an understanding of .



Hun , I made joke , one everyone got except you , I have never seen anyone so offended over a little sexual humor .......Dodie if that upsets you , you are REALLY not going to like some of the other things we discuss in here , we are all honest ladies who are open about our sexuality , sex is good , fun , natural and conversation of it is nothing to be ashamed of or hidden amongst friends and adults in fact talking about it opens discussion to women in these forums and while I was joking ( kinda ;)

there are times where we discuss sex in detail , seriously , by talking about our issues, we often see things more clearly and feel more supported or we get new ideas to try in the bedroom !



Perhaps you should get to know the environment and it's members ( and what we as a community are comfortable discussing ) before trying to "understand" us all and setting the rules according to your comforts .



There is a lot to be said for someone who finds their buisness is to psychoanalyse people without really knowing them isn't there , thank you for your input "nana" Dodie .





And thank you ladies for the support , these are the ladies who do know me very well !



Now back to the OP :D

Krista - posted on 06/14/2011

12,562

16

842

Yep. Getting back to the OP, no of course it's not appropriate to take a kid to see that movie. Anybody who does is seriously lacking in common sense.

And yeah, I'll echo the others, Dodie. You're new here, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but DM is a bit freewheeling, and most of us know each other fairly well. So when new to the group, I can see how you might be taken aback at some of the commentary made here.

However, Loureen has been in this group for a very long time, and we all have a pretty good feel for what is appropriate and what is not within this group. So it's not really becoming for you to join a group and immediately start demanding that the long-term members start conforming to YOUR idea of appropriate behaviour.

If you don't find ribald humour funny, that's totally your prerogative. But being a scold is not really the best first impression to give to people, is it?

Kate CP - posted on 06/14/2011

8,942

36

754

Oh, and no I wouldn't take a kid to see The Hangover 2. Or the Hangover. I don't think they're appropriate for children. I also didn't think they looked that entertaining for adults, either. But that's just me.

Kate CP - posted on 06/14/2011

8,942

36

754

"...What do you call an invisible carrot that you can smell?
A Bunny Fart!!
Now that's funny!!"

No, that's stupid. Unless you're like 5 years old. My five year old would think that's hilarious. And my grandmother. But she's dead.

Pull the stick out, Nana. Sex is fun and it can be funny.

Kylie - posted on 06/14/2011

2,391

81

190

Nana, you don't know Loureen like many of us do. We all know she is hilarious and well intentioned. This group is not debating prudes.

[deleted account]

Dodie, I mean no disrespect here but I have to step up for Loureen. I've known Loureen for several years, as have many of us who have been on this debate / discussion forum since the begining. If you knew anything about her, you'd know that she is one of the best mothers out there, very intelligent and kind and an all around fantastic human being. I personally take offense to your judgement of her. And so what if she likes having sex in public places??? That has no bearing on her as a person or as a mother. And on this forum, we DO sometimes discuss things like that. So please, before you go slinging judgements around on a site that you are obviously new to, maybe you should test the waters first and then maybe you'd realize that here, we sometimes use humor to difuse a situation. Hell, sometimes we use humor just because.



And to answer the OP. No, I wouldn't take my son to see the Hangover 2 and I probably wouldn't feel comfortable watching it myself if there were small children in my immediate vicinity. But at the same time, I can't deny that my son has probably seen things on tv that he shouldn't have. It happens.

Dodie - posted on 06/14/2011

68

15

2

OK Jodi. First let me respond to the "judgemental" aspect of your objection. I think it would be up to Loureen to defend against my reply. Also, I don't think this is the proper forum for this type of discussion.
Now as to my having no sense of humour? Well, I've always been the advocate for the appropriateness of the joke to the situation. Here we have a Mother who is looking for back-up on her opinion of Parents who expose their young children to pornographic films. After having reread Katie's original posting, I still do not see anywhere in it that she requested information on anyone's sexual appetites. So, I still hold that the "humour" you saw in Laureen's posting was best placed in another venue.
I have a great sense of humour, according to my Family Member, Friends & Co-workers. In fact, here is a joke my Daughter--mother of my two terrific Grandchildren--told me the other day that we laughed very hard at:
What do you call an invisible carrot that you can smell?
A Bunny Fart!!
Now that's funny!! However, no matter how many people complain--as yet, only one--about the fact that I saw no humour in someone posting their sexual appetites here in a forum for Mom's with child-related problems or cunnundrums, distasteful at best & unexceptable at worst.
Sincerely
Dodie/Nana

Jodi - posted on 06/14/2011

26,473

36

3891

Not that I have an issue with you having an opinion Dodie, but analysing someone from afar and imposing your opinion on them as a person is kind of......judgemental.

Dodie - posted on 06/14/2011

68

15

2

Hi Loureen:
Well, I'm sure that many of the people who are members of Circle of Moms are not particularly interested in where, when, how or with whom you are having sex. More to the point, we were not talking about adults & their sexual practices here. The Woman who put up the original post wanted to know what others thought of bringing a child to an A rated movie like "Hangover 2". So, this was about the relationship between Mothers & their children.
It sounds to me like you may have a little bit of a "Hangover" yourself. Perhaps you really aren't as much in favour of sex in public places as you let on. In my practice, it has been my experience that when someone makes a remark that has little or nothing to do with the content of the discussion, it is because they are having doubts about their own behavior.
Perhaps it may be a good idea for you to think about what you are doing & why you would post something in the Circle of MOMS that should have been on another type of website Group that deals with Adult Behaviors, rather than with Familial relationships...
Respectfully yours...Dodie/Nana

Charlie - posted on 06/14/2011

11,203

111

401

You know what is fun ? sex in public places haha well there ya go .....Im an alley cat !

Krista - posted on 06/14/2011

12,562

16

842

Yeah, jeez...why can't sex be respectful and loving, within a committed relationship, AND fun?

If it's not fun, you're not doing it right, I say.

Charlie - posted on 06/14/2011

11,203

111

401

"What she was really teaching her children was that:
a. Sex is something that is fun, & the the Human Body is not something to be respected but to be used & abused & laughed at in the end.
b. Sex is something public. It does not have to be practised within the confines of a loving, respectful, caring relationship. That Humans are no better than a bunch of alley cats "gettin' it on" for everyone to see."


Wait sex isnt meant to be fun ????

Jot that one down in the notebook I will be sure to make it as BORING as possible later on 0_O

Dodie - posted on 06/14/2011

68

15

2

I still can't believe that any Mother would want to watch sex scenes on the "Silver Screen", or any other screen for that matter! Here is an example of what can happen when a child who is too young to REALLY UNDERSTAND what's happening:
My sister--& I have heard this same happening from other women & me--witnessed my parents having sex when she was nine. She was sure our Father was hurting our Mother. So, even when she had sex explained to her, she still took years to cull the memory from her mind. She was the oldest of seven children & probably knew more than she realized. However, let me tell you something. No matter what a child may "know" because it has been explained to them; actually "seeing" is a whole different kettle of fish!
So, no, something like the movie "Hangover", 1, 2 or 3, is not appropriate for a young child, no matter what this mother was trying to teach them. What she was really teaching her children was that:
a. Sex is something that is fun, & the the Human Body is not something to be respected but to be used & abused & laughed at in the end.
b. Sex is something public. It does not have to be practised within the confines of a loving, respectful, caring relationship. That Humans are no better than a bunch of alley cats "gettin' it on" for everyone to see.
So, if that is what you want your children to learn, Holly--or anyone else, for that matter--then, by all means, bring your young children to see "Hangover". or any other movie that is sexually explicit. In fact, why not just go down to your local Blockbuster, or wherever, & rent Porn!? It's a lot cheaper than taking them to the movies.
However, in my never-to-be-humble opinion, sex is an act of procreation first, & should be entered into with a partner you love & respect, not just some guy/gal you've just picked up in a bar!...
Dodie/Nana

Holly - posted on 06/13/2011

281

16

4

Perhaps she has discussed the difference between reality and fiction with her children? Not everyone sees sex as horrible and taboo. Some parents discuss it with their children and are quite open about it. If my 14, 11, 9, 7 and on down year old children saw sex they wouldn't get all embarrassed, red in the face, giggle like infants and be all "oh noes.. what's that momma??" they get it. Sex is so not as big a deal as people make it out to be. I mean.. honestly.. as for the cocaine and drinking.. it's a fact of life. Some people make bad choices. Did she use this as an opportunity to talk to her children about the bad things that happen when you choose to use drugs and drink? Foul language.. I get so tickled when people are worried about foul language. Really... I was walking through Kmart a few months ago and an EMPLOYEE walked by cursing like a sailor. One mom got all bent out of shape, called the manager and asked that the woman be fired. Can she do that when she is walking down the street, through the mall or sitting in a restaurant and the patron near her is using the same language? Our children know what words are and are not appropriate. I personally do not flip out at the occasional words that I would get in trouble for typing here ironically. But let my kids use the word "Stupid", "Dumb", "Bad" or "Shut up" and I will be all over them like flies on doo doo. THOSE words are bad words in OUR home...

I don't think I would deliberately take my children to see that movie but the truth is that they see that kind of stuff every day on tv, on the streets, etc. When it comes out on tv I am sure it will eventually come across our screen at one point or another.. no biggie.. we talk about all that stuff in our family. We are a VERY open family.

Elisabeth - posted on 06/11/2011

47

21

3

I don't know when things changed?

Why can't parents allow their children to have a childhood and remain young, innocent and carefree for as long as they can?

Like a lot of others, I don't censor a hell of a lot at home but there is no way kids should be taken to a movie like that.

And how (as an adult) could they enjoy and feel comfortable watching a movie like that with their young kids beside them???

Charlie - posted on 06/11/2011

11,203

111

401

LMAO ....so Dramatic...seriously some of you should write movies !

Mrs. - posted on 06/11/2011

1,767

6

30

Wow, one of the first movies I remember seeing in the theatre was The Terminator. Seriously.

My parents had no money when I was little, no family support so they just brought us along. Honestly, I don't find I'm scarred from it. Maybe a bit desensitized to the whole movie horror action thing...I don't scare easily in movies and it has to be a really good action film to pull me in.

Do I think she's a bad parent, nope. I just think she might be poor.

Dodie - posted on 06/11/2011

68

15

2

True that all children are not affected in the same way by the same movie, or whatever. However, isn't it much better to let your child grow up with innocense in tact? Why does a child who is not even prepubescent be taken to a theatre, or put in front of the TV to watch a movie that, even to some adults, shows great disrespect for human dignity? Why is it that so many people find that kind of thing funny? It is degrading to all aspects of human life that should be held in the highest regard.
Now, don't get me wrong! I always answered my children's questions about anything simply & straight to the point. I did not give them any more details than they could handle at any given age. When my 5 year old asked me where babies came from, I just smiled & told her they come from God. She was quite satisfied with that answer at 5. At 12, we got into more detail, though:)
Is each child unique? Of course s/he is! Do we know before exposure what reaction we will get from any individual child? Of course not! So, why bother to expose a child who cannot possibly understand sex, drugs & violence have it pushed in his/her face? They don't get to make choices for themselves as children. It is up to us, as their parents & protectors, to use responsible judgement in what our children are exposed to. So, to allow a child who cannot understand the basics of how human life comes about to be opened up to watching sex on a TV or a silver screen is wrong! Unless you believe we are nothing more than the dogs you see compulating in the street, how can we expect our children to grow up to believe that they are worthy of respect & dignity, when they are raised on violent sex, general violence, & disgusting displays of other humans rutting at will?
Too drastic? Well, don't be surprised when your preteen shows up pregnant, addicted to drugs or picked up by the police for violent behavior! And don't think it can't happen to your children.
So, teach your children dignity in their daily lives & respect for themselves & others.
So, no, Katie, you are not the only one who thinks it is wrong! I'm with you all the way...
Nana

Aleks - posted on 06/10/2011

546

0

46

P.S.
I have a friend who does that - she let her then 7 yo daughter watch (mild) horror movies because she herself liked them!!!!!!! I bet she did it cause she wanted to watch a film with her then boyfriend and the kid was around.... too hard to wait or obstain (but that is another story, though I am sure quite applicable to the topic of taking kids to see inappropriate movies at the cinemas).

Aleks - posted on 06/10/2011

546

0

46

Loureen Kelly I agree with Jenn Morris, except that goes for all sorts of adult content things and not just horror.

So for me it was one thing, but for another child it could be another thing and you will not know, nor you do know what that thing is.

You also don't know how seeing that stuff that I did has affected me because I have not told you so... it may be not how you think it has.... I gather that you are assuming something else (from what I gather you have written - lol).



What if your (speaking generally to everyone now) child has a greater propensity to violence.... now, you do not know that as there may not have been any outward signs for that (nothing unusual for their young age)... and somehow, because you are watching an adult film, s/he (even though playing toys near where you are watching - btw, just cos that is happening doesn't mean they don't hear or at time see what is happening on the screen, pls don't fool yourselves) sees the violence in the adult film gets drawn to it. It doesn't necessarily mean they will immediately start acting on it, ie coping the violence in play... they may just started an interest that may keep growing slowly.......or fast, .......or other such matters..., I don't know.... I am just hypothesising.

We never really know how much has or has not sunk in, how much has struck a chord, or put fear into the child ( I hid my fear a lot of the times, so much so infact, that when I tell me parents now what I was absolutelly terrified of so much of as a 5,6,7 year old, even as a 11-12 year old they lifted their eyebrows out of surprise. And no I did not suffer nightmares either, though I guess I lived through them in silence during the day time).

I guess what I am trying to say is to all you parents out there who "don't censor much at home", don't be fooled. Be careful, you don't know everything about your child or the signs it gives or doesn't give about the effects of things viewed on tv/computer-internet/video games etc. Sometimes things are not obvious. Don't expose you kids to adult materials not if you can help it.

Also, how do you know that what you are teaching your child, through watching those adult films in front of them, is that "that" stuff is ok in life (like sexual degradation, gratituatous (sorry spelling) violence, drugs and alcohol abuse, foul language, etc.) I mean, you are watching it, then it must be ok.



I know some of you have mentioned that either yourself or your child/ren showed interest in horror.... there are child appropriate "horror" genre available - just read most of the "fairy tales" lol, but in all seriousness, there is that kind of thing out there - child centered. There is no need to let a child watch a horror flick made for adults that also has all sorts of adult content included.



So yeah.... this is my opinion and point of view on this.....

Charlie - posted on 06/10/2011

11,203

111

401

Has anyone actually said they will let their kids watch horror because they did ?

It isnt up to me to decide what they are interested in , just because I like horror doesnt mean my boys will , I grew up devouring Goosebump books , my parents knew I had a love fo that genre and that I knew that the books and movies were fictional , they knew I didnt scare easily ...The first time we watched a horror movie was middle of the day and I was allowed to turn it off at any time .....suffice to say I loved it ; I can't speak for my kids and I don't plan on pushing my interests on them.

If my child shows interest I am going to have to asses their ability to handle it , their maturity and their knowledge on it before considering letting them watch anythying , I am not going to throw my children into horror if all they have ever known or loved is say ...motorbikes.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms