and once again..im shocked

Suzette - posted on 05/03/2010

Emma, I agree with you on sex education and a child noticing another child has different "parts" than they do. I also agree that taking responsibility is the right thing to do. Especially with not dropping out of school, doing their fair share, changing diapers, getting a part time job, etc.



Celia, I agree that sex education is important, noticing the opposite sex, etc. I also wouldn't want the other to have an abortion (whether it's my daughter or if I have a son, their gf.). I would much rather help in the raising or take custody myself.



@ Christin:

"mentally kids arent ready. especially a teenage boy, they are more into hot wheels and being an immuchure kid."

This is not the truth for all boys. My brother was 15 yrs old when his 17 yr old gf got pregnant. They used protection, a condom, and it broke. They moved in with my parents, and my niece was born when he was 16 and she was 18. Until my brother passed away he was a great father. (My niece was 6 when he died.) They split when she was about 3 yrs old (or a little before - my memory isn't that great). The point is that he worked his butt off, stayed in high school, graduated, and he took care of her and the girlfriend as well. The girlfriend went to high school, graduated, and afterward she got a job, and went to college part time. She's now working in a good field, she has a brand new home, and she's still taking care of my niece very well. I'm not going to make this a younger person v. older person thing, I don't think that's right either. But I will say that it all depends on how the person was raised as to what their maturity level is. Some people are well mature before their age, others aren't. There are those who don't reach maturity until well into their 30's too, it's all dependent on the individual. As far as health concerns, while I don't support children having children, there's a lot of people who have health concerns regardless of age.

Celia - posted on 05/03/2010

I will be educating my son about sex and how to protect himself and his girlfriend as soon as he even thinks about the opposite sex (or the same sex depending...) But what scares me the most is finding out that the girl he had sex with is pregnant and then finding out she had an abortion... I know that sounds crazy but I'd much rather raise my potential grandchild than live with the pain of finding out the pregnancy was terminated. I know its totally beyond my control but its how I feel... as the mother of a son it would be hard to see him go through that too depending on how he felt.
Still hoping that he protects himself by useing his brain and slapping on a condom so I dont have a teenager and a grandbaby!!

Emma - posted on 05/03/2010

Well My Daughter and son are only toddlers right now but my daughter is of the age where she wants to know why her brother has a penis and she dose not,
im starting now is Age appropriate differences she knows the basic's of where babies come from as she asked how her brother got in my tummy so i told her daddy put him in there and that she used to live in my tummy too and showed her the pics of my growing tummy when i had her, i think you start the open lines of communication from day one, no question is off limits.
I would feel disappointed if my daughter came home pregnant as a teen, but would support her and make sure she knew all her options.
If my son got a girl pregnant, i would make him take responsibility, not by dropping out of school but doing his fair share, he would be changing nappies and be at every scan and the birth, getting a part time job to help support the baby.

Emily - posted on 04/11/2010

was watching tv and you hear so many girls almost die delivering bc of their age.

quote by you; clearly you watch the media and have drawn assumptions from tv, even if only by one tv show.

yes, this post is about young mums, it was about sex education actually, until you made this comment that rubbed me the wrong way.."ya babies are cute until you have that load of responsibility and their parents end up raising the kid so ya why isnt it easy? they dont do anything"

so, i brought older mothers into the debate to show that there are positives and negatives to being a mum at any age.

Christin - posted on 04/11/2010

they are old enough to decide, ya theres risks but thats a choice they now they can make. and its not about older moms anyways its about younger ones. and who really cares i spelled a word wrong? big whoop. and the post is about teens basically, so what you are saying about older moms is irrelevant. i know alot of unfit moms, mine being one. but thats not what this is about.

and apparently in this group im the only one not brainwashed by media sorry, i dont watch media. i go by LIFE FACTS. when this post is about younger teen moms then why bring in adults?

so if you want to support young kids having kids go ahead. more power to you.

Emily - posted on 04/10/2010

mentally kids arent ready. especially a teenage boy, they are more into hot wheels and being an immuchure kid. girls bodys physically are not ready until 18. yes they go thru the change around 12 but they are not ready until 18. thats when the reproductive system is totally done. and the late bloomers who dont hit the change until 16 are not ready for a baby until at least 19-20. i was watching tv and you hear so many girls almost die delivering bc of their age. when i was in the hospital having ours i was 21. each time i was the oldest. every kid in there had complications or was in preterm labor. one kid was going into labor at 15 weeks, i have no idea if her baby even made it bc it wasnt near mature enough and she had to be flown to another hospital 2 hours away.

love doesnt put formula in bottles,love doesnt put a roof over your babys head,love doesnt get their medical needs met,and love does not put clothes on them


ok, for a start, before you start calling people "immature" please be sure you have spelt the word correctly. thanks.

Also, when i talk about young mums, i am not talking about 12 year olds. While i know there are mums out there who had their kids at that age, i know that is too much.

But now i see you are bringing the mothers and childs well-being into this debate. What do you have to say about 45-50 year olds having children? The risk of complications there, to BOTH mother and child is just as, if not more prevalent; especially to the baby. Why are amniocentesis COMPULSORY for older women but not for younger?
And yes i am aware that "love does not put a roof over a babies head" but as Tah has explained, she managed to do it on her own, and i know many other mothers, including myself who have managed. Alot of girls on welfare alone, budget budget budget! Now, i live in australia, so our welfare entitlements are most probably very different to those in america.

Alot of adults are not ready for kids either. How many older mothers do you see calling in nannies even though they dont even work? Does that show they are mentally ready for children??

As for my post implying an us V them mentality, as i have repeatedly stated, there are both positives and negatives for having children at any age. I dont believe there is a "right age" for the whole population. It is a very personal thing and hinges on ones personal circumstances. Some young mothers should have waited, some older mothers should have had children younger. Some are never ready. Going around telling people they are not worthy of being mothers because they belong to a certain group is wrong. Especially when you are basing your case on what the media is spitting out at you. Im sorry, but the media is bias. They show you what is going to bring in the ratings. And people generally will watch more negative things than positive things.

The reason i "get on my high horse" in regards to young mothers is that i believe they cop a hell of alot unwarranted flack. And its not right. We never see debates about older mothers not being fit, its ALWAYS about younger mothers. nobody seems to take the time to recognize the good they are doing and just put them into the stereotypical young mum mold. It absoloutly infuriates me when i know SO many young mums who are so fantastic with their children depite some pretty heavy stuff they are going through in their own personal lives. They never let any of it interfere with their relationships with their children, and yet there are still those who insist they are "not mentally ready" and "cannot make a good parent as far as meeting their childrens needs"

Rosie - posted on 04/10/2010

i think the problem is people aren't making their kids feel comfortable about talking about sex. not just having sex, but condoms, pills, and emotions that are involved. i really hope my kids feel comfortable talking to me about sex, and soon it will be starting for me (my oldest just turned 10). i'll be talking to him when he's 11, i think. i think that goes for anything. i want my kids to be able to talk to me about any choice they make in life.

if my boys ended up knocking someone up, i know i would bend heaven and earth to make them realize they need to take care of that baby. my father left, my oldest boy's father left, my husbands father left, and i refuse to have anymore children in this family whose father left them. if they aren't old enough to get a job, i'll help until they are 16, but after that, they're getting a job and finishing school. and then when they are done with school, they will be out. i hope my boys would be like us with hard work, and family ethics.

Tah - posted on 04/09/2010

i was a month and 4 days past 16 when i had my son, we used a condom and since we were both virgins, we see how that turned out. I got a job 4 months later and have been working ever since. Along with school, so the education and jobs changed with it, but the not fact that i worked, i worked sometimes 2-3 jobs at once and had to pay my parents a rent of sorts every 2 weeks, like renting a room almost (except i slept on the couch bed with my son) that little money is alot when your making 5.50 a hour and having to by formula, pampers, clothes, food, bus fare, going to high school to finish at 17, and giving mama money. The dad has always been there physically but his financially leaves alot to be desired. (he is a paramedic but somehow cant keep a job..go figure 15,000 in arrears)

I tried for welfare but with my parents income(if you live with them and are a minor, then they use this) looked like they had way more than they did with bills from over 7 children living with them and moving out and in and out and in...so i was denied. at 18 we moved out and i am blessed that i have not had to move back home since then. My parents were not the ones to watch your baby while you did the hunpty dance at club hoochie and hunks. I lost friends but i learned responsibility. I developed pre-eclampsia which the first doctor missed because she wrote my headaches and almost 100lb weight gain as me eating too much even though i told her i was too sick to eat, she was always biased because of my age, she acted like i was a little slut who got caught up, not the case, little smart remarks, things like that, she went on vacation and the replacement doctor looked at me, listened to me and put me on a 24 hour urine, there was so much protein he almost didnt let me go get my bags, i was induced and in labor for 2 days and even though i was a dancer and ran track managed to sprain my hip in labor(hence the 4 month clear to go to work). So yes it is dangerous,

Now my son's father went to every appt and was there for labor, but you dont get a parade for doing what you should do. his baby, you need to be here. I can't imagine what a 12-15 year old would do they cant even work, you are right. It gets crazy and hectic and expensive and it is going to take a village to raise them.

Christin - posted on 04/08/2010

mentally kids arent ready. especially a teenage boy, they are more into hot wheels and being an immuchure kid. girls bodys physically are not ready until 18. yes they go thru the change around 12 but they are not ready until 18. thats when the reproductive system is totally done. and the late bloomers who dont hit the change until 16 are not ready for a baby until at least 19-20. i was watching tv and you hear so many girls almost die delivering bc of their age. when i was in the hospital having ours i was 21. each time i was the oldest. every kid in there had complications or was in preterm labor. one kid was going into labor at 15 weeks, i have no idea if her baby even made it bc it wasnt near mature enough and she had to be flown to another hospital 2 hours away.



love doesnt put formula in bottles,love doesnt put a roof over your babys head,love doesnt get their medical needs met,and love does not put clothes on them

Christin - posted on 04/08/2010

no they dont but its welfare and they get money. how does a 12 year old buy diapers? how do they buy formula? they arent old enough for assistance. so they can be there but how do they buy stuff? they cant meet the babys needs with just love alone. they baby needs things like food. besides a teen can die giving birth. their bodies arent even near ready for child birth at 16 let alone younger. it can kill a kid. kids dont get that.

so again a 12-16 year old can not make a good parent as far as meeting the childs needs. yes there are adults who are on welfare but they can get a job they can support a kid need be. a kid cant.

Charlie - posted on 04/08/2010

Yeah we know not all young mums are write offs just like a lot of older mums aren't on welfare , sorry but your asking not to be judged and yet your sitting there judging older mums , your post implies an us V them mentality .

No its not about giving your child the latest toy , but food COSTS MONEY , electricity to keep them warm COSTS MONEY , shelter COSTS MONEY they are three basic necessities , of course love is free but a child cant survive on love alone .

Its not a competition between older mums and younger mums , this debate is about sex education for young teens girls NOT women but once again its become the young V older , there are great mums and there are shit mums in every age bracket statistically and scientifically younger mums ( young teens ) have less chance and opportunity , without the right support their kids are worse off , that's NOT all teen parents but the odds are stacked against them , it is our responsibility as parents to give our kids the right education and support to allow them to grow as children first .

I think you've missed the whole point of the thread - sex education .

Emily - posted on 04/08/2010

im not saying its "peaches and cream". its not "peaches and cream" for any mother either. im just trying to get my point across that not all young mums are writes offs.

Charlie - posted on 04/08/2010

I am glad that the young palin girl stepped up and told the truth about having babies young instead of glamorizing it , good for her .



It takes a strong woman to be a good `mother but it takes a stronger teen to admit when its not all peaches and cream .

Emily - posted on 04/08/2010

alot of older mums dont have jobs either. they live on welfare. Now the young mums i know living on welfare are also studying so that can get a good career.ive never met an older mother on welfare who is studying. not saying there not out there, but im yet to meet one.

And raising a child isnt just about supporting a child financially. Its about BEING THERE for your child. its supporting and nurturing them, not buying the latest toy.

As i said, there are positive and negative points about being both a young mum and an older mum, you need to stop judging the merit of a mother on her age.

Christin - posted on 04/08/2010

no minor can get a job to support a baby. how do 12-15 year olds raise a baby living with mommy and daddy with no job? they dont.

Emily - posted on 04/08/2010

ya babies are cute until you have that load of responsibility and their parents end up raising the kid so ya why isnt it easy? they dont do anything

So your basically saying that EVERY teenage mother just palms their children off to their parents.

Sorry, but that is TOTALLY WRONG!!!! yes some young mothers do, but so do some older mothers.

people need to STOP judging how good of a parent someone is based on their age. I do know some bad young mums, but i also know about 20 more who could give some older mothers a run for their money! There are pros and cons of being a young mum, just as there are pros and cons of being an older mother.

Christin - posted on 04/07/2010

when i was in school we were shown nasty pictures of std's so that made no one want to have sex, but i was in a private school. in a public school i went to it basically told us early on in middle school its ok to have sex just use protection. no wonder kids are pregnant or sleeping around. kids use the excuse their friends are doing it or they are cute, ya babies are cute until you have that load of responsibility and their parents end up raising the kid so ya why isnt it easy? they dont do anything. i cant have birth control but we do now use protection. our daughter will be on birth control and she will know we dont approve of her doing it but if she does she needs to come to us or my husbands mom and we will get her put on birth control.

then you get the kids who use the excuse no one ever told me. well i mean really if your old enough to have sex i know they know how to make a baby. theres NO excuse. i never had the talk either and i was smart enough to know. if our daughter gets pregnant she will raise that baby and get her own place.

i think schools need to start not condoning it but rather telling them the TRUTH about stuff. they just sugarcoat things or dont tell them everything.

?? - posted on 04/07/2010

I'd rather my son learn from me than someone else who doesn't know what they're talking about. He'll learn age appropriately and he'll know that I will support him, but I won't do it for him. I will support him taking responsibility for his actions -- because I will give him the information he needs to make the right decision for himself -- so if he chooses to act with the information he has and he gets into a situation where his actions are rewarded or have consiquences, he will only have himself to be held accountable for his actions.

But that will go for anything in his life. Whether it's in school, in relationships, on the playground or behind the bleachers... he will have the information, it will be up to him to use it and he will have EVERY opportunity to ask questions, and I will never let him feel afraid to talk to me.

That's how I plan on raising him anyways, he's only 17 months old though so I'm not too worried about him knockin up a bitch just yet.


On another note though, if the girl isn't on the same page, I will do what I have to do in order to help my son do whatever needs to be done. And if my son decides he doesn't want to be a man about it, he will also have to accept responsibility for those actions and I will still be there for the girl.

Tah - posted on 04/07/2010

i agree with you on this one, yes, i am talking to my 13 year old about everything that goes with sex, but i am encouraging him to be abstinent, i started a post a little while ago about letting your childrens gf/bf spend the night or stay with them, and my stance on that is i am not going to agree to it just because "if they want to have sex, at least they aren't in a park or sneaking around". I just don't think i need to provide the place for them to do it when i don't agree with it and by the way have a snack and some water to power up for round 2. I think they can make the right decisions. I pray for my children daily, does it mean they will wait, no, but i pray that they are kept safe and they will make good decisions.

Jessica - posted on 04/07/2010

Cathy, I agree with what you are saying. I just think that abstinence has been put on the back burner in most sex education because we assume that all teenagers are so run by their hormones that they can't be trusted to make intelligent decisions. Putting a condom on is a much easier decision than to say no. Less kids have sex because they "want" to and more because it's the "thing" to do.

I agree that teaching them about all aspects of sex, physical and emotional, is necessary and very important but I want my children to have such a mind of their own that they know for absolute sure that they are ready to have sex and to deal with all the consequences that go with it. Honestly as an adult dealing with all of those emotions can be overwhelming so why woulnd't I try to keep my kids as innocent as possible for as long as possible. I'm not naive I know that if I don't teach them they'll find out from their friends and that isn't what I want, so I will talk to them but not right now.

Cathy - posted on 04/07/2010

ONLY teaching your child abstinence is a bit of a joke. Encourage it, absolutely, but they still need to be properly educated on the dangers of unprotected sex, both physical and emotional.

Jessica - posted on 04/07/2010

My children are 8 and under and they know very little about sex. They know about the differences in girls and boys bodies, they know where babies come from and have actually attended a couple births and they know that daddy helped make the baby. That's it and honestly that's all they need to know right now. No child under age 10 should have to deal with such an adult issue. I also believe that saying that teaching abstinence is a joke is a cop out. It gives our kids an out and it says that they aren't intelligent enough to overcome their hormones and use their heads. I didn't have sex until I was 19 and it was a decision I made not just a feeling I followed.

That being said, if my daughter came home pregnant I would be disappointed but I would get over it and support the very best I could.

Louise - posted on 04/07/2010

As a mother of two teenage sons I have told them both that there is no excuse in this day and age for unwanted pregnancies. I have made it quite clear that it is there responsibility to protect themselves as well as the girls and not leave contraception to the girl. I would be stunned if they announced they are going to be fathers. I would be absolutely gutted but I would not let them walk away from the situation. If the girl decided to have the baby I would make them step up and make sure they were doing there bit. I have done all that I can to insure they know what is what all I can do now is trust them.

Emily - posted on 03/29/2010

well im a "teenage mum" i had my son the day after my 18th birthday.. actually went into labor on my 18th.. lol lucky me. My sons father isnt around, i lived with him up until i was 2 weeks due. then he left for someone else. hes was 25.

My mother never talked to me about anything. although i did know all about protection etc, was actually on the pill when i did fall pregnant. she fell apart when she found out, but about 2 hours later she was force feeding me vegies telling me we needed it. lol. shes now the best oma ever. I wouldnt be where i am know (studying at cert. 4 level and going to uni next year) without her love and support. Even though i couldnt live with her, i know shes always there if i need her.

To those who say they would "push" or "encourage" their teenage daughters to get an abortion, please dont. It is an entirely personal decision. I told my mum from the get go there was NO WAY i was getting rid of my child, and she accepted that. My sister whoever, didnt and was looking up places where i could get abortions from, needless to say, our relationship isnt great.

Now im not saying to just ignore the situation, lay out the facts. let them know what they are up for, but do your research too. Not every young mum is a drop kick no hoper who is going no-where in life. These days, its simply not true. to be honest, Ive already gained a higher education than alot of my friends, my age and older.

So please dont "push" or "encourage" your daughters to get an abortion. Do you research, look at what programs are on offer for young mums and what support there, but be sure to tell them how bloody hard it is as well!.. in my eyes its worth it though.
All your pushing and encouraging is going to do is going to push and encourage your daughter and possibly grandchild to hate you and even themselves. Believe me, shes probably already feeling like the worlds most stupid person, especially if baby daddy walks out.. dont throw it there face. Itll most probably push her over the edge.

sorry, i just felt i needed to say that after reading some of the responses.

I plan to educate my son, and have a stash of condoms for him, im not stupid enough to preach abstinence.. really... it doesnt work. But if he were to get a girl pregnant, i will definantley be there supporting his relationship with his child. Noway would i let him walk out on his child and its mother. No bloody way.

Sara - posted on 03/29/2010

It is one of my biggest fears that my daughter will get pregnant before she's ready to be a parent. I hope the way I raise her will not lead her to that path, but you can't control everything. I just want to drive it home to her that while I may not be able to control or even know everything she does, I just expect her not to be a dumbass about it.

. - posted on 03/29/2010

My sister is one of those, was never given the talk etc and is due any month now. From what I understand the babydaddy has been in and out of prison. She'll be 19 in May.

If my son gets a girl pregnant then I'll be making sure he steps up to the plate- like his Dad is doing so he can see his sister.

Erin - posted on 03/28/2010

Ugh.. if my daughter came home from high school pregnant I would be devastated. But it is my job as her mother to set my own feelings aside and help her deal with the situation. Quite honestly, I would hope that she would choose not to go through with it, but I would not pressure her and would support her regardless.

Teaching abstinence is a joke, IMO. Just because I will educate my child about safe sex and contraception does not mean I 'want' her to have sex. I don't think ANY parents want their kids to have sex. But it happens, and what sort of parent would I be if I didn't arm my daughter with the knowledge to make good choices for herself?

Charlie - posted on 03/28/2010

I love Kaz Cook her books are very well written and very entertaining at the same time !

Sunny - posted on 03/28/2010

My little sister just turned 11 and i gave her a book called secret girls stuff by kaz cook. It went though EVERYTHING sex, drugs, per pressure, hormones, laws, anything you could think of it was about 800 pages lol. I made her read everyone of them! (knowing full well my mother was to embarrassed to talk to her about those things and she had already started her period) I was pregnant at 17 and my partner has been fantastic. I have no doubt that my son will learn a lot from him about the responsibilities of being a father and partner. I also know a lot of young couples where the father is amazing and in some cases has full custody.

Erin - posted on 03/27/2010

I need to get off so i didn't read the other responses, but in the event that one of my sons impregnates a girl, here's hoping its much later then 16!!!, I will definitely make sure the little punk gets a job and pays for his child! If the mom didn't want that child to cramp her teenage lifestyle I would also push him to step up and take custody of his child, or in the event that she would want to put it up for adoption I would fight to have that child whether my son takes it or my husband and I! Family needs to stick together and there's no reason there can't be a teenage single dad!

Charlie - posted on 03/27/2010

WOW , that is really sad now this girl has had a life long change brought upon her by her , lazy , ignorant ( or both ) parents , what is really sad is she really though pregnancy wasn't preventable .

I will be teaching my children about safe sex and the consequences of sex early , age appropriate lessons that will get more in depth as they grow , abstinence is nice if that could really be a reality but i think its dangerous to ONLY teach abstinence .

You can start as early as 5 years old starting from when they ask questions about their bodies (not sex per se ) but more the biological aspect , boys have a penis girls have a vagina ect , where do babies come from question is usually brought up by then , i have had children at my school age 5 discussing where babies come from and to my surprise most of them knew that men had sperm and women have eggs , (they didnt know the gory details ) some explained it as daddy plants a seed in mummy when they love each other , which i found adorable almost all of them knew a baby came out the vagina or stomach .

By ten you can talk about periods and contraception ect .

I would be a upset if me sons knocked someone up , but i would have to just be there and support him , make sure he takes responsibility for both his child and himself

Lisamarie - posted on 03/27/2010

My mum has always been very open about sex with me and I have always known I could talk to her about it. (I even discussed losing my virginity with my now husband 9 months before we actually did it, with my mum) Actually, might sound weird to some, but I can even talk to my step dad about contraception and periods lol (I've had a lot of trouble with the depo) Anyways, I will always try and be as open as possible with my children about sex and contraception.

I would definetely make my son step up if he got some girl pregnant, if he's old enough to do the act he is old enough to deal with the consequences, it takes two to tango! lol My cousin (older than me!) got his long term g/f pregnant, he left her, she had the baby now he refuses to see the baby and says she isn't his! All respect for him gone as far as I'm concerned.

LaCi - posted on 03/27/2010

hahaa. Yeah I watched that episode the other night. My boyfriend and I just about died laughing.

My son doesn't understand much yet. As soon as he shows any curiosity about the subject I'll tell him all the gory details about sex, consequences, and protection. I will absolutely buy him the condoms, and I hope he's NEVER afraid to ask me. In case he is embarassed, I'll just let him know where a stash of condoms are and make sure they're always in stock ;/

If he were a girl and came home pregnant I would have to show support for whatever decision she would make, but I would be sure to let her know she doesn't have to have the baby, and if she does she doesn't have to keep the baby.

If my son knocked a girl up as a preteen/teen... I would expect my son to be a father. However, I don't want him to struggle with child support and the like while he's in high school and college, so I would do whatever I could to take care of that. Reaching some sort of financial agreement with her until he has a career and is able to do it himself, it's my grandkid after all. I don't want my son or my grandchild to go without anything.

Thankfully I have years before all that stress ;) I'll relax for the next decade.

Caitlin - posted on 03/27/2010

Oh man if my daughter came home pregnant i'd freak out, but i'd quickly get over it i think and help her make the best decision for her, and support her whatever it is if i was able. I disagree 100% with abstinence only sex education - it doesn't work and I feel it should be something adressed at home first, then at school. Not that i'm going to have a great time explaining it to my daughters, but it has to be done. My mother taught sex education, so I learned quite young what it was all about and the risks involved. If i had a son and he got a girl pregnant, i'd make him be responsible for it, he's just as much to blame as the girl in that case!

Good Day! - posted on 03/27/2010

I hope that my daughter doesn't come home pregnant until she is married, but if that ever should happen, yes I would support her to no end. I would do the same if my son got a girl pregnant. I would support him so that he could step up and be a father and supportive partner to the girl. And of course, I would be a good grandmother and MIL (or whatever you call it at that point).

Lady - posted on 03/27/2010

We have already talked to our 11 year old son about the importance of wearing a condom every single time he has sex even though I think it will be quite a while before it's something he needs to really think about but we wanted to start drumming it into him from a young age. If he were to get a girl pregnant when he was older then I would deffinatly make him stand up and take responsability, not by quitting school to get a job or anything although I would probably have him get a weeend or evening job to help with the money and he would have to be a father to that child for the rest of his life.

If my daughter came home pregnant then I would offer her as much support as I could, I would probably try and encourage her to have an abortion if she wasn't too far on. But just as we have done with our son when she reaches about the same age we will be taling to her about the importance of using condoms - I wouldn't want her on the pill though!

Amie - posted on 03/27/2010

Honestly it irritates me to no end that children are not properly prepared. We're supposed to be raising them to handle life, yet they can't do that without (at least) basic knowledge in this area as well. It makes me sad that my 9 1/2 year old knows more than some teenagers out there. It really wasn't that big of a deal to talk with her, she and I were both ok with it. We've maintained an open relationship with all our kids though. Even our son is starting to learn more and more as the years go by. He's 5.

We've never out right banned anything but we have taught them how to cope in certain situations. We've also taught them to use their better judgement and to actually THINK about all their actions. Our son has a "girlfriend", it's the cutest thing ever. At that age though it doesn't really mean much. Our daughter did the same thing. It was just a really good friend, they never did anything that was worrisome or sent up red flags. Our son's gf lives across the street and they've known each other for almost their entire short lives. LOL! Our oldest daughter though, has no interest in dating. She's been known to tell boys flat out she has no interest and only wants friends. I think the funniest though was when she told a new boy in class that he was just trying to be a smooth player and she had absolutely zero interest, she only wanted friends. She's too young to date or even think about it. =D She makes me proud. She's also older and is starting to fully appreciate what dating and all things that come with it entail. She's a smart cookie and I'm glad for the open relationship we have. There is nothing she won't talk to me about. She knows no matter what, I love her and am always here to stand by her side. Even if that means she loses privileges for awhile. Regardless though if she ever made the decision to have sex and came home pregnant.. my husband and I would both be there to help her through it. I know my husband would be looking for the boy too if he tried to ditch on his kid. But then neither of us look kindly on dead beat dads, no matter their age.

Uh this has gotten long but onto the last question. If my son ever tried to ditch out on his child I would probably change my mind about never smacking my kids and give him one right upside the head. It would be his responsibility to help take care of that child. Just because he's not the one carrying it or giving birth does not absolve him of taking responsibility. That baby would not be there if not for him.

Parents who let their sons walk away... need a great big swift kick too. Disgusting.