Are girls growing up too fast these days?

Sherri - posted on 10/12/2010

I would love for you to use my idea. My mom will be proud that is what she did for me and my siblings and her father did for her.

Oh I agree summer jobs for sure!! I also want them working while they are in college not full time but definitely part time!! I think my oldest may plan on going away to college and only come home on weekends or vacations. My middle I know he will go to a local college and live at home till he graduates. He just isn't as brave as my older one is.

Lucy - posted on 10/12/2010

Yep, here in the UK kids can get a part time job at 14, but of course there are strict legal guidelines about the type of work, how many hours etc. When I was 14 I got a job working in a kitchen at a small hotel and sometimes got paid to look after the hotelier's son at the weekends. It was only seasonal and just a few hours a week, but it gave me great sense of achievement earning my own money, and I had to learn about being on time, not letting people down etc, which I think is a healthy lesson for a teen! I kept the same seasonal job until I finished University, and I've never had a problem with employment. I think it looks great on a C.V. that you've got a good work ethic.

When I mentioned 19/20 year olds still being at home rent free, I meant those who were just hanging about, jobless, letting Mum pick up the bills for everything. If they're working their butts off at college and coming home to Mum during the holidays, I have no problem with that, I think it's great that they are working for their future. Although, I would still like to see them working a Summer job when term is over :)

I LOVE your idea about what you will do with the rent your kids pay you. They gain a sense of responsibility and are rewarded for the efforts. If we can afford it at the time, I'm going to use that idea, if you don't mind!

Sherri - posted on 10/12/2010

Can children work where you are at 14?? Because where I live they can't work until at least 15 legally and then very very few places will hire them at that age really not until really 16 can our children work.

I don't want my kids on there own at 18 or 19. I want them to finish college first and then move out and be able to support themselves and not go into debt moving out to early School needs to be there top priority not paying to survive. However, once they graduate high school they will be required to pay rent probably about $50 a wk. Which actually I will take and put it in an acct. for them which I will present to them once they move out sometime in their mid 20's.

Lucy - posted on 10/12/2010

I do think we live in an age where we (meaning society in general) present our kids with very confusing paradoxes regarding appropriate behaviour.

I have seen some horrendous clothes for little ones, especially girls. Some parents seem intent on dressing up their girls like mini adults with ear piecing, dyed hair etc, when they are still in primary school. This extends into the kind of media girls are exposed to. Over sexualised images of their peers in advertising and magazines. One particular magazine in the UK springs to mind called "Sugar". In their publication group website it is listed as being aimed at 11-14 year olds, and carries such educational topics as "How to get boys to like you", "being in the cool crowd" and make up tips. For me, this is far too young. These are issues for a Mum and daughter to talk over when the time is right.

BUT at the same time we are pushing our kids to dress, act and think of themselves as adults, we are also infantilising them by not encouraging a sense of personal responsibility. So few kids these days seem to go out and get a Saturday job when they hit 14, or contribute to the running of the household, or have a sense of what they want to be in life (besides the apparently mandatory "famous"). Along with this, once kids hit 19/20, they are still at home, rent free, letting Mummy look after them!

As a result, we are creating a whole generation of over sexualised, irresponsible young adults who feel they are entitled to whatever they want in life without having to work at it. We have given kids the belief and pressure that they feel they have to be adult far earlier in life, without actually equipping them with the tools they need to be confident, rounded individuals.

Sherri - posted on 10/11/2010

@JuLeah In many ways, I think we baby kids way too long, so I will push her in some areas.

How do we baby our kids too long?? Just curious. What will you push your kids to do?

Liz - posted on 10/11/2010

Tah-JC Pennies is great, the closest one is an hour away so when I can I hit there sales. I've scored some nice jeans for my girls for $2-3.

Tah - posted on 10/11/2010

@Juleah, i think they should learn independence absoflipinlutely..as long as we aren't pushing them sexually and into situations they aren't mature enough for or that can be dangerous for them mentally and emotionally as well. I mean children used to work in factories also but you don't see that over here anymore either. Somethings have changed for the better, other things not so much..

Tah - posted on 10/11/2010

liz..i forget where you are...but jc penny's saves my life..my 8 year old...she will be 9 on the 31st still has baby fat on her...but she is thinning out.. she has hips and booty..and well..she got it honest...lol..we have booty and hips on our side..so i go to jc penny's to the plus size section for girls and can get half sizes for her so that she doesn't look like a really short 18 year old in her jeans...i came home yesterday and saw her in jeans, went upstairs and started pracitcing my karate on the spot....smh..

Teresa - posted on 10/11/2010

My girls fit a size 6 jeans, but I have to buy a 10/12 dress for it to be long enough. Needless to say, they almost always wear shorts underneath their dresses since most of them are size 7/8 and fit perfectly everywhere except the length. Their shorts/skorts are too short IMO, but like I said... size 6 waist and long legs.



I will 'push' them in areas of responsibility, but as far as sexualization and 'popularity' (music, etc...)... not a chance.

JuLeah - posted on 10/11/2010

In many places in the world, girls are married off at age 13. The idea of 'teenager' was one we invented and not that long ago.
And, I don't want to make my 8 year old a sex object. I never want her to be a sex object, really. Doing adult things, often translates to 'stupid things' and I will hold he back from that until she is smart enough to not do them :)
In many ways, I think we baby kids way too long, so I will push her in some areas.

Liz - posted on 10/11/2010

Thats how it is for my 5 year old, belts with everything but they stay on fine. My oldest is built just like me, short, thin waist, big butt and big thighs. Shes the one I can never find clothes for.

Amie - posted on 10/11/2010

Liz, our oldest has the exact same issue. She's very thin and any clothes in the right length, are too big in the waist. She's now in size 12 but the waist on all of them are way too big. She can fit a 6-8 in waist so we buy her those for shorts and skirts. It's getting harder and harder to find her clothes that fit properly. So for now, she has a collection of belts that work.

Liz - posted on 10/11/2010

I hate the clothes I find these days and costumes. I can never find any jeans that aren't hip huggers in my price range for my 5 and 6 year old girls. My 5 year old can wear them fine without her butt crack hanging out but my oldest is not built for them. And people keep buying them skirts that have no shorts underneath but are way too short for my comfort. I see kids from 4 on up wearing clothes I didn't even think about wearing until high school.

Amie - posted on 10/11/2010

That issue is why we buy our oldest one size larger halloween outfits. At least then it seems to be appropriate. She's going as an evil fairy this year, if we would have bought the 'right' size for her, it would maybe be a couple inches past her butt. Now it's at mid thigh. We also bought her tights to go with it though so it's not as bad.

Some of the way I see kids dress, makes me wonder wth their parents are thinking. I haven't seen anything too ostentatious but there is one girl in cadets with my daughter. She's 12, she's aging out this year. Their last sports night, her mom let her come in a low cut v neck top. =/ It's one of those shirts that are for kids her age but it's meant to be worn in layers. My sister, whose 17, has shirts like that and wears them in layers like they are supposed to be! Ick.

Our oldest is 10 and is growing breasts already. She has clothes that some would consider inappropriate but she's also been taught they need to be worn in layers, as intended. I think some of it is parents are just retarded and don't understand this.

The hormones in our food issue is something I've been hearing about for years.

Lindsay - posted on 10/11/2010

I honestly haven't ever had any trouble finding my daughter age appropriate clothing. Now granted, she's 5 1/2 and I know the day will come. She's recently pretty much grown out of the toddler sizes and now we are venturing into the "girls" department of stores. I don't think it will be an issue until she gets into junior sizes. But I do wonder if some kids are getting "bigger" than they were in the past, if them being too big to fit into age appropriate sizes and moving to the more mature sizes sooner doesn't have something to do with it.

Good Day! - posted on 10/11/2010

But at age 4-5 and being encouraged to act in that way by your mom?

Sherri - posted on 10/11/2010

No I remember being in love with every new band that was popular at the time. Had every magazine, had there pictures hanging all over my walls. Pretended we would be married, practiced writing what our married names would be etc. So did my friends and that was 20 something years ago. Those things haven't changed in the least.

Good Day! - posted on 10/11/2010

@Dana, that's what I've heard and my husband swears it's true. It makes sense if you think about it.

Here's kind of a twist on this same topic. I want to see how you all feel about it. My niece (age 5) is in *love* with Justin Beiber. His poster is on her wall. Her mom buys her all the magazines that he is featured in. She tells me all the time that she just loves his voice. It really bothers me that she is being encouraged to continue with this crush.

Okay, I remember going through a New Kids on the Block phase at about that age. But I didn't own any paraphernalia. And my mom encouraged me to listen to other music.

In your opinion, is this celebrity infatuation just as bad as allowing young girls to dress inappropriately? Does it also have negative effects? Or am I over-reacting a little?

Dana - posted on 10/11/2010

lmao...

Tah - posted on 10/11/2010

yes dana....there were some shirts in the clothing store with sexually suggestive saying on them like..i threw 3 in the cart just to see my husband have a fit...he said you have 2 seconds to put that crap back or im going to rip it to shreds....i love teasing him about her and our nieces, but seriously it is terrible...and yes they do say it is the hormones, when my brother-in-law was told by my sister that his 11 year old had her period since 10 and that by time she was 12 we were taking her to buy DD bras he tried to turn her into a vegeterian...lol....

Tah - posted on 10/11/2010

@Loureen, please tell me you are jokiing...me keeping my lunch down depends on it...

Dana - posted on 10/11/2010

Don't they say that girls are maturing earlier because of all the hormones added to our food?

Sherri - posted on 10/11/2010

Hmmmm I don't find we have those problems here very much at all. Probably because we are rural. No malls, movies etc. Kids can't walk to friends houses etc. We don't seem to have as much outside influences.

I still find girls are getting there periods very scattered I know a few that were in 5th grade as was I but I also know a few that didn't start till there sophomore yr in high school.

However, I do find that they are marketing clothing to make little girls look like teenagers but I really only find that in the mall stores such as Limited too and stores like that. So I just avoid the name brand stores and stick to the smaller boutiques and stores I find they have the cutest clothes that are still modest but age appropriate.

Dana - posted on 10/11/2010

Yes, they are are it's disgusting. I swear if I see one more little girl with some "sexy" phrase across her ass, I might scream.

Sharon - posted on 10/11/2010

Yes.

I see them. Whores in training with their belly baring shirts & skirts short enough for for a gyno exam standing up. They're 7 & wearing more makeup than I am.

They're watchng shows that are WAY beyond their years. Secret life of an american teen, those" reality shows" my kids aren't allowed to watch that stuff. Not southpark, family guy or american dad either.

Charlie - posted on 10/11/2010

Yes they absolutely are in this idependance , adultifacted , sex obsessed world .

LET CHILDREN BE CHILDREN .
And yes that means teens too , lordi lord WE ALL thought we were "grown ups " when we were teens but it takes hindsight to realize we were just big kids .

I honestly believe its adults that push this on children from a very early age , not so much sexualization but pushing them to be and act older than they are with these astronomically high expectations .
What i am getting at is people are making their kids grow up faster than is natural in general .
By the way Tah they actually have invented spray on clothes from a can that can be re used ;)

Louise - posted on 10/11/2010

I think society today is so cruel to little girls and this comes from magasines and clothing ranges aimed for little girls as young as 4. When is a little girl aloud to be a little girl. I have a 23 month old daughter and when I go to buy her clothes I see all the bikinis and short shorts and boob tube tops and ultra short skirts. I don't want my daughter dressing like this so very young. Where are the clothes for making mud pies and exploring the world. They make childs make up and even Disney make fairy shoes with heels on them. Where does it stop. When you walk down the road at school home time the girls are in short skirts and cacked with make-up and they can't be any older than 12. It makes me so sad that my daughter will have the peer pressure to conform with all the other girls and I am probably going to have a fight on my hands as she gets older. Whats wrong with letting a little girl look her age rather than have her think that she should be dressing sexy and conform.

Stifler's - posted on 10/10/2010

I think girls are maturing sexually younger too. I don't have a girl but I've been one and I got my period at 12 1/2 and some girls my age got theirs at 9 and more and more girls are getting it at 8 and 9 than when I was a kid. It's also the parents too, letting their kid wear whatever they want and do whatever they want and being afraid to say no in case their daughter hates them and rebels.

Tah - posted on 10/10/2010

excuse me ladies....but i have to say it...."hell yeah"...and i am not singing a country song. These girls are growing so fast it's crazy. Why in the world someone would allow their child to wear some of these things that they do, i juat dont understand. I see children everyday in shorts so small i only wear them to bed so my husband can take them off. They are in heels very soon, makeup really soon, and sometimes it's like noone is telling them there is more to life then a short skirt. I pulled up from school the other day and some children were at my door looking for my son and off to the side was a little girl in some jeans i am pretty sure came out of a paint can and some little boy was standing so close to her butt she should have just let him toodle her right there. My husband allows me to buy my daughter skirts..as long as the tights are built in or they are a great length.



My niece is so shy she wears shirts over her bathing suits and some of the 11-15 year old girls are out here in shower wear flirting with the lifeguards and peoples husbands, for goodness sake i'm glad i can swim...Their mother's act like it's okay, One little girl was in a lip lock so tight with a little knucklehead boy i thought they were on their honeymoon. One of the girls in karate with us said this,,,keep in mind she is 13..barely..like b-day was in august..."i want to be a dental hygientist"..me.kay that's great..why not a dentist".."because i am going to marry a dentist and then work in his office as a dental hygientist so i can watch him and make sure he doesn't cheat"..who thinks like that at 13.



Okay judge me if you want, but i treat my children like children. They have to leave the room when adutls are talking, or we leave the area, They say yes mom and no mom..etc. They can't dress like a good night is waiting and i have others...I think children should be children and shouldn't be in a rush to grow up and we should not be in a rush for them to.