Christa - posted on 05/22/2010 ( 47 moms have responded )
I was having a discussion with my dad and we started talking about all kinds of topics and we started to come to a conclusion that as a society we are too nice. We are no longer allowed to spank or yell or say no too many times or do time outs because that will scar them for life. We can’t tell people/companies/countries “no we will not bail you out”, because someone has a reason why it wasn’t their fault. We can't tell a woman she made a poor choice by not breastfeeding because then we don't know what their situation is. We can't tell mothers not to give their child solids too young because then we are being too judgmental. Everyone has an excuse. .
My sister recently graduated college with her degree in psychology and has found a job as a therapist at a behavior rehabilitation center for troubled youth (I want to note that it is a highly regarded facility). She's just started training, but she's already learning a lot. She says they don't use kid gloves there and they don’t take excuses. They tell it like it is and they tell the kids they've screwed up. They don't care what your excuse was they make you own it. From what she's been able to tell from the kids there is that they love it, obviously not at first, but once they start getting better they like the "tough love".
I know I've said something’s that are going to get some people riled up. I don't want to have a debate on any of the topics I mentioned. I want to discuss if this attitude of positive reinforcement, hearing excuses, etc is actually hurting WAY more then it's helping. We see it on here in all kinds of debates, someone states a strong opinion and before they know it they are apologizing for offending someone. Should we stop apologizing? Now I'm not saying we need to become a bunch of rude a-holes, but maybe it's time to take the kid gloves off. Thoughts?