Behind closed doors...or maybe not!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/20/2010 ( 75 moms have responded )

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Ok Joy, you opened the flood gates. I have been wanting to do this one for a while, now you gave me the balls to ask......

Who is gonna kiss and tell???? I wanna know where the craziest place you have had sex is, most regretful, and possibly funniest story!!! Or perhaps you want to so something spontanious and the other half doesn't?

For me, the craziest place was on the balcony of our Jamaican resort on our honeymoon....anyone that wanted to look up could have had their own little show! The most regretful place (but also crazy) was when I was a store manager of a retail shop and we were closing this particular location. My boyfriend at the time convinced me to have sex in the bathroom...yuck-a-doodle-doo! I would like more of an exhabitionist approach to our sex life...but I think we are both a little to embarrassed for that. Maybe your stories will convince me to brave it!

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[deleted account]

Sorry, nope! It's one thing to be sexual, or to even talk about it with friends in person, but on the internet? No thanks!

[deleted account]

I don't mind it being in the air, I'm just not sure why people would want to post about this private stuff where everyone and anyone can see it? It's there FOREVER...

Jenn - posted on 12/20/2010

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@Tah - oops - I guess I've done it in lots of illegal places LOL! I guess I sort of meant that differntly. I've done it in public bathrooms, at a park at night, in an apple orchard, on the side of the road and someone pulled over to ask if we were alright, in a hotel window in Montreal, and another one that was good was while he was driving down the highway, I was on top and it was a stick shift - now that's talent LMAO!!!

[deleted account]

lol :D I'm not going to change my mind about openness because of one persons opinion, maybe a lot of others think the same as dana. Those other things people gave TMI on are not sexual. A certain stigma attached to sexually related conversations. Apparently its "private" . I could care less about privacy when it comes to that. Anything anyone asks me, i will answer, truthfully and with no embarrassment. :P

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/20/2010

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Oh Dana, I think you scared everyone away...you are no fun. We have all said plenty of things in this forum that are exposing....jeesh. It may not have been about sex (or it has) but could have been about periods, diva cups, tearing, c sections...very discript things that most people would not talk about openly but give WAY TMI in here!

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75 Comments

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Sarah - posted on 04/24/2012

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on a train and gave bj on bus

had sex in my back garden knowing my then neighbour was watching. she confessed the day after she liked it lol

given bj in back seat of car while travelling on motorway one afternoon

had sex on back seat of coach on coach trip

masterbated a youg guy on a packed train as well who was stodd behind me and had been getting a bit aroused with bumping nto my arse i was 40ish he was.... darent think!!!

C. - posted on 12/26/2010

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"what's the most mortifying experience for you all?? "

Now, THAT I can answer..

When I was about 8 months pregnant, hubby and I had just gotten married and we were staying at his parents' house (he only had a couple weeks before leaving for his first duty station, so there it was basically his parents' house or my mom's..) Anyway, we were in the middle of everything and out of the corner of my eye, I see the door close slowly.. OMG! There I was all exposed, pregnant belly and boobs and everything, legs up in the air and NO COVERS on.. And someone saw it all. I THINK it was his mom, but could have been his brother. Either way, I'm pretty sure they learned their lesson to knocking before entering..

[deleted account]

oh god....it was the first time i had sex, i was in my room, my mom NEVER just walks in. Me and my bf at the time were right in the middle of really awkward sex. Obviously i didn't know what i was doing, it was my first time! Mom just walked in, seen us then walked out. THAT is not the mortifying part! It was when i went up stairs, my mom started telling me how to do it right!!!!

Rosie - posted on 12/23/2010

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what's the most mortifying experience for you all??

i've had a couple lol



the one that takes the cake is when i was 16-17 ish and my dad wasn't home, and my boyfriend came over to our house. we went to my bedroom (which is right next to the driveway, thought we'd be able to hear if he came home sooner than expected) and started giving him head. well, my dad came home early, stealth as a fucking mouse, and opened my bedroom door to get an eyeful of his daughter with her boyfriends dick in her mouth. i almost shit.

he angrily stated get off of him, and shut the door and left. i think he was trying not to kill my boyfriend so he just left, lol!



another time we were at the river again, and parked this time by the boat ramp. i was topless and he was pantless when i looked up and there was a van next to my little car with the driver looking down at us!! he he!

[deleted account]

why are people's posts not showing up before mine when I write something???!!! then I come back to the thread againa and there is all this new stuff before what I have written. could be so much more entrertaining (or some might say offensive :) if I had all the facts! damn!!!

[deleted account]

and guys are sooo stupid thinking it is the size that counts. dumb dumb dumb. they all wanna be porno stars. creepy city!

Jenn - posted on 12/23/2010

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I agree on the painful water sex - so not as sexy as they make it out to be in the movies. It's hard to move right and then it dries you out - kind of weird that water makes you dry, eh?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/23/2010

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It hurts me too Julianne...maybe Loureen is just more naturally lubed than us!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/23/2010

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I am glad I have a partner in crime saying completely and totally inapropriate things...I look foward to yours also! Atleast we will know someone out there will compltetly appreciate the nastiness!

[deleted account]

omg please marina get over it. you will have lots of opportunities to foot in mouth in future. and I pesronally look forward to it!

Charlie - posted on 12/23/2010

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Hmmm I didn't thin it hurt at all , lol no we weren't told to shhh haha .

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/23/2010

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I still don't understand how women can comfortably have sex in water..it hurts! Well me atleast! The taxi thing I only thought was on tv, that is freaking great! Library huh? Were you told to "SHHHHHHHH!"?

Charlie - posted on 12/22/2010

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night Club toilet
park
music festival
tennis courts
beach in the water and out
library
taxi
I gave my fiancée head while he was driving ( I know dangerous)
Back alley near a night club
a cave
on a friends car bonnet in the street ( it was very early in the morning , no one around ......I think )
A construction site


I watched a documentary about the worlds largest cocks , it was actually really sad , they men couldn't ever have full sex or a full erection because of the weight .

Mrs. - posted on 12/22/2010

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Backstage during a live theatre show..just off to the corner so the audience couldn't see. Theatre techs have it good...sex in a dark corner is pretty easy to find. I guess it's a good thing I'm not a theatre tech.

[deleted account]

HAHAA may have been big, but not very useful eh?!Just goes to show you size doesnt matter if you dont know what your doing!!! lol

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/22/2010

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Lol! That was a big fucker! HAHAHAHA....I didn't mean to make that pun...I am gonna leave that up!

[deleted account]

HAAHAA nothing wrong with being open! next we'll see threads about the biggest cocks we've experienced...lmao

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/22/2010

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AAAAAAHHHHHAAAAHHHAAAAHHHHAAA! I just reread what I wrote Vicki, eeek! If it was a personal one on one conversation, I probably would have said worse....but I think I crossed a dirty line on DM!

Shauna - posted on 12/21/2010

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In the spare room at a club where they keep all the extra kegs of beer with some random guy i was dacning with-----good thing b/c when i was done and walked out into the parking lot i met my now husband that same night.
and plenty of in the car all over the place, State lakes, hood of the car on country roads. Parking lot of strip club,,,,, oooooo when i was much younger the living room of my b/fs parents house when their parents were home and wake in the next room... that one was scary.

Vegemite - posted on 12/21/2010

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just to name a few in a park, by the side of the road, the front yard, hotel balcony, but the funniest because it's also embarrassing is an out door car yard. Being chased down a main street with you pants around your knees by security to your car in a side street is adding a little thrill to marriage I guess.

Then there's the time when I thought some oral action would be fun on a long drive When husband starts laughing i look up to see why and find an army truck full of men had cut in of us and were having a good look

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/21/2010

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Bickering on this thread? Seriously? Damn, I always miss the good stuff. Anyway, my regret was a 1 night stand. I forgot all about this. I met him at a club, and we exchanged phone numbers. He had the biggest dick I have ever seen....no seriously you have no idea. It was so big, it was never fully erect...and so heavy it just could barely lift itself. Anyway, it was 5 minutes of suckiness....then he wanted to try again. Yeah thank you no...I actually bolted! AHHHHHH...the days of young stupid choices. I left my favorite liter there...and I even had the nerve to call and ask for it...LOL...never got it back.

Jenn - posted on 12/21/2010

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I was just thinking the same thing Vicki - but I'm thinking it was more bickering, and not so much that someone was being too dirty.

[deleted account]

man on a thread like this one I wish I knew what was posted that had to be deleted! one can only imagine (yuck...not sure I want to imagine though - damn being so curious!).

[deleted account]

Mwuahahahhahahahahahahahaha....

Craziest/Funniest: My husband's ex's kitchen. She and I were friends (long after she and my hubby had broken up) while in college and during spring break our freshman year I stayed in her apartment because I had a job but not my own place yet. My one day off that week, my boyfriend (now husband) came to visit and one thing led to another. bwuahahahaha...I don't know that she knew and really don't care (she moved into a bigger and more expensive apartment she couldn't afford about a month later) because we had a huge fight a few months later concerning her cats and choice of religion. We haven't spoken on good terms since.

Most regretful: Well, I don't regret anything I've ever done with my hubby :) but...I had a short fling with a guy during the year my hubby and I were apart, and I regret every moment of it. Hubby knows, and we were actually walking in each others' shoes that year, so...we're even, and we have chosen to let our pasts go :) can't change it now, and we're together now, so that's all that matters.

Amie - posted on 12/21/2010

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*** MOD Warning ***



Really? I need to do this again.



Posts are deleted. Members warned. Enough.



Back on topic.



Amie

~DM mod



*Edit to add: Upon further review with another mod, another block has been handed out.

[deleted account]

I've had sex in lots of places and don't have any regrets about any of them. It was always fun! An attic, several cars, in a pool, in the ocean, on the beach (that one was a lil uncomfortable for a few days after...not the romantic experience you see on tv lol), in the bathroom at a bar I used to work at, on a balcony in front of a cop (with one perfectly placed palm tree blocking his view...we could see HIM but he couldn't see US :P ), OMG, I can't remember all of them lol



Edited to add: I'm totally an exhibitionist! Not that I like other people watching, I'm not freaky like that. But the thought of getting caught is a turn on. Like when you know you're doing it and you can see other people....one misstep and they could see you too......

[deleted account]

oh now this has me thinking...vegetable wharehouse, ski hill shower in co-ed bathroom, sauna (gross), park (not unusual but exciting) and I think some of the best has been via telephone when dating my husband. virtual no, telephone yes.

Nikkole - posted on 12/20/2010

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LMAO yea i should convert ;) Eh im not as spontaneous on where i have sex anymore lol too tired with having a 3yr old and a 5month old we just stick to the bedroom now :)

[deleted account]

you should just convert to judaism. we get one day a year where we just say whoops, screwed up please forgive me and boom...instant forgiveness! great for the soul (and conscience)...just don't go finding an empty room and have sex...security guards will find you for sure. although you might like that!

Nikkole - posted on 12/20/2010

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lol yea i know :P ive asked for forgiveness since then that was 8yrs ago haha

[deleted account]

I don't think anyone can top the church thing! blasphemy!!!
but while I'm at it back of taxi. I know, not very original, even for he driver I'm sure as its a big city afterall.

[deleted account]

oh screw it (no pun intended)...in an english theatre washroom in Italy. the movie sucked. again...dirty minds out of toilet (hah...triple entendre)!

Nikkole - posted on 12/20/2010

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The craziest place ive had sex is in a church (i know im going to hell) It was during service one morning and my now husband looked at me and said lets go so we went to another room and had some fun ;) !!! The most regretful or funniest was in the mall parking lot... we went to see a movie and so did my MIL and my husbands little bros and sister well our movie let out way beofre theres so we went out to his moms station wagon and laid the seats down and laid there kissing and then started to get steamier we started having sex and we didnt realize it but there were passer byers and they were getting a full free show LMAO everyone was gathered around the wagon watching and laughing OH MY GOD that was embarrassing!

OR there was the time before we were married (his mom is super religious and belives NO sex before marriage) we were having sex in his bedroom and i was BUTT ASS NAKED and on top of him well his mom opens the door while talking and looked at us and said "OH MY" closed the door and knocked then opened it again and started having a conversation with us while im naked and laying next to him then she just left that was HORRIFYING!!!!

Amanda - posted on 12/20/2010

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Umm one place was with my exhusband in the dressing room of a very busy store in a mall!!! Good thing we didn't get caught! :) Another time was with my ex who I am thankful not to be with anymore!! Lol...and that was in his aunt and uncles house in the bathroom while his entire family sat in the room right next to us! Talk about having to be quiet! I'm by NO means quiet! Haha...and with my fiance...was in our car and in a hot tub...mmm I liked the hot tub time! ;)

April - posted on 12/20/2010

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most romantic place: on a beach
least romantic: in a car parked in a parking lot in college. we were caught by the campus police who shined his flashlight on us. He said, "You wanna take it somewhere else?" I was MORTIFIED!!

Kate CP - posted on 12/20/2010

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Marina: Not performance anxiety...he was just a lousy lay. Thank god he's not my husband. :P

Tah - posted on 12/20/2010

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I won by B-10..lol...and have been winning ever since...BINGO...IN YOUR FACE...lol....(thats to my ex who i never won with) but played often..lmbbo....

[deleted account]

that reminded me of this one time, my friend was drove around town while me and my ex had sex in the back of the jimmy. It had these fold down seats, so it was like a bed :P





edit, yea it was actually in where they show the movies. In the back row. Only a handful of people were there.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/20/2010

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Julianne,,,movie theatre huh? I will admit, that is always a place I have wanted to give a blowjob...to much of a woose.

Tah,... bingo eh? Did you win with a 69????

Sherri - posted on 12/20/2010

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I am very private and modest and I have never done it anywhere out of the ordinary. Always inside and 90% of the time in the bedroom.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/20/2010

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Julie, sorry,,,that is just creepy...gah,,,just,...ewe?

Kelly./..I love the idea of a light house.."you light up my life" should have been playing,,,thats a song right? LOL

Jocelyn...nice with the baseball field...that is ballsy...tee hee..pun much intented

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/20/2010

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Kate, probably performance anxiety! Hell he had office building looking!

Vicki, to continue with the flow of the topic, give it to him good and hard;...with or without involvement of the potty!

Kati...all I can say is wowza! Just,,,WOWZA! I could never do it in water,,,have tried,,,,it cuts the natural lube or some junk...even in the shower I cannot!

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