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Birds and the Bees!!

**Jackie** - posted on 08/04/2012 ( 13 moms have responded )

953

What age is a good age to have "the talk"? What are some signs you are/will be looking for to lead you to the decision that it's time? How young is too young?

My girlfriend has a 10 year old son. Surely too young to even be thinking about sex, right? WRONG!! She left him alone in the kid's room of her home with a little girl that is one of his very best friends. She always thought it was kind of weird but the girl is a little tomboy and super sweet and they play video games together.

She decided to surprise them with a snack and when she went into the room she discovered them kissing.....without pants on....both of them. After throwing the bagel bites all over the floor and screaming, she immediately called the girl's mother and told her what happened. The girl's mother wanted to just ground her and tell her what she did was sooo not okay but my friend wanted to have the talk with her son.

It seems to me that the age of experimentation is getting younger and younger as the years go on. So, how young is too young? Should we wait for them to learn it in Sex Ed?

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Stifler's - posted on 08/06/2012

15,141

154

Really!

Dove - posted on 08/06/2012

4,927

Sorry, I know that's not 'really' funny, but I had to mark it as such cuz.... really? ;)

Stifler's - posted on 08/06/2012

15,141

154

The closest we ever got to talking about sex was in the car on the way to my "boyfriend"'s house (aka we weren't going out but having oral sex constantly)... "joy... you know everything you do has consequences..." end of conversation.

**Jackie** - posted on 08/06/2012

953

I just remembered being in 6th grade and asking my mom was "69" was because I heard my sister and her friends laughing about it. I had NO idea what it was, let alone that it was sex related. My mom drew a 6 and 9 close together on a piece of paper and gave it to me and told me it's something that a man and woman do in bed. I only had to stare at it for a few seconds until I got it , somewhat.

Stifler's - posted on 08/06/2012

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154

From the start. I can't remember when I didn't know about sex. I didn't actually DO it until I was 16 though, and I never did it without a condom (because I can't remember when I didn't know about condoms either, I remember kids talking about them in year 4) until I lived with my partner. My parents never talked to me about sex either, I read it in books that were way too old for my age group. I don't want to be that parent with my kids. Where everything is embarrassing or not talked about.

MeMe - posted on 08/05/2012

140

Jenn---My mom did the same with me and I refrained from sex until 18. My husband's mom didn't broach the subject with him (and she's a nurse!) and, well, he started far younger.

Yep, I agree with this 100%. My mom did not talk to me about anything and well, I was just going on 14, when I first had sex... mind you, there are other factors for this, as well. However, her NOT talking to me and being open, was definitely a part of it.

ETA:

And then when I was 16 and she tried to talk to me, it was too late and I shut her out. I told her, I did not want to talk to her about it and that she was not to bring it up again.

Jenn - posted on 08/05/2012

675

Totally agree with Dove. We start with teaching our daughters to value themselves and their bodies. Even their pediatrician tells them every wellness checkup that she is their doctor and asks permission to touch them. As my girls have gotten older' they have had to learn modesty, especially since they are friends with boys they've known since they were babies. we keep all life lessons age appropriate and based on the girls' level of interest at the time. They know that they can approach me or their dad with any questions and we will answer as honestly as we can.

My mom did the same with me and I refrained from sex until 18. My husband's mom didn't broach the subject with him (and she's a nurse!) and, well, he started far younger.

MeMe - posted on 08/05/2012

140

I started at the age of 5 but it was more about Mommy and her body. However, to have the actual "sex" talk, my daughter would have been about 9. We sat down and went through it ALL. Then I handed her a book that reiterated everything we talked about. I told her she can read it whenever she wanted AND at any time, she could come and ask or just talk to me about it. It went very well. Her and I have a very open relationship, especially in regards to her being able to talk to me about sex.

She is almost 14 and I know she is not anywhere near interested in sex. I also know, it won't stay this way forever. At least I know, she is prepared. ;)

I also do not recommend waiting for them to learn it in Sex Ed. There is too much silliness going on during that class, that they don't truly walk away hearing everything or getting to ask any questions. They need it at home beforehand, let them have an advantage in that uncomfortable class. ;)

Corinne - posted on 08/05/2012

1,287

My daughter is 6yrs old. She has asked lots of questions about why Mummys body is different, she knows what boobs are for and that Mummy has periods etc (she walked in on me in the loo). She also knows that babies are made when a man and woman share a special cuddle and the man puts a seed in the lady's womb. Unfortunately, some of the kids in her class have been talking about sex and they know too much IMO, it's like they've seen it or a video and the stuff they say is appalling. I want both my kids to be able to talk about sex and I will always answer them as age appropriately and honestly as I can. I'm also looking for books for them.

**Jackie** - posted on 08/04/2012

953

Awesome idea. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown just thinking of the talk lol My daughter is only 2 so I have at least 6 years to get a game plan. I think talking is soooooo important.

Dove - posted on 08/04/2012

4,927

My childhood 'sex ed' consisted of books and I pretty much never talked to my parents about anything. I was very awkward and uncomfortable with just about everything, so I vowed to be open from a very young age with my kids and just make the 'uncomfortable' topics as common and normal as what's for dinner... lol I have used books to start conversations and to give to them to keep and read on their own, but a lot of it is talk, talk, talk. ;)

Most of our conversations DO come from questions a child has, but since I know there are kids at our middle school who have sex... I wanted to make sure that they are all fully prepared before that.

**Jackie** - posted on 08/04/2012

953

Dove, I always look forward to your posts lol.

Anyway, I should have clarified. I know Sex Ed doesn't talk about sex full force, but in my case, my mom waited until I was asking questions about the female body and all that to tell me about sex. It was a good thing though. Even though I've only had 2 partners in my life, I started having sex at 14.

Dove - posted on 08/04/2012

4,927

Sex ed isn't a single talk. It's a life long discussion that start in infancy. My oldest first got a basic 'sex talk' at 8.5, but the preliminary stuff had been going on throughout the entire first 8.5 years... and continues with more and more details now that she's about to turn 11.

I have a feeling my youngest will know it all way too 'early' since he's around for most of the discussions with the older ones. ;)