Birth Rape

Stifler's - posted on 09/10/2010

gosh carol that's awful i never knew people were strapped down at all. the hospital i went to was pretty into natural births i think, no elective cesareans, no epidurals unless you have a cesarean. they told me i didn't need an internal and just kept my fluids up and kept me walking, i got gas for a bit but abandoned it in favour of the shower and hot packs and massage and they talked me out of pethidine. could have been because i was low risk too. there was no food restriction either i got food at meal times and ate lollies all night.

Cathy - posted on 09/10/2010

That I just consider rape. The fact that it was while she was in labor just makes the guy a totally sick bastard.

Toni - posted on 09/10/2010

Again neither of those are rape. They are kidnapping, holding against will, GBH, torture, maybe even attempted murder (of the mother) and I'm sure there is a plethora of other crimes they could be charged with.

I read about an actual birth rape (where the women was raped while in labour just to be clear) last year, I have been searching for the article but I can't find it to post it. The gist of the article was her b/f was abusive before and during her pregnancy, he expected sex every night if he did not get it he took it (rape). On the night she went into labour he demanded sex before he took her to the hospital, she refused, he raped her then took her to the hospital. THAT is birth rape!

JuLeah - posted on 09/10/2010

A woman in labor does better walking around, if she is able to change position, if she has less restricted movement, so yes, if she is held to the bed with IV's and fetal moniters, she is straped down - least that is what it feels like

We had planned a home birth. Chose a mid wife with a good working relationship with a doctor (cause ya never know) and did have to transport.

With out a word, nurses started in with IV's (standard practice they told us) and moniters ..... we hollored NO

The doc came in and backed us up. He too felt birth ought to happen at home, where a woman is more comfortable and felt he was only there if needed

He told the staff, this is not the birth they wanted, we will do our best to met them half way

Standard practice means, they cover their asses for insurance reasons, not that it is best for mother or baby

So, no IV, no moniter - baby was monitered with a hand held thingy that was not inserted

The food restriction is just in case a C-section is needed, so your stomach is empty and doesn't react with the drugs they give you, but ice chips as your only food is not actually the best thing for mother and baby, so food was brought in

Healthy baby was born

I learned too that in hospital, there are many standard tests done that are painful, invasive, and not really needed - we objected to that too, whcih the doc agreed with

We interviewed many doctors before picking this guy. We wanted someone we could trust and someone who would trust us and listen

Cathy - posted on 09/10/2010

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnew...



http://www.truecrimereport.com/2009/12/v...



Now that I would consider birth rape ^^^

Petra - posted on 09/10/2010

I think that those behind labeling this as 'birth rape' chose such a loaded word for it because they wanted to sensationalize what many women feel is disrespectful, callous treatment at the hands of medical staff. However, having this phrase taken seriously means tossing the word rape around for things that are in NO WAY rape - call it what it is: medical effing malpractice. If you want to lessen the seriousness with which rape victims are already treated and cloud the issue of actual sexual rape, then by all means, start having the word apply to any instance where you feel your bodily autonomy has been taken away. Oral rape at the dentist, foot rape at the podiatrist, butt rape at the proctologist, etc.

If you want complete control over your birthing experience, have a home birth with a midwife or a doula you trust. If that spirals out of control and you have to go to the ER, they are going to do whatever is necessary to deliver that baby because that is their job. If you planned a hospital birth and find that the staff is quickly turning on you and ignoring your wishes, doing things you completely don't agree with and not informing you of what is going on, lodge a formal complaint or press charges. If you want to raise awareness about the feelings of violation and being railroaded by medical staff, then by all means, write about it on blogs or websites. Leave the term "rape" out of it. You can draw all the parallels you want, but whatever awful things doctors and nurses do to pregnant women during delivery is not rape unless they hop up on the table and actually rape you.

Cathy - posted on 09/10/2010

Unless the doctor, midwife, nurse is inflicting suffering for their own personal gratification it is NOT rape.

The problem lies in women being treated like a number rather than an individual with feelings. The perpetrators of these violations aren't behaving in such a way because they are on a power trip. Most of them will believe that they are acting in the best interest of the child, even if it comes at the expense of woman's dignity. Everything has become so medicalized. They should be focusing on relaxing and assisting the woman through what is an already traumatic yet natural experience. Instead the woman just gets treated like an inconvenient vessel. Ignored, ridiculed, bullied because there body isn't progressing fast enough or they aren't coping appropriately with the pain. Women need protecting from these people. They have no place working in a profession that requires patience and compassion.

First child, I cried in pain from internals but allowed them because I was told it was necessary, begging them to hurry up. I wasn't given the option when they decided to break my waters. When I screamed at the pushing stage, I was told to be quiet. I don't consider that rape. I don't consider it assault even. But I do think they were disinterested in me and more in freeing up the room. We are women not baby making lumps of meat!

Interesting article. http://www.thefword.org.uk/features/2008...

Erin - posted on 09/10/2010

I think most of us have agreed that the term 'rape' is probably not the best choice when referring to birth trauma. I think it stems from the idea that rape is about power, and having someone conduct medical procedures on you against your wishes is also an exertion of power. From what I've read, that's how the term 'birth rape' has developed recently.

Toni, good for you for making a complaint. And Shannon, I hope you reported your case as well!

Toni - posted on 09/10/2010

But a violation of your rights in that kind of way (injections against your will) is NOT rape. I have experienced something similar to that myself, when I was pregnant I suffered a heavy bleed (where I thought I had miscarried -luckily not), while at the hospital the doctor tried to take a few viles of blood (as they do) but after 3 attempts of sticking the needle in and waggling to try and hit a vein he had still NOT got any blood (he tried in really odd places - halfway down my forearms on both left and right and the back of my thumb). I was in agony and so refused him permission he went mad at me and then attempted to stick the needle in again against my will I moved my arm and told him in no uncertain terms that my permission was removed he was not to lay a hand on me again. Yes it was a violation (amongst many other issues I had with this particular hospital thank goodness it was not my local) for which I put in an official complaint but a violation is not rape.

Shannen - posted on 09/09/2010

Wow Carol thats horrible for any woman who experienced it.

Erin, Exactly. It's such a fine line.

I was given pethidine against my will with my 1st child in the same manner as the person you know of and thats a violation of rights and thats where the issues start.

Johnny - posted on 09/09/2010

Up to the mid 60's it was fairly common practice to strap women to beds, medicate them into unconsciousness and physically push the baby out. Women would awaken hours later to find out that they'd had a baby who was being cared for in the nursery. This was called the 'Twilight Sleep'. It left women with no memory of the birth of their child and made breastfeeding initiation next to impossible (often never even offered as an option in the hospital). I know that my mother's mother had 3 of her 5 children in this manner here in Canada in the late 40's and early 50's.

Erin - posted on 09/09/2010

I don't think women are literally strapped to the beds anymore. Maybe what Juleah was getting at was that, with the rate of intervention, many women are confined to the bed because of EFM and IVs?? I'm assuming that's what she meant. That, in and of itself, would certainly not qualify as birth trauma IMO, as it is standard practice in many hospitals and should be either prepared for or alternative arrangements made.



Highly interventional birth, while not desired by many (myself included) is not what this is about. As far as I can understand, birth trauma is when a birthing woman's bodily rights are violated against her will. Many women are absolutely fine with every intervention in the book, and not the least bit shocked or distressed with that experience because it is what they have discussed during their prenatal care. And yes, sometimes birth does turn into a true emergency, where all efforts to resolve the situation must be undertaken swifty, perhaps without time to have long discussions with the labouring woman and her support people. To me, birth trauma falls somewhere in between. Someone I know was given a shot of pethidine against her wishes (it had been offered, she had declined, the midwife did it during a contraction anyway). That is just one example of how someone would feel violated during birth by having their choices ignored. That is birth trauma.

Stifler's - posted on 09/09/2010

I've never heard anyone say they were strapped down during labour either. Has anyone on here been strapped down?

Katherine - posted on 09/09/2010

They used to strap women down.....I haven't heard of it happening in the States.

Stifler's - posted on 09/09/2010

Strapping people to a bed is a restraint and requires a doctors order and reasons for the restraint. Since when do they restrain women during labour??

JuLeah - posted on 09/09/2010

Our mid wife told us that the birth is (usually) easier, smoother, safer, when the mother is in charge, when she is comfortable in her body/with her body, when she is educated about the process and the options in the event of ....



When the mother is frightened, traumatized, disempowered, uneducated, ashamed of her body (naked in front of others) there are more complications, more trips to the ER, more C-Sections, more babies die, more mothers die .....



Our mid wife said the facts speak for themselves - most women in her experiance are having an easy labor until they arrive at the hospital and all control is taken from them, they are strapped to a bed, IV's given, instruments inserted .... then they freak and it goes downhill



I never thought of putting the word rape to this. I am not sure it is a good fit, as the word implies a complete lack of empathy, a need to dominate/control/cause pain



Doctors are ignorant about so many many things, but have proven over time that they can learn - think of labor in the 1960's - improvements have been made because women have found and used their voice ... we need to keep talking

Katherine - posted on 09/09/2010

My second birth was a nightmare! I felt totally violated and disrepected and ignored. I'm still not over it. I don't call it rape by any means, but by the definition I just put up, the true meaning of rape is to seize. I definitley felt taken over. I kept telling the nurses and doctors that I couldn't BREATHE and they ignored me. I had a deep mucousy cough, which they also ignored. I could barely WALK, I was coughing so hard I was peeing my pants. The next day I went to my PCP, and low and behold I had pneumonia. Should I get over THAT????? I should have raised hell. They did a lot wrong in that hospital. Am I scarred for life? No. Am I pissed? YES.

Should I suck it up? Hell no, and to say "Oh just let them do what they have to do." Well, again it's all circumstantial.

Shannen - posted on 09/09/2010

Emma thats right it is.....But women need to be informed and have the choice. I never wanted full control over my labour but i wanted to know what they had plans of doing and for them to discuss it with me not have them Just do it because they apparently know better.

Stifler's - posted on 09/09/2010

Whatevs. Labour is a violating experience in itself. You can't control everything.

Shannen - posted on 09/09/2010

So a woman who feel violated during labour should just get over it and move on just because she was in labour and Dr have to do what they have to?
There were no emergencies for me and yet i feel mildly violated during my most recent labour and i have never had "prior Traumas".

I Didn't realise i felt so strongly about this thread until now :s

Laura - posted on 09/09/2010

these doctors are who they are to make sure they get the baby out safely and mom as well.. im sorry but i would like to believe that most ob's will do what they need to do to do this and im sorry for these women who probably have had some prior traumas, sexually, but these are issues that they need to work out b4, or during pg so they can have a chance at having a nice birth, even with complications, it happens people! with my first son who had troubles getting out i was like do what you need to do which was an emergency c,

Katherine - posted on 09/09/2010

I didn’t have a birth plan but I had a LOT of things done which I don’t think needed to be done but I wasn’t given the choice they just did it.

That's what this is about. Not having a CHOICE. By law you have certain RIGHTS. I don't think women realize this and of course a doctor isn't going to tell you.
Quick little history lesson: Rape comes from the Latin word Rapere which means to seize. So really we made the definition of the term, but that really isn't the true meaning.

Erin - posted on 09/09/2010

I can completely see how labelling birth trauma with the word 'rape' would be insensitive to victims of abuse and sexual assault. This is partly why I don't like the terminology.

The fact that everyone's perceptions are different is the very reason why we can't discount someone else's pain and feelings. I watched a birth doco recenty where the woman used the gas - and still screamed - for an internal. Part of me thought, 'man my internals didn't hurt like that! WTF!!'. The other part realised that I don't know this woman's history, her life or her pain. It doesn't mean she is 'weak', it just means her experience was different.

Fiona - posted on 09/09/2010

Hmmm... Emma that is a fair point and I can see exactly what you mean, although I hardly think the women using the term would feel like they are joking about rape. It is a powerful word that describes an horrific and absolute degradation and violent, physical assault; I wonder if it is in fact the very power and strength of the term rape that leads some women to use it to describe their birth experience rather than them using their experience to remove power from the word. One of the posters in the discussion on the original article wrote something that I think fairly effectively sums up what I am trying to say, (I do not agree when they say we should use the phrase all the time, but do agree with the sentiment they express):

"If the phrase "birth rape" raises awareness of the trauma women pointlessly suffer in childbirth at the hands of others, we should all use it all the time. Using the term rape gratuitously is horrifically insensitive to the victims of actual rape, but that is not what is going on here."

Toni - posted on 09/09/2010

Rape is when a person is forced to have sex against a their will. Traumatic labours although horrendous are NOT rape and to say it is is disrespectful to true rape victims, you cannot compare the two events.

Personally I feel that birth plans are to blame for many traumatic births (not all), as women set their heart on one thing, be it a water birth or a full epidural birth, without being open to the reality that labour cannot be predicted and our plans have to be flexible and open to change. If women allowed the flexiblity of their birth plans I feel they would be less 'traumatised' with negative outcomes (obviously excluding unforseen medical emergencies).

Shannen - posted on 09/09/2010

Sharon i usually love what you have to say.

"My guess is those weak willed, uninformed, uneducated, women talked sunshine & roses and pink cheeked babies until they were as high as kites without ever discussing the nitty gritty shit on yourself, scream for help, see shit through a fog birth story with anyone, much less their doctors."

I am in NO way a weak woman for starters. My bad birth experience happened with my 3rd child not my 1st or 2nd so how was I uninformed and weak willed?
I am very open minded when it comes to birth and everything has to go with it. My Dr and I discussed EVERYTHING even with my 1st I didn’t go in thinking it was going to be a piece of cake. But with my 3rd I am very disappointed to how it went. I didn’t have a birth plan but I had a LOT of things done which I don’t think needed to be done but I wasn’t given the choice they just did it.
Dr’s DON’T always know best. I wish women would realise that.

Stifler's - posted on 09/09/2010

No they shouldn't. Calling uninformed unconsented medical procedures rape is like joking about rape when someone jumps on you. If it's not rape, it's not rape.

Fiona - posted on 09/09/2010

Sharon, I don't think that a woman who expresses herself and tells of her pain and trauma experienced during a traumatic birth should ever be accused of whinging or glory hounding or ever told to shut up. She is possibly just attempting to reconcile her feelings or seek reassurance or compassionate understanding regarding her birth and I think all women who feel the need should be given the chance to debrief about their experience and offered opportunity to heal themselves emotionally, for their sake and the sake of their children. The telling of their experience (should they wish to share) also puts out more information for women who wish to be informed of possibilities and adds to the knowledge of malpractice and unacceptable treatment outcomes which can only contribute to ensuring these are minimised for future women. You don't want to hear it, fine; don't listen, don't read the stories. But calling women weak-willed, uninformed and uneducated and telling them to grow up just adds insult to injury to someone who may have already experienced a horrible event. You are putting your own perception onto their experience by implying that the majority of women who had poor birth experiences brought it on themselves by being unrealistic.

Like I said, I don't agree with using the term Birth Rape as an official term when discussing birth trauma either, but each individual should be allowed to attach any term they wish to describe their personal experience. If any of you have read any of the comments that followed the original article in the OP, you will find a few stories there that to me perfectly justify the tellers application of their own terms to their experience. No matter our own experiences and perspectives, we have no right to callously deny someone the right to own and attribute a title to their personal experience. We can agree that it is ineffectual to use their term as an official term, but not criticise them for their perception.

Morgan - posted on 09/09/2010

I dont like the saying "birth rape" at all!!
but I do think some people are treated unfairly when it comes to giving birth.
I was 25 when I gave birth to my daughter but I look about 15, and for that I feel I was treated very poorly, the birth of my daughter was very scary, none of the doctors or nurses would answer any of my questions, I get teary eyed just writing this They were all very rude. They tried to give me the epidural 17 times after I said I no longer wanted them to try again they said to suck it up that being a mother was hard and if I had to have a c-section they would have to put me to sleep and I would miss the birth of my daugter, he heart rate dropped soon after and they made the choice to fill me back up with water to stop the cord from being pinched,
the nurse but my cathader (sp) in wrong and I begged and begged for them to take it out and put it back in properly they refused and after 6 hours in horrible pain the new nurse finally took it out and put it back in and guess what I felt fine, 48 hours later when I was 10cm I pushed for 4 hours with no luck I begged and begged for a c-section the nurse replied "you got yourself into this mess" I had been married for 2 years and my daughter was very planned so I dident understand all the rudeness it was new to me I had never givin birth and by this time I was terrified, They then came out with the forceps and said we have to get her out, I asked how it worked and if there were any side effects they said we dident have time to discuss it.They then had to try another 4 times to give me the spinal my back was black and blu by this time, but they finally got it in right.
My beautiful daughter had a 3 inch gash in the back of her head due to the forceps, the doctors respones was "well maybe you should have tried harder to push the baby out". My baby spent 6 days in the NICU and I had 33 stiches due to the forceps, I wasent givin any pain meds and was looked down on for not being able to make it every few hours to the NICU to feed the baby, I spent 9 days in the hospital and feel like I was treated like a child. It was very trumatic but still not rape.
lol sorry I went on and on and to Sharron I totally understand that we as mothers have to go through things we dont want to to have our babies........... but we should still be treated as humans.

Sharon - posted on 09/09/2010

I think there are extremes to everything. There are doctors who will be rude and condescending and possibly assault you using their position as a physician. But most of the stories I read her are just bitches whining about not getting their way. Their stories will change a half dozen times and end with "well I didn't want to go into all the details..." while whinging about their birth rape. SHUT UP. Stop glory hounding. Grow up.

I have probably read ONE real traumatic birth that could be compared to rape and strangely that woman lost her legal case.

Didn't we just pretty much agree a persons' perceptions of what has happened and a different persons' perception of what has happened often and can and does greatly differ from account to account?

My guess is those weak willed, uninformed, uneducated, women talked sunshine & roses and pink cheeked babies until they were as high as kites without ever discussing the nitty gritty shit on yourself, scream for help, see shit through a fog birth story with anyone, much less their doctors.

Rosie - posted on 09/09/2010

i think likening it to rape is definitely wrong. ask a woman whose been raped and see how she feels about the comparison, wouldn't go over very well i bet.
and about episiotomies, i do think the doctor should tell you what is going on with that one. with my first child she had told me to stop pushing, didn't really explain why, so i didn't stop (i wanted him OUT). she was trying to prep me for an episiotomy, and it didn't happen and i ripped from my pisser to my pooper. i was in pain for months afterward. jagged tears DO NOT heal better than clean straight ones. i got infected, and basically when i had sex for the first time 10 months later it still hurt. if only i had gotten the episiotomy.
i definitely feel that birth trauma can be real, calling it rape is not right at all.

Jessica - posted on 09/09/2010

The impression I get, and this may or may not be wrong- is that the kinds of birth experiences that this article references are NOT your typical experiences. I can totally see how sometimes, for whatever reason, a woman has a very traumatic experience that goes beyond "normal" protocols in delivery, and could be very akin to rape. That is a strong word to use, but I can see the intent. I've read some pretty sickening birth stories to be honest. I absolutely don't think women should "give up control" of their birth experience just because it has the potential to be risky. Women should always be able to have some amount of autonomy and control of the situation- which includes things like being informed of what is going on throughout the process, of risks, and yes being ASKED before she is checked internally. When you take away those few simple aspects of respect I could see how the situation could quickly turn traumatic.

I don't consider my son's birth traumatic, but my doctor did give me an episiotomy without asking or telling me. I didn't know until after- I guess I didn't feel it because of the epidural. I was too overwhelmed at the time to be pissed, but when I thought about it afterwards I sure was! I had no complications during delivery and had only been pushing for a HALF HOUR. I highly doubt he NEEDED to cut me. But it was over and done with, and now I'm seeing midwives and going to a birth center where they don't do things like that automatically.

Petra - posted on 09/09/2010

I'm totally harshed out by this... When taken out of context, having things/hands inserted without your expressed consent or understanding sure sounds like rape, but come on. No one would liken a pap smear to a sexual violation (even to a young teen who doesn't know what the eff is going on), and childbirth almost always results in being subjected to foreign objects going up your hoo-ha. Some doctors thought, and some still do, that an episiotomy will assist in getting the job done. They may have to break your water for you and stick those things up there to do so. These are the kind of things you discuss with your doctor in the multitude of appointments leading up to your delivery. I understand there are going to be exceptions with unduly cruel doctors & nurses, but for the most part, these people know what they are doing and though they may not ask you if they can stick something up there, they will tell you that they are going to. You are in an extremely vulnerable position and you might not be in a position to refuse or to even grasp what it is they are saying to you, but to correlate that with rape? Tell that to an actual rape victim and don't be surprised if you really piss her off.

Unless your birth plan works out to your satisfaction, you are likely going to be traumatized. Childbirth was the single most humiliating, painful, undignified, and yes, traumatic, experience of my life, but I left that feeling in the delivery room. To turn around and say that it is a violation of your body is just... I can't even find the word right now. I have friends, family and acquaintances who have brutal horror stories about childbirth but no one has gone anywhere near the words "assault" or "rape". They chalked it up to a really shitty birthing experience and moved on. I can't lend this idea any real credibility - the exceptions need to be treated as such, but childbirth is brutal and invasive and being subjected to hands and other things frequently going up there is pretty much a given. If you're contracting and in pain and they rattle off what is going to happen and you don't catch it and later on you get mad because it happened to conflict with your birth plan, tough. I think we've already got enough labels and categories for people to stick themselves into when they are unhappy and want to blame someone else for it and get special treatment because of it. This whole idea of "birth rape" is going way too far. Unless something really f'd up happened, just move on.

Tara - posted on 09/09/2010

I disagree with the use of the word rape, I believe it minimizes the actual act of rape as defined by a dictionary. Women who have been raped suffered more than just having fingers or objects inserted into them.
I think using that term is insensitive to those who have been raped or sexually abused. Birth trauma and feeling as though you weren't allowed enough autonomy is one thing and it's a horrible thing, but they ought to name it something else that pertains more to the actual events and less to an event that has such violent and negative connotations.

Ashley=) - posted on 09/09/2010

About the episiotomy i was told by the doctor they were going to do it and i said NO.Then he looked really mad and pist of and i said OKAY IF I REALLY NEED IT.

Doctor said okay next contraction i will cut..the midwife said in a stern voice "she said no,looks at me and says "you said no".."do you want it"?..i said no actually i really dont want it.



I never needed it,she came out perfectly..just grazed me and one small cut.I was delighted to have that midwife stand up for me..as i would of had to recover from a bigger cut if she had let him on..:-)

Tracey - posted on 09/09/2010

The dictionary of rape is the unlawful compelling of a woman to have sexual intercourse through physical or mental force. So no, giving birth is in no way rape, assault, GBH in extreme cases but not rape.

Kimberly - posted on 09/09/2010

I find that using the word 'rape' to describe child birth very troubling and a bit thoughtless for the women who have actually been rape! I had wanted a drugfree birth and ended up having a emergemcy c-section, I had never wanted one or planned for one but when they said my baby wasnt coming out any other way, everything else changed and I just wanted my baby safe. Yes its was scarey and you dont know everything that is going on around you but I would rather be told some things later and have a safe healthy baby then take the time to tell me everything and loss my child. There is always a chance with ever birth that it might not go to plan and it could be stressful/tramua no means is that rape

Stifler's - posted on 09/09/2010

I don't think it was bitchy. I'm just saying they wouldn't suggest or recommend these things unless they thought it would make things easier for women giving birth.

Erin - posted on 09/09/2010

lol no worries Shannen. Your post didn't seem out of place to me, and I certainly didn't think you were a bitch!
And you're right - COMs is a friggin joke right now.

Shannen - posted on 09/09/2010

Grrrr COM is frustrating atm. When i posted there hadn't been any dialogue between Emma and Erin, even after i had refreshed it, Sorry guys looks like i was just being a bitch but i wasn't.

Shannen - posted on 09/09/2010

Emma, If i had a Dr telling me i needed and episitomy i would have told him where to go. I don't really give a flying rats arse what his credentials are. With my last child i had 2nd degree tearing due to how fast he came out and the pain from that was bad enough i'd hate to have to deal with an episiotomy instead of a tear from what i ahve heard they are 10 times worse pain wise and take twice as long to heal.

Rape is way to harsh of a word to use but there has got to be something to describe it. I feel that my last labour almost falls into this catagory. I in no way feel like it was "rape" But i feel i was over handled and made to do things ididnt really want to do all because Dr and Hospital guide lines say that it is how a woman with GDM needs to be dealt with.
If i ahd it my way and lived where we had Home midwives then i sure as hell would have opt for a home birth where i would have been in control but with guidance of a professional.

Erin - posted on 09/09/2010

In talking about birth trauma (I won't call it birth rape) I'm certainly not questioning the credentials, or even intentions, of medical staff. I think they do the best with what they've got, and are working within a set of restrictive guidelines dictated by hospital policies and insurance companies.

Erin - posted on 09/09/2010

Crap I think COM just lost one of my posts!! Grrrrrrr

Sarah - posted on 09/09/2010

I don't think it should be called rape. It isn't rape. Assault? Maybe, but certainly not rape.

I actually refused an internal while in labour. When I got moved to a different hospital, they were trying to say that I'd been "uncooperative" and had refused it for no reason. I had to tell the staff at the new hospital that the reason I'd refused it was because it had HURT (imagine that in 10 foot letters with flashing neon!) it was like having a red hot poker put inside me. When I refused though.......they respected that.

I personally never felt pressured and I was not forced to do anything (although I had a lot done)

I don't think that women should be forced or pressured into procedures they don't want, but I do think that they should be offered them and be made aware of the risks of having those procedures or not. While I do think that *some* women have a natural instinct for these things, I also think that these doctors and midwives have trained for a LONG time, they do have a pretty good idea of what is going on! :)

Stifler's - posted on 09/09/2010

It must be really different in the USA I guess. I've heard people say they have to see their OB/GYN all the time and I never saw an obstetrician once during my pregnancy. Or during the birth lol. They do seem to have a lot more medical intervention than here.

Erin - posted on 09/08/2010

Not in Australia, but routine episiotomies are still done in the US and other places. Again, if this is something that a birthing woman and her doctor have agreed on, good luck to them. But there is no way a woman's vagina should be cut without her permission.

Stifler's - posted on 09/08/2010

Would they even ask if you were having a normal delivery though?

Erin - posted on 09/08/2010

I actually did have an episiotomy, because I had a forceps-delivery. Obviously I consented to that. But if I was having a normal vaginal delivery and a doctor said they wanted to do the episiotomy I would be asking why.

Stifler's - posted on 09/08/2010

So what if it's necessary and you say no?

Erin - posted on 09/08/2010

Suggesting that an episiotomy is necessary is VERY different to going ahead and doing it without getting the mother's consent. If your doctor advises you that they want to cut, and you agree... great! Informed consent is a wonderful thing. The term birth trauma or birth rape only gets thrown around when a woman's right to choose gets undermined.