Breastfeeding children who are older

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[deleted account]

i think that when the mom or baby are not interested or uncomfortable with it then you shoudl stop, whether the baby self weans or you wean them.

Merry - posted on 05/25/2012

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Triandum breastfeeding isn't as rare as it sounds :-) on a bf Facebook page a bit ago the question was asked if anyone fed three at a time. I was shocked to see 30+ responses of triandum feeding!
Most had twins and a singleton but some had three singletons.

[deleted account]

I believe in self weaning, each of my older children stopped breastfeeding at different ages. I am still breastfeeding my 3 and 1 year old daughters. My 5 year old son weaned himself a month ago. My oldest son who is 12 years old stopped when he was 6. Whatever is comfortable between the mother and child.

Merry - posted on 05/24/2012

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And technically Sherri, they do need breastfeeding beyond a year.
The american academy of family physicians states that "weaning a child before the second year puts the child at increased risk of illness"
So really, they 'need' it til 2. But really, a year of breastfeeding is quite the accomplishment and quite enough if that's all mom is willing to do. It's a big committment and it's so rare these days. I have clients who only nurse a matter of days but I always be sure to make sure they understand just how wonderful of a job they did. It's hàrd work and any effort at all deserves praise IMO.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 05/24/2012

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First off, I was not the only one to state this. Secondly, I held them. I cuddled them. I walked around, while patting their back, Laura. I surely did NOT take my boob out because they were crying, unless they were hungry (time for them to eat). I also feed on a schedule, once they are 3 months. From newborn to 3 months, I free feed.



ETA:

My daughter and my son, did not like pacifiers and neither did I. I did however, try them with it. I just did not force it. I tried it, they didn't like it, so I threw it away. ;) I think I tried once... I just do not like the idea of them. Sorry, if that bothers you. **sigh**

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Becky - posted on 05/27/2012

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I weaned my first 2 because I was pregnant again and I just couldn't do it anymore. I was 4 months pregnant when I weaned them, both times. My oldest was 14 months and weaned pretty easily, my middle one was 23.5 months and was a nightmare to wean. I finally had to cut him off cold turkey because it felt like my nipples were on fire every time he latched. I want to let Adam self-wean, since we are not planning on any more kids, but, I'm not sure how comfortable I am going past 2, so we'll see what happens if he is still nursing when he gets to 2. That's still a ways off, since he's just 4 months now!

Janet - posted on 05/26/2012

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I am totally mom-led weaning myself, and don't have any opinion on what other mom's do honestly. My daughter nursed till 8months (introduced formula in a bottle at 7 months and she made her choice) and my son I nursed till 14.5months and I'm positive he would have kept going, but not I. Frankly I never really enjoyed it and only did it because it was the best thing for my babies (and I'm cheap haha). Would I nurse a 3rd child, absolutely...would I let that child decide when to stop, no way!

Merry - posted on 05/26/2012

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I only pull out my breast when I think they want to eat as well Sherri. I never think, hmm why don't you comfort suck now. I just don't keep track of when I last fed her. IF she acts like she needs the boob I know she's hungry. If she plays around with it not really eating then I put it away. It's not like I enjoy her sloshing the nipple aorund her mouth aimlessly lol.

She does derive comfort from nursing though and I think that's good and normal and healthy. It's food, but it's also comfort and bonding and emotional trust building etc. it's just nice.
I think we are more similar then it appears. Our wording just is different sometimes.

Sherri - posted on 05/26/2012

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Kel my son is 3mo's and I am EBF right now. He eats pretty much on schedule and I know when he is hungry and just when he is fussy. If he is just fussy I will not just give him my breast for comfort, sorry but that is for food only. He refuses a pacifier so he either uses his thumb or his blankie. Then I will also rock him, rub his back, walk and bounce him etc.

[deleted account]

to respond to laura and meme about letting them suck for comfort or not...and schedule feeding or not.

I HATE schedule feeding but i really tried to schedule feed when my baby was born due to severe reflux and her Paed saying that if she is overfed her pain would be worse. I would not let her cry if i knew it was possible that she was hungry. I knew she was in pain which is why i tried to comfort in other ways.(btw i rarely made it to 2 hours in the early months so the schedule feeding didn't really work anyway)

I think schedule feeding unless absolutely necessary is ridiculous...meme how did you know that when your baby hit 3 months he/she could not possibly get hungry till "feed time" geez...thank god i don't get told i can only eat every 4 hours,at least though,im capable of understanding, unlike a new baby who overracts to pain and do not realize that hunger is any different to pain...

As for sucking when they need comfort,my little one doesn't really need to suck for comfort and never took a pacifier...i've offered more feeds when she is sick and she will take it but isn't that interested. She is not one of those babies who cries a lot or needs consoling but i think they should be given whatever they need to comfort them....anyone who says that spoils them,to me is very very harsh !!!

Vicki - posted on 05/25/2012

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I can 'one-up' on the triandem feeding. I've got a friend who is feeding her 4 year old (just once a day), 2 year old (twice a day) and her 5 month old twins (lots!). Those twins aren't missing out at all, growing like mushrooms :)

Celeste - posted on 05/25/2012

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Generally, I believe it's up to mom and child. If mom feels uncomfortable nursing, past say 1, then that's where she should wean. If mom feels comfortable self weaning, then that's what she should do.

Me? I'm not sure where I fit in. My daughter weaned at 17 months (she was combo fed). My twin boys were nursed until 3 1/2 and 4 1/2. Though, I placed limits on them-I didn't let them nurse "on demand" I guess. I night weaned them at around 18 months, and then started placing limits on them until I got them down to 2 times a day, and then once a day. One weaned at 3 1/2-he decided he was done. My other twin, I am the one who encouraged the weaning at 4 1/2 (he would've been fine to continue but I was done)

Merry - posted on 05/25/2012

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There's a lot of mothering stuff I do that I don't really like lol.
And ironically my aversion to nursing Eric that came on while I was pregnant actually went away after a while. I'm sure there's plenty of mom stuff we all do that we don't find enjoyable. Butwe do it for our kids and for their happiness or well being or whatever.
You gotta pick your areas to push through and which to say no to, so obviously this is a personal choice for just the mom and child to decide but IMO I'd rather let him nurse when he asks then let him eat off my plate and insist I share every meal with him regardless of if I gave him his own identical food. Now That I can't handle. Breastfeeding a three year old is no biggie lol

Rosie - posted on 05/25/2012

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i think when the mother decides it to be done it should be done. whether that means 4 months or 4 years. i cannot wrap my head around giving my body to my child like that after i don't want to do it. i would resent the child for it.
i am like sherri that i think it should all stop at 1 year since they are plenty capable of finding other ways of comfort, and don't "need" breastmilk. but what someone else does with their child is their own business, and they aren't being hurt so meh..

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/25/2012

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I imagine it was, especially with a newborn that wants to be latched on 24 hours a day like my kids were.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/25/2012

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Well it is new to me Laura, and I am impressed with her.

Sylvia - posted on 05/25/2012

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Well, yeah, if we're using STRICT definitions I guess I'd have to say what we did was "child-led weaning" rather than "self-weaning" -- there certainly came a point where I was totally willing to say "You can have meh-mehs later."

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/25/2012

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Nutmeg, WHOLLY CRAP! You were at one point BFing 3 kids???

Lisa - posted on 05/25/2012

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The standard would be from 2 1/2 to 7 years on worldwide average. Culturally in America we push weaning along with potty training too fast believing it 'has to be done'. Of course thanks to our country which worships business there are no safeguards that force them to allow easy access to BF. This many women have no choice but to end it early.

Vicki - posted on 05/25/2012

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Depends how pedantic you want to be about definitions! In my mind, complete self weaning would be not refusing breastfeeds at all, the child deciding when to stop altogether. My almost 3 year old is still breastfeeding, but I say no to him an awful lot! I generally don't feed him while we are out anymore, or I"m busy, or I just don't feel like it. I'll most likely leave the final decision to stop up to him but in the meantime he's learning to take my needs into account as well as his, and developing breastfeeding manners. (ie not just shouting 'BOO MUM!' and pulling my top up, but asking 'Please can I have some boo Mum')

[deleted account]

I lean toward natural weaning. This isn't strictly the same as self weaning, it's more of a process of child eating a good meal at the table and becomming less interested in milk. As the child eats more and more, the milk supply starts to dwindle. I had a 1 year old eating 3 small portions of table food each day and the milk eventually departed. We didn't offer the breast during the family meal time. I'm not saying it'll work for everyone, but it worked for us and we are one of only a few entirely slim families in our neighborhood (we are in America by the way). We clean our large plates for every meal and we have one fruit snack each day. We are all within the normal hight/weight ratio and we mostly eat healthy food. We are hardly ever hungry, but we know exactly what we we consume every day because we have 3 mostly heatly meals and one snack.

Sal - posted on 05/24/2012

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i weaned, at variying ages....and it was for each baby because my supply was poor....i probally could of done more to keep it or build it up again but i disliked it and i simply didn;t have the time to dedicate to rest sleep around the clock feeds (the things i was recomended at the time) to get it back up, if my supply had remained i doubt i would of gone past 12 months anyway as i am not comfortable with it...i have resepect for those who choose to bf for 2 plus years even though it isn;t my cup of tea and all I ask is that that respect is returned..

Janice - posted on 05/24/2012

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I personally am a weaner (LOL I'm a wiener). Anyways I weaned my daughter at 17 months but I started limiting feeds at 10 months. Went from 6 daytime and 1-2overnight feeds to 1 before bed over 6.5 months. I would have kept the last bedtime feed until she turned 2 but she kept biting my sensitive newly pregnant nipples and I just couldn't deal.

I plan to do something similar with my son. I do think that if you choose to wean you should do it slowly. Going cold turkey at 1 year is just cruel in my opinion.



I have no desire to continue beyond 2 years, but any mom and child that does want to keep going should.



I may get flack for this but if your 6-7 year old is still wanting to breastfeed then I do think you need to take the initiative to wean

Merry - posted on 05/24/2012

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You sounded like you literally offered no comfort which you now clarified you did.
It was just bad wording I guess.
And Sherri never said that she refused them pacifiers.
0-3 months is the key time IMO where they need to comfort suck anyways so if you fed on cue in that time then I have no issues with that.
At 3 months I stopped allowing my son the pacifier but I did nurse him whenever he wanted and never watched the clock. And he also sucked his thumb.
Hes big into comfort :) even now as a preschooler he's quite snuggly.
Thanks for clarifying. That sounds a lot less cold to me.

Merry - posted on 05/24/2012

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So............how do you allow them to be comforted?
Sucking IS how babies are designed to be comforted ya know. So if they can't have the God given way to be comforted, and they can't have the man made way either, then how do you allow them to find comfort meme?

Babies are supposed to be comforted by the breast. That's how God/nature designed them!
Denying it seems cold.
As least let them have a pacifier for goodnes sakes!

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 05/24/2012

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That is how I look at it too, Sherri, but I will go to 18 months. I also, do not allow any use of breastfeeding or bottles as comfort. I do not use pacifiers, though, ever. The only time I would, is if they were premi's and needed to learn how to suck.

However, I realize it is different for everyone and I do not look down on others that want to do it different. It is their boobs, not mine. ;)

Sherri - posted on 05/24/2012

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I stop them when I am ready. They have zero say in the matter and I will never breastfeed past their first birthday.

For us breastfeeding, bottle feeding and pacifiers are all for babies and one year they are capable of eating and drinking cows milk and for us their is no further need. I do not let them use breastfeeding for comfort only for food and at a year they no longer need it for nourishment.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 05/24/2012

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I agree with Rachael, 100%.

I am a weaner, here. Although, for those Mom's that allow the child to self wean, that is completely their choice. I just have a certain cut off point. It is just what is important to me and what I feel is best for my kids. That doesn't mean I think it is the same for everyone else. For this topic, to each is own, IMO.

Merry - posted on 05/24/2012

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My son is 3 and is self weaning. He nurses every 4-6 days or so. I assume he will be done any time now, though he could continue with this pattern a while I suppose.
Self weaning was my goal. And I'm glad I did/am doing it.
It feels natural and gentle.

Jaime - posted on 05/24/2012

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I think it's a combination of what the parent is comfortable with and the child's own readiness. Self-weaning is great, but it's not possible for everyone. It's definitely something a parent or parents who want to breast feed should discuss before baby is born, but they should also be open to changing a routine if that's what the situation calls for.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/24/2012

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I weaned. In retrospect I wish I had gone a bit longer. My daughter was 15 months old, and I am sure she would have been an extended bfder, but I did not want to go that long. I do wish I had at least gone until 20 months, or closer to 2. I was just at my wits end.

Sylvia - posted on 05/24/2012

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I let mine self-wean. She was somewhere around 4 and a half. But she'd been down to a few minutes once a day for a long time before then.

[deleted account]

Let them self wean i think. Well that's if you don't have to go back to work.

I don't see the need to wean a child of any age,i don't think there is a cut off age where bf-ing becomes "wrong" so unless a woman is really over it and the baby is at least 1 then i would say just keep it going till they are ready...it's pretty easy (for me anyway) . I only feed my 14 month old 3 times a day and i have no interest in leaving her with anyone so theres no need for me to wean.

I understand why some women want to stop though,if they have a very clingy constant breast feeder that's over 2 years old...that would really bother me i think.

Lisa - posted on 05/23/2012

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Of course i post this before i see there was another subject about this just closed *Face palm*

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