Breastfeeding- how long is too long in your opinion?

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 12/22/2011 ( 411 moms have responded )

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This is stemming from the other thread about the Duggars. One poster stated that over 6 months was just strange and another poster stated that WHO says that 2 years is perfect. My own opinion is that whenever you feel weird about it stop, but anything after 2 in my opinion is very odd.

This isn't to bash formula mommies or bash formula or whatnot. Play nice. I have to go do laundry because my Breast fed baby is a poopy baby.

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Minnie - posted on 12/22/2011

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I suppose we haven't done this one in the last few months.



It's up to the individual nursing dyad. My daughter will be nursing for as long as we both are comfortable with it.



She's three years old and I don't see an end in the near future.



Most of us set an arbitrary time limit on what is 'odd.' Do I think nursing an eight year old is odd? Yes. Odd to me. But I highly doubt an eight year old would be nursing multiple times a day- based on the normal rate of self-weaning by that time I would suspect it would be down to bed times once a week or so. I don't see it hurting anything.

Ania - posted on 02/01/2012

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I've noticed that a lot of moms say: it is weired to me to BF a child...and then they put age on it at 1,2 3,4 8 years old... It is so judgmental and I believe disrespectful to BF moms. I understand that those are personal opinions, but it only seems weired to you because you have not done it. BF women continue to BF because their babies need it, at any age until they wean and they made the decision that they will BF until their kids decide to self- wean that's all. Nothing weired about it. What If I said that it is weired that someone feeds their baby formula right from the start? I would probably be attacked imediately by people who would say: Oh she probably couldn't do it, or she had supply issues or she was tired and wanted her baby in the nursery. Tons of excuses. That's why I would not say it is weired, because this word in this context puts women down

Vicki - posted on 01/15/2012

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I haven't heard of any babies routinely being given vit D here, something to do with being too bloody sunny in this country I guess.



Funny how any discussion on bfing, no matter what the topic, comes down to bf versus formula. I thought this was about 'how long is too long'? Not really anything to do with formula as the length of breastfeeding we are talking about (generally 2 years plus) is much longer than the time formula is usually given. (Except for those toddler formulas, now THERE's a marketing gimmick if I've ever seen one)



Breastfeeding is the biologically normal way to feed a baby, formula is an adequate substitute in most cases. It's not really a 'better than' argument, that's how it is.

Minnie - posted on 12/26/2011

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i see sooo many women here talking about how they (the child) can't go somewhere overnight, or the parents can't go on vacation without kids because the child will be upset if they don't get to nurse. that's just ridiculous IMO. the child at that age doesn't NEED it to survive.



I think it might be nice to avoid using words like ridiculous. Mothers who nurse to natural duration could just as easily say it's ridiculous to not do so. No one likes to be called ridiculous, or their children to be called ridiculous.



I'm pretty sure there are plenty of non-breastfed toddlers who would not be comfortable being away from their mothers during the night. I bet plenty of them would be quite destraught. I bet there are plenty of 5,6, 7,8 year old NON nurslings who would not be comfortable with their parents going away on vacation.



I wonder if it's still simply the idea that it is a breast that's the issue? Why is it more acceptable for a child to be comforted by a blanket?



We understand that natural duration breastfeeding isn't a choice that many in our culture make. We just wish to explain our feelings more- and perhaps not be seen as whackos....or ridiculous.



Just as a disclaimer, if I come off as totally confusing or really annoying I apologize, my face feels like it was plowed into by a mack truck, lol.

Krista - posted on 01/15/2012

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Breastfeeding is the biologically normal way to feed a baby, formula is an adequate substitute in most cases. It's not really a 'better than' argument, that's how it is.



THANK YOU, Vicki. That's exactly it. Breastmilk isn't going to magically give your child superpowers and an Einstein-level IQ, and formula isn't going to turn your child into a dumbass. One is just the normal, natural way to feed a baby, and the other is, as you say, an adequate substitute.



Just a quick aside about the bonding: I found I was actually better able to bond with my baby while bottle-feeding. Why? Because I wasn't stressed. I wasn't worried about supply and whether I was giving him enough, and beating myself up for not having that supply. I was able to relax, knowing he was getting enough, and could then just be in the moment --- looking down at his sweet, perfect little face as he drank, and as he looked up at me with that perfect infant expression of total trust. Your mileage may vary, of course, but it just goes to show that when it comes to families, sweeping generalizations rarely work.

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Aleks - posted on 02/01/2012

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Elfrieda,

Yeah, I was kind of defending Laura, but not because I thought you may dislike her, more to do with how things were worded.... it wasn't meant to be a personal defece of Laura, but a general one. If that makes any sense.

Elfrieda - posted on 02/01/2012

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@Aleksandra



Yes, you're probably right that some personalities have a harder time with missing "personal space" than others. That's what I understood "wanting your body back" to mean. I think most women (while of course wishing that they looked as good as before and making some effort in that direction) take the physical changes in stride as sort of a payment for the amazing experience of making a baby.



I'm not sure if your whole comment was directed at me or not, but maybe you were coming to Laura's defense? You don't need to on my account, I like her and wasn't making an attack.

Krista - posted on 02/01/2012

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Maree/Kel, you might also want to keep in mind that Laura has been in this group for long enough that we all have a fairly good handle on her personality, and know that when she makes statements like that, they're not meant in a judgmental fashion. Perhaps if we didn't know her, and she said those things, they would have been taken differently. But you came in here with judgmental statements before any of us had any sort of chance to get to know you, so as to be able to put those statements in context.



Another difference: if any of Laura's statements DID offend someone, and she was told so, she wouldn't hesitate in apologizing. When you were told that your statements were offensive, you claimed that you didn't give a sweet damn, because none of us are real people anyway.



So the words may be somewhat similar, but context DOES matter. Teresa, for example, could tease me by calling me a bitch, and I'd actually be quite tickled by it. But if some random person came in here and called me a bitch, then yes, I'd be irked.

Pam - posted on 02/01/2012

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yea, wanting your old body back has nothing to do with age. I was 27 with my first and 29 with my second. I made it my goal to have my kids before 30 and I just may have another one in my 30's if I feel up to the task. Still I was at my best weight before my babies were born and now I'm the biggest I have ever been, whilst breastfeeding. Fact is, I do crave weight loss, to feel good about my self and wear nicer clothes. Plus size clothes are just not as nice, breastfeeding is supposed to help with this, but apparently so is exercise and eating right. In the past month I have lost 12 pounds, but I still have about 70 pounds to go. Also, if your lighter, you have more energy to play with, chase the kids around and take them places. I do all of the above, but it would be easier if I were in shape again.



After breastfeeding for about 3 years straight, I'm starting to feel the need to take care of myself, the need to buy nail polish, lipstick, get my hair done, some new clothes. I want to feel pretty again! lol my kids are girls too so I want to show them mommy at her best and encourage them to be their best too.



Woman at all ages like to celebrate their best, breastfeeding doesn't have to mean frumpy, and sadly doesn't mean skinny in my case lol. I'll be honest I breastfed my first until 2.5 because 1. she was allergic to cows milk, and anything dairy, it was her only milk intake up until now. 2. It was how I put her to sleep, I was her human soother (being new to mommy-hood, you do what works) 3. I couldn't break her heart, she wanted mommies milk 4. we moved 3 times, had a baby sister, and went from home to daycare, back to home (transitions: mommies milk carried her through) 5. Because it was up to us, and we chose breast milk.



I dont like to judge other mothers mainly because I see that there are reasons for everything, meaning attached to actions and if you dont live with them then all your doing is looking into a window and judging their actions based on what you think is right or wrong without having the whole picture.



Judging others is a quality of inexperience, and will diminish (hopefully) in time. It also comes from a perspective of superiority over others. Which brings me to guess that maybe it's necessary for new mothers to gain esteem in their new found jobs, to feel uber confident in what they are doing, so they judge others. I dont know..... lol Every mother who Breastfeeds for however long does so out of love, it isn't the easiest thing to get used too, so it is out of love.

Aleks - posted on 02/01/2012

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@ Elfrieda

Actually... "wanting ones body back" and being young don't mean anything. And just cos you are "older" (whatever that means) doesn't mean you are automatically just want "your body back" either. I think that is rather presumptuous.

I had my first baby when I was few months shy of my 31st birthday. My second was at 34.

Believe you me, I had lived and experienced plenty as a "single" and also non parent life, and the only thing that I felt hindered with as a first time nursing mother was my freedom in alcohol intake (which I lacked while nursing). I also have a friend who did have a baby as a young woman (18.5yo) and she was reporting about some of the girls in her "young mums group" about how much these girls were wanting their bodies (and life) back. Heck, nursing or not, a first time mum will be at one stage or another missing "her old life" back, that is not the same as wanting one's "body back to oneself". Parenthood is a big adjustement on anybody, and *grieving* and *missing* the former life-style is normal and probably what majority of mothers (and fathers I guess) will go through.

Having issues with not feeling one has control of ones own body because of a mere little baby........ hmmmmmph......... different topic and way too many things to go into and psychoanalyse.

But to get back to what I was originally saying, I don't think age has anything to do with it, but an emotional and mental personality trait. Also probably a biggie is if your close circle of friends are single and still partying/hanging out or they settled into r/ships and parenthood themselves. If you are the 1st of your friends to have a baby, while they are still out doing the single life thing, then yeah...... you are gonna "miss" your body and your life a hell of a lot more than if you are among your friends also having babies and settling down into marriages/relationships, etc.

Maree - posted on 01/31/2012

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ok no worries megan...i just wanted to compare a few comments that can have several meanings...just as mine can,thats all.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/31/2012

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Kel, you're convinced that everyone is being secretly judgemental simply because you are openly judgemental.



Saying that a comment sounds selfish is not the same as someone stating that the person making the comment is selfish



Saying that babies should be fed by their moms can take two meanings. Either EBF or just mom should feed them whether it's bottle or breast.



Saying that she wants to home school isn't the same as saying the rest of us are wrong for sending our child to a public or private school.



Also as Elfrieda has stated Laura is younger than a few of us and may not have the same experiances so she honestly doesn't understand the feeling of not having something to ourselves.



Seriously MAREE it looks like you've a serious case of sour grapes and the poor me's. You don't see any of us as real people and we don't matter. So why does how we veiw your posts as opposed to someone else's really matter to you in the scheme of things? Finally speaking with you is akin to speaking with a china cabinet. Neither of which I wish to continue this evening.

Maree - posted on 01/31/2012

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Laura says "I think babies SHOULD be fed by their mums"



Laura, "there is nothing that would make me use a bottle when i have something better under my shirt"(is this suggesting that she is better or doing something better than someone else?)



Laura,"we were made in the image of God and he wants us to breast feed our babies"(are we sinners for not doing what God wants by bf-ing for a certain amount of time?)



Laura,"my life is centred around being a mom so breast feeding is a no brainer" (is this suggesting that bottle feeders lives are not centred around their kids?)



Laura,"I doubt you meant it this way but it comes across as so selfish"(word it however you want but the person this comment is aimed at IS being called selfish)



Laura,"Just another reason why i would NEVER send my kids to school unless i absolutely had to" (is this suggesting the rest of the world is doing the wrong thing by subjecting their kids to the nastiness of school !!!?)



There are soooooo many other comments that i don't want to quote in case they are worded slightly wrong but in my opinion(just as laura and others give theirs)I think these comments ARE judgments and i am very very interested as to why and how people seem to take everything that she says as nice or non judgmental when they clearly ARE judgmental. I'm sure you will still say that she is simply giving her opinion and NOT judging but thats BS..she IS judging and there is nothing wrong with that,I don't see the difference between these comments and some of mine like...



"I think babies should be breast fed"

"I think women should try harder to breast feed"

"I think many women make excuses"

" I will never understand why women want to work"



Of course i have made judgments that i expect to be debated...What i think is BS though is because i have made judgments that are harsh...that from then on...EVERYTHING i say (even if it is exactly the same as Laura) is considered to be bitchy,judgmental,me getting on my hight horse,being a troll etc...that is why i think some people n here are even more fake than me...because they pick and choose what they are going to call a "judgment",depending on who the person is, whether they like them or not and whether the particular comment applies to them or not...i can see so many contradictions here it's not funny.



Ps..Laura,the only reason i have used your comments is because i feel that you ARE making lots of judgmental comments and claiming that you are not judgmental. I see this more than with other posters. I am not saying you are wrong...or right...i don't really care what you say but like it or not i can see that in many ways,we think the same but you write it differently and somehow manage to get around all the sensitive people without copping a "virtual" bashing.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/31/2012

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Well, let me get out my violin and play 'my heart bleeds for you.



Kel/Maree your statements were more along the lines that FF moms don't try hard enough and you have a right to judge them. Unlike you Laura just says she doesn't understand and actually seems to listen (well read in this case) what other moms are saying to her- you don't. Plus we're not real people to you with real lives and real feelings so, why should it matter to you how people react to someone else who doesn't matter to you? Spare us.



I get what Kalloosit (I had to scroll down and cheat) Elfrieda and Krista are asking and saying.



My husband does a lot of work with our baby. He won't bathe her because he's paranoid of her falling in the water, but he feeds her, changes her, tries to watch her when I want 5 minutes to myself, and plays with her. So even if I didn't breastfeed I know DH would jump in with a bottle. I can't picture having a husband (well now- because my ex was deployed for the first 6 months of our daughter's life and then divorced me when she was 7 months old so I was a single mom for my first girl) who doesn't at least change a diaper and try to struggle a baby into clothes.



I had my first daughter at 23 and my second was born just before my 30th birthday (well 4 months before) so I'm lucky that I had a large space and time to enjoy being an adult and a mom. DH has to deal with me not needing to consult someone else on how to diciplin, what to make for dinner or what to watch on TV because I was single for a while then we lived on opposite ends of North America before we got married and I moved to BC. I'm still adjusting to married life in a city half the size of where I grew up.



Laura, it's like you said (I hope that was you) in Breastfeeding moms. Family can shape your opinions on things and so can life.

Maree - posted on 01/31/2012

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as much as i believe that laura is entitled to her opinion...i wonder why nothing much is said about her judgments ???

I clearly remember making similar statements !!

Krista - posted on 01/31/2012

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If I did bottle feed I doubt my husband would do much feeding anyways as I think babies should be fed by their mom.



If you don't mind me asking, what role DOES your husband play in your baby's life?



You think babies should be fed by their mom, and your husband won't bathe or change your daughter. What actual parenting DOES he do?



I'm just curious....

Pam - posted on 01/31/2012

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lol I totally mourned my single adult life and thought I may get some of it back but I ended up deciding to space my kiddies out 2 years, tandrum nursed for a few months before weening and now.....I crave a bit of my old life from time to time lol. I miss having a glass of wine with my mom or some friends on a patio with the sun lightly toasting your skin on a fresh summery day. The laughter and conversation, the ability to walk around in the market afterwards and shop. Adult hordruves, and listening to music late into the night with friends and waking up late and going for brunch lol.... It'll happen again one day, later in life.

Elfrieda - posted on 01/31/2012

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@Laura

Not to be mean, but you're really young. You went straight from being a kid playing house and getting bossed around by adults to being a real mom, with the demands of a house and getting bossed around by babies. :) You might not know what it's like to have grown-up time all to yourself.



It's pretty great, and I certainly mourned that part of my life and felt trapped when my son was born (whom I love and can't imagine not having, btw). Even now that he's 2 and way less demanding, I miss things that involve late nights, adult conversation that requires a whole brain (not half a brain checking on what my toddler is up to), and just making plans spur-of-the-moment and rushing out of the house within a minute, with no thought of how many diapers we might need, whether there will be something appropriate to feed a baby when we get there, if there will be a place to put him down for his nap, etc.



That's actually why I'm starting to think that it's better to get married and have kids really young, and then after they're older go out into the world and have fun, improve your mind and get involved in things like causes and careers, rather than starting all that, taking a break to raise some kids, and then getting back into it.



Even I can tell that I seem really condescending right now, but actually I think you're doing it right! (except for the being so judgemental part, but everybody is like that when they're young)

Janice - posted on 01/30/2012

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I totally get wanting your body back. However, for me I only feel like that during the newborn stage (ahem, right now!) and early infancy when I'm the only source of nutrition. But I think like Laura, why pay for food when my body makes something better for free. Anyways, I get how some women feel this way but its not enough for me to wean before a year.

Pam - posted on 01/30/2012

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it gets easier, in my exp and I dont speak for all, I can even sooth tears from a tumble through a few sips on the boob. My babies also loove water in a sippy cup and by a year I'll pump some milk in there and get a few hours 4 the movies from time to time. Its a personal choice, Mothers have way too big a jury of eyes judging them at every turn these days which may contribute to more postnatal depression and feelings of helplessness, which leads to anxiety and many other unfortunate things. Mothers need to feel in charge, they need autonomy and trust from society to do what they know in their hearts is best for baby. So, I wouldn't put a cap to what a mother thinks is best, we have our own sweetlings to care for ♥

Celeste - posted on 01/30/2012

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As I stated before, I nursed my twins into preschool, and I also have another child. It is hard with other kids. That's why I placed limits when my boys were close to 2. They didn't get to nurse whenever they wanted. I got them down to 3x's a day, then 2x's a day and then once a day.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/30/2012

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I do get where Sumi is coming from because there are times when I do want my body back and I don't feel tbat it's a selfish thought. It's a normal thought of a normal mom who is either stressed from being a human glass of milk or stressed because she doesn't feel as though she is her own person since she is always her baby's source of food. And stressful moms make stressed babies where as happy moms make happy babies.



Laura it is easy to feel it is a 'selfish' thought though if you've never had the thought. I know you weren't really stating that Sumi was selfish, but if you've never felt youself in that position it is easy to feel that way. Take myself for example, I wasn't breastfeed and I see no issue in my husband using a bottle to feed our baby because he does see that I get stressed sometimes. But after hearing my baby cry, I can't picture myself not self weaning because I can't bear to tell my baby no boob. Although I can't wait until I can give both girls to my MIL and go away for a weekend.



Honestly I can't picture my entire life revolving around just being a mom. I love that I can choose to send my daughter to a public school (Canada is rated 3rd in the world) and I have my certifications for my career choices and that my husband is sometimes a better 'mommy' than I am.

Sherri - posted on 01/30/2012

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Laura it is soooo hard when you have multiple children, plus on top of your own kids I have all the daycare kids and my own kids schedules it is such a huge commitment and honestly emotionally draining to me. I feel frustrated as their is only one of me but 5 other kids who need me and a tight schedule to keep.

Merry - posted on 01/30/2012

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I guess Maree that could make sense.

My kids don't do overnights. Heck they don't even do a few hours with grandma until a year!

If I did bottle feed I doubt my husband would do much feeding anyways as I think babies should be fed by their mom.

But I could see if I wanted to go out partying or to friends houses or on trips without my baby then bottles would be easier.

But my life is centered around being a mom. So breastfeeding is a no brainer.

I am home most of the days anyways.

Merry - posted on 01/30/2012

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I guess my husband must work more or something. I've never found feeding my kids to be an inconvenience. It's a quiet calm time here and there to reconnect to them and relax for a moment.

I've never felt they were taking over my personal space. And I'm nursing two!

I hold them, they eat, I put them down. Easy as can be. I'd imagine it takes more hassle to comfort them without a breast anyways.



I'm sorry I will never get it.

There's just nothing I can imagine that would make me use a bottle when I make better stuff right inside my shirt.

Maree - posted on 01/30/2012

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One of my friends who bottle fed from birth had her inlaws offer to take the baby overnight because he has bad wind and she is struggling...i would never take anyone up on an offer like that (the baby is 3 weeks old) but bottle feeding and knowing you can have a break now and then must be a huge relief for some people.Although by 6 months,bf-ing is pretty easy,it is still a huge commitment for most mums i would think.

Sherri - posted on 01/30/2012

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I agree with you wholeheartedly Sumi by 6mo's I wanted my body back and my personal space back too.

Maree - posted on 01/30/2012

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Maybe she was sick of having to do all the feeding herself. The dad can help once the bub is weaned...not that i would wean this young but just sayin..

Merry - posted on 01/30/2012

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Wow sumi. I doubt you ment it this way but that just comes accross so selfish.

I guess weaning doesn't sound like even then I'd have my body 'back' I'll still be a mom, changing diapers, kids poking me in my belly button, poking in my mouth, watching me pee, eating my food, commondeering my tv!

I AM mom. Whether or not they feed from my body. It's MY body. I just use my hands to hold them, my back to carry them, my breasts to feed them, my mouth to kiss them, my eyes to watch them, and honestly, the feeding them part is the easiest by the time they are 6 months :):)



It's your choice (obviously) when to stop or not. but the whole 'wanted my body back' reason never made sense to me!

Sumi12 - posted on 01/29/2012

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I wouldn't breastfeed past a year. In practice, I only breastfeed until 6 months because I was just done with it at that point and wanted my body back to myself.

Ashley - posted on 01/28/2012

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I do believe that whatever a mother and child work out, that is between them. We are all doing great things for our children by breastfeeding them! No matter how long! I recently stopped nursing my almost-three-year-old. I started taking some medication that wasn't BF friendly, so I had a convo with her (which we have been doing for a couple months to prepare her) and told her that 'mama-yummies' were all gone now. She was ok with it, but still asks to cuddle 'mama-yummies' from time to time :) I am so proud of how long we made it and love that we will always have that special bond. I had no idea how much I would miss it, however, it is great to have my body back!!! :)

Pam - posted on 01/28/2012

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I breastfed my first until a couple months after she turned two then she weened through being busy all the time, and my second is still breastfeeding, and that will go until maybe 2.5. While I strongly believe one should bf for an entire year before even thinking of weening, I also think its a personal decision on the duration. Mothers will do whats best for their own babies.

Veronica - posted on 01/27/2012

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ok, I have breastfed babies for the last twenty something years. yeah, yeah, shocking. big family. anyway, I don't feel that I was tied down and couldn't do anything while breastfeeding my children. I admit that it's hard, very hard sometimes in the first few months to have time for yourself while breastfeeding a baby, but as they get older, they don't nurse as much. So, you get more time for yourself, and after a year, you can introduce whole milk. I continued to breastfeed, but when I was not home, I left instructions to give my toddler regular milk. Sometimes I can go a whole day and not nurse until bedtime. Sometimes, not even then. As your child gets older, they adjust. And if you don't want to leave your toddler with whole milk,, you can always pump your milk and leave it in the fridge for when you are gone.

Veronica - posted on 01/27/2012

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I was just imagining having to breastfeed my eight year old. lol sounds absurd. Anyway, I say to wean them sometime before they turn three. and I wouldn't nurse a two year old in public. I think they are old enough to learn to wait til they got home.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/26/2012

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Jaime, that's the line that put me off too about a slap in the face. My 7 year old couldn't nurse no matter how hard we tried and she wasn't gaining any weight. Add in that her father (*cough* sperm donor *cough* ) was in Iraq and starting divorce proceedings because of my severe PPD and the fact that he'd been cheating on me since before we were married and I was not in ideal breast feeding mode.



This is also why I don't like when moms feel they can judge another mom because of her choice to use formula instead of breast feeding. You don't KNOW the situation and you shouldn't feel that you can just assume something and judge that mom.

Celeste - posted on 01/26/2012

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LOL Well, I don't judge those who nurse for a few months, one year, and so on. My first daughter weaned at 17 months. I honestly think that there are more people who judge women who nurse beyond 2 than vice versa, at least that's been my experience. Even from fellow breastfeeding mothers!



It's just a huge difference that I noticed between nursing my daughter and my twin boys.



For example, the many statements that I've heard ad nauseum

-You're only doing it for yourself

-That's creepy

-That's gross! Pump and put it in a cup





There are many closet nursers because of the harsh judgment.



And honestly, this thread has been pretty nice LOL

Janice - posted on 01/26/2012

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OK Jaime, true you didnt call anyone a bad mom but in the paragraph I quoted you did state you felt that when moms wean before age 2 its like a slap in the face. That is a pretty offensive statement if you ask me.

I wasn't particularly offended but do to the nature of the forum I felt strongly compelled to "defend" those like myself who may be "slapping you in the face." ;)

Mrs. - posted on 01/25/2012

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If you breastfeed as long as this thread has gone....you gotta stop ;).

Maree - posted on 01/25/2012

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Emma i think women who bf for several years sometimes judge those who only feed for a year or two...not all of course but i know some that think 18 months is nowhere near long enough

Maree - posted on 01/25/2012

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I have "no trouble"...NOW !!! Are you saying that if i stop bf-ing at 18 months because i just don't want to be tied down anymore (just to clarify,i won't be but using this as an example)...that to you this would be "odd" ??



Is it odd to want to go out at night or to have your baby drink from a bottle or cup instead?

I don't want to go out without my baby and bf-ing is something that i want to do but i don't really understand why exactly you think it's odd.



I think someone who even gets to 3 months should be patting themselves on the back...of course,the longer the better but the first 3 months is usually the hardest and because so few people even get through the first week,i think those who do should be very proud of themselves,to say that not "wanting" to bf for 2 years is odd....well to me,that comment is "odd"...

[deleted account]

pretty sure i never said anything about every mom who stops breastfeeding before the full two years is a bad mom. did i ever say it was wrong? no, i said it was odd to me. if i personally feel offended about it occasionally, isn't that my own right? why yes, it is. if i offended anyone by apparently not throwing enough disclaimers around i apologize. :P



i thought this was fixed with my last post at the top of this page, lol. it's much more clear and concise and SHOULD be less offensive, but who knows...

Janice - posted on 01/25/2012

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Oh crap I only made it 17 months...... I'm terrible ;)



Jaime I completely disagree with this:

"as for stopping before two years for no other reason than you just want to stop (and not because baby weaned itself or for medical reasons such as you stop producing) i think that's a little odd. so many women struggle to breastfeed, including myself (and unfortunately could not with my first) and it sort of feels like a slap in the face if a mom who is very capable of breastfeeding and takes to it like nothing to just up and decides not to go the full distance for no other reason than she just doesn't want to."



I truly believe that most moms who breastfeed dont just stop just 'because'. I do think that moms should be trying to go at least a year considering that in the first year that is a child's main (or only) source of nutrition. However, there are sooooo many reasons why women may choose to wean and really its not our place to judge them.



I chose to start cutting feeds at 10 months beginning with night nursing. I did this because I knew I would be starting student teaching (full-time unpaid job)when my daughter was 14.5 months and I felt weaning slowly was best. We stopped completely at 17 months because she was biting with every latch and was unlatching &relatching 3x during her one bedtime feed. It was unbearable - probably because I was pregnant and didn't know it yet. However, technically I could have kept going, part of me did hope to keep that last nursing session for a few more months but in the end I chose to stop. Am I really a terrible mom for not nursing my toddler because technically I could have???

I don't think so.

Maree - posted on 01/25/2012

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Although i am judgmental towards women who can bf but don't...I also believe that it shouldn't really matter if a woman chooses to stop because she feels she can't do it anymore,because she has to work,because it hurts too much,too much of a committment or whatever. I think it is every womans right to stop when they want to stop.



Although i see where Jaime is coming from and i personally will be bf-ing for at least 2 years...i don't believe that just because i struggled through the first 3 months of pain and now its easy,that i SHOULD bf for 2 years just cause i can...that means i will not be able to leave my child overnight (not that i have any intention of doing that),i will not be able to work (no intention either)as well as many other things that are made difficult whilst nursing a child...i am not able to express anymore as i do not have enough milk to fill or even half fill a bottle. It is pretty unfair to expect that a woman who has suffered and given up a lot to bf her baby,should automatically do it for 2 years and yet again,sacrifice a lot of herself to feed for that long where as another woman can "claim" that it was too hard for her.... puts her child on the bottle,goes back to work,goes out for the night etc etc...simply because she found it hard to bf or believed that she couldn't. I don't doubt that there are women who "can't" but more often than not...they can but they don't. Why are they not looked down apon but a woman who stops after 18 months is wrong because she had enough and wanted to do something for herself ???

[deleted account]

Yeah, when my girls were toddlers I flat out thought it was wrong to nurse a 2 year old.... Wow, did I change. ;)

Celeste - posted on 01/25/2012

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And to add, I *NEVER* thought I'd nurse my boys as long as I did. It felt a little isolating at times because I felt like I was the only one. But, I'm glad that I did and don't regret it at all.

Celeste - posted on 01/25/2012

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Me neither Sherri LOL Most of my friends formula feed or nurse only for a few months..

Celeste - posted on 01/25/2012

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Well, both of my boys nursed into preschool. They started preschool at 3. By that time, they were only nursing once or twice a day. It never was a topic of conversation.

Sherri - posted on 01/25/2012

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As odd as some find it to be to stop breastfeeding at 3,4,5,6mo's, is as odd as I find it to breastfeed past 1yr. Now I am not putting down, judging or even saying anything against it only to me it is quite odd to hear about and I can assure it is nothing I have ever actually seen.

[deleted account]

eh, i probably have some numbers mixed up, i used to know the lifespan of a bunch of animals. but we do have some pretty old horses in my area, lol.



let's see...okay, my full opinion is as follows: if a mother CAN breastfeed for at least 2 years, she should, because it's highly beneficial to the baby. if she can't, no big deal as long as there's good reason, in my opinion. if she wants to go longer, sure, as long as it's mutual. i don't think breastfeeding up into the school years is more beneficial to the child, though. in fact, unless the family is in an area where extended breastfeeding is the norm, the child may come under persecution from his or her peers, and would any mom want that for her child?



there, is that better? lol. it's a lot more clear in one post than in three or four.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/25/2012

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Jaime, I'm not sure where your horses are, but I've never heard of one living past 35 (There was a Tennessee Walker where I rode back in NY who lived to 35. He was a police horse before he was taken to the farm I took lessons at) I've ridden a few geldings who were in their early 20's- Quarterhorses mostly.



Besides, the average human lifespan in industrialized nations is near 77 years or so.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/25/2012

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True Celeste, and I know where you're coming from because since my mom didn't have a choice on how to feed my brother and I (we're adopted) I had to cover up while nursing at their house and every time I say something about how my 10 month old is biting me she says: Maybe you should stop, you've nursed long enough.



I guess if you're comfortable with nursing past whatever age fine, but I'm still not sure.



Laura, there is a comment I want to make about men being children, but I don't know how well it will come out. It's not rude or anything, but it could be take wrong if I don't say it properly

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