Breastfeeding- how long is too long in your opinion?

Teresa - posted on 12/30/2011

My son being born at 28 weeks, he was too weak to breast feed, I had to pump what I could for him but he got formula mostly. So I really have no experience with it, but I would assume that the more the child actually started eating that it would get weaned just like with a bottle. I'm at week 30 with this one and on bed rest hoping to carry it all the way. Maybe I'll get some experience witht he whole breastfeeding thing this time.

Jamie - posted on 12/30/2011

I see what you are saying, but it's hard to explain to someone who has never done it before.



An infant breastfeeding is a lot different than a school aged child breastfeeding. A bottle doesn't serve the same purpose as a breast would at that age, so a bottle would be unusual at that point in development. It is really hard for me to articulate this, you'll just have to take my word for it.



I hope that NIP and extended breastfeeding will be normalized in society soon so people don't feel uncomfortable seeing it. I was brought up seeing it and spent a lot of my time in other countries where it was normal so it is just part of life.



I'm really glad you're so open about admitting it makes you uncomfortable without being judgmental. I think that it is really healthy to talk about these issues with other moms that choose different ways to raise their children. And that makes me happy

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 12/30/2011

Jamie I agree with that. It's just that my personal opinion is that 3 is old enough for breastfeeding (I'm also hoping to have my next baby in a year and a half). I can't stand a binkie past 3 either I had to wean my 7 year old off of that which is around the same time she got my old baby blanket. Almost like a transition.

I wouldn't call a parent out on it or suggest what they're doing is wrong. But I would feel uncomfortable seeing it.

It's the same thing with seeing a child over 3 or 4 using a bottle.

Jamie - posted on 12/30/2011

I don't care whether a child has a pacifier in his mouth or is breastfeeding. As long as the parents are educated in their parenting choices and know it is what is best for the child.

There is no reason why a child shouldn't breastfeed at seven years old other than some people are unfamiliar and uncomfortable with it in western society. It is completely biologically normal. I hope one day people start realizing that.

I am for freedom of choice and lack of judgement in parenting...

I think bottle feeders and breast-feeders need to stop being so negative. It isn't nice to be ostracized or criticized for your choices when you know you are doing the very best for your child.

Sherri - posted on 12/30/2011

I am with you Megan on that one.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 12/30/2011

Personally I'd rather see a 7 year old with a security blanket than a 4 year old breastfeeding or with a binkie. My 7 year old sleeps with the same security blanket I had when I was little and my 9 month old has the receiving blanket that my birth mom sent me home with.

Jackie - posted on 12/30/2011

http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.ht... Pretty interesting... When my little one says she's done is when it will be I'm hoping for at least 3 years!

Becky - posted on 12/30/2011

I'd rather see a 4 year old breastfeeding than walking around with a pacifier in his mouth!

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 12/30/2011

LOL True, this baby won't take a binkie so I don't know what she'll try or won't try. I should've checked the link and noticed that vegatables were in quotes. I'll see if amazon.ca carries them. With my luck they either will at double the cost or won't because the Canadian Amazon site sucks sometimes.

The good news is that I did finallt get her to sleep! Yay!

Jamie - posted on 12/30/2011

no no..check the link. It is an organic cotton toy.

I swear by them!
Haha now that i've said that, watch you'll buy and and she'll hate it ;-) lol

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 12/30/2011

DH asks our baby if she wants the delicious and nutricious mommy milk when she starts her hungry wimper.

I only have canned beans that 'Santa' gave to my older daughter. We do have carrots though so I might try that. We give her freezies too- frozen juice bars. They help with the gums.

Jamie - posted on 12/30/2011

I'm sorry, that is the worst!!!

LOL my husband calls it "the power of the boob"

I know every child likes different things, but I can't say enough good things about these "vegetables" (the carrot and string beans especially!

Every friend I've given them to so far says the same thing! ...it may be worth a try!

just dip the end (or ends if you have the stringbean) with filtered water and freeze. Her hands won't be cold either!

http://www.amazon.com/Under-Nile-Organic...

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 12/30/2011

Jamie she definitely is. The 3rd one erupted last week and she's been getting worse. My MIL bought her infant Tylonol drops the other night and that worked. She has a frozen teething ring now too. This is the only time mommy boob (DH loves using the terms mommy boob and mommy milk) doesn't work very well.

My mom always rocked my brother and I while giving us a bottle to comfort us.

Jamie - posted on 12/30/2011

megan, is she teething?

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 12/30/2011

Breastfeeding works as a comfort to my 9 month old usually. But not tonight. We can't do bottle, boob, purple kiki (kitty) daddy walks or teething gel. She's screaming up a storm. I wish she took a binkie!

Jamie - posted on 12/30/2011

I couldn't imagine finding the kind of comfort breastfeeding brings in another form, for either one of my children (but especially my adopted son)....



It is hard to explain something that works so well (and irreplaceable) in one family to another family that has a completely different parenting style. Not that either one is right or wrong, but it makes me sad when people assume anything about another family.



I just wrote about extended breastfeeding in MomsLA



http://momsla.com/2011/12/nurse-in-at-ta...

Tam - posted on 12/30/2011

I don't necessarily think it's bad, but I think when people say that it's just for comfort they mean its more of a comfort thing that could be accomplished in another way.

I tend to be of that school of thought, but like it's been pointed out recently, it's a case of whether the situation fits the family. I'm sure that there are some things I do for my kids for comfort that other parents consider passe or young for their age, just as some people view extended breast feeding.

Sylvia - posted on 12/30/2011

I don't know why people say "it's more for comfort after X age" as though that were a *bad* thing... o_O

Margaret - posted on 12/30/2011

As far as I'm concerned, breastfeeding should stop either when it becomes an unwanted burden or when the child itself instigates it. As I've posted elsewhere I know of mothers who still offer the breast to their toddlers nearing school age. The fact that they do that is neither right or wrong, its accepted by the families concerned as normal, so what other people think is not an issue. I thought I was going to be tandem feeding when my third child was born, my second child (who suffered many allergies) fed right up to an hour before the birth of the third. If it had turned out I was tandem feeding then I would have happily done it, however, I know from experience that others would have commented negatively about it. So, to sum up, when breastfeeding becomes an unwanted burden to the mother, then she should think about weaning, if that doesn't happen then let nature take its course...a teenager is very unlikely to still demand to be breastfed after all.

Janice - posted on 12/30/2011

Megan I agree that bonding can occur in many ways. I think in some families though bottles are "propped" and once a baby is old enough to hold their bottle they do get less cuddles. I'm sure this is not true for most families but it happens.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 12/30/2011

I'm not saying they aren't. My 9 month old is breastfed and her dad stays up with her through the night so I can get some sleep. I was just pointing out that bottlefed babies can get bonding time. I get upset when people act as though bottle fed babies get short changed in one way or another because mom didn't breastfeed.

Celeste - posted on 12/30/2011

Just like bottle fed babies are bonded to their parents, breastfed babies are bonded to their fathers. My boys never took bottles after I finally got them nursing. But my husband did other things besides feeding them-bathing them, holding them, changing diapers..

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 12/30/2011

Laura I was bottle fed by my mom who adopted me and trust me I bonded. There is no proof that bottle fed babies miss out on cuddling with their moms more than EBF babies. Bottle fed (formula or breast milk) babies also get a chance to bond more with daddy and other family members so they seem to get more socializing time.

I was proud when my older daughter was able to hold her own bottle. And extremely greatful because she was almost 6 months old and I was driving from Rochester, NY to Killeen TX by myself. I wish my 9 month old would try to hold her bottle when I took her for the walks to and from my older daughter's school when DH is working. I take it as a sign that they're growing up and getting more independant. Not something to get upset about.

Celeste - posted on 12/30/2011

Kinda back on the subject, but I think there are so many misconceptions about "extended nursing" just because it's not really common here. The ones I hear ALL the time:



-It's for the mom/mom can't let go/mom can't let child grow up.. Uh no. You can't make a child nurse. As I said before, I felt it was best for my children.





-Pump and put it in a cup-Many moms don't own a pump. Plus, pump output decreases over time. It's too much of a pain to pump just because someone else has an issue with it



-Older nurslings do eat other foods and many of them only nurse once a day or so.



-Nursing manners are usually implemented so a nursing child won't pull on her shirt.



I also know that if you haven't nursed an older child or if you're nursing a young baby, it's hard to fathom. Like I mentioned before, I knew with my twins, I'd nurse past a year, like their older sister, but I thought I'd go to 18 months. We went way beyond that, and my "too old" opinion changed many times.



That said, if moms don't want to extend nurse, or not nurse at all, that's fine, but I hope they don't judge harshly those that do..





Though I do admit, there's not many people who know how long I nursed my boys, just because of the attitudes that I mentioned above. I guess I was a "closet" nurser.

Christina - posted on 12/30/2011

Well there seems to be a lot of conversation on this. So I will keep mine short and sweet. You stop when you feel your child is ready and what is best for you. I have a military peds doc and he totally supports it but he did point out after 2 it is more for comfort and it I am ok with that then so is he. We made it to 18 months with my last and since he is definitely my last he is babies more. But he would not stop biting and once he drew blood I was like I am done and he fussed once and I told him mommies boobs hurt you bit me now they are owee no more. He grabbed his sippe and off he went. I will add the mom in britain who's kids are 9 and 10 that is so just ewww in my opinion. :)

Aleks - posted on 12/29/2011

Sherri, I didn't say you didn't hold them, cherish them, love them, etc. Sorry if that may have sounded like that.
I am just stating what I feel and what I see around me. And I do know from observation that many of these babies (that I see) probably do not get the cuddles they deserve. Not all of them, but many of them. Like Laura said, I am of the thought that babies should be held to feed. That is just me and what I have over the years as a mother discovered (both through research, observation and personal experience) . I understand that many have the life-styles that they do for all sorts of reasons and they do what they believe to be best for them and their families. I get that, though I don't necessarily agree with it. Does that make sense? If I did agree with it, I would probably be doing it too.
As for judgmental - we all get judgmental on certain things. Its human, you may not be judgmental over bottle/breast for example, but may be judgmental over other things. I have no issue with people being judgmental. I have an issue with people getting irritated by being judged, but going around and doing the same to others but on different grounds/topics - that is hypocricy. Yes, it doesn't feel nice being judged by others, but I take it with a grain of salt (and yes, it does hurt sometimes, no doubt about it) and realise that its my turn sometimes to take a hit. I try not to throw things into others' faces just to spite them. But being in a debating forum I feel we should be able to state our opinions more freely.

Rebecca - posted on 12/29/2011

Nothing is simple with twins. I don't think kids miss out on cuddles because they can hold their own bottles. A child doesn't need to be attached to your breast to get snuggles. I think that's more an emotional need on the moms part than on the child's part. Kids want to be independent, even small babies. My little twins have been rolling over since 2 months, crawling since 5 months, and are both working on walking at 7 months. It's go-go-go all the time. Half the time they ask for their bottle, eat a little bit of their bottle, crawl/walk off to explore, and come back to it, only to go off again in a few minutes. They eat on their terms, not mine. I don't think of it as them missing out on snuggles -- I view it as them having the freedom to explore as they desire. When they want snuggles, they come over to get snuggles or cry or call for attention. I'm home with all four kids all day and I wouldn't exactly characterize us as having a fast pace life, either. The only thing EBF them (or holding them to fall asleep for every nap) at this point would do is prevent me from interacting much with my other twins, whose needs are as important as the needs of the baby twins.

Teresa - posted on 12/29/2011

Twins are definitely different than one kid. Although I have to admit... when I was pregnant w/ my son I was worried about breastfeeding him cuz I didn't know how to do it w/ just one. lol I only nursed them for 15 months though... and they did well being schedule fed. MUCH different than my son.

Janice - posted on 12/29/2011

I have always found breastfeeding easier than bottle feeding too. The only time this isn't true is when your stuck in the car longer than a 1/2 hour, which is very rare for me. My daughter refused bottles but I definitely introduced a cup at 5 months and my daughter got water in the car.
But if I was running a home daycare breastfeeding would definitely be much harder! I worked in a daycare and you cant hold an eating baby and attend to multiple other babies very easily. It was a great relief when an infant hit 6 months and we could let them sit in a bouncer and drink their own bottle. I cant imagine EBF twins I would have to do bottles at least sometimes!

Celeste - posted on 12/29/2011

Bwahahahaa!!! You can imagine my shock when I was told we were having twins LOL

Celeste - posted on 12/29/2011

I found nursing my twins easier has time went on. And they never took bottles (though they did take bottles when I was working with Ronin on nipple confusion). We got into our own routine.

Then, I found after a year, it was much easier since I wasn't their main source of nutrition.

I nursed them everywhere, too (separately of course).

Laura Zoey - posted on 12/29/2011

Shhh Celeste I don't want to hear that! Lol yeah Sherri I think your boys are well adjusted kids and no worse off by bottles. :) in general though' I think babies should be held while eating. It's just how nature designed it.
And about the sports, wow, yeah didn't think off that....I guess my life could get quite hectic in a few years!

Celeste - posted on 12/29/2011

Hey Laura, twins don't run in my family either LOL

Sherri - posted on 12/29/2011

Just an FYI my kids only do one sport at a time too. However, 3 kids with 3 different personalities and interests means 3 different sports hence why I listed three different sports.

I just don't see it as missed time but since I know your view I can see and respect it even if I don't exactly agree.

Laura Zoey - posted on 12/29/2011

I'm sure you can make up for 'missed time' but breastfeeding is a certaink way to ensure the baby gets as much skin to skin for months and or years.

Tam - posted on 12/29/2011

Sherri, I am due to have my twins in April and I'm seriously pondering how I'll manage, especially with my two older kids and my full time job. I plan on trying to breastfeed at least as long as I did with my first two, but beyond 6 weeks is when I'll have to halt things, I think.

I'm glad I'm not the only one out there that isn't doing extended breastfeeding. Sometimes it feels almost like it's viewed as taboo to bottle feed, and until I actually read up on it in places like this, I've never actually seen anyone judging/criticizing, etc. for what seems to be a simple lifestyle choice or situation.

Laura Zoey - posted on 12/29/2011

Yeah I plan on not being too busy even as my kids get older. No more then one sport at a time for each kid. And with homeschooling it will be at our pace. I like my snuggle times with Fierna and I've only recently put her down for naps and even still it's never more then one nap a day so I hold her three naps a day sometimes all four. Idk. It's just that shes getting so old so fast I don't want to regret any missed time!
And even if I was at kids sports I feed just as easily in public as I do at home so that's no biggie.
And yeah, i bet twins would be hard. Harder then I'd hope to experience but mostly hard cuz I'd want each one to get the same amount of mommy time my single babies got. Let them comfort nurse, nap on me, bed share with me, be in a slung every time we go out, etc and with twins that's not possible.
They'd need to self sooth and stuff and that would make me sad that they were shorted their mommy time.

Luckily twins don't run in my family!

Sherri - posted on 12/29/2011

None Aleksandra my kids got so much bonding time and never missed out because they were able to hold a bottle. I feel it is a milestone just like any others they will meet. I held them loved them played with them etc. just because they could hold their own bottle means they missed out?? I seriously doubt it and I can say this for sure seeing what great teens my oldest two are and how connected and close I as well as their father is to them all.

Aleks - posted on 12/29/2011

I am with Laura, I actually cringe and feel sad when I see a little baby hold their own bottle (especially in a pram facing away from the parent/mother). How many snuggles do they miss out on? This includes all those times I see a mother bottle feeding the infant facing away from her also.
Sorry ladies, but that is what goes through my head when I see it. Can't help it. It just feels a bit sad to me (ie, I get sad). I know that to some people, certain things aren't as important as they are to others, but knowing what I know (and have over the last year or two discovered) regarding child psychology and behaviour/physiological needs... I couldn't do it.
But just like Laura, my life is not that fast paced, nor would I want it to be knowing how that would affect me, my children, my SO and my family in general. So yeah.....

Sherri - posted on 12/29/2011

Oh lord I could never hold my babies for naps. But I also have kids that need to get back and forth to school, basketball practice, basketball games, little league practice and games and skiing lessons and also do in home daycare. So needing to tend to multiple kids all the time it just isn't feasible. Hence why for me having to sit for 20-30mins to breastfeed isn't feasible with my schedule either.

Just be careful to never say never because until you are in that situation you never know how you would deal. Twins are far different then dealing with one child.

Laura Zoey - posted on 12/29/2011

I'd feel guilty letting my baby hold their bottles ever.
I guess it all depends on the mom and baby cuz there's no way I'd bottle feed twins. No chance. That would be way too much work.
Breastfeeding is so mindless. No measuring, no worrying about waste. No need to do anything to prepare for a feed simply lift shirt.
I understand for some moms breastfeeding is complicated or difficult but I seriously don't see how! It's just so simple. Open bra, attach baby, baby is done when they are done!
But then again I don't live a fast paced life. I hold my babies for their naps for months etc.

Rebecca - posted on 12/29/2011

I agree with Sherri about bottle feeding -- I thought it was much easier than breastfeeding. My little twins just turned 8 months and they have been holding their bottles since about 5 months. Hand them the bottle and done. Super easy. Much easier than trying to nurse twins. Personally, I was house-bound when nursing twins. It sucked. My entire day (and whether I could leave the house) was driven by their nursing schedule. I was a slave. I hated it. It was great for them, not so great for me.

Maggie - posted on 12/29/2011

it's all just your opinion - what works for one family might not for another. We're all doing what we feel is best for our children and our families.

Teresa - posted on 12/29/2011

Oh, I know. That's why I said I wasn't trying to convince you to change. I just wanted to share. I don't know why. :)

Sherri - posted on 12/29/2011

I will breastfeed Teresa till 5-6mo's then I will solely bottle feed. I have no problems with bottle feeding and honestly I don't love breastfeeding either. It is okay and something I do for the first few months but after that I am very happy to bottle feed. I know for a lot of moms it is super important but honestly it just isn't so for myself.

Teresa - posted on 12/29/2011

I know we are very different people and I'm not trying to convince you to do differently, Sherri, but I once nursed my son in the crowded cafeteria at the girls school to watch their Christmas program. ;) I nursed at the gym NUMEROUS times while watching their gymnastics classes... since they were only out during the session that started right after he was born, so... from the time he was 2 months old til over 2 years... if he needed to nurse... It is definitely doable if it's something you're ok w/ doing. I was not comfortable at FIRST, but there was no way I was going to bottle feed so I got over it. ;)

I never bottle fed any of my kids, but I did the kid I started watching at 6 months. Pulling out a boob would've been a heck of a lot eaiser than trying to hold her to keep her from screaming while making the bottle w/ one hand. ;)

Sherri - posted on 12/29/2011

@Alexsandra sometimes pulling over the car just isn't an option especially when you are on a tight time schedule and need to be driving on the highway. Also not easy when you are not a baby wearer and could never get the hang of breastfeeding unless you were sitting holding the baby as I was. Plus once they reached 4-6mo's I would just hand the bottle to my babies and they fed themselves. No need to stop or chase anyone. Also in my situation I have such dramatic age differences I could never even contemplate breastfeeding in my kids schools at their sporting events and honestly nor would I. I would have to miss everything as I would have to go out to my car and do it there.

I also never sterilized bottles and just used the same bottle all day. Once they finished I would wash the one bottle in the sink just like I do with all our dishes since I don't own a dishwasher and got it ready for the next feed. Easy peasy.

While out I would just pack hot water bottles out of the tap and have premeasured formula which just lived in the diaper bag.

Now I am not saying that formula feeding is better I am simply just saying what worked best for us and the reasons why breastfeeding just didn't work very well for us past a certain age. Now I have done both breastfed and bottle fed and my personal opinion is formula feeding was a thousand times easier then breastfeeding.

Minnie - posted on 12/29/2011

I have two children and don't plan on having anymore.But I still feel that breastfeeding simplified my life. Correction: bottle feeding would have complicated things. Personally, I couldn't fathom chasing a toddler and bottle feeding! I just strapped the newborn into a soft carrier, I could nurse hands-free while playing with my two year old. Nothing extra to get, nothing extra to clean, free hands, breastfeeding is so simple to me.



And if my last pregnancy had gone to term I would be tandem nursing Adelaide and that baby- breastfeeding is such a natural, mundane part of my life now that I wouldn't give it a second thought- but the idea of introducing bottles into the mix sounds like so much work.

Aleks - posted on 12/29/2011

Sherri,

I have a very good friend who exclusively and also long-term breastfed all FOUR of her kids (though not exclusively long term...lol). Her first two are currently 10 and 8 years old. They were both breastfed passed 2yrs of age (which means that she most likely tandem nursed these two). Her 3rd child is now 4.5yo and she nursed her till about the age of 3. She is currently still nursing her almost (within 3 weeks) 3yo. She tandem nursed the last two as well.

Therefore, she had 2 kids at school, nursing a toddler while being pregnant, and then went on to having 2 kids at school, nursing a toddler and a newborn/infant.

So, yeah its doable. Where there is a will there is a way, however, she is a SAHM.



Personally, I would have thought that exclusively nursing a newborn with other older kids around would be much easier than bottle feeding. I don't know where I would find the time to clean/wash and serilize all those bottles and trying to keep track of all the formula and bottles I would need to organise for when out and about. I would have thought that offereing the breast while out would be much easier (especially while baby in a sling that can just feed away while I go about doing my things). And sometimes pulling over the car for 5 minutes to feed a baby is not such a problem (would probably have to do that with bottle feeding too, if that busy). But that is just me.

Jeannette - posted on 12/28/2011

For me, personally, I don't think I would go over the age of 2. With my son we only went to 13.5 months and I still wish we had gone longer. Breast milk still has its benefits after age 2, so I'm not judging anybody who goes longer then that. I guess I'll have to say when the child starts kindergarten is a little to old and would be very odd in my opinion. However, if they were pumping the milk and giving it to their child like that at that age, that's cool too.