Breastfeeding is "creepy"

Sarah - posted on 06/28/2010 ( 153 moms have responded )

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http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2...

An article describing breastfeeding as "creepy", written by the deputy editor of a leading parenting magazine, has caused widespread outrage on the internet and prompted protests to the Press Complaints Commission.

Under the headline "I formula fed. So what?", Kathryn Blundell says in this month's Mother & Baby that she bottlefed her child from birth because "I wanted my body back. (And some wine)… I also wanted to give my boobs at least a chance to stay on my chest rather than dangling around my stomach."

She goes on to say: "They're part of my sexuality, too – not just breasts, but fun bags. And when you have that attitude (and I admit I made no attempt to change it), seeing your teeny, tiny, innocent baby latching on where only a lover has been before feels, well, a little creepy."

She concedes that "there are all the studies that show [breastfeeding] reduces the risk of breast cancer for you, and stomach upsets and allergies for your baby. But even the convenience and supposed health benefits of breast milk couldn't induce me to stick my nipple in a bawling baby's mouth."

She continues: "I don't think I'm the only one, either – only 52% of mums still breastfeed after six weeks. Ask most of the quitters why they stopped and you'll hear tales of agonising three-hour feeding sessions and – the drama! – bloody nipples. But I often wonder whether many of these women, like me, just couldn't be fagged or felt like getting tipsy once in a while."

The shockingly frank article has reignited the breast-versus-bottle debate. The Department of Health recommends that babies are fed only breast milk for the first six months of life – an aspiration achieved by only one in 100 UK mothers. Many women who are unable to breastfeed or who choose to use formula milk say they are made to feel guilty or inadequate by an increasingly vociferous pro-breastfeeding lobby.

Your thoughts?

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I personally don't like her opinion and her decision, but I don't have the right to judge.

I'm a bit concerned at the fact that I couldn't find any positive reference to her baby in the article.

Incidentally, my breasts are erogenous zones, too. So is my vagina, where the babies came out!

Isobel - posted on 06/28/2010

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ummmmm...the difference is that this woman isn't judging other women for breastfeeding...just talking about HER experience with it. The proper comparison would be if a pro-breastfeeding mother wrote an article about how beautiful and wonderful her experience was and how it allowed her to bond with her baby and give him/her the healthiest food available.

and I assure you those articles are written EVERY day in every parenting journal and website. And nobody takes offense...UNTIL they start calling the other mothers names (which also happens every day in every journal and on every website)

I've never heard a formula-feeding mother call a breastfeeding mother a name other than maybe "high and mighty" and that's almost always in response to being called selfish or lazy.

While I agree that all of the extremism on both sides needs to stop, I don't think this is really all that extremist...just sympathizing with a marginalized group of women who are made to feel small and like terrible mothers every day.

Sharon - posted on 06/28/2010

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She was honest. Brutally honest. I actually think she might have toned it down, but the article wasn't meant to relate to BFing mothers, it was meant to relate to those with opinions similar to hers. Now those women who feel like she does won't feel alone.

Where's the harm? We all know that is how some women feel. She can't help how she feels. Well maybe with some intense therapy and self improvement goals she can but in time to bf a baby? Let it go people.

I admire her more for stating frankly & baldly how she feels and admitting her shortcomings.

Sharon - posted on 07/09/2010

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Geezus seriously? I CHOSE to not load my body up with more unnecessary drugs and use formula.

IT WAS SIMPLE. Breast feeding made me unhappy, became a pain in the tit chore. I didn't like it. It sucked. I didn't bond with my child because I was in pain and generally pissed off.

And YOU Stephanie - I don't give a flying fuck what you think about it. I have GREAT relationships with my kids. We enjoy our lives and we don't have to have chemical enhancement to do so.

Do you have any idea what kind of hormones and chemical stabilizers went into all the fucking pills you cheerfully swallowed in the pursuit of "natural breastfeeding?" (I'm laughing my ass off at that idea via your pills by the way) I'll bet you don't. Or if you THINK you do, then you're believing the same pharmaceutical companies that helped create formula and the "nasty" stuff you believe is in there.

You are a hypocrite. Admit it.

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153 Comments

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Meghan - posted on 07/09/2010

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LMFAO!!!! Joanna, I am seriously sitting her with a BIG bowl of popcorn!!!

Gertie - posted on 07/09/2010

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Anyone who would label breastfeeding as "creepy" is obviously immature, so who cares? Free speech is a good thing...it is a window into the soul.

Jodi - posted on 07/09/2010

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All I'm gonna say is....
Carol is right, she has NEVER been high and mighty about the breastfeeding, she has ALWAYS been respectful of other people's choices, whatever they may be.

AND

Stephanie needs to back off and be more respectful of other people's choices rather than being so high and mighty and judgemental.

I just wish this wasn't even up for debate......it's a personal choice, no-one else should really even care about what others are choosing to do. At the end of the day, we just want healthy kids, that's a lot more important than who chose to do what with regard to BF or FF.

Joanna - posted on 07/09/2010

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I want popcorn. Anyone else want popcorn? Yeah, popcorn would be nice.

Johnny - posted on 07/09/2010

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Perhaps before you type, Sharon, you should do some research about what you are talking about. Domperidone is a derivative of shatavari, which is an herb. Not a chemical. It is used to treat Parkinson's patients who have a difficult time with digestion and the biggest side effect was inducing of lactation. It's secondary side effect, when given in large (like 10 X the amount of a breastfeeding mother) intravenously to elderly persons was an increase in heart palpitations and arrhythmia. There has never been any scientific evidence of any side effects in a breastfed infant. So when choosing between it & formula, I chose the one that my research suggested had less risks.

I've never gotten all fucking high and mighty about what other people feed their kids, but clearly you enjoy it. Perhaps I am PMSing but at least it isn't my permanent state of mind.

I honestly don't understand why people can not live and let live. Is breastfeeding good? Fuck yeah. But obviously it is not right for everyone. Is cardiovascular exercise good for me? Hell yeah, but you don't see me out doing that. We can't and don't all choose what is "best" for a lot of great reasons. Nothing to get all bitchy & judgmental about on either side.

It's nice to see that other people are so fucking twisted that they find your vitriol "nice".

Jaime - posted on 07/09/2010

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I do see the point Sharon is trying to make about it being a tad hypocritical that a woman would pump her body full of hormones and chemical drugs to increase milk supply, but then balk at women that formula feed their infants...I believe that really was her point. Maybe she was a tad colourful in her delivery, but it makes sense to me. Now having said that, it really doesn't matter to me how a parent chooses to feed their infant (breast milk or formula), as long as they are well-informed and prepared to undertake the responsibility. I just wish there was equal support for formula and it was more widely viewed as an acceptable alternative.

LaCi - posted on 07/09/2010

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I clicked nice. I like it when Sharon brings out the capital letters. I think its nice. ;p lol

Jodi - posted on 07/09/2010

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Oh, I'm sorry, I just LMFAO @ someone clicking "Nice" on Sharon's post there. helpful or encouraging, maybe I could kinda understand. But Nice? That's funny :) No offence to your post BTW Sharon, I'll leave the spat between you guys, but nice? Bahahahaha....someone is trying to ruin your reputation :)

Sharon - posted on 07/09/2010

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Look her whole point was that its the natural thing, your body will do it, formula is poisoin blah blah blah - well? what is she doing? She's doing the same thing. She used a chemical cocktail to feed her kid. And yet she's dumping on us who chose to formula feed. THAT WAS THE POINT. Next time wait till you're done PMSing to post.

I don't give a shit what you fed you fed your kids to get them survive as long as you had their best interest in mind but stop being all fucking high and mighty about being natural shit like that when you used CHEMICALS and a fuckload of hormones to do it!

I DID NOT DUMP on anyone who chose to use drugs to feed their kid. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

[deleted account]

Always a fun read! Let's face it, no one really cares how you feed your baby. Extreme pro-BFing moms will always judge because they feel their feeding method is superior. 5 years down the road, if you line up a group of Kindergarten kids, you will never know who got breastmilk & who got formula. Seriously, ya think a teacher really KNOWS who got the boob and who got the bottle? I especially loved the analogy of equating formula to McDonalds! Thanks for the giggles!

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Ahhh lads..come on.Theres moms who will not give the idea of b/f a thought,theres moms who will try and quit and moms who try there hardest and cant due to many reasons and moms who will not give up and do it..fantastic..but get over it now and move on moms.Please put more effort into something better like maybe your children and give up on bashing which is best.We all do whats best our babys and us... its SIMPLE.MOVE ON.Attacking and getting mean about it is a waste of time.We are still going to do what we feel is best and thats it.:-)Anyone getting sick of this topic all the time?..getting old.LOL

Johnny - posted on 07/09/2010

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It's really f@#$ing nice to see that it is not just breastfeeding mothers that love to heap on nasty judgments at mothers who don't. As a mom who had to take meds to successfully breastfeed, I am deeply offended and resentful of your comments Sharon. I don't giving a flying f@#$ whether or not you breast fed your kids. But it mattered a shitload to ME and it was the best decision for MY daughter. You are always bitching about all the breast nazis & titty addicts and then you turn around and make nasty judgmental bitchy comments about those of us who busted our asses to breastfeed. Nice.

And yes, I do have a clue what was in the meds I took and whether there was any risk to my daughter from it. You don't have a f@#$'n clue what the hell you are spouting off about.

[deleted account]

Sharon you said it perfectly - I took enough drugs while pregnant to keep me alive I was not about to take more drugs to force my body into something else it did not want to do (there is a reason milk dries up)! I also do not want to subject my son to any more drugs than absolutely neccessary formula was created so women like me do not need to live on a cocktail of drugs to feed our children.

Actually I couldn't care less what you think of me I did the best thing for my son and if my next child has issues with BF I will FF them. If you had said this to me when I had just changed from BF you would have made me feel awful because I already felt like a failure as I was determined to BF but nature would not let me - I have now accepted this and am very happy with the forced choices I made there was nothing I could do naturally!

Jaime - posted on 07/09/2010

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Here's the thing, it's a woman's choice to either breast or formula feed...and it's really THAT simple. Now having said that, it is always my hope that every parent is fully informed of their options with respect to parenting and some of the tough decisions that have to be made. Judging someone or admitting to judging someone for their choice will only lead to animosity and often times, resistance to extreme ideals just for the sake of retaliation. If there was equal support for both breast and formula feeding, I doubt there would be as much bickering back and forth. Yes, breast milk is awesome and everyone should give it a go, but if they don't then formula is an acceptable alternative.

Joanna - posted on 07/08/2010

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Why would I want to pass on drugs to my child through breastfeeding? There are drugs that have a significant risk, but all the others still have some sort of risk, do they not? You never know. So why not feed my child formula, which they've been reinventing over the past 50-some-odd years to be as close to breastmilk as they can get it, instead of pass on drugs that have only been around for 10 years.

I will probably CHOOSE to formula feed this baby, I won't be forced into it. And it's nobody's business why I didn't "give it a go," and there is no reason for anyone to judge me for it. It doesn't make me any different of a person, or any less of a parent. I will always love my children more than life itself and do what I can as a parent for them. Formula or breastmilk won't change that.

Stephanie - posted on 07/08/2010

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Ladies seems to me this article was about a woman who CHOSE not to breastfeed for very frivolous reasons, so I openly admited (in a debating forum) that I do judge women who CHOOSE not to breastfeed, but that in a non debating forum I keep my mouth SHUT!!!

Of ALL the women I've met who exclusivley formual feed only ONE had a medical necessity, she did not CHOOSE to FF she was FORCED!

I believe there is a HUGE difference between making a concious decision not to BF and having no other choice!!

Tania I am so sorry that your unfortunate circumstances made it impossible for you to feed your child breastmilk, am I right to conclude that you were FORCED to FF rather than having CHOSEN it??

According to MotherRisk " Only a FEW drugs pose a clinically significant risk to breastfed babies. In general, antineoplastics, drugs of abuse, some anticonvulsants, ergot alkaloids, and radiopharmaceuticals should not be taken, and levels of amiodarone, cyclosporine, and lithium should be monitored."
ahttp://www.motherisk.org/women/breastfee...
The Newman clinic also suports this
http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=com_...
So really women like Tania are in the minority.

To all the moms who keep insisting that once the milk is gone it's gone I'm sorry to tell you (again) but that is NOT fact!! As much as I hate lining the pockets of pharmaceutical companies, with the help of certain prescriptions it is possible to get your milk back.

I was not supposed to be able to breastfeed! My surgeon told me not to get my hopes up and that I should never expect to be able to BF exclusively, so glad that the universe/god/dumb luck steered me away from discussions like this and towards a doctor who showed me otherwise!

To all you moms who were FORCED into FF for whatever reason do you not find it disheartening that there are moms like the one who wrote the article didn't even give it a go??? When a mom tells me she "couldn't be bothered" it breaks my heart!

Just for the record I've seen a few of your names on vaxing debates calling mothers irresponsible for chosing NOT to vax, I know a few mothers who choose not to vax because they have already had one child who became autistic, so I wonder will the moms in these other threads be seeing any apologies for YOUR judgements??

I hope that my continuing to debate this topic will help some mom struggling to acheive breastfeeding but sitting on the fence ready to give up find the strength to continue to try! I probably would have given up myself if I hadn't stumbled on various blogs on the horrors and triumphs of breastfeeding!!

Jodi - posted on 07/08/2010

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Oh, so Stephanie, you are basing your extreme judgements on your breastfeeding experiences of a single 5 month old baby in your individual circumstances? Awesome....

Rosie - posted on 07/08/2010

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gahhhhh! i simply don't understand how this is an issue to be judged for. whether they try to breastfeed or not, simply don't see it.

no kid i know has ever died from formula feeding, or even been sick from it. and every kid i know, except one, was formula fed. i don't understand this logic that breastfeeding is so superior to formula, when every study i've seen on it has come to the conclusion that well, it's a little bit better for diarrhea, and it has antibodies, which aren't really absorbed the way people think, and therefore don't provide all that much better infection protection. breastmilk isn't some magical elixer that you've been told it is. is it better? well, yeah, but when you add up all the other factors invovled in BF-like time constraints, half your day is spent feeding your child. maybe your husband wants to feed the child too. maybe you simply medically can't, post pardum depression, stress, single mothers, maybe somebody doesn't want to do it at all just cause it will be easier. there are a miriad of reasons for not breastfeeding, and i don't find a single one of them selfish. when you think about it, there's a reason why people choose things they choose, their situations are different than yours, the way they react to things may be different than you. we're not clones of each other-thank god! we do what we think is best for our own families, for some that may be choosing not to BF.



http://stats.org/stories/breast_feed_nyt...



http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/bookshelf/br...



http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/arch...

Jaime - posted on 07/08/2010

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Sharon, I look forward to seeing your 'cat with the fun hat' everyday because I'm always confident you've said something that is going to make me chuckle, and possibly spit my drink across the desk!



I just had an interesting thought about latching. If what Stephanie says is true, and they will learn to latch eventually, then I'm assuming she's not placing a time frame on it. That means potentially that parents would be breastfeeding until college...hmmm, I mean surely they'd have to figure out how to suckle by then? I expect it would go something like this: "Here you go son, here's your backpack, car keys...oh, and don't forget your 8oz bottle of similac...I got the advanced kind for you because I know you had some trouble latching this morning and I don't want you to feel inferior to all the other boys that stopped nursing when they were 2...don't be ashamed son, we'll try and latch again when you come home on the weekend with your laundry...we'll get it eventually, I mean the book SAYS that you WILL latch and by God we're gonna get it!. And once we've got that down, we'll work on potty training...I packed your depends so you're all set! ((shudder))....now THAT shit's creepy!

Johnny - posted on 07/08/2010

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Personally, being a breastfeeding proponent, I find it very silly to judge people for not breastfeeding. There are such a myriad of good (and some bad) reasons for bottle feeding that it is really impossible to form an opinion based on just the simple knowledge that someone is using a bottle over the breast. About the only time I judge a mom for bottle feeding is when I see her using one of those horrible bottle prop sling things. Ugh. But I digress. Formula is made for a reason, because many many people struggle with breastfeeding. Should some people have given it more effort? IMO, yes. But how am I to know what really goes on in a person's life.

I do judge the formula companies. I have no issue with the production of formula. But I have a serious problem with their marketing practices and their health claims. There are many ingredients in formula that medical science suggests are not optimal to adult health, and yet we are told that this is a wonderful, healthy product for our babies. I fed my daughter formula, and I was constantly concerned that the ingredients were somewhat detrimental to her health. There is quite a bit of research showing that to be true. So I want the formula companies to stop spending all of their profits telling me how wonderful their stuff is for my kid and spend more of it researching healthier ways to make breast milk alternatives.

My daughter is a very healthy, active, child free from all of the reported negative implications of formula. However, this does not change the fact that statistically, her chances of certain illnesses & conditions were raised by being fed formula. And I want the formula companies to spend their obscene profits to improve this situation.

Jessica - posted on 07/08/2010

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"My point is simply that you can't just assume that the reason some woman don't breastfeed are because of the reason you think."

This is a very very good point. You can judge people all you want, but the truth is unless you know their whole story, you're likely to be judging inaccurately!

Sharon - posted on 07/08/2010

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I don't even bother to read her drivel. I tried. I started to. Then my nausea came on and I just quit. Its the titty addict speaking.

NO room for anyone elses problems or opinions, because SHE did it, therefore anyone can. blech... oops I just threw up in my mouth a little. wheres' my coffee....

Tania - posted on 07/08/2010

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I still don't think you are seeing the big picture here. I don't breastfeed because I can't breastfeed.
This has nothing to do with latching or any of the common breastfeeding issues.
I take anti rejection medication. I had a kidney transplant 3 years ago.
I had to change my meds to become pregnant and during my pregnancy. My son was born at 30 weeks because I also have type 1 diabetes and i could no longer handle being pregnant.
Also because of the pregnancy my kidney was showing signs of stress so I needed to go back on the stronger anti rejection medication....medication that at times makes me feel ill and one of the side affects is lymphoma.
My point is simply that you can't just assume that the reason some woman don't breastfeed are because of the reason you think.
Yes everyone judges but maybe formula feeding should not be one of those times.

Jaime - posted on 07/08/2010

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Okay Stephanie, what information have you read that states all babies will latch eventually? If you have a link could you please post it because I am interested to read where this information comes from.

In my experience, not all babies will latch...and if it takes 6 months for that to happen, it's too much unnecessary stress on their little bodies...they shouldn't have to fight for their food.

Jess - posted on 07/08/2010

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Stephanie I think you should not comment on things you clearly have no clue about !

My daughter was born premie, her mouth was so tiny and my breast's are so large that she couldn't physically open her mouth wide enough to latch. We spent a week in the hospital just trying to learn to breastfeed. If I had just used formula I would have had my daughter home sooner and the feeding tube removed from her stomach. I never missed a feed.... every 3 hours for an hour straight we tried... I didn't shower, sleep or eat properly. All I did was try and feed.... fail, tube feed her and then pump ! And the cycle started again !

We worked our butts off to get her breastfeeding, in the end we got it all working using a nipple shield, but as we all know the breast needs stimulation to keep up the production of milk not just supply and demand ! So the milk supply dried up.

With a tiny premie there is no time to "work on it". My daughter is formula fed, is happy and healthy and if I had my time again I would have told the hospital we were using formula from the get go so I could have taken my baby home from the hospital. Breast is best, but it has its down side and one of those negatives are women like yourself. The biggest issue with breast feeding is the hardcore breasting feeding mothers ! You drive people away.

Sarah - posted on 07/08/2010

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Stephanie, I don't get how you can you judge people for using formula when you've used it yourself??
Fair play that you stuck with it and it worked out for you, I'm certainly not putting down what you achieved. Think about it though, not everyone CAN achieve it, not everyone can spend the amount of time on it that you did. They may have to return to work, or have other kids that need their attention.

Yes, we all make judgements.......but I know when I do, I also think it my head that there could well be a reason behind what they're doing, that I DON'T know the full story. I'm willing to change the snap judgements I make about things.

The "goal" should be to be to have a healthy happy child. I think me and the other Bottle feeding Mum's would agree we've achieved that. I think the other "goal" should be to have a happy healthy Mother too.

[deleted account]

Oh and theres me thinking formula is a completely natural product! Give us more credit than that we are not stupid I know formula is a man made product - but I also know that my son flourished after moving from BF to FF and nobody can deny that - he is not overweight or underweight he is normal, he is no less healthy than a BF baby (in fact he is healthier than some of the BF babies I know) and is happy and not stressed because I am not stressed.

You really do live in cloud cuckoo land Stephanie if you think that everybody can BF regardless sometimes nature takes over and there is NOTHING you can do about it, except feed your child the next best thing!

Stephanie - posted on 07/07/2010

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OK clearly I have not made myslef clear. My baby NEVER went hungry. I fed him formula as he needed to eat, but because I know that formula is not an optimal form of nutrition I continued to work on breast feeding slowly increasing my little man's feedings from 100% formula to 100% breast milk. Starting with formula in order to get your child fed is essential, I just wish they used better ingredients, but since they don't it kept my resolution high and I wish that were the case for all moms. I wish people would see formula for what it really is, a PROCESSED food!!!

The goal should not be to get to 100% breasfeeding in the first 24 hrs or 3 days or even weeks, but I think all moms should strive to give their babies 100% breastmilk and maintain it for the first 6 months and beyond. ALL babies WILL latch eventually (could take 6 moths) if they are just given the oportunity. (I have added my breastfeeding story at the bottom of this post, for those interested)

More often than not when I hear that a mom formula fed/feeds it's just because she couldn't be bothered to try! A very good friend of mine is a vegetarian and she mentioned getting meat for her daughter's sandwich, I was surprised and so I asked her why she didn't have her daughter follow a vegetarian diet to which she responded "when you have children (this was before I became a mom) you will do what's best for them, my daughter needs protein so I give her meat", this same friend however formula fed her children because she, in her own words, "just couldn't be bothered"! So I am very much missing the logic! But then again she doesn't understand nutrition and how the body processes or doesn't process certain foods so she blindly believes that formula is just as good and goes on feeding it to her children.

Anyhow like I said in my last post all moms judge in some form or another. When my son was a week old I gave him a pacifier because my one friend made me feel guilty for not doing so, a couple months later another mother I know looked at me cross eyed like I was crazy for having given him a pacifier! When I state that I have no intention of spanking my son some people ask me how I plan on keeping my child disciplined?? When I tell people that my son sleeps with me some people feel the need to tell me that I am spoiling him and that he will end up sleeping with me till he is a teenager! Hell I was at a BBQ and some women were telling a mom to be to ONLY buy sleepers with zippers, but when I piped in that I actually found snaps to be easier because I only have to open the bottom rather than practically taking him all out of the sleeper, which I found to be especially beneficial in the early days when my son would get cold so easily, they turned to me as if I were crazy and turned back to the mom to be and continued going on about zippers are the best!! Fact is everyone judges!! All of those comments are judgements and I am sure all of you ladies have your own ideas about certain things and how they should be done, and whether you keep it to yourself or speak your mind you have passed judgement on others at least I am honest enough to admit it!

Breasfeeding is a struggle but it doesn't have to be a nightmare, and thanks to prescription medicine and pumping it can be acheived by anyone over any length of time. The pressure to acheive it needs to be relaxed so that more moms will keep at it and that is what I would like to see!


The following is my story so read if you are interested who knows it may be helpful for some:

When my son was first born one of the midwives kept shoving his face into my breast and I had to stop her as as I hated to see him under so much stress. My boy was born big and they were concerned about his blood sugar. This particular midwife (she was not part of my actual team) told me I HAD to feed him every three hours or he would starve! I knew fairly early on that my son did things his way in his own time so I got a script for Domperidone and pumped and would try him on the breast once or twice a day so as to not force the issue, if he cried too hard I would give him a few days break before trying him on the boob again, all the while pumping, which when I found out that if I kept all parts in the fridge only needed to be washed once a day. At 3 weeks my husband came home with a horrible stomach flu which was passed on to me, (and several other members of my family) at that point my son was receiving about 50-60% of his feedings from expressed milk and supplementing with formula, luckily he was receiving some milk and the antibodies my body developped spared him from a flu that made my stomach feel like it was turned inside out. Unfortunately I was not able to sit long enough to pump over a 48 hr period and couldn't take my script to keep my milk up so my milk dried up and I had to start all from scratch! (So to those of you who think once your milk is gone it's gone you are very wrong!) When my son was a month we made some sacrifices and invested in a hands free pump and was able to finally get to 100% expressed milk. We visited the Newman Breastfeeding clinic working hard to try different ways to get him to latch, but I found them to be a little on the agressive side so I would usually give him a break from trying for 2 or 3 days after a visit. And then somedays life got in the way and I was not able to offer the breast but he was receiving 100% BM so I felt satisfied. In order to encourage a latch we tried many tricks including skin to skin (not only with me but with my husband as well) which I believe created an even stronger bond between all of us, so maybe my breastfeeding stuggles were a blessing! When I look back I guess what worked best was that I initially set small goals, if I can just express the colostrum that will be good, if I can just pump 2 ounces that will be good etc... there were days that I would try some of the tricks we were taught and my LO would still refuse at which point I would feel like a failure and cry but then (after a good cry) I would just remember to take it easy on myself take a break and try again later (later sometimes meant a couple of days). By eight weeks I was certain that I was just going to have to pump 6-8 times a day in order to make sure that he received breastmilk instead of formula, I cancelled my next visit with the Newman clinic and resigned myslef to my fate. On March 22nd my LOs 2 month birthday I realised that I had not done any skin to skin with him in a while so I took off my shirt undressed my baby down to his diaper and layed with him on my chest while I watched some TV after a little while he started showing signs of hunger so I thought what the heck I'm already lying here without a shirt lets give it another go before I grab the bottle lo and behold he latched and latched well and so we finally fed as nature had intended!

Charlie - posted on 07/07/2010

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Joanna , i had a very similar breastfeeding experience as yourself to the point of being hospitalized for not being able to keep food down at all and being severely dehydrated as well as the depression , unfortunately many people do not take mental illness seriously they assume its something we can control .

Rosie - posted on 07/07/2010

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i had a thing for mountain dew while pregnant with my last one. caffeine is and always will be my vice, gah!

Joanna - posted on 07/07/2010

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I stay below my 150 mg of caffeine a day limit, but it seems like every pregnancy I crave sugar and dark sodas (colas and root beer, and not the caffeine-free crap root beer, I'm talking Barq's!). mmmm.

I had 2 cookies after breakfast this morning too. Whoops! Oh well, I'm planning on making myself some fresh from scratch apsaragus risotto for lunch, which I've been craving for days. So I think that'll minus the cookies out at least. :P

Sarah - posted on 07/07/2010

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That's what I really don't get about women who are so adamant about breastfeeding.

Stephanie, you said that for 8 and half weeks, your LO was screaming and was scared of breastfeeding. That it affected your marriage, your body, your sanity.
Why on Earth would you want to make the first couple of months of your babies life so traumatic for you all??

My youngest screamed her head off when I tried to breastfeed, I was sobbing and a mess. I breastfed for all of 24hrs. She was hungry, she was miserable. I couldn't bear it. One feed of formula later, she was a TOTALLY different baby!

I guess I just don't get why people want to breastfeed SO badly that they'll spend the first few months being miserable and pain, and baby miserable and hungry. I'd rather enjoy every minute!!

Rosie - posted on 07/07/2010

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you're going to hell joanna! caffeine and sugar while pregnant!!! where's that scarlet letter when i need it! lol!

Jaime - posted on 07/07/2010

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Joanna I completely understand how you felt. I too had moments where I wished I wasn't alive. I was depressed, tired, emotional, sad, angry, so many things all at once. Not exactly the best recipe for trying to succeed at breast feeding. I'm a single mom and I was when I gave birth...that's obviously part of my frustration at that time, but even so, it was better for me to formula feed for sanity's sake and the health and well-being of my son. mmmmmmm cinnamon melts...did you make sure to feed some to your kid too? LOL

Joanna - posted on 07/07/2010

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Okay, I had some Cinnamon Melts (and a small Coke, oops!) so I am a happy lady.

What I'd like to say in a nutshell:

If I would have continued breastfeeding, my daughter wouldn't have had a mother. I breastfed for 3 1/2 weeks, with nearly no milk supply (so I supplemented with formula and was very happy when I did), because I was so depressed I didn't eat (not kidding, I probably lived on 250-500 calories a day at most). I wanted to hand my daughter to my husband and drive my car off a bridge, that's how bad it was. So thank God for formula, because it saved my sanity (and let hubby feed my daughter so I could get more than an hour of sleep a day), and allowed me to go on anti-depressants and save myself. My daughter is happy, and I am happy. So judge away, but I HAPPILY fed my daughter formula, and although I might try breastfeeding again with this baby, to be honest, I'll probably just go with formula again so I can go on anti-depressants again and be a happy mom for both my girls, because they deserve that more than anything.

Rosie - posted on 07/07/2010

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i just don't get why feeding your kid formula is something to judge someone over. who cares why the FF. has anybody here ever seen a difference between a FF child and a BF child? put them side by side, and tell me which one is breastfed. my kids and their mother are a hell of a lot happier because i formula fed. can't say the outcome would be the same if i continued breastfeeding. and the assinine statement that well i did it so i know it's not impossible, is almost as credible as saying well i gave birth vaginally, so why the hell did you have a c-section? PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT. get over yourself and learn that what works for one person doesn't for another. what makes one person happy doesn't mean that another person is going to be happy doing the same thing. in lala land your stance of how things should be would work, but since we all live in the real world things aren't always black and white.

Tania - posted on 07/07/2010

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Well I guess I was puI in my place.
My reason for giving my son....preemie BTW has nothing to do with anything you talked about. I knew from the get go why I couldn't and well I dealt with it moved on.
Your whole post just puts a banket statement on Moms who FF. Good for you for overcoming your difficulties but sometimes people go through a lot more than what you think.

Sharon - posted on 07/07/2010

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If there are leftovers the flocks get them. There usually are.. One of these days I'm gonna deydrate some McD's patties and see how they hold up as chew toys.

Jaime - posted on 07/07/2010

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LOL Sharon...snake wrangling and cooling the flocks...a mother's work is never done. Hey did you feed the animals Mc Donald's for lunch too? Sending some caffeine vibes your way--prayer is overrated!

Sharon - posted on 07/07/2010

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oh! and about a dozen windstorms ago - the wind ripped the pug kennel shade cloth off so we've decided that is our project for the day... repairing the damn shade cloth. fudge it!!!

Sharon - posted on 07/07/2010

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Well crap. I decided to cool off the flock outside before heading out and wound up having to wrangle a snake into a bucket, then I noticed the big macaw bathing dish had to much algae, so I had to break out the bleach & scrub brush and even though the others didn't need it, I decided to do them too.

AND!!!!!!!! I gotta drag my ass to work tonight! YIPPEE!!!! My most hated shift, CLOSING. ::: sigh ::: I volunteered for it to get some extra hours but omg I can barely keep my eyes open at 8.30 pm.. lol say a prayer if you're so inclined, if not "caffeine" vibes would be appreciated.

Jaime - posted on 07/07/2010

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You know, I just typed out and posted a harsh comment to you Stephanie because I'm in a horrible mood today but I decided to delete it...any effort on my part to retaliate against you personally only adds fuel to your ill-judgment. I'll just wave to you up on your high horse and call it a day!

Stephanie - posted on 07/07/2010

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Tania I know ALL too well the struggles that come with breastfeeding. My little one absolutely refused the breast, I would bring him to breast and he would scream in terror! Meanwhile suck on everything but my nipple! We both cried buckets of tears. I pumped what seem liked endlessly, spent a fair bit on prescriptions to get my milk up and just kept trying. It was EXTREMELY stressful, my husband and I who rarely even disagree were all out fighting, countless visits to a world reknown breastfeeding clinic and still little man had no interest in my boob (even though he did show greater interest in the expressed BM than the formula) so I know the lows in breastfeeding stuggles! But like I said I have studied nutrition and I know how some of the ingredients work (more actually don't work) in the body, so I stuck with the struggle. After 8 and a half weeks my LO FINALLY grabbed on and hasn't looked back!

Anyhow all I was saying is that yes I admititedly do judge in secret, if we met at a mommy and me though I would keep my opinion to myself, I would not tell you that you are a bad mom because I don't believe that formula feeding moms are bad, they are just ill informed and have been lied to about the safety and quality of formula. Truth is I secretly judge people who buy items like Activia yogurt because they have been led to believe that it is beneficial, so they purchase it thinking that they are doing something great for their health when infact they are not!

I'm sorry for being honest but I do judge. My list even goes on. I judge women who smoke even if they don't breastfeed and even if they don't do so near their child because all those heavy metals stick to their clothes and the child picks up what is now refered to as third hand smoke. I was a smoker before I became pregnant, I was planning on quitting prior to becoming pregnant but got myself knocked up just a little early! I want a cigarette every day but I want to hold my son more. And moms who don't BF because they want to drink to get tipsy, who is taking care of their baby? If I am unable to drive my son to the hospital should there be an emergency I am not doing my job as a parent. I had plenty of time prior to my son to party it up now I may have a glass of wine or a beer but if I can feel it it's too much if I am going home to parent my child. Although on these two issues I am a little more likely to speak up.

I bet Tania if you think about it you judge moms too! I know that not one person will agree with every choice I make and inside their own head they are silently judging me and I'm ok with that because I think it's human nature. I agree that no one has the right to judge but like I said it's kind of human nature and so it done by everyone everyday, I think the more important thing is once we've made our judgement how do we go about expressing it? I personally do bite my tongue, in person, if we were to meet at a BBQ and you told me you formula feed becuase of XYZ I would smile politely and keep my mouth shut. In a forum such as this I am quite a bit more vocal because it really isn't any different than the woman who worte the article that sparked this debate in the first place, I am expressing my opinion and I should probably qualify that my judgement is not that formula feeding parents are bad they are just ill informed.

Joanna - posted on 07/07/2010

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Mmmmmmm McDonald's Cinnamon Melts. All I can think about right now, even if some recent comments royally pissed me off... Ladies, thank your lucky stars for my cravings or there'd be a whole lot of words comin from me right now.

But right now, I'm going to get dressed and go to McDonalds :D

Sharon - posted on 07/07/2010

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OOHHH jaime awesome idea!

its hot as hell outside. I think a day at McD's is a good call. I don't have to cook & heat up my house/kitchen, they'll get burgers, fries and that frozen shit they call icecream, all the while playing in an airconditioned playground.

Jaime - posted on 07/07/2010

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Well I don't know about y'all, but I'm taking Gray to McDonald's for lunch...I mean why bother with milk and a balanced meal if all he ate when he was an infant was McDonald's anyway?

[deleted account]

Stephanie I take offence to that - some excuses are not excuses they are REASONS. I was gutted that I could not BF but when my son would not latch and I was doing everything right (no BF experts could suggest any other way for me to try other than what I was doing) and I tried every half an hour to get him to latch to feed him what am I supposed to do? My son was not getting enough milk he had to have formula yet even after I switched to formula (after spoon feeding and syringes and finally bottles of breast milk) I continued to try to get him to latch he would not do it - he was having none of it. Do not judge me for feeding my child - regardless of what you say I cannot make my boobs create milk if it is gone it is gone no matter how hard I try to make it come back!

Bully to you for getting through your problems but remember that it is not always that easy for others - some of us actually have genuine reasons for why we do things!

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