Breastfeeding older children......

Jennifer - posted on 01/06/2011

the situation in the video is faaaar from average.

i honestly don't know how she copes with just letting them pull up her shirt the way they do...i am all for AP parenting and responding to a childs needs, but i do think nursing manners ought to be in place.

Julianne - posted on 01/06/2011

When i was demand feeding i nursed where ever. I dont really nurse in public anymore. I dont care if i do, i just don't.

"so comfy she put it on TV for her kids classmates to see their private "relationship" for years to come. I cannot see how that could fuck a kid up?" Yes it can mess up a child. Since society does not accept it, they can be ridiculed and end up with issues.If society was more welcoming when it came to natural feeding, then it wouldn't mess them up. It would be normal.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/06/2011

HAHAHA...Kate, I am ready for it!

Nicole - posted on 01/06/2011

Yeah Jennifer, I think she was drinking quite a bit, but then again, it is a crazy show...

Jennifer - posted on 01/06/2011

Marina, the vast majority of women who nurse that long DO keep it at home. most children that age will only nurse once or twice a day, before bed being most common.

i wouldn't have a problem seeing a child that age nursing in public, though.

Rebecca - posted on 01/06/2011

That chick in the video looks pretty damn comfy with nursing her 8 year old...so comfy she put it on TV for her kids classmates to see their private "relationship" for years to come. I cannot see how that could fuck a kid up? Not at all.

Minnie - posted on 01/06/2011

LOL Marina...does that happen often?

Kate CP - posted on 01/06/2011

Ooo...Marina, you're asking for a shit storm. ;)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/06/2011

OK, you can all throw stones at me after reading this...I have my protective helmet on....

If you are going to choose to bf your child into the school years...keep it at home. NO ONE wants to see a child come over to mommy and ask for some milk. Espicially not in a school, a park, a mall...bf'ing is hard enough in public...things like this are the reason it is demonized IMO...just keep it at home if you are gonna do it to an unreasonable age....

Ok, my mitt is ready to catch those stones...1....2....3.....THROW!

Jennifer - posted on 01/06/2011

Nicole, the hubby and i watched that season of weeds...while i'm super happy that they made her character a breastfeeding momma, it really bothered me how much she was drinking the whole time. i mean, moderate alcohol is fine when breastfeeding but she was almost never without a glass (or bottle) of wine!

Minnie - posted on 01/06/2011

You probably never would, Kate. Other than the lady who chose to splash it all over TV most older children only nurse at bedtime. My own two year old doesn't nurse much when we're out and about anymore.

Julianne - posted on 01/06/2011

lmao i seen that episode!! I didnt want to be a hypocrite!

Nicole - posted on 01/06/2011

ROTFL!!!! I am watching Weeds and she has had a baby and she got her friend/guy she claimed was the father on the birth certificate to come into the bathroom and suck on her very engorged breasts because she was desperate for relief. I couldn't help but find the timing hilarious!!!

Julianne - posted on 01/06/2011

Babies nurse a lot. When she was first born anywhere from 8-15 times a day. Now its only maybe 4-5. The amount of milk the child drinks gradually decreases with age, i bet a 5 year old would only drink once or twice, if more, not by much.

Kate CP - posted on 01/06/2011

I would still prefer to not bear witness to an 8 year old nursing.

Julianne - posted on 01/06/2011

Women should be encouraged to feed for as long as they are both comfortable with it. They should be aloud to feel comfortable nursing their 8 year old if thats whats right for them. If gabber was 6, i would still be comfortable with it, if she decided to stop tomorrow, i would be hurt, but i would be ok with that too. Its all personal choice.

Minnie - posted on 01/06/2011

Ok nevermind I have a hard time shutting up.



Breastfeeding until age eight IS old. But it is not unheard of, and some cultures routinely breastfeed this long. Some cultures naturally wean at two and a half.



There is a range to what is normal. Just like there is a range to potty-learning. Some children get it very early, some not until five or six. Just because breastfeeding is a relationship between two people and just because it involves breaaaassssttss doesn't mean it's something that is going to stunt a child's development or that the mother is doing it for purely selfish reasons (which by the way I must interject doing it for herself in part IS valid as well, I am happy knowing that each year I nurse Adelaide I am reducing MY risk of developing cervical, uterine, ovarian and breast cancer).



I sucked my finger until I was nine. I was not ashamed of it. I did not go around and announce it to my peers because it was only something I did while sleeping and it never occurred to me to share the fact. Do many of you, when thinking of an eight year old breastfeeding, think that the child is nursing many times a day? Most older children nurse only once or twice a day.



No one is encouraging breastfeeding until six or older. I would be happy if more women chose to let their children wean naturally- we would probably see children weaning at older ages than they do now in our culture- but it should not be something forced upon them.



But how can we assume we know what is going on in the breastfeeding relationship? How can we sit and judge and say that the mother is doing it purely for selfish reasons, that she is manipulating the child into it? How do any of you know that she hasn't sat down with her child and said "our breastfeeding relationship is something very different than most people do. Many people think that what we have between us is strange. You can stop any time if you want to."

Jennifer - posted on 01/06/2011

kate, i don't think you should feel guilty for it. the breastfeeding relationship needs to be mutual, not selfless. ideally, all children would be breastfed until they naturally wean but thats not always realistic, and that is okay.

Nicole - posted on 01/06/2011

I am the mother of 4 boys and I can promise you that they can't control when those things stand at attention. I always used the attentive penis to warn me that I am about to get hit with golden spray if I didn't hurry the diaper change along!

Jennifer - posted on 01/06/2011

its impossible to take society's ideas of breastfeeding completely out of the equation, but you kind of have to try for it to be fair to the child IMO. the breastfeeding relationship needs to be between mom and child, with all the garbage of sexualization stripped away from it.

Kate CP - posted on 01/06/2011

I agree that society does influence people's perception of what's an appropriate weaning age. But the idea that women should be encouraged to nurse until a child is 6 is a little off to me. Moms want their bodies back. *I* want my body back! I don't want to feel guilty because I don't want a 5 year old hanging off of me all day because I won't nurse him.

Minnie - posted on 01/06/2011

Man, I've been gone an hour and a half. No point in me bringing up all the ideas I had already!

Mother - posted on 01/06/2011

I'm heading out too. Happy Debating Ladies!!!!

Bonnie - posted on 01/06/2011

@Sarah, yup boys are pretty funny. My 2 year old twists and turns his penis when I change. I'm thinking to myself, uh doesn't that hurt? lol

Julianne - posted on 01/06/2011

yea, and the natural duration allows for the species to detach when they are ready. both mother and child want to ween. not when other people think its appropriate.

Jennifer - posted on 01/06/2011

i think the biggest hurdle is getting over the false notion that breastfeeding is only for infants. its not. human beings are designed to have the immunological support provided by momma's milk until their immune systems are fully developed. yeah sure, they can survive without it but surviving and thriving are completely different.

too many posts. i'm losing my train of thought.

Kate CP - posted on 01/06/2011

Because as a species we are programmed to detach from our children at a certain point. Moms WANT space and they deserve it. Even dogs and cats will shove a weaning pup or kitten away because they just want a break. The pup or kitten still benefits from nursing every so often off of Mom but sometimes you just NEED to have your body back.

Jodi - posted on 01/06/2011

OMG this is frustrating! Everytime I refresh the page to see new comments it tells me I need to join CoM, so I have to close my window and log back in! lol With that going on I'm off for the night...it's just too darned frustrating to log in everytime I want to read new posts! Happy discussions, this has really been a fun one for me and I'll check back in in the morning!!!

Mother - posted on 01/06/2011

You're a lucky girl Nicole!!!!!

Julianne - posted on 01/06/2011

like breastmilk. ugh, my point is that doctors recommended whole milk after formula, because they still need it. Yes you can get it from other sources, why not the best one....milk specifically made for that particular childs needs.

Jennifer - posted on 01/06/2011

gaahhh the pages to this were just adding up as i was reading trying to read everything before responding. slow down!

Sarah - posted on 01/06/2011

That's hilarious Bonnie! Oh the things I get to look forward to with my little boy lol. He's only 15 months & everytime I change his diaper that little hand goes right down there & grabs it lol. Such a typical boy.

Nikkole - posted on 01/06/2011

@Bonnie thats too funny! Yea my son pulls and already scratches around his all the time i told him stop pulling on that thing or it will fall off he looked at me real seriously and said NUH UH its on there pretty good

Kate CP - posted on 01/06/2011

Uhh...children don't NEED milk. They need calcium and fat. That can be found in a number of other foods that aren't milk.

Jodi - posted on 01/06/2011

My husband gets erections for no reason sometimes (like Nikkole said), they're not always sexual, it doesn't mean he always to jump me, sometimes it just happens, in the womb, as infants, toddlers, children, teens and adults.

Kate CP - posted on 01/06/2011

Damn, y'all. Slow down...this is hard to keep up with. :P

Bonnie - posted on 01/06/2011

LMAO Nikkole, my older son turned 4 years old a couple months ago. Sometimes pulls it when he is going to the bathroom, causing more of an erection and then he gets frustrated when it won't go down lol. And at night he is still in diapers and sometimes he has an erection when I put the diaper on for him at night and he says, "mommy, why won't my bum go down". lol I keep telling him it is not his bum.

Nicole - posted on 01/06/2011

I just asked my hubby (prompted by reading this debate), "so when do you think I should wean Marcus (who is 15 months)?" He said, "are you kidding me?!" Me: "What?" He said, "I would NEVER make that decision for you! Your breasts, your decision." LOL Wow! Sometimes I can't help but be surprised when he reminds of the guy I fell in love with. I'm going to bask in this moment before he turns back into the comfortable man he has become after 10 years of marriage. lol

Nikkole - posted on 01/06/2011

Little boys cant control when they get erections, Hell my 25 year old husband can't control it :P

Julianne - posted on 01/06/2011

they have similar natural age, and natural duration of bf is about the same is my point. children NEED milk until puberty when the daily recommendation goes down. We supplement with cows milk or something else..

Mother - posted on 01/06/2011

I agree totally Julianne but they aren't a baby at 8 years of age.

Sarah - posted on 01/06/2011

My friend & I were just discussing this same topic yesterday. I had a horrible BF experience with my son & we only made it like 8 pathetic weeks (he's 15 months old now). My friend, on the other hand, is still EBF her 9 month old & intends to let him self-wean. Both of us agreed that the idea of breastfeeding a younger toddler doesn't weird us out now that we are both moms. I personally don't think I could see myself BF past age 2. Call me selfish, but I'd probably want my boobies back by then.

Jodi - posted on 01/06/2011

You think infants don't get erections while breastfeeding? It happens, and it doesn't mean it's anything sexual...

Julianne - posted on 01/06/2011

baby boys always grab their penises, doesnt mean its sexual. what about when they get an erection from sucking on a bottle? it looks like a nipple?

Nikkole - posted on 01/06/2011

@Kate yea i was surprised that he already had that happen to him by husband just laughed but my son does things like that all the time little boys are fun

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/06/2011

Well I guess you inadvertantly proved my point. Animals, all animals mature at different ages. Just becouse an elephant nurses their young til ten, are humans suppose to naturally feel we should, or that we are lacking? Nope...I don't particularly like being compared to elephants :P

Mother - posted on 01/06/2011

then he would probably grab it and play with it.......

enter erection while sucking on Momma's tit.....different scenario.

Julianne - posted on 01/06/2011

LOL that's my point, erections don't mean sexual, hell if the wind hits a mans balls the wrong way they can get an erection,

Kate CP - posted on 01/06/2011

Nikkole: LOL! OMG! I'm about to pee my pants! The things I have to look forward to when my son is born. *cackles*

Jodi - posted on 01/06/2011

Kelly, in many many may parts of the world, this wouldn't even get a second glance or get anyone to bat a lash because it IS normal. As has been stated many times, the natural, average age to self wean is anywhere from 3 to 7. It is normal and natural, just not in our society because of social "standards" and stigmas.