Breastfeeding or Formula Feeding...

Jeannette - posted on 05/23/2011 ( 184 moms have responded )

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So this isn't really a question, but a semi rant.



I am 100% pro breastfeeding. I breastfed until my son was 13.5 months and wish I did it longer. And that is where my rant starts. Most breastfeeding moms are not judgmental of formula feeding moms. It annoys me when a study comes out showing more reasons that breastfeeding is best and formula feeding moms knock it. But then again, it annoys me when I see breastfeeding moms knocking formula feeding moms.



If moms have all done their research we should all know that breastfeeding is best, plain and simple. Formula was made to obviously make money, but formula is the only other option for women who cannot/choose not to breastfeed. Technically there is a third option, using donated milk, but I know that is expensive, unfortunately. So there are only 2 options and breastfeeding is the best option. Some formula moms act like formula is better then breast milk, so when that happens, of course I get annoyed. Or when those women put down new research showing that breastfeeding is best.



If you are comfortable in your decision to formula feed, then you shouldn't feel bad/threatened or like a bad mother when you see the research. Read it and move on. If you do feel bad, then breastfeed your next kid. While I agree breast is best, formula isn't as bad as everyone makes it out to be, but it is the only other choice and it is and should be a woman's second choice only if she cannot breastfeed. There are women who breastfeed and do, women who cannot produce milk (only about 1%-2% from what I learned in nursing school), women who can but think they can't and they don't seek help, women who did not produce milk with their first who think they won't with their second and that usually isn't true and women who just refuse to. I feel like refusing to breastfeed is wrong (sorry, I know that is a judgement) but I don't think you are a bad parent. My sister didn't breastfeed her two at all and they are healthy, healthy weights and happy kids. My friend breast fed one for six weeks, but her milk supply was very low, so it was formula for the rest of the year and with her son she didn't breastfeed to long before switching to formula. She is one of if not the best moms I know. Her kids are happy and growing amazingly. They do have plenty of sicknesses, but that can be attributed to going to daycare, not because they weren't breastfed. Then I have a friend who breastfed, but had to supplement with formula. Her son is happy and healthy as well. So as of this moment, I am the only person I know (out of my friends) that has breastfeed exclusively for the full year, plus. I don't think that makes me a better mother, it is just what felt natural to me.



There, I edited it. That's what it was supposed to say. All I started this thread for was that I was annoyed about the "bullying" that goes with breastfeeding moms vs. formula feeding moms. As I said, I just got a little type happy.

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184 Comments

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Jodi - posted on 05/24/2011

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Yeah, I do to.......BUT responding that it's no-ones business is also an answer and an opinon, and it isn't sarcastic or uncivilised :\

Dana - posted on 05/24/2011

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Eh, I get where Amanda is coming from.

Amanda - posted on 05/24/2011

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I feel anyone can ask anything they want to. You have every right to agree or disagree but answer if you wish or don't but debates typically entail asking questions people will debate about and responding that it is no one else's business really isnt much of a debate now is it.

Mel - posted on 05/24/2011

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thanks Marina :)

Tah - posted on 05/24/2011

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Sorry to say Amanda...you ain't seen nothing yet...this isn't rosy and sunshine filled mums..it's debating mums and it gets real in the field around here....sarcasm is like an olive branch around these parts....this has been rather mild mannered and cozy I thought...lol

Jodi - posted on 05/24/2011

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"I really don't get everyone getting on here and talking about how it is not anyones business why someone chooses not to breastfeed."

How is someone saying that a sarcastic and uncivilised remark? I believe I have said it several times that it really IS no-one else's business how someone feeds their baby. Please debate how it is actually otherwise? I fail to see the issue with saying this.

Amanda - posted on 05/24/2011

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I agree but I have also read several post on here with very sarcastic and uncivilized remarks debate implies a civil discussion not a name calling sarcastic argument. If you are offended by someones point of view them instead of being sarcastic click the back button. I am also very well aware of the fact this is a debate group

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/24/2011

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To build off of what Tah and Jodi said, if you cannot handle the debate, or don't want to be involved in it...that is when you click the button.

Tah - posted on 05/24/2011

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Its a debate..so you come here and debate the topic...not click the button....

Jodi - posted on 05/24/2011

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Amanda, yes, you do have a point. Some mothers do judge breastfeeding mothers. But I have seen BREASTFEEDING mothers judge other breastfeeding mothers. Go Figure.



Yes, people could hit the back button....but it's a debate. We are SUPPOSED to debate the issue. Or we wouldn't be a part of this group. Do you get it now?

Amanda - posted on 05/24/2011

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I really don't get everyone getting on here and talking about how it is not anyones business why someone chooses not to breastfeed. If you feel that way there is a little button in the top left corner that if you click on it will take you back. Don't respond if you dont like it. AND there are just as many Formula feeding mom's who judge breastfeeding mom for how long or why the choose to breastfeeding to the point that there are laws being pasted to limit the places and length of time we can breast feed our kids. I am a PROUD breastfeeding mom my son exclusively breastfed for 6 months and is still breastfeeding at 13 months old!!!!!

Jodi - posted on 05/24/2011

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At this point, I would like to add a disclaimer....
Mel does not represent all Australians, or the knowledge all Australians are given by their doctor/health nurse. Just needed to put that out there :P

Rosie - posted on 05/24/2011

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just to clarify i wasn't specifically talking about you tara. :) i was generalizing.

Tara - posted on 05/24/2011

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Thanks Becky, it was Dr. Newman's quote that I posted that said artificially fed infants. And while not a popular term, it is correct.
And Ms.Cheese I totally agree, and my kids and todders are not fed artificial foods either.
Anyhow, as I said before.
Women choose what works best for them.
It isn't any other mom's right to question that or judge that.
But everyone has a right to the actual facts about breastfeeding vs. formula feeding.
Not just opinions.

Kimberly - posted on 05/24/2011

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i totally agree i dont knock what any one else is doing. even when those have knocked the way i am feeding my child, i dont go against what a mom chooses to do. i get knocked alot for breasfeeding my son but i dont even think about or even really pay attention to how they feed there child. i stand up for what i am doing and drop the rest. its what we all should learn is tolerance.

Laura Zoey - posted on 05/24/2011

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Since we are posting weights etc just thought I'd throw out erics stats cyz he was quite unusual :) born at 8lbs he was 10 by 1 month, 14 by two months 18 by three months, 20 by four months, 22 by five months, 23 by six months, started crawling here, 25 lbs by nine months, started walking here, 26 lbs by one year, 27 by one and a half, and 28at two years!
He was well over the 100% for his first six months, and now is at 26% at two years.
H began solids about ten months btw, never been constipated in his life, and is still b-fed currently.
IQ- who cares it's negligible
Bonding-bull! Although if you ffeed and never actually feed the baby yourself, ie dad does it, or prop bottle, then sure you won't be bonded as well. It's about the time and attention. Breastfeeding forces you to spend so much time together so bonding is easier, but not necessarily better then a formula fed baby.
Besides dads bond just great without feeding the babies right! Matt sure has....

Sara - posted on 05/24/2011

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*MOD WARNING*

Ok, ladies, let's keep it nice and lay off the personal attacks please....

Sara B.
DM Mod

Becky - posted on 05/24/2011

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Just wanted to point out that it was actually Dr. Newman who called it "artificial feeding," not anyone on here. Today, anyways. :)
Both of my sons were ebf, the youngest for 8 months. Both were on the smaller side, but both were completely developmentally on target. Both sat at 5 months, crawled at 7 and 8 months respectively, and walked at 12 1/2 and 15 months respectively. My youngest is actually underweight, but is still developmentally on track and healthy - which is why they haven't put him through a whole lot of testing - so I'm going to have to say I'd disagree with the theory that smaller kids are behind developmentally because they're small. More likely, they are small because they are behind developmentally, which includes physical growth.
As far as the bonding goes, yeah, disagree again. While it's true that the primary feeder will often have the stronger bond (which is why parents adopting an older child are advised to not allow anyone else to give them food, to help them develop trust and attachment), even in a formula-fed baby, this is still often the mother. And, there are many other ways of bonding and developing attachment as well. Attachment is not something that just happens passively. Just because I pop my child on my boob does not mean automatically they will attach to me. It is about meeting their needs promptly and sensitively in all areas, not just nutrition. A mom who meets her child's nutritional needs by breastfeeding but does not meet their needs for nurturing touch and loving communication, will have a child who is less securely attached than a mom who meets her child's nutritional needs by formula feeding while cuddling, making eye contact, and cooing at or singing to her baby.
Aaaaand, how are you judging the bonds other people have with their children anyways? Do you know all the signs of a securely attached child? Do you know that a child who seems to be very independent is more likely securely attached than not? This is because their secure attachment to their parents has given them the confidence to explore and try things on their own. An insecurely attached, or poorly bonded child, is more likely to be overly clingy and unwilling to try things on their own because they lack the self-confidence attachment gives. Anyway, sorry that's a bit off-topic, but it's kind of my "area of expertise" sort of, so I just had to address it!

Jeannette - posted on 05/24/2011

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I was comparing the fact that my (breastfed) son and my sisters two (formula fed) kids were just about the same weight at a year. So yes, I was comparing my son to my niece and nephew. However, I wasn't comparing my son to other kids nor was I trying to say anything in a negative way. Some others have stated that you can tell the difference or that breastfed babies are bigger or more intelligent... and all I was trying to point out was that my son and his cousins were all tiny for their age. Probably due to genetics.



I don't believe you can tell if a child was formula or breastfed by looking at them. I wasn't the person who said that.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/24/2011

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Totally unnessasary and rude comment Sharon. No need for that bullshit.

And Jeannette, you were absolutely making a comparison. My point is, there is no certain way to tell. Genetics would be the best way to determine a childs growth and developement, along with nurturing, love AND nutrition. Not just one single item.


My husband is 6ft 1inch....I am 4ft 11 3/4ths inches. My son is 5 years old, he is the tallest out of 18 kids in his class, and out weights them all. He is not fat, he is active, and smart...also a very sensitive boy. I have no idea if all the other kids in his class were ff, or bf...or both. In the long run, it does not matter.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/24/2011

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Totally unnessasary and rude comment Sharon. No need for that bullshit.

And Jeannette, you were absolutely making a comparison. My point is, there is no certain way to tell. Genetics would be the best way to determine a childs growth and developement, along with nurturing, love AND nutrition. Not just one single item.


My husband is 6ft 1inch....I am 4ft 11 3/4ths inches. My son is 5 years old, he is the tallest out of 18 kids in his class, and out weights them all. He is not fat, he is active, and smart...also a very sensitive boy. I have no idea if all the other kids in his class were ff, or bf...or both. In the long run, it does not matter.

Krista - posted on 05/24/2011

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/runs away and hides.

Rosie - posted on 05/24/2011

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holy shit sharon!!....

Jeannette - posted on 05/24/2011

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I wasn't comparing numbers, I just say some others stating differences in formula fed kids and breastfeeding kids weight, so I was just writing from my experience. At 18 months, my son is still tiny at 21 lbs and 8 oz. But I'm not saying that is because he was breastfed. He eats like a fiend. My sisters 3 year old is only around 30-35 and again, she was formula fed and is healthy and happy.



My son was 6 lbs 10 oz at birth and up to 10 lbs at 1 month, so that first month he gained amazingly quick, but then slowed to a normal pace.

Sapphire - posted on 05/24/2011

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At my son's 1 year checkup he was just around 20 pounds. But, he was also 4 pouns, 13 ounces at birth. He met all his milestones on the lower end of the average spectrum, which was to be expected since he was born a month early. By age 3, he was fully caught up and exceeding his peers. He received more formula than breastmilk, but I did attempt to nurse for 9 months. Big whoopie-doo! You cannot tell who in his Kinder class is forumla or BF.

Jeannette - posted on 05/24/2011

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I'm actually not sure what you are trying to tell me, Marina?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/24/2011

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At my sons first year check up, his weight 24lbs (70%) and length 31 inches (91%)...sorry had trouble finding his year one....so if we want to compare numbers....and my child was FF and BF.

Sapphire - posted on 05/24/2011

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I always love the higher IQ componenet. Yes, there are studies that have shown a raised IQ, but only by a mere few points. The average is still 100 on the Weschler scale. As an educator that exclusively worked with the Gifted population for 4 school years, I also did my Graduate level research in Gifted Education. I also ran the Gifted Assessments for the district as well. Seriously, parents do not check the little box of "breastfed" or "formula" when having their child tested for Gifted eligibility. There are other factors that play into it by the time a child is school-age.

And bonding?! Don't you dare tell another mother that she cannot bond well with a FF baby! I call out bullshit on that one! That's someone's personal problem and no where near close to the truth of reality.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/24/2011

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Ok Jeannette, I went to find my sons baby book. At 16 1/2 months old, he was 27 lbs 10oz (so 28 lbs) (73%for weight) 34 1/2 inches long (94% for height). He was combination breast fed formula fed until he was 7 months old. I stopped BF all together at 7 months, and he strictly FF and table food at that point. Do I need to continue...or is this self explanatory??

Jeannette - posted on 05/24/2011

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@ Marina, 18 months.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/24/2011

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How old is your son Jeannette?

Jeannette - posted on 05/24/2011

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Also, since I just skimmed some of the other posts, my son was 19 lbs 14 oz at his year check up. He was eating 3 meals, 2 snacks and breastfeeding 6 times a day and he was only awake 10 hours. He wasn't yet walking at that point. My sisters two fully formula fed kids each weighed a little less then my son at their year check up. Weight depends on genetics as well as how they are eating. My son hit all his milestones on target, although now I think he is slow to talk. So did my sister's kids and my friend (who formula fed her two) hit theirs on time as well. So yes, I can understand when information comes out saying things that would make a formula feeding mom feel bad, I can understand getting aggravated.

For some kids breastfeeding might make them have an higher IQ.... (and yes, that was one of the pluses for me) however, who really knows if that is true or not? And I started my son on solids at 6 months and he loved them and by 8 months he was eating what we ate. But again, it all depends on the child.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/24/2011

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Jaime, I totally understand you do not agree with Mel but your statement "And there are quite a few ladies in this debate that have debunked your bullshit ad nauseum and you're still at it. Lesson one; when to recognize that you may be full of shit.... "

Come on...no need for that.

Jeannette - posted on 05/24/2011

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I don't necessarily feel like I bonded with my son because I breastfed him. I feel I bonded with him from all around caring for him. And as of right now (at 18 months) he like daddy more then me. Of course, right? :) When I fed him, I didn't feel closer to him and it wasn't as "magical" for me as some people say, for me it was just feeding him. You can bond just as well with formula feeding but mainly that probably depends on the type of child you have.

I know these debates can get heated, but I was hoping that wouldn't happen. I should have just stuck with my original topic. I definitely don't mind reading others people's opinions. I just know that I, personally, as a breastfeeding mother don't tell other women horror stories of formula. I just say I breastfed because it was right for us. I think formula is just fine. I kept the formula samples I was sent in case we needed to use them. It's just too bad that there has to be all this wrong and negative information going around.

Sarah - posted on 05/24/2011

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Well put Ms Cheese!

Rosie - posted on 05/24/2011

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what really gets me about all of this artificially fed baby crap is that those who spout the ignorance, are also guilty of "artifically feeding" their toddlers, and school aged children. mcnuggets and juice, or alot of sugary fruit, or any other imperfect food out there is a hell of a lot worse for our kids than formula, yet somehow it's ONLY BABIES that matter when it comes to nutrition. older children aren't as important. kinda like how pro-lifers are generally only worried about cute little helpless babies in the womb, instead of the abused child it would come to be. *eyeroll*

Sarah - posted on 05/24/2011

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Ahhhhh my poor artificially fed, unloved girls ;)

Kellie - posted on 05/24/2011

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ahh sorry missed that, I was consumed by all the shit I was neck deep in I couldn't take it all in or I would have drowned.

Isobel - posted on 05/24/2011

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"Tara Kruusi - posted 27 minutes ago

"The breastfed baby digests solid foods better and earlier than the artificially fed baby because breastmilk contains enzymes that help digest fats, proteins, and starch."

http://www.drjacknewman.com/help/Startin... "

Kellie - posted on 05/24/2011

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Jesus Laura where in the Hell did you hear that one?!?!

Kellie - posted on 05/24/2011

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I am sitting here once again totally gobsmacked.

Mel you need to stop. You are so far from wrong your not even on the playing field.

I am so fucking over hearing the "women who formula feed don't bond as well with their babies as women who breastfeed do" crap.

This is TOTAL fucking BULLSHIT and HIGHLY offensive.

It is YOU (general you as well as you personally Mel) projecting YOUR lack of bonding with YOUR child onto ME.

This is NOT my issue it is YOURS, Do not continue (all who think this way as I've come across more than one) to push YOUR guilt for failing to bond with YOUR child onto me and other Mum's who don't breastfeed for whatever reason.

My daughter and I have an AMAZING bond. She IS *GASP* BOTTLE FED. OMG call child services now.

FFS

Tah, once again I love your work,

Isobel - posted on 05/24/2011

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"artificially fed babies" there's a lovely neutral term for ya

Tara - posted on 05/24/2011

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While I don't know him personally as you know your baby nurses, here is a bio of Dr. Jack Newman...
I tend to believe his life long research about breastfeeding..

Dr. Newman was born in Tel Aviv, moving to Canada when he was fifteen months old.

He graduated from the University of Toronto medical school in 1970, interning at the Vancouver General Hospital before working as senior house surgeon at the Hutt Hospital in New Zealand. Between 1977 and 1981 he did his paediatric training in Quebec City and Toronto, becoming a Fellow of the Royal College of Physicians of Canada in 1980 and board certified by the American Academy of Pediatrics in 1981. For the next 1½ years he worked as a pediatrician at the Umtata Hospital in South Africa, and it was here that his passion for breastfeeding was ignited. From 1983 to 1992 Dr. Newman worked as a staff pediatrician at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto.

In 1984 he opened the first hospital-based breastfeeding clinic in Canada, at Toronto's Hospital for Sick Children. Several more clinics have been opened under the guidance of Dr. Jack Newman, although all the hospital based clinics have now closed. The last clinic at the North York General Hospital garnered support at the end of 2005 when it was announced that it was being closed but was closed regardless.

Currently he is working at the Newman Breastfeeding Clinic & Institute in Toronto situated in the Canadian College of Naturopathic Medicine.
[edit]

Tara - posted on 05/24/2011

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"The breastfed baby digests solid foods better and earlier than the artificially fed baby because breastmilk contains enzymes that help digest fats, proteins, and starch."

http://www.drjacknewman.com/help/Startin...

Mel - posted on 05/24/2011

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ok Krista, I found the site because I was looking for a link, from what I was told by my child health nurse it happens with alot of breast fed babies hence why I wrote it. People have made out on here before that it is due to them not being ready which was total BS it is a time thing. I was just letting tara know there is a link and that it does happen. She made it sound like everything I wrote about that was crap.

Krista - posted on 05/24/2011

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Even then, Mel, you totally misrepresented what was written.

What you wrote: ""...Another down side ot breast feeding is that breast fed babies often have trouble when solids are introduced to their diet due to breast milk being so easily digested, where as formula babies are generally fine,...""

What the site says: "breastfed babies may be more prone to constipation when solid foods are introduced. This is because their tiny tummies are used to processing the easily and highly digestible mother's milk"

Can you not see the difference in what was written here?

The way you wrote it, you make it sound as though the overwhelming majority of breast-fed babies have trouble with constipation when solids are introduced.

The site you quoted says that IF constipation occurs, that breastfeeding may have been one of many contributing factors.

You may think that the difference is subtle, but it's not. You've completely misunderstood and misrepresented what that site said.

Mel - posted on 05/24/2011

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for tara, just looked up some info on breast fed babies and why they become constipated when being introduced to solid foods. Theres a whole heap of sites. Google it yourself. Although I did think that fact would be common sense

Tah - posted on 05/24/2011

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nothing i wrote was confusing to anyone else...and ill leave it there...