Can we do this?? Just once?

Esther - posted on 08/23/2009

Quoting Carol:

It's the hipness of stupidity. 

Perfectly put! That's exactly what it is. I hope that trend stops before my son starts going to school because I will be having none of that in my home.

Johnny - posted on 08/20/2009

Coming into this thread late in the game, I am impressed by how polite a bitching thread can be. All sorts of women who disagree on all sorts of issues, but we know what makes us mad. And it seems to be much the same stuff.

I totally agree with all of you who complained about the lack of basic English skills. I use a desktop dictionary/thesaurus and my browser's spell checker, it's basic respect for those reading what you're saying. If you want someone to treat you nicely and respond to you politely, at least show some manners. I do understand that not everyone has a high level of education or has English as a first language, but that doesn't seem to be the issue here.

It's the hipness of stupidity. People think it is cool and there was even a documentary made about the phenomenon a year or so ago. Now, people are proud to be morons. Culturally we praise dumbness and idiocy. And it's clearly showing up in the parenting world.

No matter how terrible a thing someone does with their kid, they seem to feel that they are entitled do whatever the hell they like because it's their kid. Ummm... no. You responsible for the best interests of your child, and if you aren't serving that, then you've got no business being a parent. You can not be greedy and self-absorbed all the time, you lost that right the moment that child passed through your loins or slipped out that incision. So I'm really tired of reading comments where a mom says it's her choice. Get over yourself! Especially people who asked for advice and then don't like what they get. If I'm looking for help, I post where I know I'll get useful responses, not usually on the Welcome page. And if I've already tried something or I will not take a certain action, then I put that in there so people don't bother suggesting it.

And the racism just pisses me off.

Krista - posted on 08/20/2009

Oh and another thing.....PEOPLE WHO TYPE ALL IN CAPITALS and PeOpLe WhO TAlk LIkE DIS should automatically be banned from any use on these boards. What kind of mentality do you have if you're typing like an imbecile? I get that some people have broken English. I get that some people just aren't THAT great at spelling properly, but there is NO need for this childish display.

Krista - posted on 08/20/2009

What makes me REALLY angry is people who ASK for help, but don't take it or come back and say that you're wrong. You're asking for opinions. Take it or leave it, but don't start with me.

?? - posted on 08/20/2009

Damn those manicures, and don't forget the pedi's too.









Waffle.

Charlie - posted on 08/20/2009

Like ....i am annoyed at slanderous remarks regarding professional manicure's , it's like so wrong , what did acrylic ever do to you ;)

Jeannette - posted on 08/19/2009

There is a double standard here...that's for certain. I make effort not to call names, nor do I bash anyone's beliefs. I see others make the same effort. It seems to be accepted if some of the people on here do it though....but not everyone is allowed. Interesting....

Racism irks me more though.....I can handle immaturity from "adult moms", but racism bothers me more for certain. I have several family members in mixed marriages and my children date outside their race. I say people are people....they are good/bad no matter their skin color. I will point out though...I am unlikely to become a basher on a racist either. Maybe I am learning from Obama on this one. :0)

Esther - posted on 08/19/2009

Quoting Katherine:

I would like to know which thread that was about racism, THAT is NOT ok.

Katherine - I think people are referring to the Welfare thread. It went in a bit of a xenophobic direction.

Katherine - posted on 08/19/2009

I would like to know which thread that was about racism, THAT is NOT ok.

Crystal - posted on 08/19/2009

Okay, I'm back on, and calmed down. I'm glad to see that others on this community share my views toward racism; I was feeling discouraged after looking at some of the comments on that thread.

(As a sidenote, -after reading all the 'spelling' comments- I did spell "gripe" wrong, but was caught up in the heat of the moment! :)

Dawn: I understand your last post, as I have a strong faith and some of my views are more traditional. I hope that people don't assume that I'm trying to force some agenda on them.

DAWN - posted on 08/19/2009

It bothers me when people assume just because you have traditional views that you must be a religion fanatic.

DAWN - posted on 08/19/2009

Quoting Crystal:

OKAY I want to grip too!!!!!!!!
You know what makes my blood boil???????
RACISM!!!!
I cannot STAND racism toward any culture!!! yuck yuck YUCK it makes me want to puke!!
I just skimmed through a thread on this community with MAJOR racism. Getting off the computer now to stop thinking about it.

I think I know the one you are talking about and it botherd me as well.  I do not get angry or offended easily but that one thread did get to me. It made me very angry.

. - posted on 08/19/2009

Quoting Loureen:

I get so annoyed at the Pushy religious folk who have no respect for anyone else's beliefs or feelings on COM .
Seriously shit's me , it's not everyone just a FEW !

There are a few who do that, that becomes annoying.

The text lingo annoy's me too!

I found a few years ago too (going off subject) that here in my city, alot of teen's go out of their way to spell a word incorrectly and longer then the original word is spelt, eg speshewl- special.

Oh, And When People Type Like This! This Annoys Me Too!

Melissa - posted on 08/19/2009

Quoting Veronica:

im tired of the same questions too - over and over and over and over and over and over a n d o v e eeerrrrrrrr.... LOL Such as: potty training, getting your kids to sleep, poop training, pee training, bed wetting, baby wont sleep, why wont my kids sleep, when will my kids poop, why wont my baby sit still, why wont my kids behave, blah blah blah blah blah -- I know that these are genuine questions - but then why not make a Potty Training Group, and A - Get your kids to bed - Group -- you know? I guess im tired of seeing the same stuff. It gets boring...

I know what you mean. Sometimes I think people know nothing of the wonderful site: GOOGLE! Not just for the "why is or isn't my kid doing this or that????" but for the spelling too. I use that damn site more than any other site, I'm sure. When you google something like bed wetting, potty training, etc. not only are there plenty of helpful articles, you get forum results too. You get a wider variety of answers if you just do a quick search. No typing up long posts for threads. No waiting for replies. It's all there. Any question you think of has probably already been answered nicely about 500 times. Or.....maybe I just love google too much.

Veronica - posted on 08/19/2009

im tired of the same questions too - over and over and over and over and over and over a n d o v e eeerrrrrrrr.... LOL Such as: potty training, getting your kids to sleep, poop training, pee training, bed wetting, baby wont sleep, why wont my kids sleep, when will my kids poop, why wont my baby sit still, why wont my kids behave, blah blah blah blah blah -- I know that these are genuine questions - but then why not make a Potty Training Group, and A - Get your kids to bed - Group -- you know? I guess im tired of seeing the same stuff. It gets boring...

Veronica - posted on 08/19/2009

Gosh, i dont even remember Sarah -- but i do remember having a good seperate conversation with you -- and i've felt better and my husband and I have been doing tons better since -sometimes i think venting and then looking back at your words - gives you a different perspective. Cause i know i will start bitching on a comment - then i read what i wrote, and read what they write/explain -WHY -- and then the perspective changes. I tried to apologize, and make peice with passmore -- but THAT didnt work! LOL Anyways-- its still a great site - and the forums are fun.

Charlie - posted on 08/19/2009

i had a inductmentation Too !! lol

Iz i sound smartz

Sarah - posted on 08/19/2009

I had an inducement Mary........
sorry couldn't resist! :)

Mary - posted on 08/19/2009

Inducement....if I see that word one more freaking time, I'm going to spontaneously combust!! INDUCTION is the correct term. (thank you, I feel better now!)



The thing that shocked and appalled me the most when I first joined here was the judgemental hostility exhibited on some of the more innocuous threads. As a first time momma, I didn't know that things like co-sleeping/baby-wearing/breastfeeding/CIO were such outrageously controversial topics that warranted such harsh words and name-calling. Really, if your neighbor co-sleeps and it works for her, what's the big freaking deal if you don't? We all do things a little differently, and there is no ultimate authority to say which of us is "wrong" or "right"...hopefully, everyone is doing the very best they can by their child, and all the decisions they make on such issues are done out of love, with a little bit of trial and error thrown in!

?? - posted on 08/19/2009

Quoting Sarah:

Just goes to show....that if people take time to ask WHY someone feels the way they do, you can (sometimes at least) get on quite well! :)

Charlie - posted on 08/19/2009

I get so annoyed at the Pushy religious folk who have no respect for anyone else's beliefs or feelings on COM .
Seriously shit's me , it's not everyone just a FEW !

Sarah - posted on 08/19/2009

Quoting Veronica:

That is so entirely true -- there are a lot of factors for people -- like i said - ive learned a lot from other mothers on this site - and i hope ive helped some too

Funny to look back and remember that the first thread we spoke on we were arguing! lol!

Just goes to show....that if people take time to ask WHY someone feels the way they do, you can (sometimes at least) get on quite well! :)

Veronica - posted on 08/19/2009

Awesome. Im glad I posted this thread. I know I get hotheaded myself. And I come off as a big bitch and then i cool off. Im passive -aggressive quite a bit. I haven't quite got the assertiveness down pat yet. Im very interested in the debates and concerns of everyone. But my annoyance is people will ask for help - but throw your suggestions out like trash -- I feel like we are in a popularity or favoritism contest - whoever you feel at the time that has the best advice for YOU wins. I have learned A LOT since Ive been on COM, and Ive changed a lot of my parenting too. Something will come up, and I'll remember a post that dealt with the same topic, and I implement some of the suggesstions. Some have been successful, some need work, and others didnt work at all. I think it is hard to share ideas and opinions without blowing up because then people strike that nerve by JUDGING and ASSUMING right away -- and perhaps Ive done the same thing - not to my knowledge -- but im sorry if I have come across in that way. But without good debates, and setting people in their place - it would be boring too. Keep the filthy language out -- as much as you can, and i personally think all would be fine... LOL Thanks for the posts -- i thought this was a great post too.

Esther - posted on 08/19/2009

The spelling thing REALLY irritates me too (sorry, I'm late to this thread). I'm Dutch and I have a better command of English than a lot of the women on COMs who were born & raised speaking English (or at least some variety of the language that they would like to call English). Racism also really bothers me A LOT. But maybe my #1 annoyance with some women on COM is their utter lack of compassion for anyone beside themselves and their own kind. As long as number one is taken care off, screw everyone else. That never fails to make my blood boil.

Joy - posted on 08/19/2009

People argue with YOUUU???? JO????? NOOOO THEY DON'T!!!!! YOU'RE WROOONGGG! (ok that's my failed attempt at arguing with you lol) I agree 110% with what Sarah said about your posts. You make me laugh and if people took one second to get to know you they would see that you use a lot of "tongue in cheek" humor in your words. You're passionate about how you feel on things and you definitely have more b@lls than me when it comes to saying how you really feel. For me, I need a little "liquid courage" to post like you lol

And Sarah....no one skips over your post! Trust me, we read them with baited breath...lol I don't see your posts as wishy washy at all. You say what you think and how you feel, you just happen to have a "kinder, gentler" approach than Jo does lol

Sarah - posted on 08/19/2009

You know Jo, i think the way you phrase your posts, intelligent, funny and straight to the point, is why you get 'called out' so often. Your posts draw people in and make them think. That's a GREAT thing so don't ever change!
My wishy-washy posts get skipped over! lol! :)

?? - posted on 08/19/2009

www.dictionary.com



It is one of my favorites - I look up little words sometimes just to make sure I have the correct meaning (even if I vaguely know the meaning - I like to check to make sure I'm not using my vocabulary out of context.)



This is a debating forum with so many very intelligent women - if I'm going to make a post with a point that I want to be taken seriously, I will take the time I need to properly prepare what I want to say. Sometimes it STILL comes off wrong and there are typos and odd spelling mistakes - but there's no harm in properly preparing ANY post that I'm basically throwing into a melting pot of ideas, thoughts, opinions and truths.



And I try really hard to make as much sense as possible because people just love to argue with me for some f'cked up reason. I can say the same thing as 5 other women and I'm the one that gets called out lol it's amusing to me but I guess people just don't like the way I word things!

Joy - posted on 08/19/2009

Quoting Mary:

I heard a story today about how text messaging and I-Ming are destroying the English language. I was a TA for many of my 2-300 lvl (soph, jun) profs during grad school 8 years ago, and let me tell you...the language has slowly been deteriorating for a LONG time. I am not a great speller...but I certainly don't spell words incorrectly on purpose in order to make typing quicker or easier...that drives me crazy! Our jr. college GRADS in the states are failing college writing and literacy entrance exams! Does that horrify anyone else...it's not just happening on line, it's happening in the academic and professional worlds as well!

On the spelling issue.....I don't use spell check but I do frequent www.websters.com if I don't know how to spell something.  I get a typo here and there, everyone does that.  But when someone is trying to use a "big" word and they mutilate it....grrrrrr lol LOOK IT UP BEFORE YOU LOOK LIKE A FOOL!  LOL

ME - posted on 08/19/2009

...and don't get me started about racism...I actually got called rev. Farrakhan for raising issues of racism and social injustice on a thread (in a different group). I almost gave up on COM right then and there, but then I found you ladies, and all was right with the world again!

ME - posted on 08/19/2009

I heard a story today about how text messaging and I-Ming are destroying the English language. I was a TA for many of my 2-300 lvl (soph, jun) profs during grad school 8 years ago, and let me tell you...the language has slowly been deteriorating for a LONG time. I am not a great speller...but I certainly don't spell words incorrectly on purpose in order to make typing quicker or easier...that drives me crazy! Our jr. college GRADS in the states are failing college writing and literacy entrance exams! Does that horrify anyone else...it's not just happening on line, it's happening in the academic and professional worlds as well!

Iris - posted on 08/19/2009

Ok, my turn.
Racism #1 on my list. As a mother of 2 biracial girls this really gets to me, oh, and you know what?? My daughters are just as much white as they are black..50/50, you know! Yes I agree Crystal, racism against any culture annoys the ..... out of me! We're all human.

Sara - posted on 08/19/2009

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh...I remember that one...I lost interest myself, I have no desire to debate that kind of stuff with people, just makes me angry!

Joy - posted on 08/19/2009

Sarah, the thread I was referring to was the one where everyone was jumping on Mexicans for coming here, taking our jobs, soaking up benefits, blah, blah, blah. I don't remember the exact thread but it was about a week ago (maybe longer). I don't know if that's the same one Crystal was talking about but that is the one I had to stop reading. I think the original post on that thread was either about welfare or health care reform in the US.

?? - posted on 08/19/2009

I think the #1 thing that really pisses me off about the people who have outright shown racism on this forum - THEY HAVE CHILDREN. They are raising their children to be racists too.



Jessica, I know what you mean. Another aspect of that same thing, that I hate - when people CLAIM to be child specialists or child psychologists when in all reality all they've done is read some crap online or 1 or 2 books about it.



(I am LMAO right now saying that - because that is pretty much the exact same thing I posted before that brought Christina Sheps to DM & started her bitchfest @ me)



There was one thread though - where there was a district attorney stating information that she had just used in a court case to get a mother off of manslaughter charges because that mothers child died in its sleep, they called it SIDS, and it turned out that the child had died of CO2 poisoning from co-sleeping.



This lawyer, was stating scientific evidence that CO2 poisoning could explain some of the co-sleeping and SIDS deaths. And people were actually ARGUING with her, telling her that she was stupid and didn't know anything and that you can't explain away SIDS just by saying that it was CO2.



I had to stop reading the thread because it was just... stupid! Sometimes the smartest thing is to accept that you don't know everything and that someone else might know something that you don't know!

Sara - posted on 08/19/2009

Quoting Joy :

I agree Chrystal.....racism is a HUGE issue for me too. Racism = Ignorance. Hopefully we can breed it out of society eventually.....
And I think I know the thread you're talking about. I had to stop reading there. It was pissing me off way too much because you can't reason with a racist.

What thread are you talking about?  i want to read it!

Sarah - posted on 08/19/2009

Ok, so i've given this thread a bit of a wide berth......mainly because i never get angry or cross or need to vent........NOT! lol :)

Loads of things annoy me. Things that happen on this site annoy me. I think probably my major number one annoyance is the way people phrase things on here.
There's no need to call names or come across as a bitch to get your point across. You don't have to put others down or criticize to get your point across. You can be polite and respectful and still get what you want to say said.
That's why i started this group......to try and prove that a bunch of grown women CAN have a debate without it resorting to nastiness (something i think we've mostly achieved!)
Yes you can be strong minded and vocal and passionate etc.......but you don't need to get really nasty you know? (not all the time anyway! haha!)
:)

Joy - posted on 08/19/2009

I agree Chrystal.....racism is a HUGE issue for me too. Racism = Ignorance. Hopefully we can breed it out of society eventually.....

And I think I know the thread you're talking about. I had to stop reading there. It was pissing me off way too much because you can't reason with a racist.

Crystal - posted on 08/19/2009

OKAY I want to grip too!!!!!!!!

You know what makes my blood boil???????

RACISM!!!!

I cannot STAND racism toward any culture!!! yuck yuck YUCK it makes me want to puke!!

I just skimmed through a thread on this community with MAJOR racism. Getting off the computer now to stop thinking about it.

Jessica - posted on 08/19/2009

Okay here goes....I am sick and tired of people thinking that you are stupid or donn't know what you're talking about just because you don't have the same schooling they do!!! I can read anything and get the same info as anyone else out there, so why do peopleassume your ignorant because you don't agree with them or you believe there is another way to do things. Also you can be a freakin' rocket scientist but you can't live my life and my experiences so back off...my life dictates how I view the world around me and my experiences have made me believe the things I do today. So get a grip all you high and mighty people out there who think that just because you have a few extra letters behind your name your stuff don't stink!



Thank you for starting this post I feel much better now.

?? - posted on 08/19/2009

You are so original Krista LMAO



I think that makes for original thought #238948290438920482309 for COM lol

Krista - posted on 08/19/2009

Quoting Jo:

I bet that took you the whole 10 minutes to type out compared to the 30 seconds it took me to type this sentance that is twice as long as that one LOL

Yes, it took some serious concentration!  It's kind of fun, though, to disregard all rules of grammar, punctuation, and spelling.  I think I might adopt a new persona on another forum and write like that...oh, wait...that's been done before...

Veronica - posted on 08/19/2009

hahahaha

?? - posted on 08/19/2009

I bet that took you the whole 10 minutes to type out compared to the 30 seconds it took me to type this sentence that is twice as long as that one LOL

Krista - posted on 08/19/2009

Jo i dunno y u is bein so jugmentil jus cuz i don spell gud duznt mean i aint smart





;)

?? - posted on 08/19/2009

Jenn, the sad thing is that everyone and their mom (hehehe) is purposely spelling words as easy as LOOSE, LOSER, LOSE, & LOSS wrong - they sound DUMB but I can use words like STUPIDER and FUNNER and use the term THINGAMAJIGGY and still sound, look, BE 721381387 times smarter than the ones we all know I'm talking about!!!



Your.

You're.

Its

It's



I've even seen someone - repeatedly say - "Yea, you's are right."



Sometimes spelling mistakes happen for EVERYONE... but when the majority of your posts are "typos" and spelling mistakes, I gotta wonder if that *mom* has any smarts at all!!!

Krista - posted on 08/19/2009

I think that a lot of women have issues on this site, because of the wide range of view points that they come into contact with here. In people's everyday lives, they tend to surround themselves with others who think and act a lot like themselves, and so they're constantly getting validation for their opinions. Here, though, there's literally MILLIONS of people who could have the exact opposite opinion than they do, and some women just can't handle that. I know it was a big eye opener for me to see how many mothers out there do things that I wouldn't think of doing as a mother. At first, a lot of things horrified me, but you've just got to realize that different things are normal to different people.



Dumb people, though...that's another story. I have no patience or respect for people who can't even communicate properly in their (not there, not they're) own language. I'm not going to judge someone for a couple typos or misspellings, but when you have to use every ounce of concentration to figure out what someone is trying to say...they're not worth the effort, and I feel bad for the example that they're setting for their kids. That's why I so love this group. So far, all of the dumb asses have stayed away and we can have intelligent conversations!

Konda - posted on 08/19/2009

I am guilty of misusing words...oh well! I also hate misspelling....download a spell-check program people, most are free!!



I get pissed at people that can't "debate", this is not just a 'hey how ya doing forum', it is a place where people give opinions and more times than not, not everyone is going to agree. It is NOT a personal attack to disagree....THAT IS WHAT WE ARE HERE FOR! I think the administrator should add to the page that those with thin skin should not join...good grief!!!! I like heated debates, and don't want to feel the need to wipe someone's tears away because they got their feeling hurt.

Katherine - posted on 08/19/2009

I also think people can't discern from OPINION and personal attacks. There is a huge difference So many take things way too personally. That's why so many things get flagged and trust me I'm still scratching my head about a lot of them. I'm trying to make this a productive community. Is everyone going to be happy? Of course not but I totally understand the need to vent. There are forums for that (for the people who can't handle constructive criticism and opinions) Now it's appropriate for this one because it is DEBATING mums.

Dana - posted on 08/19/2009

Quoting Jenn:

Quoting Jo:

I think I'm one of the ones people find it "hard to get along with" because I don't just... succomb and I don't just... sit back and go "oki u win, u da massah" when it's obvious they think anyone who disagrees with them should be shinin their shoes.

And 'for serious people' LEARN TO SPELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOOSE ... OO double OO in LOOSE = NOT TIGHT.
LOSER ... O single O in LOSER = DORK, WEINER, LAH-WHO-ZAH-HER.
LOSE ... O single O in LOSE = TO MISPLACE or NOT WIN
LOSS ... SS double S in LOSS = THE OPPOSITE OF WIN OR GET it is A LOSS.

THERE = in or at that place - opposed to HERE
THEIR = the possessive case of they... it is their place.
THEY'RE = THEY... ARE...

Is it REALLY so freakin hard to know the differences? Use freakin spell check. How do you expect your children to learn how to spell and use grammar or punctuation if you can't??? Why does anyone CHOOSE to be stupider than they actually are, ON PURPOSE.

Yeah!!  Damn the Grammar Police!!!!

 

(oh, and the correct wording is,  " ................choose to be DUMBER than they actually are"  -  'stupider' is not a word.  =P)

Dana - posted on 08/19/2009

Quoting Jenn:

Quoting Jo:

I think I'm one of the ones people find it "hard to get along with" because I don't just... succomb and I don't just... sit back and go "oki u win, u da massah" when it's obvious they think anyone who disagrees with them should be shinin their shoes.

And 'for serious people' LEARN TO SPELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOOSE ... OO double OO in LOOSE = NOT TIGHT.
LOSER ... O single O in LOSER = DORK, WEINER, LAH-WHO-ZAH-HER.
LOSE ... O single O in LOSE = TO MISPLACE or NOT WIN
LOSS ... SS double S in LOSS = THE OPPOSITE OF WIN OR GET it is A LOSS.

THERE = in or at that place - opposed to HERE
THEIR = the possessive case of they... it is their place.
THEY'RE = THEY... ARE...

Is it REALLY so freakin hard to know the differences? Use freakin spell check. How do you expect your children to learn how to spell and use grammar or punctuation if you can't??? Why does anyone CHOOSE to be stupider than they actually are, ON PURPOSE.

Yeah!!  Damn the Grammar Police!!!!

 

(oh, and the correct wording is,  " ................choose to be DUMBER than they actually are"  -  'stupider' is not a word.  =P)