Children and make up!!

Lisamarie - posted on 03/10/2010 ( 25 moms have responded )

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I'm not sure if any of you are familiar with "Supernanny" Jo Frost, I watched one of her "Extreme Parental Guidance" shows on TV last night which featured young girls as young as 13, dressing like what I can only describe as a corner street hookers, plastered in make-up, which the mother helps her to apply, and going to clubs for over 16's. One girl even saying she walked past boys on purpose to make them look and she dresses and acts like she does to feel like an adult and her mum bought her the make up and clothes to keep her daughter happy!

This got me thinking about make up and young girls. What is the "right" age for your child to start expressing themselves through make-up, if they wish to.

Growing up I have watched my own mum applying her make-up EVERY single day, she has always taken care of her appearance, even with 5 kids under 7 running around! I think, personally this is very important, I like to make myself look good because it makes me feel good. I do not bby any means think I'm ugly, but I think make up enhances, not covers!

My step dad would not allow my younger sister or I to wear make up to school, although we did borrow friends while we were at school!! We were, however allowed to wear a little at weekends and after school, just a bit of mascara and lip gloss, nothing major, when we were about 14.

I don't wear make up every day, if I'm not doing anything I'll leave it but if I feel crappy I do put it on, I look good, I feel good!

I have a 3 yr old daughter, I don't talk about myself or anyone else in a bad way, I don't constatly whine about weight or my appearance, I just take care of it. I do not want my daughter to feel like she needs make up or have any body issues, I've told her every single day of her life she is beautiful. She looks in the mirror and says "Look, mummy, Destiny's beautiful." :)

She has gotten into my make up bag once and was suprised to find out she knew exactly what make up went where (I suppose she must watch me doing it a lot) she has been asking recently if she can have some on, I have put lipstick and only lipstick on her twice and I would never take her out the house or post pictures of her everywhere all "dolled up"!

So my question is, when do you feel is the right time, if any, to allow your daughter to wear make up and to what extent?

I really don't know how I feel on this subject and am intrigued to find out peoples responces. :)

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Lea - posted on 03/11/2010

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I think that makeup is ok in moderation as girls grow up, HOWEVER it should not be used to attract boys!!! That is not what young girls should be focusing on!!! They have their whole life to prepare for. And don't you know what the other kids secretly say about these girls? That's right - "slut".

Cynthia - posted on 03/11/2010

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My seven year old is allowed to wear lip gloss and paint her nails. For very special occasions (like dance recitals) I put some eye shadow on her. but for every day she has her glitter gloss - she does it more for her girlfriends than for boys' attention.

Jess - posted on 03/11/2010

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Hmm.... I have never really considered this, but I probably should, I wear make up to work, so its envitable that my daugther will see me and want to wear it too. I guess if she asked, I would run one of my make up brushes over her face (without anything on it) and hope that pleased her. If not, maybe some blush, or clean lip gloss. The best way to wear make up is to look like your not ! So when the time comes for her to learn how to wear it, thats the approch I will take. If my daughter had acne I would want for her to be able to cover it up, and do that effectivly so when she gets to high school I will teach her good make up skills for concealer and foundation.

Irene - posted on 03/10/2010

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No makeup before 16. The last thing I need is my 12 year-old daughter looking like she's 20. I have enough problems.

Iris - posted on 03/10/2010

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My oldest is 10 and I allow her to wear lip gloss. Mascara can be allowed around 13. I take her with me when I go for a Manicure and Pedicure and she gets her finger and toe nails painted.
She just started shaving this year. Being biracial the hair on her legs is more darker and noticeable then mine were at her age, so when she started feeling uncomfortable about it we had a little lesson in how to shave your legs.

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Lea - posted on 03/11/2010

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I was speaking in general about everyone's posts, talking about girls they know trying to get boys. I wasn't speaking to anyone specifically.

Cynthia - posted on 03/11/2010

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I SURE hope you were not talking about my post! Obviously you SERIOUSLY mis read it! I said she puts it on with her little girlfriends and NOT for boys attention.

Erin - posted on 03/10/2010

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I would be fine with tinted lip balm or clear lip gloss from 9 or 10. Then maybe a brown mascara and concealer for pimples around 12 (which is first year of highschool here). Full make up though (as in foundation, eyeliner, eyeshadow etc? That won't be happening until my daughter's late teens. And she will learn that school is a place for the basics only - no smoky eyes etc.



As for shaving, I will play that by ear. Although I have dark hair, I am not a very hairy person. Her father is though, so there is a chance she will too. In which case I would allow her to start shaving whenever it became an issue for her beyond 9 or 10 I guess. Personally, I remember wanting to start at around 10, Mum said no (my hair was very fair and sparse) and I did it anyway! What a little bitch! LOL.

Lisamarie - posted on 03/10/2010

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I actually like where this conversations going! :) Jenny, my sis was a tombooy from the age of 8 until 16! She NEVER wore skirts, dresses, low tops anything that showed the slightest bit of skin and opted for trousers and jumpers that were about 5 sizes too big! She started wearing make up at 14 but only started wearing "girly" clothes at 17/18 and now she shows A LOT of skin and reapplies her make up AT LEAST twice a day! lol

I started shaving at 12, being darked haired, my sister started at the same time as me when she was 11 but she had darker hair than mine!

Jocelyn, about the hair dye, my mum and step dad allowed me to dye my hair a dark red colour, nothing too drastic as, like I said, I have dark hair so not bright. Anyway, about a year later I had gone back to my natural colour and wanted to try something new, but was then told by my step dad I wasn't allowed until I was 15!! This has never made sense to me! But since 15 I have been dying my hair, (like the make up my mum also had her hair done regularly) and have in fact just had it done yesterday!! Prices are crazy!! But that's beside the point lol! I think if their hair is in a good condition and you get it done properly at a salon then 14/15 is OK. Maybe 12/13 for wash in wash out tints! :)

Sunny - posted on 03/10/2010

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I love, love, love make up! I started wearing it at 12, which in Australia is the start of high school. I had terrible skin and was on medication and would not step foot outside the door until my mum brought me some foundation, which she did but really didnt want to. My little sisters aged 5, 6 and 11 love it when i come down and we play 'make up and hairdressing' though i wouldn't let them leave the house wearing it. I think 10 is a good age for lip gloss, nail polish and glitter. High school is think around 14 or so light foundation and eye make up is fine but they need to be shown how to apply it there is nothing worse then horrible make up on young girls but a little can go so far to help with self esteem.

Jocelyn - posted on 03/10/2010

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Funny story: I was doing my sister's make up for grad last year, and we were sitting on the floor. I had my brushes everywhere and Conner came up and grabbed an eyeshadow brush and started brushing it on my sisters eyelid, smart boy lmao. Anyways.
I think that around 10 years of so, I would allow pale eyeshadow and tinted lop gloss, glitter. At around 12 I will lip gloss, mascara, maybe some eyeshadow, concealer for zits, nothing too bright or bold. After 15 is a different matter imo. Go all out! Wow the things I use to do in high school. Thick lime green eyeliner with glitter, paired with false eyelashes and bright pink lips, or big black smokey eyes, bright red lipstick with swarovsky crystals around my eyebrows, nothing was off limits! I had so much fun in highschool trying to find my "signature look". I think I will be quite sad if my daughter ends up a tomboy :( lol. But I fully plan on teaching my daughter how to apply it properly; imo you end up looking like a skank when your eyeshadow isn't blended and your lip liner shows.
Now about shaving legs...I think that it depends on the hair :) I didn't start shaving until I was 13, I had very fine blond hair up to that point. If my daughters hair darkens or thickens before then, I will let her shave. It's not really a bid deal to me.
Lol can you guys guess where I stand on the hair dye issue? :P

Christy - posted on 03/10/2010

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my daughter will get different types of make-up at different ages. at 19 months she likes to watch me put my make-up on and will ask me to put lip balm on her and i'm more than fine with that. i don't wear the uber-sticky lip gloss, just something with a lil shine and shimmer to it and you really can't tell she's even got anything on. she can tell though and she loves it =). i haven't painted her nails yet but i do look longingly at the cute little Disney Princess nail polishes hehe. i will probably do that for her around her 2nd b-day, when she can sit still long enough to let the polish dry.

i started wearing concealer when i was 11 because i had pimples here and there. i also used powder, very pale blush, and mascara. the only kind of eye shadow i was allowed to use until i was 14 was the clear glitter kind. i was allowed to wear lipstick but it had to be neutral colors, no bright reds or deep purples for me. i also had to wait until i was 14 to start wearing eyeliner. i think those guidelines are pretty reasonable, the only thing i might do differently is let my daughter wear slightly tinted eyeshadow if she wants to around 12 or 13. honestly, i don't know if she'll even get into all that stuff. my mother wore it all, except for eyeliner but all i wear is concealer, blush, mascara, eyeliner and lip balm....

@Sara: i think the leg shaving issue will depend on the hairiness of my daughter lol. i was allowed to start shaving my legs at 9 because my hair was much darker than the other girls and i was self-conscious enough about it to refuse to wear shorts, skirts or dresses no matter how hot it was outside. if Alexia is like me, i will let her start early too because i remember how it felt to be different. if she is lucky and has less noticeable hair i will probably expect her to be somewhere around 11 or 12.

Jenny - posted on 03/10/2010

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I let my 7 year old wear nail polish (no red) and clear or pale pink lip gloss. That is it until high school when I'll allow light shades on her eyes and concealer. Once she's an adult then have at 'er. We had one girl who was wearing high heels and FULL makeup in Kindergarten. We had letters come home remind us to dress our kids appropriately for school.

I'm really shooting for raising a tomboy, at least skater girls wear clothes. She's already got a dirtbike. I'm hoping that by 16 she's more interested in playing in the bush than impressing boys. I doubt it lol but a mom can still dream.

Sara - posted on 03/10/2010

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This may be a departure from the OP, but it's related. When should girls start shaving their legs? My sister had a huge fight with my niece about this for years, she wanted to start shaving her legs at 8 (and she didn't need to). She's 12 now and my sister allows it...what do you think about shaving?

Rosie - posted on 03/10/2010

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i think late elementary, middle school age is fine, as long as it isn't nasty whoreish looking. i love makeup, i use it everyday. i know when i started middle school, i was covered with acne, and was thankful for the chance to wear foundation and concealer, it made going out in public bearable. my sister in law is pretty young she's 18 now, but when she started wearing makeup she was 15ish. she was never taught now to apply it properly, and she has eyes that look like racoon eyes there's so much liner on them. i want to try to help her with it, but i think she might think that i think (whoa that was a tongue twister!) she's stupid or something (she's not retarded or anything, she's just very slow, in spec ed classes and stuff). i don't really think there's a set age, just when they start to ask, then show them how to apply it without looking like a whore-i see no problem.

Isobel - posted on 03/10/2010

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oh yeah!...my mom definitely controlled the colours (and I wasn't allowed to wear it to school)

Sharon - posted on 03/10/2010

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I started wearing real make up when I was around 16. I wore it a couple of times before that for junior high dances etc though.

13 yr olds in general = NO. No lipstick, no mascara, no strong eye shadows...

My daughter is 7 yrs old and she likes to wear make up too. I have the PALEST shade of pink for it (about all it does is add a little glimmer to her eyes) and I have clear mascara for her, and ONE time I put a light blue eyeliner on her... lol it was all so light you could only tell she was wearing makeup when she moved in the light and the glitter shined.

Anyway that was all a special occasion.

She will be allowed to pale shades starting around 14 so that she will be in practice for putting it on and taking it off by 16 and even then I'll control the colors (I hope).

I don't remember trying to be "sexy" at 16 at all. I just wanted to NOT look ridiculous like some of the girls. I'll let the current trends help guide me then.

Isobel - posted on 03/10/2010

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For my 13th birthday my mom took me out and had a woman at a makeup place teach me how to put it on nicely (I was allowed lip gloss, blush and eye shadow-no foundation or mascara) and then she took me to a salon and allowed me to get my first chemical treatment (I got a perm...it sucked) but I will definitely follow this tradition when Eve turns 13!

Amie - posted on 03/10/2010

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Our oldest (9 1/2) wears lip gloss all the time. She has different colors, from clear to nude to pink. Other than that, no make up.



When she's a bit older (11-12) we'll allow her to wear some sheer eyeshadow and maybe mascara. Though when she wears mascara I find she looks much older than I'd like. She has naturally long lashes and it (mascara) enhances them too much. I didn't even like it when she wore make up for her dance recital and pictures. =S



I will teach her how to put it on properly though. I see enough kids in her school who are allowed to wear it and look terrible because they have no clue how to use it.

Amanda - posted on 03/10/2010

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My oldest daughter is almost 12, she wears make up daily (limited). The make up has to pass my approval before she can leave the house. I allow her eye shadow, lip gloss, and a bit of eye liner on the top lid. I find it interesting because I wear zero make up, my mother had to froce me to wear make up to my own wedding. As for younger girls, 2-12 make up around the house is fine!! Its fun, all little girls love dress up. My 20 month old loves getting her toes painted up (crazy again because I also dont do nail polish).

Lindsay - posted on 03/10/2010

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When I was in school, the school policy was zero tolerance for make-up until middle school. And it was enforced as I know that last year of elementary more than one girl's parents were called and she had to remove it before returning to class. So, I was 12 when I entered middle school and that's when it was allowed by my parents as well. I had powder, blush, mascara, eye shadow and some lip gloss but the colors were pretty natural and mom taught me how to apply it without looking over the top.



I will probably have similar guidelines with my daughter. But I won't give her an "age" until she starts asking (although judging from her at 5, it won't be long).

Tah - posted on 03/10/2010

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I don't know...i am 29 and i don't even own any make-up..is that weird. I have worn make-up 3 times..to my prom...my sisters(i have 5) were helping me get ready and they said where is your makeup bag..when i pulled out my carmex, they thought i was for sure crazy and adopted. they had to get my moms, and some of their's and make my face up for me. Then my husband and i went to that place in the mall that charges 5 millions bucks for 2 pictures and they did my make-up..then I went to a xmas party for husband's command and on the spirit of norfolk and that's it..i thought about buying some, but don't even know where to start...i should have hung with more girls when younger..lol.....so i don't know..i think at 16 we can try some neutral shades and a little gloss, my sister puts some make-up on them sometimes just to play around when the girls stay at my house and she's here, but i think 16 is fine...my niece is 13 and has 36d's, flat stomach and j-los booty, so her mom and dad aren't allowing anything to make her look any older and she may have to start wearing a habit to school..lol..

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Depends but probably once they reach middle school. Just a little mascara and lip gloss and maybe powder would be more than okay.

That being said, my almost 2 year old is fascinated when she sees me put on makeup. I allow her to play with my blush brush which is brushes all over her face. If she wants me to put a little on her for play at our house, that would be okay. But she won't be leaving the house with full makeup until she is older.

Dana - posted on 03/10/2010

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I think 11 or 12 would be fine, if I ever have a daughter, for light makeup. By light I mean some lip gloss, maybe some powder. That all depends on if she'd want to wear it too. I think it really just depends on the child. As far as little, little kids..I have 3 nieces, I've always put my chap stick on them when they want something. They don't know the difference, it's even better if it's flavored! ;)

Krista - posted on 03/10/2010

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I started wearing makeup at 13, but there were limits. It had to be tasteful (well...as tasteful as makeup COULD be in 1988, I suppose...)



If I ever have a daughter, I'd be okay with her wearing light makeup at that age -- some concealer if she has a zit, some mascara, and some tinted lip gloss -- maybe a bit of shimmer powder for a party or dance.



But stuff like heavy eyeliner or bright lipstick? I'd discourage that, explaining to her that there's a difference between day makeup and evening makeup, so that she learns what is appropriate for what occasion.



If she has a special dance or party and is 16 or older, and if she wanted, I'd show her how to do a proper smoky eye, or a nice, classic red lip. If she's going to wear it, I want her to know how to wear it properly, instead of sticking my head in the sand, pretending she doesn't wear it, and finding out later that she's walking around with clown-face.



An acquaintance of mine lets her 9-year-old go to school with full makeup. Eyeshadow, blush, the whole enchilada. I don't say anything to her about it, because it's not hurting her kid, but I think it's really inappropriate.

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