Contraceptives & School Nurses

Shauna - posted on 01/19/2011 ( 28 moms have responded )

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Do you think school nurses should be able to hand out condoms if a child *junior high and above grades* Ask for one?
If not, what do you think the best approach in school should be?
Do you think the nurse should contact the parents if your child came to nurse about this subject?
Whats your take on this?

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Krista - posted on 01/19/2011

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I agree with all of the other ladies here. And no, the nurse should not contact the parents -- that is a breach of confidentiality. The betrayed student would very quickly spread the word that the nurse snitched, and you can bet that NOBODY would be going to him or her with any health questions anymore.

My mom used to be the school nurse, actually, and had more girls from "good families" coming to her sobbing about a pregnancy scare. And when asked why they weren't on birth control, the answer invariably was "I CAN'T! If my parents found out I was on the pill they'd KILL me!" Unfortunately, a lot of parents were so strict about sex that they didn't deter their kids from having sex...they just drove it underground and basically deterred their kids from ever approaching them regarding any sexual matters.

Tara - posted on 01/19/2011

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I am one of those that believe condoms should be available without having to ask, to all teens 13 and up. It's proven again and again that providing students with contraception does not lead to an increase in the number sexually active teens. What it does lead to is a decrease in std's and pregnancy. And when they are placed in the girls bathrooms there is an increase in the number of girls who will make sure one is used.
Teaching girls to carry condoms, allowing both sexes to purchase them and providing instruction through sex ed on how to use them etc. are all important factors in reducing the rampant sexual diseases and teen pregnancy seen in recent years.
If I could go into schools, I would have very graphic pictures of sexually transmitted diseases in their peak, herpes, warts, all of it. I would also bring in volunteers that talk about their own illnesses, AIDS, HIV, Herpes, venereal disease, etc. etc. so that teens can see real people and how unsafe sex has affected their lives. The message I would want to send loud a clear is this.
"When you have sex with someone, you are essentially having sex with everyone they ever had sex with and everyone those people had sex with. And so on..."
Provide education in a format that impacts teens in a way they can't ignore.

Jenny - posted on 01/19/2011

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I think nurses should be able to hand out condoms at any age. Education and protection are vital to preventing babies and STD's in our kids.

No, they do not need to notify the parent. Those who object to the kids getting BC will force their kids to either skip it next time or hide their behaviour better. Be open and honest with your kids no matter what and they will come to you first instead of the nurse.

Mrs. - posted on 01/19/2011

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I'm just thinking, if a kid goes to a school nurse and asks for a condom, especially if they are young-that is ballsy. It is likely that they can think of no other way to get a condom. It might be even more likely that taking to their parents about the subject is taboo-otherwise they'd just ask their parents (like I did as a teen). I think giving the parents heads up would mean some kids might get even more shamed and bullied at home for it.

So yeah, unless the kid is mainstreaming condoms from the school nurse on a regular basis, acting up sexually in school or are a danger to themselves-I'd want to keep it confidential. Isn't that the point of going to a medical professional?

Jenny - posted on 01/19/2011

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Jamie, for me it was simply that I wanted to. As a teenager I didn't think any deeper than that. It was while I was babysitting so there no supervision and after the kids had gone to bed. My boyfriend and I had been planning it all week. He also babysat for them so it wasn't a big deal he was there, the parents were aware. It was the perfect storm for teenage sex. Thankfully, we were educated enough to know to use protection. Imagine if we'd had parents who forbid it, we would have likely done it anyway.

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Kate CP - posted on 01/19/2011

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Yes, I do think schools should give out condoms. I think they should give them out and teach kids how to use them. It would greatly reduce the number of teen pregnancies.

Don't know about the nurse contacting the parents. That's something I haven't really thought about.

Lacye - posted on 01/19/2011

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I don't really agree with school nurses giving out condoms to students, but I can see where it can be beneficial to the students that need them. However, I do think the parents need to be contacted.

Tara - posted on 01/19/2011

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You prove my point Jenny. You knew to use protection and you did. Why did you know? Was it school? Your parents? Both?
Basically if you were taught abstinence only, you still would have had sex and if your parents were naive and figured you would wait cause that's what they wanted, you still would have had sex. But you likely wouldn't have known or cared to use protection.
Education and availability of contraceptives would go a long long way in reducing these societal trends and diseases.

Stifler's - posted on 01/19/2011

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teenagers have serious hormones at that age and think sex is a fantastic idea, consequences aside.

Tara - posted on 01/19/2011

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I used 13 simply because of the back lash that would come if schools started handing out condoms to 12 year olds, but I also believe they should be available to any kid thinking of having sex, whether they are 12 or 18.
I don't agree with notifying the parents, in that case 95% of kids won't bother, they'll have unprotected sex.

It is sad that we're having this discussion, Jaime, but it's the reality for so many schools across the continent. It's just too naive to assume that kids will wait, or that they won't take chances and do stupid things. And with the rise in STDs and teen pregnancy we can't assume nor expect teens to wait.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/19/2011

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Let me clarify Krista, I think that the student that goes in once for a condom...no...the ones that go back 1-2x per week or more...yes...the parents should be notified.

[deleted account]

i think it's sad that this sort of thing comes up for discussion. why can't kids just wait? i was eighteen before losing my virginity, and it was to the man i married. granted it was before we got married but still. i never even considered sex at twelve or thirteen. hell, not even until after hubby and i had been dating for a while!

but i guess to answer the question, i would rather kids have "safe sex" using condoms and BC than not. i was always taught the safest sex was no sex, hah, but not everyone was brought up the way i was.

i would like to be notified if my daughter went to the school nurse on this sort of thing. but i'd rather she be open with me beforehand.

Stifler's - posted on 01/19/2011

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YES. It should be no questions asked, I'd rather my son wear a condom than be all "I'll pull out so I don't have to go to the shops and buy condoms" and get someone pregnant. Chances are in the lower grades they will be using it to blow up like a balloon.

Krista - posted on 01/19/2011

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but they have to sign a release for saying that the nurse CAN call the parents to inform them.

And at that, you'd have 95% of the kids saying, "Whoa! Never mind, then," turning around, and walking right out of the nurse's office. And they would just use withdrawal as their "method" of contraception.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/19/2011

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If your kid is to embarrassed to buy them at the store (damn I still was as an adult...glad I am spayed) then they should be able to get them from somewhere comfortably...but I do think the parents should be notified,.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/19/2011

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Yes I do. But here is my catch...I think any kid that wants condoms can have them,...but they have to sign a release for saying that the nurse CAN call the parents to inform them. I am all for sex ed in the school system and at home....

Bonnie - posted on 01/19/2011

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I think condoms should be given out with out notifying parents. From what I remember, females can go see their doctor to get birth control without the doctor discussing it with her parents, so I think the condom thing at school should be the same way.

Lady Heather - posted on 01/19/2011

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YES. If they are asking for condoms they are pretty much saying they are going to have sex. I know I wouldn't want to have some kids future STD on my conscience. It's not medication so I don't see why there's any reason to involve parents.

When I was in middle school we had condom machines in the washrooms and free ones available with the counselors. We had a very low rate of pregnancy and I can only assume STDs.

Becky - posted on 01/19/2011

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I agree with them being made available without having to ask for them. Although in jr. high, I can see them being used as water balloons and to decorate cars more than for sex. :) I think that notifying parents would prevent some kids from asking for them, and those are the kids who need them available the most, because they are the ones whose parents would not buy them condoms or get them on birth control.

Krista - posted on 01/19/2011

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I get WHY everyone so far is anti-notification, but I most certainly would want to know if one of my kids asked for one so I could make sure and follow up w/ even more education and support.

True, but that's why we try our best to keep an ongoing dialogue about that stuff with our kids, so that once it starts looking like they might be heading down that path, we're aware of it and can make sure that they have the information they need.

I tell you, my mom said that being a school nurse was a REAL eye-opener for her. She certainly was not one of those parents who deluded herself into thinking, "Oh, my daughters would never do that."

[deleted account]

Tara that is EXACTLY what we need in schools! I said that in a different thread recently, PDR and sex ed classes teach kids how to have sex, they don't stress STI's and safe sex enough!



13 as a ball park average i believe jenny, its all based on the child though, i didn't lose my virginity until 17.

Jenny - posted on 01/19/2011

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Any particular reason you chose 13 Tara? I ask because I was 12 when I lost my virginity. I had educated myself and provided my own condom though but still sex can happen younger than 13.

[deleted account]

I definitely think they should be given to any kid that age that asks.

I'm 'iffy' on the parental notification part though. I get WHY everyone so far is anti-notification, but I most certainly would want to know if one of my kids asked for one so I could make sure and follow up w/ even more education and support. I do plan on plenty of education by/before Jr. High age... which only gives me another year and a half to increase their current knowledge, but I'd still want to know.

[deleted account]

YES!! I think condoms should be passed out without notifying parents. If the parents were notified, then the kids wouldn't get the condoms, meaning more unprotected sex.

Jocelyn - posted on 01/19/2011

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They should definitely be able to hand then out to anyone that asks! With no parent notification. I'd rather my kids be having safe sex without my knowing, than unsafe sex.
The nurses also need to make sure the kids know how to use them properly.

Nikkole - posted on 01/19/2011

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I think they should hand them out and explain how to use them to make sure the kids know! Maybe that would help with teen pregnancy!

Rosie - posted on 01/19/2011

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yes. if they are going to have sex i'd prefer they do it with a condom. hopefully if they listen to me enough, they won't need these things in junior high, but you can't always predict how things will end up. i'd rather he be protected than knock someone up or get an std.

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