CPS! Friend to good parents or ENEMY to ALL parents?!

Jessica - posted on 04/27/2011 ( 37 moms have responded )

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OK. Someone with some kinda vendetta against me made a call to CPS. Of course, they come to investigate. I am surprised the worker took her eyes off my pentagram long enough to even notice my daily dishes had not been done yet. I mean come on. I was outside, with the boys when she came. My husband left stuff out from getting ready for his interview. Hair on the bathroom floor (husband can't sweep up his own hair) that wasn't cleaned up yet BECAUSE she was too busy "interviewing" me (he shaved and showered while we were outside so I hadn't even SEEN it yet). He left the iron on the kitchen table (she didn't complain, but I sure as hell DID). We have boxes EVERYWHERE because we are packing for an upcoming move. And the only thing she complains about is my dishes. She was, somehow, convinced that last nights dinner dishes and this mornings breakfast dishes were OLDER than that (she was thinking WEEKS.... in my TINY kitchen, with THREE adults and two kids?!!!!)! Again. Maybe if she stopped starring at my religious symbol (pentagram) MAYBE, she would have noticed that they weren't growing anything (after about five days they DO start to smell... hey I was a kid once... and at seventeen I DID leave them for that long... ONCE... the smell made me NEVER do it again) and three adults, a toddler and a 4 month old baby (hey, bottles get put in their until nap-time sometimes too) make more than one person and MAYBE she woulda stopped telling me to cease my clean-up elsewhere and FIXATING on my DAMN KITCHEN! Nothing on the floor, A single piece pizza crust from my husbands quick lunch on his way out (still on plate), three dirty pans (cook everything at once), some cups (I didn't count, I was too far stuck to the ceiling and just was in shock washing them.... I did those first), two sippys, a couple bottles, a mixing bowl (actually a large ex ice cream container we use as one), some silverware, and 4 large plates, 3 mini plates (those weird smaller plates) and a couple containers from my cleaning out the fridge earlier. She gave me "2 days to clean up" my home. DUDE! They are not done BECAUSE I am PAYING ATTENTION to my KIDS and they WILL get done, when they NAP! An: STOP FRICKING MAKING THE STARRING AND DISAPPROVAL OF MY RELIGION SO DAMN OBVIOUS!!!!!! MY RELIGION IS NO BUSINESS OF YOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh and she also had a comment about the music my husband was listening to while we were outside (metalica, korn, and limp biscuit). I repeat. We had been OUTSIDE. I told him he could put it on because the kids aren't aloud to listen to that stuff till they are OLDER and she looks at me like "your pentagram means your a lier, so I think you are inherently EVIL"! Then QUIT STARRING AT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean the worst the kids are aloud to listen to is "Irish punk" (flogging molly), and Celtic woman (actually that puts them to sleep). No bad words, and while the "Flogging Molly (this group sings a lot of old folk and bar songs... nothing bad)" gets them dancing, the Celtic Woman (Look it up. I fricking meditate to this stuff...). I even offered to show her. Not a chance. This woman is coming back on Thursday and I will be Video documenting EVERYTHING. No self serving, discriminating, CPS BITCH is going to take my kids because she hates my religion (and my dishes)! Anyone else have any horror stories about CPS? What do you guys think of this?

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JuLeah - posted on 04/27/2011

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Yup. Sometimes you get an educated worker. Sometimes you get a person with a brain, but usually, you get what you got. They can pick one thing that make it their focus, don't bother them with the facts, cause they know.



A friend of mine was called on cause her kid had lice. 20 kids in her grade had lice, but her they called on.



You have to play her game. Use big educated sounding words, have books on display about the art and science. Make sure your kids are excited about something positive and educational.



Get her on your side. She does not have the power to take your kids, but she has the power to make your life hell.



Video documentaion won't help much. People see what they want to see and hear what they want to hear. You and she can both look at the same video and see different things. Just like you both looked at the same pentagram and saw differenet things.



Whatever you do or say can and will be used against you. I work in this arena and know how this can go down. Make sure you get her on your side.



Have your mother there if possible, maybe knitting or making cookies? The smell of cookies is a good thing to have in the house. Have neighbors 'drop by' that will leave her with a positive impression, maybe they can mention the many community improvement projects you are involved in.



Smile, act friendly.



If you have anything that will make you credible in her eyes, use it. They are impressed by degrees, association with police or fire (would be great if you or your husband was an officer) They are impressed by money, cause rich people don't abuse their kids. They are impressed by the law. Any chance your mother or father is a judge?



Contact an attorney who can offer you legal advice. Know your rights. They don't have to give notice, and if you refuse to let them in, that goes in your file as 'something to hide' So, again, get this woman on your side; play the game



Ask her questions about herself. "This must be a challenging job" "How do you keep track of all your cases?" "You must have a lot of education to do what you do" ..... people love to talk and brag on themsleves, so give her that chance

Sara - posted on 04/27/2011

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You know, I worked in social services for many years, and you just have to understand that CPS workers are people too. I seriously doubt, from what you're saying, that they're going to take any action against you. They have to check things out and they have to document things, that's all. They're not trying to trick you, they're not trying to take your kids away. The purpose of CPS is to keep family's together. I've often seen them reunite children and families that I didn't think should have been, but you know what? They don't want to remove children from homes, unless they are in serious danger. CPS saves lives, it helps children, it helps families. I personally am happy that it's there. Mistakes can be made, but like I said, they're human. If you know you're doing nothing wrong, then I'm not quite so sure why you are so angry about this woman doing her job.

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There's so many children who are in need of cps or whom ever you have in your area to protect children.It makes me so mad that as human beings and parents.Some of us would go so low that they would call cps just for the heck of it on other parents they don't like.

Call them out of nothing but pure ignorance.I find it disgusting.If you have a problem with some one be big enough to sort it or leave it without calling cps on one another.When there is no reason for it.Cps etc have enough to do than go around in circles because of false claims.Grrr.

The lasting effects calling cps on parents who have nothing to hide can be long lasting.Even when they were cleared and the worker was nice to them.Its an awful thing to do to others.People who do this should feel so ashamed of themselves.I knew of one family in particular that this happened to.

[deleted account]

Reading this, I'm surprised at how many of you have had interactions with CPS, or the equivalent. I would never consider calling them unless I genuinely thought there was reason for SERIOUS concern. They're not a joke and they should not be used for petty problems/vendettas etc.

Jaime - posted on 04/27/2011

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I have been in touch with CAS in the past for my sister. When she first had my niece, back in 2004 she was mixed up in a lot of idiotic things...drugs being at the forefront. When I spoke to my older sister and mother and they informed me that she was doing drugs while breastfeeding and allowing her boyfriend to sell drugs from their home. I was less than impressed and felt it warranted a call. Not to mention her boyfriend was, and still is abusive and controlling. CAS discovered that she was living in an apartment, in the middle of winter with no heat and a baby...not to mention the disgusting mess at every nook and cranny. I don't regret what I did and my sister and I talk all the time. She knows why I did it, and even though she is still with her douchebag boyfriend, I know that she has stepped up and she is aware of how important it is to put the kids and herself first. I would never call CAS on someone on a whim because I know they take every call seriously. It broke my heart to have to call...but in my case it worked out for the best. I'm sorry you're having such shitty luck Stephanie. I agree with what others are saying. Do as you are asked and make sure to read everything before signing...the more cooperative you are, the better off you are.

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Stifler's - posted on 12/06/2011

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No, only that I've reported people and nothing has been done. I've never known anyone to call DOCs for no reason on someone.

West - posted on 12/06/2011

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My mother called CPS on me cause she was mad I didn't want to leave my man and move back in with her. She was intense and cps was at her every whim. CPS lied to me and my husband. They would make "recomendations" and threaten if you didn't do them you wouldn't get your kids back, when I did the reccomendations which was to go get a mental eval and to leave my husband and move into a DV shelter (ME and my husband had no DV issues, just what my mom lied about) they used it against me. Saying that if there wasn't a problem I woluld not have went to the DV shelter. When I told the judge how they threaten me and said if I went to the shelter they'd give my kids back in a week, CPS denied they said it. They were upset that every psycologist didn't find a mental problem with me; so they sent me to 4 different ones until they found one who was willing to say I needed counseling for depression ( then of course they only used that documentation). Of course i was depressed they took my kids! I was never on drugs my husband was on marijuana but he stopped immediately. Don't talk to them! DO NOT DO WHAT THEY TELL YOU,THEY WILL USE IT TO BUILD A CASE THEY DON'T HAVE! Document everything. Tell them you want your day in court or leave you alone.DON'T WORK WITH THEM! They lie on the innocent but ignore true child abusers like Casey Anthony and countless others. They believed any le my vengful mother told them. She only wanted my son there so she can get his disability check and she tried to get one for my daughter but she's actually gifted not delayed, so she tried to give her up. My mom is abusing my kids and CPS doesn't care! They even have bruises and scars on them but they overlooked them

Jessica - posted on 04/29/2011

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ok, now I am not so focused on my own kids getting taken, I wonder about cases like Keisha. I don't know much about it, but I was almost like her at one time. They let me where I was too... but before my mom died they took me and my brother away because I was told to put on shoes and refused. But of course, blood all over and bruises from a fresh session with my grandmother didn't even warrant an investigation. Makes me wonder what their purpose really is. why do workers do that? why? their are no excuses big enough to ignore the plight of a child. false calls should be flagged, and the caller tracked down and thrown in jail. True calls should be done something about. Why waist time picking on families who are obviously not doing what the call was about but ignore the ones who ARE beating and neglecting their kids? I don't care how understaffed you are, wasting time with good, non abusive families because someone hates them and lied, takes time away from the ones who actually NEED an adult to rescue them from the people who they shouldn't need rescuing from. While a good family is being interrogated, another family may be beating their child to death. something needs to be fixed about this.

Tracey - posted on 04/29/2011

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I was accused of neglect by my son's headmistress who wanted my son out of school as his disability was too challenging and obviously caused by neglect - not because her staff were overworked and under trained, and she wanted me out of a job as school governor.
In UK they send social workers and plain clothes police round.
After an hour they apologised for coming and accepted the accusations were completely unfounded, but they have to investigate all complaints especially as it came from a school.

It totally backfired on headmistress as social services have labeled us as a lovely & loving family and asked us to be a case study for a trainee social worker.

Mel - posted on 04/29/2011

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what happened to Keisha was so sad poor little girl she was a gorgeous little thing. It does piss me off the amount of babies that die and find out later people called DCP with concerns and they were ignored so sad.

Jessica - posted on 04/29/2011

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oh my... I don't know what to say Constance. I think your friend should go to the media.... that's the only thing I know to get the fire lit. The lady came today. She had the same attitude BUT this time I was prepared. I asked my grandfather to come over (forgot to get the camera out), and she questioned us. I FINALLY got to hear the list of complaints, and in the end she said she was "Closing the case". Even though I don't think one should have been opened... we now know WHO called. Apartment Managers. Oh joy. they have been harassing us for two months, since the management change (because I have a medical animal-dog). I am not surprised but I am appalled. The list included not changing diapers, our youngest having a severe neck rash (he used to have really bad bottle neck and the doctor gave us a script... but he hasn't had it for a month)that we were accused of doing nothing about, me "forcing" my oldest son to play outside without shoes (OK HOW I would do this I don't know. it's a fight to get them ON him) and therein causing blisters on his feet (none on his feet EVER mind you, when the pavement warms up and he won't keep his shoes on WE go inside...) allegedly from the summer cement (again. not on my watch), not bathing them (they get baths every day, sometimes two or three), and boxes everywhere in our apartment (we are MOVING... nothing for it.). They were quite adamant that our apartment was filthy and we let our little one roam in it. A suggestion was made that we also let him play in the litter box.



Apparently, reading between the lines of course, while I am terrified of CPS, they could do nothing and the lady shouldn't of even followed up. It was plain to tell our home was clean, our children taken care of, food in our cabinets (also a complaint), and our children unharmed in any way shape or form (minus a bump from play-time stumbles). From the moment she saw us it was obvious but she STILL threatened to take them and said she WOULD have if I hadn't made sure every dish was done.



I also noticed, since she had a target in my husband, she left me alone after she saw me doing everything all by myself and started ragging on him for being lazy.



HEY. I got him to CLEAN a bathroom and do TWO loads of dishes (by hand) out of him as an apology for not only not sweeping up his hair but not telling me it was their. Even when we were just dating he NEVER cleaned the bathroom, EVER, (well except one time but that wasn't the whole thing... just took out the bathroom trash and drew a bath... of which is ALSO a lot... oh and candles...) I mean top to bottom. I am quite thankful. He may be LAZY but getting mad at him for it ISN'T her job. At-least my religion didn't bother her (I think she forgot). I love me lazy husband as is... though him lifting a finger in cleaning is DEFINITELY welcome. It just wasn't her job to yell at him.... oh well not MY problem anymore. *giddy* she's GONE!!!!

Constance - posted on 04/28/2011

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I know CPS is a good thing but sometimes they are blind to what is really going on. I have dealt with workers that do the job because they want to help.
But one the other hand their are the few that ingnore what is going on. I had a friend she had five kids, was married and worked fulltime at night. One night when she was off and her husband was out with friends. Her two oldest daughters come out and told her that their father was raping both of them. She immedently called the police and then took them for a kit to be performed. It was confirmed. She went down to the courthouse the next day to get a restraining order and filed for emergency full custody. The next day CPS showed up to her home with the police and court papers to remove all five children. Even though she did eveything right to protect her children from this happening again they punished her, even though both her daughters said that she had no idea until they told her. They still wouldn't let them go home. She has been trying to get them back for 5 years. Everything they have told her to do she has and it still isn't good enough fo them. the father was sentence to 2 life terms and can never get near them again, she still can't get them back. They don't believe that she didn't know, even though she was never ever chaged with any crime.

Jane - posted on 04/28/2011

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I have heard of several cases where CPS was used as a weapon. However, it has now happened to me or folks close to me three times! The first time was when we were seeing a psychiatrist assigned to us by Tricare. She kept telling us things about other patients. We asked her not to do that so she threaten to call CPS on us if we didn't let her talk however she wished. Fortunately for us she had a melt down at the local psych hospital, arguing with her lover, and then abandoned her practice, leaving her prescription pad with her secretary.

The second time involved a school principal who said publicly that she didn't believe that children could suffer from mental illness (my son has been diagnosed as ADHD, ODD and Bipolar and has a history of suicide (ages 7 and 9) and hallucinations). There was a teacher who worked very closely with my son and really helped him out. However, the principal didn't like her and wanted to fire her but had no cause. She reported the teacher to CPS for reportedly physically abusing my son, despite the fact that we had all met with her and discussed what could be allowed in order to restrain him when needed, to keep him from hurting himself or others. CPS concluded she hadn't done anything, but the principal still managed to fire the teacher.

Next it was my turn. SOmehow she got my son, who was frightened of her, to say that he had no clean clothes, there was no food in the house, we hit him, and there were drugs everywhere. So CPS showed up on our doorstep to find that what my son said was true only in his eyes. He refused to wear the clothes I washed for him and kept wearing the same filthy clothes again and again unless I hid them. When he said there was no food he meant no food that he liked, such as ice cream and chips. Instead we had milk and cereal, fruit, vegetables, and so on, all "yucky stuff" in his opinion. Instead of us abusing him, he was abusing us. He broke my foot one time when he hit me and he often knocked his dad down. Since his dad was both over 65 and disabled that meant we then got visits from APS (Adult Protective Services). And the drugs were and are prescription medications needed to keep my husband alive, and to help my son with his mental problems.

To save face, CPS insisted in coming out for a while but eventually they concluded that there was no danger to my son. They did do one nice thing, however. They sent an advocate along to a couple of the ARD meetings at the school, to put the principal on notice.

CPS is underpaid and overworked and they have a difficult job. Folks who use them as a weapon make it only harder, and make it easier for the real abuse cases to slip through the cracks.

Serene - posted on 04/28/2011

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I haven't ever dealt with CPS before but, I know a couple of people that has. Now one case that made me really upset was when my ex-friend went into labor after running the streets for two days getting high on crack cocain. She called the ambulance and ended up having her 5lb baby before they got to the hospital. Her baby and she was checked for their vitals at the hospital and she was admitted for 2 days. Crack was of course found in her babies system... The hospital sent her home with her baby. Now that is bullshit!!!!! How are they going to send an infant home with a drugged up parent. What makes me mad about it is if it was a different race,"black, mexican or etc..." they would of taken their baby away from them. Yep, thats how I feel about it. CPS is a joke, they showed up at her house 5 days later and took her baby from her!!! Come on 5 days later!!!!!!! The baby ended up going to a foster parent because her family background couldn't check out to take care of it. She would have visitation rights and visit her every week for several hours... OH by the way she had another child, it was a little boy and he got to stay with her. She ended up getting her baby back within months of taking drug classes and passing with a certificate. From this day on she still gets high, her dauther is 3 and her son is 4 and she has both of her kids!!! Now, I feel like CPS does not always do there job. I know they have hard job dealing with the public, but you shouldn't have the right to keep your kids if you are a drug user...

Sneaky - posted on 04/28/2011

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Um Stephanie - I know the situation you are in is scary and it sucks, but I think you missed the tone of JuLeah's reply.

JuLeah was talking about stereotypes - all rational people know that 'rich' people can abuse their kids just like non-rich people can. But if you can give the CPS worker the impression that you are 'well-to-do' or 'upper-class' she is more likely to go with the easiest assumption - that you are not abusing or neglecting your kids, and that someone has reported you only because they are jealous of your life style.

Secondly, I doubt anyone expects you to suddenly stop being a mum and devote all your time to community work, but how hard is it to find someone that is willingly to say that you are always enthusiastic about helping out at the local playgroup or pre-school??? I'm pretty sure that JeLeah was telling you (and I agree with her) that some 'good press' or 'spin' will not hurt your situation!

Good luck.

Charlie - posted on 04/28/2011

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DOC's in Australia is very overworked with little funding and the social workers are underpaid , they dont have a great track record ....SO many kids slip through DOC's hands it is beyond absurd although they are trying to change laws to make it a little easier for the workers so they can do their job properly and REALLY stand up and take notice before it is too late ...unfourtunately it's too late for too many kids here , it is amazing how all the children that die tragically here always have a track record of several calls from the public that go ignored just look at the recent death of keisha (sp) several complaints and they found her body in the bush where her mother and SD took her .

Rosie - posted on 04/28/2011

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i've been told by an ER doctor that i would be getting a visit from CPS after i took my son in. he was climbing on his dresser and it fell over on top of him, the tv also landed on his head. so obviously i took him in to see if he was alright. the doctor said because of his injuries (there were no serious ones, he just had a goose egg) he needed to report me to CPS and i could be expecting a call from them. i nevr did hear from them, but damn it scared me. i though i could lose my boys for lucas getting hurt.
i'm sorry you are having to go through this, the other girls have great advice. :)

[deleted account]

I agree with cps workers etc being human to.Were all not prefect but when you have a serious job, you need to always be professional.That does not mean they need to be your best friend but i believe you can do your job very well by being professional.I do not like the way the lady spoke you but not all are like this.



Being professional is best in all cases i feel.Then many won't get there backs up towards cps workers and as i said just because your professional and some what nice..CPS still can have there wits about them .CPS can see and observe the home and the people.So i really don't understand why some feel the need to be unprofessional towards parents.

If you really feel your being mistreated and yes some of those comments are not professional in the least, its your right to complain.



My advice to you is, fix all you were to do and let it go.Know that your a good mother and if things continue with the cps worker then do something about it.

Jenn - posted on 04/28/2011

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ARGH - my reply disappeared. OK - they are not allowed to tell you who called - all calls are anonymous. Some of us know who called just based on the "complaints" or the situation. If she seriously told you that she would take your kid before any sort of investigation, then you need to make a complaint about her. She is trying to use fear and intimidation. Also, as the other ladies said - do not ever sign anything again BEFORE you read it. She is also required to tell you what the specific claims are against you. As long as you know that you are doing nothing wrong (it's OK and perfectly normal to have some mess in your house), then do not worry.

Jessica - posted on 04/27/2011

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I read it afterward. She left a copy with me. It was a generic paper and it said I agreed to "fix" what she told me to fix and that she had been here.



Wow. Someone on this site? I wonder if it was someone on here. Never crossed my mind before...

Mel - posted on 04/27/2011

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they're useless assholes arent they Stephanie :( Im sorry you have to go through this. I was lucky that they knew it was just idiots making crap up, and it was a joke I was even being investigated (people on here had rang and said I let bruises on my kid, that I put feeding tubes in the wrong way (when we worked our butts off to help her get past all her feeding issues caused by the aussie doctors), that I left my kid in a high chair unattended all day, all these really stupid claims. They were laughable. I see not all of the DCP workers are the same as mine, it seems they can be nasty. They basically said , get off that site so we dont have to deal wityh anymore stupid calls lol. And here I am back here after a year, but my child nurse and some others said be careful what you write. I dont feel like I need ot be careful what I write, I said I will be honest. If they want to go ahead and report me and twist all my words again they can go ahead :) People with too much time on their hands. U will be ok

Amanda - posted on 04/27/2011

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Stephine DO NOT SIGN any more papers without reading them first! If someone doesnt allow you to read a paper NEVER EVER sign it (this applys to everything in life). My cousin lost her child to CAS she was young and didnt know her rights. She signed away her rights, not even realizing what she had signed. She thought she was signing the rights of her child over to her mother, but in truth she signed her child over to the provance, and they adopted that child out to a family, instead of giving the child to one of us family members.

Jessica - posted on 04/27/2011

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I am surprised to get so many responses. I read them all (home clean and kids in bed for their afternoon nap). She did not call first. I was apparently called for neglect but she was sketchy on the details of the claim. Apparently the person called as anonymous. I had no previous dealings with CPS, so I am unaware of why she treated me so (besides her own personal issues). She gave me 2 days. I have taken video and pictures of my home and it isn't for the lady. It is for evidence if she does what she says she will do. My floors are swept and vacuumed daily, and mopped/ shampooed weekly. We have plug covers and baby gates (though they are usually down because he usually listens when told no), diapers are kept changed, rashes are taken care of, when they are hungry they eat, and so on and so forth. Baths every night and sometimes in the morning too. She did not explain the charges, and I only discovered even that it was "neglect" when I saw the paper with it written at the top. A generic paper that I signed to say she was their. EVEN THAT she didn't let me read first. As a child i dealt with them. They took me away form my mom because I had no shoes and her religion. They left me with my grandparents saying "I see nothing". Blood soaked through my shirt from my back, a split lip, a black eye, and obvious signs of being TIED UP to something with wires.... and when she left she said I was with a "good christian home". See what worries me? I don't think that just because a few workers are "nice" I should let this happen AGAIN... just with me as the parent. This lady flat out TOLD me she was planning on taking my kids before she even saw the place. I asked her if she was looking for someone because she was SNOOPING around outside right in front of us. She did not leave her card, and no number to call CPS itself. I was wondering if she was even WITH CPS until I talked to my neighbor. They have a teenager with a big mouth and story telling mode (we got vandalized because she started telling witch stories about me once). We have seen and been in their home. nothing wrong. Apparently they had the same lady once and had to request a new one.

"because rich people don't abuse their kids"? omg. you are not the brightest bulb in the package if you seriously believe that. no nicer way to say it.

My husband was laid off, no job their. I am disabled and ready to pick up the phone and call advocates for the disabled at the drop of a hat. We are poor. No state workers known (don't really care what they do for a living anyway), and come ON. if I did community work I really would have to neglect my kids to do all the stuff with cleaning. I make remedial tea's though, when the neighbors kids are sick. I am typing fast cuz my youngest is due to wake up any minute, so I don't have time to find the "worker" who posted the "get them on your side" and about rich ppl not abusing their kids. Obviously I wouldn't want YOU in my home. I am gonna ask around more if I get the chance. Apparently I am NOT thew first person this lady has done this to.

Jenn - posted on 04/27/2011

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I've dealt with CAS twice. Once it was my upstairs neighbour who had some beef with us from the moment we moved in (I think she just hated kids), and once my ex (or he had someone call for him) called them. The first time I was very upset and stressed, because you instantly think the worst and read about these supposed horror stories and I thought I was going to lose my son for no reason. The second time I had no fear or stress at all - because I knew my rights and knew that I had done nothing wrong (I did nothing wrong the first time either - but didn't know what to expect). Yes, they are supposed to show up unannounced - that way if you ARE a bad parent, it's easier to "catch you". The first time, my house was a bit messy and I was still in my pj's, but he didn't say anything about that because when you live in a house and have kids, things get messy - that's life. He just told me what the complaints were, and said that it was policy that they have to check out every call. He came back a few weeks later to follow up and then closed the case. We knew it was the neighbour, because the claims were that we were fighting, that I had shook my son, and that I was calling my son mean names. Well, in order for anyone to have "heard" anything, it could only be one possibility - the lady upstairs. He did ask if I would undress my son so he could see if he had any marks on him and I said NO PROB - obviously he was just fine so I had NOTHING to hide. Anyway, the second time, the complaint was that I had guys coming and going all the time - funny how that was what my ex was accusing me of. Also funny that I had not had one single visitor since moving to my new place after I left him. Anyway, this time it was a lady, and she did mention that if the person who called kept making false claims that THEY could get into trouble for wasting CAS's time and money. Now that I've dealt with them, looking back, I really have to wonder about these "horror stories" and think there's more to it than what they claim. They don't just take a child out of their home for no reason.

[deleted account]

That's horrible, Amanda!

CAS was called on a close friend of mine and she was accused of using drugs. Pretty serious accusation. They did a drug test with a strand of her hair and she came back clean, clean, clean. Disgusting to think what the person accusing her of was trying to accomplish. She's SUCH a great mom and they were obviously just trying to attack her. HORRIBLE!

Amanda - posted on 04/27/2011

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Well in my case Dana, I found out later my exs wife, was trying to get custody of my daugther (thats right just my daugther not my son), so she figured getting a ton of "cases" on me would help her. What she didnt realize is if CAS comes and doesnt find a reason for the call no case is actually opened. Now I did have one call that was serious, it seems my daugther was outside in the middle of winter without socks, or proper winter boots on, nor any gloves or hat. A neighbour called, and CAS showed up at my home, for something that happened with her father. That time I told them my exs address, and told them to get lost LOL. The ironic part of all my history with CAS, never was a case actually opened on me, but one was opened on the very woman who was calling constantly on me LOL.

Lexi - posted on 04/27/2011

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Wow that is messed up. I'm not surprised you got some butt hurt grouchy judgmental social worker, but I'm honestly really surprised that you even got inspected! Maybe your local CPS is better funded than mine. Due to my line of work (care giver in a group home) I was sent to a conference given by the people from CPS and APS and they basically said that as much as they care they can't even investigate every call and report they get. At most they make a phone call to "the accused". If a person is reported more than once or the police are called then they get a visit but it can take months if not over a year of police time and cps visits and red tape to make any charges go through or get kids taken away. I'm so sorry you got such an unwarranted attack. In general I think CPS is a much needed service and they are mostly good people. I would guess that just like in any situation, there are good people and bad people, laid back open people and finicky uptight people who are ready to cause problems. Whether it's right or not peoples biases almost always come into play too. I am a grown up gone boring christian punk. yeah I know, some people say those two words can't go together. lol But because of the way I chose to look for so many years I had to get used to people making judgements about me. I still get people making judgements when they find out I'm a christian. "oh you're one of those fudementalists? you gonna shove your beliefs down my throat now?" um no. Judgement just come with the territory. It sounds like you are doing everything right for your family. (trust me my dishes aren't always washed three times a day either and my house is probably way messier than yours!) Just hold on to that and stand your ground. Even if this one judgmental woman continues to try to cause problems, she will have no evidence to base her claims on. Good luck hun.

Constance - posted on 04/27/2011

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i went through the same thing in 2001. Ihad been home in almosta month had been staying with my sister nd her husband. This was right after Sept. 11 my husband and hers and many of our friends were active duty. Not to mention my husband was in the middle of the ocean at that time. So needless to say things were insane and very scarey at that time. Well my neighbors had decided I was this horriable mother because I would sit with frieds and have a couple of beers. ( not even typsy) I had my kids I a more responsible than that. Anyways they frst called the police and said I l my daghter alone in my apartment which was a false statement she was at my my sisters apartment with 5 very capaple sober adults. I was across the hall in a friends apartment talking to them when the police showed up. nce they confirmed that both of my children were fine they left. The next day CPS showed up at my sisters house demanding to see my apartment which I already sad I had hardly seen the inside of for a month. The only thing I had done was run in dop something off and head back out the door, so it eally was a mess. I didn't hesitate I let him in to my apartment which even to my standards I wouldn't have let my kids slep there or play I just had ben preoccupied. He took pictures and tld me hewould be bac the following day to see if I had cleaned. Which I did I gave my house a deep cleaning which I do at least once a month anyways. He came back said it was fine but he had to report it as a negletive household he eassured me that I would only deal with somebody fo a couple of months and it would be finished. I was like ok no problem. Fo me it was a way to help me stay motivated and keep my mind off my husband a litte more.
Then I meet my worker she was a complete BITCH! She can in found things she didn't like and made a list that I had to do. I said ok and I did it when she came back she found something new and this went on and on fo almost a year. I finally moved out of state. I have had no problems since.
But to lt you know the things sh targeted. How about the lamps on the table, piles of clothes on the floor on laundry day, papes on the table, chais not pushed in, dishes fom beakfast 5 minutes before she showed of course always unannounced. When I left state she was foced to close the case because CPS cam to my house whee I moved to and found absolutly nothing wong.

[deleted account]

If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to worry about.

Your door should always be open for cps i think.



If you feel you were mistreated by cps you always have the choice to report it.Have it sorted out.



I think its great they came out.I know its upsetting for you but its good to see there doing there job and if this were a serious case.They made the move to check it out and that leads to children getting the care and help they need.



I never had cps called on me but i grew up in care.Even though i was let down by a few of my social workers.There were still many good supportive hard workers there to, i still believe in the work they do and i believe the do a very hard job in tough times with little pay in most countries which i found out on here.



You have the right to stand tall as a mother and fight your case if you feel you were mistreated by this lady from cps.It is your right to report it.Do not let one bad apple bring you down.

Amanda - posted on 04/27/2011

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Juleah great advice! I use to have CAS (what we call it in Canada) all the time at my door when my oldest two were little. My ex's wife would call them anytime he and her got in a fight. I played their game, I asked advice on what to do about the "psycho" stepmom. I always kept a smile on my face, and agree'ed with anything they said even if it didnt belong in my personal views. When given advice I would mention how I never thought of it that way (even if I didnt agree). After a few calls CAS went to my exs house and informed his wife that the next call about me from her would land her in jail. Amazingly I havent had CAS in my home since LOL.

What pisses me off the most about "fake calls" is when ever a school or the hospital (when I had my last child) asks me if I have had CAS in my life, I have to answer yes, and then try to explain why without sounding like I am making up excuses.

Mel - posted on 04/27/2011

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I also have a firned whose baby was taken not too long ago because of her mental state. I cant say for surw what was going on, I dont know her wlel enough she is just the sister of one of my friends, how ever I do know she dotes on that baby, phtos up on facebook from every visitation, plus videos, statuses about her little girl. Her and her boyfriend are now pregnant with baby number 2. She cant get her daughter back until shes at least 2 years old

Mel - posted on 04/27/2011

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lol, I had people report me. BUt no horror stories they were really impressed with us they congratulated us on the new pregnancy and went on there way. Even admitted they only came out because "they were sick of the complaints from the same people" and asked me to stay away from them to avoid anymore mucking around in the future. That is INSANE about your housework . WTF. When they rocked up to my house it was early morning but I wasnt home I was out shopping with my toddler, so they came back just as I was getting in the door. I like to keep a clean house so Im lucky house was spotless, but geez I cant believe they can be like that. You have 2 children...that says it all. When I had just ONE child my house was trashed until she was at least 12 months old, and I didnt care/. I had more to worry about. I had a daughter with some feeding issues which made a tone of added work for me. I didnt have time to clean the house. Im sorry you had to go through that. Im sure it will all pass soon.

Oh I might add DCP (what we call it in australia) were not happy with some of my choices, but had to accept a losing battle - my words to them - is this against the law? No? Then butt out. This is my child and I will smack if I wish to since i am not breaking the law I will not sit here and be lectured about it. Ive since changed my views on smacking btw before anyone jumps down my neck

Tia Melissa - posted on 04/27/2011

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While I am personally opposed to government interfering in my life I also understand that urbanity & mobility have changed our social structure that used to assist kids who were being harmed and that the State has now stepped into that place.

I have a friend in CPS and honestly, what you are describing is purely personal disapproval and in no way grounds for them to remove your children. I don't like rap but nobody is pulling kids because their parents are listening to it in the car with them or even smoking in the car. They take kids for severe neglect, drug use, abuse (sexual/physical), failing to educate (thinking compounds where girls are not educated because they're just gonna have babies and sister wives), medical neglect, etc. They don't remove for poverty circumstances, music choices, dishes in the sink, religion or lack there of, lice, TV viewing choices, etc. If they did that, we'd all have our kids in foster care! You may not have any luck in requesting a different case worker since they are spread really thin and often have large areas to cover. Honestly, I would call and follow up on the status of your case. Politely. They don't get many of those calls. :)

Jenni - posted on 04/27/2011

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No. I've never had CPS called. But I couldn't help but feel incredibly insulted if they were called for no justifiable reason. I do realize they are just doing their job so I wouldn't take it personal on their part. But I'd be pretty P'Od at the person who called if I felt it was personal and not a genuine concern.

Now if a CPS worker came to my house and was 'nit picking'. I'd probably be pretty offended. I take a lot of pride in my home's cleanliness but I do have dishes in my sink left from the night before sometimes. ;) If she made comments about my religion or music I listened to. Well, I would *think* that is overstepping her boundaries and her being bias. Which is not appropriate for someone in her line of work to be. I would file a complaint if I felt I was being discriminated against but the thing is; I think a lot of parents in that situation file complaints... and my genuine complaint would just get lost with all the disingenuous complaints. I'd still do it out of principal if I felt she had gone farther than her job entitles.



Anyways, no worries hun. I'm pretty sure dishes, religion, taste in music are not grounds to take children out of their home. Just go through the motions and let them do their job.



Maybe it's possible to ask for a different case worker?

Nikki - posted on 04/27/2011

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If you think you are being discriminated against, call local CPS and ask for a different case worker. Also, ask who made the complaint and what it was, unless it was anonymous, they should be able to tell you. I actually called CPS on soemone ( a family member) once, because there was cat feces and urine everywhere in the house and it hadn't been cleaned in weeks ( not kidding, it smelled like a trash can). CPS actually called and scheduled a time to come do a home visit. Which gave them time to clean up some. It didn't bother me that they found out who had complained because it was justified, and at least it got the house clean.

On the other hand, I spanked my daughter in a store once because she got down and started running from me (mind you it has never happened again) and someone threatened me with CPS. I told them go ahead , they couldn't stop me from disciplining my child. I only spank when there is a safety issue involved, and only hard enough to get their attention and realize it is something they should not do.

I think you will be fine, just take deep breaths and calm down. If you have issues, take action about it. I think overall CPS is a good thing, but no matter what, you can't totally eliminate human prejudice.

Amanda - posted on 04/27/2011

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Always allow CPS in Carly, when you dont allow them in it makes you look like you are hiding something! As for the dishes comment, and the music comment. CPS cant tell you to do your dishes (unless they are days old), or what type of music you can listen too. I would call your local CPS office and make a complaint!!

Carly - posted on 04/27/2011

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Did she explain why she had come? I don't think a few dishes in the sink would be grounds to take your children... Are they not required to give you notice that they are coming? Do you HAVE to let them in if they rock up on your doorstep with no prior notice? Make sure you know your rights in regards to all this before she comes back and I am sure you will be fine if there is no basis for the complaint.

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