Daddy smokes weed

Jenni - posted on 03/21/2011 ( 152 moms have responded )

5,928

34

373

So I got the idea for this thread from a poll. The poll had the question what would you do if the father of your child smokes pot. I noticed all of the answers were to do with getting him to quit. None about as long as he does it on his own free time or the sort.

Ok so my husband is an occasional pot smoker. I would never ask him to quit as long as it didn't interfere with his parenting. He only smokes it on occasion with his buddies. OUTSIDE. After the kids are asleep or at a friend's house. He doesn't even buy the stuff. And hell, I've smoked occasionally as well with him while the kids were at their Grannies or we were camping *alone*.

Do you feel smoking weed after you become a parent (when used responsibly) is a big deal?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Johnny - posted on 03/21/2011

8,686

26

318

Wow Sarah, that's really quite stunning. I think most of us here in BC know loads of people who smoke pot, some recreationally and some habitually, and most of us have not known anyone to have that direct reaction.

Having worked with people with mental illnesses and been trained in that area, as well as with those struggling with dual diagnosis, I'm quite surprised at your insistences. It is commonly acknowledged that people with mental health issues have a tendency to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol. The assumption that drugs and alcohol were the cause of these illnesses has generally fallen out of favor among experts in drug use and mental illness. Yes, for people who suffer from schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, and bipolar disorders, drugs can be an initial illuminating factor. But the idea that they are the cause of the illness has been significantly discredited.

It is also important to note that most studies linking marijuana usage to schizophrenia were done studying people with schizophrenia who had smoked marijuana before the age of 18. While some scientists believe that marijuana has altered the brain structure development, others believe that those who are already suffering the early stages of the illness are simply more likely to turn to drugs to help them deal with the problem. Regardless, you can not avoid getting schizophrenia or other mental illnesses by refraining from smoking pot.

Tara - posted on 03/21/2011

2,567

14

107

As a partaker of pot I have no issue with Steve partaking as well. ;)
We are both law abiding citizens otherwise. We know our sources, our dollars stay with the local growers and we know what we're getting. We are responsible parents, we are active in our kids lives all the time. If you met me anywhere you would never know I partake in a nice joint at the end of my day in order to help with my aching pre-arthritic hip, my degenerative disc problem in my upper back and to relax me. Sometimes I partake before undertaking a creative project such as a painting or a sculpture, I like to smoke before I sit at my pottery wheel too.
When I get particularly anxious about certain things going on in my life, I could take an Atavan or I could have a hoot from my pipe, in my garden shed in my back yard. lol
Both would relax me, but one leaves me incapacitated and unable to function as a parent or accomplish any of the daily duties I have to accomplish, the other allows me to do all of the above and do it without the side effects of a chemical anti anxiety medication.
I will live to see the day it is finally decriminalized, if Jean Chretien had only stayed in power another term....

Carolyn - posted on 03/21/2011

898

19

140

I work in the mental health and addiction field.

I'd rather see people smoke pot than use any other susbtance. Other than a psychological addiction by chronic users , there is no physioligical dependance or withdrawal syptoms. Very few people who have walked through the doors at our treatment facility are there for marijuana use. The few exceptions are typically military or employes who got busted on a random urine screen and doing it to appease their superiors.

If i didnt do what i did for a living, I would totally partake ! And enjoy reminiscing on the days where I did. I take no issue with those who do provided their children are cared for, there is a DD in the event of non ambulance required emergency, it is not affecting their financial, social and family lives. No different than having a beer or 2 after work. Pot just gets the job done quicker and cheaper.


I have never met a person who *used to have* or *had* schizophrenia. You can manage schizophrenia, but to my knowledge ( unless something drastically has changed in the one year maternity leave im about to come off of) you cannot cure schizophrenia buy quiting pot. You cant cure it at all. You can only manage the symptoms with medications.

where i live 49 % of the people living with mental illness have cooccuring susbtance abuse issues. Usually an attempt at self medicating, or as a result of personality deffects or manic episodes where engaging in susbtance abuse and other self destructive behaviors is common.

Im wondering if these multiple psychological disorders that were claimed to be caused by marijuana use were diagnosed by a professional, and werent already present prior to the drug use, but simply exacerbated by the paranoia that occurs in many people while high.

Jenny - posted on 03/21/2011

4,426

16

126

There's a big difference between stoners and people who are stoned. If you met me out in public you would likely never know I partake. That is how it is with everyone I know around here who smokes. We are all contributing members of society and, aside from our recreational activities, law abiding citizens. Smoking pot isn't always about hanging on the couch eating chips and watching video games. Sometimes I eat pita and hummus and knit ha ha.



Of all the people I know who don't smoke pot the majority don't because they don't want to, not because of it's legality.



Oh and always know your sources. Not one dollar of mine goes to gang activity. Keep your dollars local whenever possible in all areas.



Anyways, off to have my daily hoot and shovel a utility trailer full of dirt and cow manure into my new raised bed garden my partner built me yesterday. 5 hours of drafting at work and I need to get out and clear my mind of all that damn math.

Sara - posted on 03/21/2011

9,313

50

584

I know, how many pot heads get into bar fights? Not many I know! I'm not sure why it's illegal but alcohol is legal, alcohol is way worse with far more negative consequences socially, psychologically and physically.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

152 Comments

View replies by

Sally - posted on 04/13/2012

577

5

11

I wish pot was legal in the UK cos it would be a damn sight better than the morphine iv'e been on and am now addicted to. I keep having to get higher doses cos my body becomes used to it. While i know a couple of puffs before bed and i sleep pain free, like a baby for the night instead of waking up atbsilly oclock in agony. Make it legal for personnel use.

Sally - posted on 04/13/2012

577

5

11

Nope, daddy can smoke his weed as long as its not around the kids or effects our lives. Its better than some drunken arsehole getting in your face and giving you crap. Weed smokers want to do 3 things

sleep

cuddle

eat.

Not always in that order..lol

Lindsey - posted on 04/13/2012

7

6

0

i get high, i eat, i laugh, i joke, i forget where i set my phone, i go to work every single day, pay my own bills and hold a household together ( mom, kid, and cat) and my kid is happy as can be! he thinks im funny, he respects me, and hes also very well mannered and well behaved, for the most part...he is a 4 year old boy : D now, sitting on the couch blowing smoke in the air your child is breathing, not cool at all, and ive seen some of my friends do that with their children, but hey, its not my family and their not my kids so i dont critisize... but in the evenings, after nolans dinner and bath and whatever, ill take a step outside and smoke... we go to a BBQ and the kids are all playing hard, a couple of us may step on the other side of the porch or whatever and smoke a bit...if you can handle it, go for it... dont get stoned to the bone and pass out on the couch while your baby who just learned to walk is making an attempt up the stairs for the first time... i mean were adults, some of us are more mature than others, its all about moderation and control...

Jenni - posted on 03/25/2011

5,928

34

373

I understand Toni, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who are ok with drinking a little but can't stand someone who smokes cigarettes... the smell and second hand smoke. The same could be applied to pot.

ME - posted on 03/25/2011

2,978

18

190

I don't care as long as responsibilities are taken care of first...I would prefer occasional pot-smoking to drinking any day!

Casey - posted on 03/24/2011

633

37

104

I've never been a pot smoker but when I first met my partner 8 years ago he did smoke it on occasions and I never had a problem with it, I'm pretty sure he doesn't do it now but if he did I really don't think I would mind so long as it was never around our child and he didn't come home stoned out of his mind or smoked it and then drove the car or something like that, I think if you want to do something like that occasionally and you are sensible about it then it shouldn't be a problem. And plus I am not his keeper I don't tell my partner what he can and can't do and he has the same respect for me in return.

Stifler's - posted on 03/24/2011

15,141

154

597

I don't like anything in excess around kids. Especially not drinking, smoking pot or drugs. I don't want my kids to see me drinking the way I used to before I had them. Having one or two drinks after work or at the end of the day is fine but getting blind at the pub and coming home is a massive NO and it would be the same with smoking pot and coming home stoned.

[deleted account]

I don't mind people drinking a little, I don't like it when people are completely wasted though, I don't see the point in being that out of control (I understand that not everyone intends on getting into that state though). I do actually believe that weed should be legal as well, considering here police turn a blind eye to personal use anyway, it makes far too much paperwork than is worth for them to charge you for it. But I still wouldn't want my hubby to smoke it, but like I said earlier that is because I hate the smell of it and so it would be a real turn off for me - I couldn't be with someone who smoked anything. Maybe I am an oddity Jennifer because it does seem like everyone else who wouldn't want their partners to smoke it wouldn't want them to drink either.

Jenni - posted on 03/24/2011

5,928

34

373

Teresa, I knew what you meant! :) You don't like being around anyone who is under the influence.

Jenni - posted on 03/24/2011

5,928

34

373

My mom actually had the conversation with me about the responsibility of partying when I was a teen. In that conversation she admitted that she had smoked weed when she was a teen. She said it helped with her migranes (which she had always suffered from). She told me she would MUCH rather see me smoke weed over drink if I was going to do either. That she believed alcohol was far more dangerous of the two. If I did drink I was to call her no matter what time of the night it was before taking a ride home with anyone else who had been drinking. That she would not be mad about having to come get me because at least I was showing responsibility in not getting in the car with someone who is drunk.
I NEVER had to call her... I always walked home and when I was a young adult, spent the night.
Also when I did go to a party, I'd probably have 3-4 drinks and mostly just smoked weed. I found in my own personal experience that drinking caused me to lose my inhibitions and I made poor choices. When I just smoked weed (beings it makes a lot of us a little paranoid) if anything I engaged in far less risky behaviours than I would even if I were sober.
I did party a lot in HS and it did affect my school. Not to the point I was failing I still had a C-B average but I was getting stoned at school. So I decided to quit half way through grade 11-OAC to concentrate more on school because I needed those grades for UNI. I quit, no probs. No withdrawels, no longing for... nada. Took my C-B average up to an A average, mostly because I wasn't burnt out after school and actually did my homework. ;)
Funny story... but there was this couple in my HS. They were both huge stoners... I remember them being pie-eyed in our OAC ENG during a debate... and laughing their ass off the entire time.... so obvious.... guess what? They were both honor students even though they were stoned out of their mind their entire HS career.

Tara - posted on 03/24/2011

2,567

14

107

Having two teenage boys I can say that I would rather they smoke a joint than drink anytime. I would rather they didn't do either but I'm not going to be one of those parents who simply says "Drugs are bad. Don't do drugs. Drinking is bad. Don't drink." only to find out my kid was the one taken to the emerg. with alcohol poisoning.
My kids know the risks of both pot and alcohol. A dear friend of mine has boys in their late twenties, early thirties. When they were teens one was a drinker, the other preferred pot. They both partied on weekends, partaking in their drug of choice. Neither one of them have any kind of addiction. But the pot smoker has a great relationship, a thriving business of his own and two beautiful little girls. The drinker has been in jail once due to a drunken rant on his girlfriend, that while not violent in nature, was abusive in nature. That was the one time he was in prison. But he has been known to drink to excess and get loud and belligerent with people. When he is sober he feels awful as he is normally a great guy.
The pot smoker doesn't change one iota when he is high. No one would ever know a difference in him at all.
Honestly, I would much rather my kids smoke or eat marijuana than drink alcohol. Illegal or not. Alcohol comes with so many extra unknowns. Honest, truthful education about the effects of all drugs should be given to teens before they come across them.

Jenni - posted on 03/24/2011

5,928

34

373

Hmmm it seems to me that those who would not agree with their spouse smoking weed would also not agree with them drinking (or cigarettes)... which is completely valid.



Sal, although I wouldn't agree with my children smoking or drinking etc while under my roof. I don't have any fallacies that at least one of my children will try alcohol or weed before they reach the age of 18. Maybe not. But considering we are a free-spirited, extremely open household... I would be in complete to denial if I said it wasn't a very real possibility.

If I have taught them to be responsible and it was occasional then I really have little fear of it. Although I still wouldn't condone it because they are not adults. If they were irresponsible or it was affecting their schooling or life in general... I would have BIG TIME issue with it regardless of them being children or adults. If they try it a handful of times at a party when they're teens... I really wouldn't be all that worried about it. Alcohol scares the crap out of me though... I've seen the dire consequences of teen drinking.

Sal - posted on 03/24/2011

1,816

16

33

i am not a fan, but in someone elses marriage i can see how in respect of doing as part of a boys night, as long as it isn;t an everyday money draining issue and it didn't impact on the partner or kids , i'd agree with turing a blind eye, however i would hate my kids to do it, and if they know dad does i'd be fighting a losing battle, i never have even tried, i have known too many stoners and i find the whole thing very unappealing, and for me personally if my hubby used even occationally i wouldn;t of got involved as that wasn;t the type of person i wanted to influance my son....

[deleted account]

People can smoke pot without being stoners.
Stoners are chronic pot smokers. which would be the equivalent of an alcoholic, not a drunk person.

[deleted account]

I've been around drunk people.... I've been around stoners....

I prefer to keep company w/ the clean and sober. ;)

Chani - posted on 03/23/2011

34

16

2

I much prefer a pot smoker to a drinker any day. Whatever you choose as long as it doen't affect the children in any way shape or form. But i can't stand being around a drunk person but feel totally comfortable with a stoner, and i don't drink or smoke atm.

LadyJane - posted on 03/23/2011

162

7

1

I wouldn't want to be around anyone who smoked weed. I definitely would make the father either quit, or I'd divorce him. There would be none of that stuff on my property, regardless of how often it was done. Regardless if it was legal or not.

Dana - posted on 03/23/2011

11,264

35

489

lol Yes. Actually our laws are pretty lax when it comes to how much pot you can have or grow. It's just the loss of license that comes with paraphernalia that's a pain in the butt, I imagine.

Dana - posted on 03/23/2011

11,264

35

489

Well, as long as you've got pot too, whether it's already rolled or in a baggie. If it's just papers and not accompanied with pot then it's not marijuana paraphernalia.

Jocelyn - posted on 03/23/2011

5,165

42

274

Really Dana? I carry paper to fix my broken smokes :S That's ridiculous!

Ava - posted on 03/23/2011

307

31

12

The father of my daughter does smoke weed. I tell him the family needs and bills come first. My daughter's toys and luxuries come first. Then 'our' luxuries, meaning we better be affording mine too. At the end, if he's spending 50 bucks on weed a month to smoke it once in a while, who cares?

Dana - posted on 03/23/2011

11,264

35

489

Okay, I'm really late to this debate. I only read the first couple of responses and my response is prompted by something Kati said in her very first post.



Here in Ohio, you automatically lose your license for having marijuana paraphernalia. Papers are considered paraphernalia. So, if you have a joint they are within their rights to give you a ticket, you lose your license and your name goes into the local paper.



I think it's ridiculous but, it is the law. I would be pretty upset if this happened to my husband.

Rosie - posted on 03/23/2011

8,657

30

315

the bible would be a worthless tool to use in this argument anyway since every other verse seems to contradict something else "god" said 2 chapters back....

Tara - posted on 03/23/2011

2,567

14

107

Queen Elizabeth used pot for her menstrual cramping and at one point in history anyone who had more than 60 acres had to grow marijuana or face a fine!!
Leaders have used pot without compromising their leadership.

Jaclyn - posted on 03/23/2011

184

48

39

i don't see what it matters if you smoke pot or have a drink in the evening when kids are in bed, or your out and don't have your kids. as long as it DOES NOT interfere with your parenting, we are parents not dead we do deserve to have some fun too.

Meghan - posted on 03/23/2011

3,169

33

202

I agree that booze is the gateway drug...not pot. I would also like to point out (and I am sorry if someone has already said this, I haven't read all the comments) but until the 1930's pot use was not an issue.
In fact, pot use was fine up until and during the alcohol prohibition...but once that was over the FBN needed a new target and guess what they zeroed in on? Pot. The anti alcohol law turned into the anti drug war that we see today. The Marijuana act of 1937 stated that weed was "a national menace" and "dangerous to the mind and body"-yet most of the "research" was done on minorities. There were movies and PSA's made (can't remember the exact movie we watched in class but *think* it is called "Reefer Madness" ) And guess who funded ALL of the anti marijuana propaganda...the Alcohol industry!
SO here we have it...probably thousand's of years where people used pot-without incident, alcohol industries and government ban together to create profit and convince people that pot use is bad. 80-some odd years later, alcohol industries still make billions of dollars, thousands of people die a year due to addiction and DUI's...and the government chooses to accept (and therefore support) and tax booze....

Erin - posted on 03/22/2011

212

17

28

as long as it doesn't interfere with him being a dad there shouldn't be a problem

Nicole - posted on 03/22/2011

736

6

68

my husband was alergic to weed, so I couldn't smoke it when we were married, later on I realized that smoking weed makes me really stupid and the effects last for a really long time, and as a studnet, I cannot afford that, so I don't smoke weed. If I had a week that I could afford to be sharp as a cushion, I would go for it and add in a beer or two

[deleted account]

My objection to alcohol doesn't come from the Bible. It's a personal conviction. I didn't bring God into this debate. I never said God is against all alcohol or even all pot... I don't speak for God. I just happen to be arguing the statement about God being ok w/ people getting drunk since drunkenness is most certainly spoken against in the Bible.....

Charlie - posted on 03/22/2011

11,203

111

401

No it doesn't but it does show that alcohol was acceptable in those times and "god" or the men who wrote the bible make no mention of Marijuana specifically god told mankind to use "every green herb" on Earth there are also passages that make reference to all of his " creations" in reguards to plants and herbs :

God said, "Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed which is upon the face of all the earth.…To you it will be for meat." … And God saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. (Genesis 1:29-31) The Bible predicts some herb's prohibition. "Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times, some shall … speak lies in hypocrisy … commanding to abstain from meats which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. (Paul: 1 Timothy 4:1-3)



But I think the most important quote from Jesus on consumption was this : "Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; that which cometh out of the mouth defileth a man." (Mat. 15:11)

Nikkole - posted on 03/22/2011

1,505

31

49

I Think the bible says its ok to drink sometimes little bits not to get drunk and get naked or something crazy ;)

Charlie - posted on 03/22/2011

11,203

111

401

Proverbs 31:6-7 states, "Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto the bitter in soul." This prescribes the use of a fermented beverage to ease the pain of the sick, suffering and dying.

[deleted account]

Have you read the verses in the Bible against drunkenness and such? Or just the ones that seem to mesh w/ what you want it to say?

Emily - posted on 03/22/2011

85

0

3

Well... My hubby has asthma, so him smoking anything at all, to me, is insane. You'd think so too, if you ever had to drive him to the emergency room when his inhaler wasn't helping. :(

Marijuana is illegal because it is POPULAR. It gives the government something to do. They can't just go after the "dangerous" drugs, whatever they are, since not enough people use them to make it a booming business. Not enough money in it. They tried to make alcohol illegal but we all know what happened there. WAY too many people drank; little old church ladies, as well as respectable business men. It made them all criminals in one fell swoop. So prohibition failed. The drug war has failed too. But it is too big a business to be allowed to fail, so they pretend to be winning it.

I agree with Tara too... the tobacco and alcohol businesses have an interest in keeping pot illegal. Yes, always follow the money trail.

The bible says that all plants were created for us to use as a physic. It also says that alcohol was designed to give relief to the poor. Obviously God has no problem with the average person getting high occasionally or getting drunk. It's just not supposed to be habitual, and it's not for leaders or judges, etc. to indulge in.

Nikkole - posted on 03/22/2011

1,505

31

49

My husband used to smoke cigarettes and he has smoked pot in the past (we were not together) But i wouldn't want him smoking ANYTHING i hate smoke and i have HORRIBLE allergies and when smoke is around me my eyes get all itchy and burn it sucks! I also don't like alcohol (or i should say getting drunk from alcohol) either my husband BARELY drinks. But more power to those who smoke its just not for me!

Charlie - posted on 03/22/2011

11,203

111

401

Tara said : The one and only reason cannabis has been and continues to be demonized and labeled a gate way drug etc. is because the pharmaceutical companies cannot patent it. Oh and one more reason, the tobacco and alcohol industry spends millions every year to keep pot illegal, they certainly wouldn't want people growing their own fun now would they?
Money, money, money follow the money trail...




EXACTLY !

Tara - posted on 03/22/2011

2,567

14

107

Hey Johnny, waz with the iz speechifying? lol
I'm glad I live in Canada. :) Where at least I won't end up in prison, but would still end up with a criminal record if I were ever caught, prosecuted and convicted. Shitty.

Tara - posted on 03/22/2011

2,567

14

107

Not only that Loureen but you can actually die from too much sugar in your blood stream, same with caffeine, which incidentally is the main ingredient in almost all over the counter appetite suppression pills, same with nicotine, you can overdose and become extremely ill from too much of that.

Salt too, salt kills people every year through high blood pressure and yet almost all snack foods contain more salt than most people need in a day, let alone a snack.

All of the above mentioned substances are also known to be physically addictive to the human organism, however pot has been proven time and again not to be physically addictive to us.

Furthermore we are all born with endocannabinoids present in every system of our bodies, and THC fits into them like a key in a lock. There is no other substance that does this. Hmmm... we have been using marijuana for thousands and thousands of years, for recreation and for medicine.

The one and only reason cannabis has been and continues to be demonized and labeled a gate way drug etc. is because the pharmaceutical companies cannot patent it. Oh and one more reason, the tobacco and alcohol industry spends millions every year to keep pot illegal, they certainly wouldn't want people growing their own fun now would they?

Money, money, money follow the money trail...



edited to add:

The prison system in the US is entirely privatized, it brings in billions of dollars a year to process and house all those "criminals". If pot were legal their bread and butter would be gone, they would have to rely only on hard core criminals to make any money. The system would collapse. There are so many people in prison for pot related offenses it would be like the bottom falling out of the stock market.

Tabitha - posted on 03/22/2011

45

13

2

before me and my husband were together he got a simple possession of it and they suspended his license for it and he only had enough for a bowl and he was walking when he got stopped so ya its a big deal, it was around $3,000.00 to get his license back and had to do tons of classes, thankfully he hasnt been in any trouble since that was almost 5 years ago, but having a suspension of your license made insurance more expensive and it was hard to be accepted in apartments,we live in ok

Charlie - posted on 03/22/2011

11,203

111

401

Then by that logic sugar is a gateway drug , it's the first high a person gets as a child , they crave it , want it , move onto coffee then ciggarettes then marijuana ect ect .


Ban sugar then ?

Rosie - posted on 03/22/2011

8,657

30

315

actually emma, heroin is still widely used in the world of medicine. codeine,papverine, morphine, and heroin are made from the same plant.
i also beg to differ that pot is a gateway drug, alcohol is the gateway drug if i ever saw one. i know of NOONE who didn't drink before they tried pot. no one.

while there are irritants in marijuana smoke, studies have shown that smoking weed doesn't give you lung cancer. even heavy use of it. they think it may be the THC in it. :)

Jenni - posted on 03/22/2011

5,928

34

373

It does say a lot when there are so many people who don't even smoke it but think it should be legal or feel it's safer than alcohol or cigarettes that are legal.

[deleted account]

emma said "it's because they're highly addictive and have detrimental effects on the body when overused... and pot is a gateway drug to other drugs."



are you referring to a different drug here?

Btw i dont smoke it. I just think its completely idiotic to have it illegal.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms