DMG!!! Debating Moms Gossip

Jenni - posted on 03/26/2011 ( 178 moms have responded )

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In light of 'certain' threads.... what happened to DMG-Debating Moms Gossip.... we sort of let that forum go dead. Why don't we resurrect it by inviting new members?



Edit to add: Haha! Ok. I think my OP may have been a bit misleading. Just to clarify this is NOT a group to talk about other members or threads. The other thread reminded me that there is certain 'sisterhood' on DM and we all seem to enjoy the advice and opinions of the other ladies here. It's an informal section of DM to get advice, talk about personal topics and friendly chat. :))



http://www.circleofmoms.com/dmg



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Sarah - posted on 03/29/2011

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Ok, so I guess I'll pipe up at this point! lol

First of all, DMG was never about sitting around slagging people off.......it was more like gossip in the sense of "sitting around having a natter" kind of thing. It was (and now is again) a place to find support and ask questions of a more personal nature that people didn't want to post as a debate.

Secondly, the Mosaic sounds like a great place for the women who are involved with it. There's probably hundreds of groups like it all over COM's. I think having a safe haven to go and chat to people is great! I'm not sure why there seems to be bad feeling between people in the Mosaic and DM's.........maybe there isn't even any!

Thirdly, ANY thread that disintegrates into an argument rather than an actual debate will be locked. As a debate board, things get locked more often than anything would be locked in a private support type group.......I don't think DMG ever had a thread locked, because it's a completely different type of group.

I hope people do join DMG, it was fun back in the day, and I'm sure it will be fun now too! :)

[deleted account]

funny was writing thanks tah also and computer crashed...can't remember now. shit!

Amy we've all only been there short time. you were an original memeber. not even 6 months I don't think. anyway yes thank you tah and I also think only the one DM mention as well and I think its been discussed to death here.

mosaic is for some, not for others. we did take a warming period and now trust the bulk competely. we don't sit around and slag other groups. sometimes its lighthearted fun and other times really serious issues. some post lots (cough cough) some occasionally but we have learned for the most part we've got each others backs and support when needed. and don't all moms need that? some get in real life, some in cyber, some in both.

kumbaya and shit in mosaic sure but we don't always agree with each other on some tough issues (i.e. spanking, sleep training, whatever). We chat about why we like or oppose but just don't kill each other over it.

and btw...if this post gets locked I think that is the biggest load of shit cause anything said (aside last night off shoots) has been in reference to DMG. and for the record...we have NEVER had a thread locked

regardless of what we are about i hope the DMG fills whatever need the people joining hope for.

and also for the record we are private yet do accept new members if one of us finds a person that thinks might get something out of it and would be a good fit. we are not evil bitches (well, maybe I am but the others aren't).

maybe this has become an interesting issue cause its been the first private group on com and was started as a spin-off like in tv land from DM, I dunno. but hey...people can start a million private groups. power to the cliques and finding support where ya need it.

so...back to DMG...

Amy - posted on 03/29/2011

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Thank you, Tah.

Really, I've only seen the one you were talking about where someone just vented and, other than that, sorry, DM not talked about. We're too wrapped up in our own lives and each others' I guess. ?? But I've only been on there for....6 months?

Tah - posted on 03/29/2011

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Wowzers, let me say this. Mosaic is a small private group. People who don't post were removed for not posting because a lot of ladies do post really personal matters. Not just little joe broke his arm type stuff. It did and still does feel kinda invasive to moms who post these things to have ladies who NEVER post come in and read these things and only post when DM is mentioned. So i did remove some members, not of spite, but to be honest I didn't even think they would notice. It was nothing personal and not make a clique, even though yes, they exist everywhere whether we admit it or not. When someone came here to vent about wtcom, what happened, people joined in with their fellow DM sister to vent and have a laugh, same thing happened there.

We did not all grow up together and aren't neighbors. We discuss such personal things because we talked daily or at least said hey weekly to get to know each other. Sure there was a period of getting to know if I can trust this information with these ladies and we found we could. If you are just looking, I don't know that and just assumed you weren't interested. After having a member join, leave join and then the big blowup, yes people were removed. One person was removed by accident because I was just clicking away. I let her know that by pm, and sent her a link, she didn't rejoin.

Another, I didn't remove at all and discussed that via pm, and she rejoined, then left on her own accord, that is understandable. If Johnny knows anything that has happened then yes, people are reporting back at times,and that's what made the mosaic members uncomfortable.

I don't want anyone to think we sit around and trash dm all day everyday because untruth we hardly mention it. When one person vents about it, yes we support her say and yeah so and so happened to me as well. I have said and continue to say, I like DM, I have a member for a long time and yes did experience a lot of things that made me feel unwelcome so I took a break. I have been slowly reentering the world of dm, one post here, one post there, but coming all the same. If anyone was offended, I apologize wasn't the intent, but it was a vent thread started by a member and her Mosaic sisters came to comfort and vent and defend her feelings is all it was, nothing more nothing less. That is all. I'm sorry to further derail but as admin and creator I felt a explanation was in order so people don't think we just sit around and bash, it would be an unfair view of us.

Erin - posted on 03/28/2011

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Everyone is welcome to join Becky. You just need to click Request to Join from the link posted and wait for a mod to approve it.

Erin - posted on 03/28/2011

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**Mod Warning**
Guys, please. There's already been one warning posted and I do not want to have to lock this thread. Though I imagine any new member will likely run a mile anyway after reading this.

[deleted account]

Oh i know. I crept DM while i was gone...i wanted to still see what was going on...I seen her on a holy tear

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/28/2011

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Well, I really need to get to bed. I was in the ER tonight with my son, he broke his nose. This is really the last thing I needed to do was argue tonight.

Jodi, I am sorry for calling you out on Mosaic. Laura, sorry that you felt unwelcome. I wish you all would not judge all of Mosaic for a thread I started for innocent reasons, then blew up. Blame me. But I need to go to bed. Long 3 hours at the hospital, then all the time in here, I am going cross eyed.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/28/2011

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I had already felt pretty upset about the thread for myself...then I left to attend a birthday party...I was even checking in on my phone...When I got home I saw all that happened. My husband actually had to make me sit down away from the computer and take a breath. I was literally fuming.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/28/2011

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Oh Julianne, you have no idea how pissed off I was...no idea....

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/28/2011

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Laura, can you stop making general comments about everyone? I don't know what you are talking about. Alot of the most active members I think very highly of. You decided to leave, you felt unwelcome...you rarely participated, I am not sure why you are so upset about it. One thread to vent and you act like we talk about DM all the time. Not true.

[deleted account]

oh holly I can only speak for myself but I don't deny it. I do believe that a bunch (not most but semantics) of active members in a group of over a thousand people are assholes. specifically? yeah, in DM.

[deleted account]

I appreciated the invite vicki and i don't have any ill feelings towards you. I really didn't get a good enough feel for the group. I did post maybe once, then i was removed because of a member who joined shortly after me having an issue with me. She tried to get me blocked from COM by reporting me and even persisted and stalked my facebook.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/28/2011

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Well then Julianne, the thread that has everyones panties in a bunch...was about...you. Let me clarify before you go apeshit.

The night you left, I was infuriated, blindly infuriated what was going on in those threads. I had started a thread on Mosaic before it all went south ( think it was earlier in the day) about why do I keep debating when my words just get twisted etc., then all the shit really hit the fan on your thread....you locked it but I made one last comment....I went and re-read what was being said and could not believe what people were saying. I brought it up in the Juice pluse thread (you may remember) and you made a comment. Jodi made a comment back. I made another comment to help clarify what you were trying to say. and then you did to. Well, I had brought this all up in Mosaic becouse of how truly furious I was on your behalf, and how difficult it can be when people are twisting your (general your) words. You are a tough cookie, and I thought what was being said was beyond wrong. I pointed a finger, and it happened to be Jodi. As I said before, it was the straw on the camels back. I mentioned her in Mosaic, stating that it would not let up...that is all it was for. So Julianne, I was extremely upset to see someone bullied so harshly, and I was venting about it. That is how it all started.....

[deleted account]

julianne I recall letting you know about it and was glad when you joined because I thought you'd add an interesting perspective to stuff. you didn't. post at all if I'm remembering correctly. We don't gossip about people. we share about ourselves and it does get personal. and that does creep some (me mostly I guess) out that there are people out there that know really persoanl stuff and don't bother to even check in. its evolved into that. and the need to become private evolved from that. if you (not you julianne, anyone in general) is a memeber of lots of groups and don't check in then fine, what do you care if you were removed?

I'm jsut happy there is a place I go to where I can confide and laugh and share cause shit do moms need it some days!

I hope the group started here fills that need for those that need it.

Isobel - posted on 03/28/2011

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I left because I realized the type of group you had intended to form or wanted it to evolve into would never have included the likes of me. I was never spying. That's ridiculous.

Isobel - posted on 03/28/2011

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And for the record...I took part in quite a few threads when I first joined...then I realized that there were a lot of women I knew nothing about and felt kinda creepy commenting on their personal shit...the LAST 3 threads I commented on were to defend dm.

and YEAH...a BUNCH of you feel that the most active members of dm are assholes, why deny that?

Johnny - posted on 03/28/2011

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I look to see if there are any threads that interest me or in which I can support another mom. For instance, I've got experience breastfeeding after surgery with low milk supply so I check breastfeeding communities because occasionally someone needs support with that and its not all that common. Just because I post very rarely doesn't mean that I am not involved in my own way and supporting in my own way. You have a very narrow definition of things.

There are also communities that are dead at the moment but may liven up again. I want to know if that happens and perhaps participate.

If you wanted to form a private, closed community, you really should have done so separately instead of kicking members out of an existing forum to establish your own little clique.

[deleted account]

If people are going to go around talking behind my back..i dont want to be a member of the group anyways.

[deleted account]

nope, that person joined after i did. And mrs admin removed me because of favorite picking. I went to her profile to ask what happened and i seen the post on her wall the person put about me.

Jodi - posted on 03/28/2011

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Marina, just because someone isn't actually posting in a group all the time doesn't mean they don't get something from it or that they don't belong there, or that they won't contribute.



It is total paranoia to assume that someone who is not contributing must be there just to troll and spy. It was also very insulting.

Jenny - posted on 03/28/2011

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I was removed from Mosaic too with no message or anything. I have about 20 groups, I don't post in all of them everyday but do from time to time when something catches my eye.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/28/2011

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Johnny, if you feel you should, then do. Infact, I dropped a group that is dead today. Why have it if I don't participate or get anything from it? We get very personal on Mosaic, and don't really want people coming and reading our business. So, if you are not coming to find out and "troll" becouse you don't care about our personal lives, then why be a member?

Jodi - posted on 03/28/2011

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What happened way after I left? No-one has reported anything to me. I was removed, I asked the Admin why, she let me back in, and I was accused left right and centre. A few days later I decided to leave because I honestly didn't feel welcome there because of the whole situation. I wasn't spying on anything, no-one reported shit to me. I saw the accusations with my own eyes.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/28/2011

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So, essentailly, plenty of you talk about Mosaic behind our backs. That is fine. Atleast I fess up.

Johnny - posted on 03/28/2011

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Wow. I guess I better leave the breastfeeding communities and attachment parenting communities and political debating communities I never post in but just read lest I be accused of spying. Holy shit!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/28/2011

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Well, I think there was a house cleaning after all thiat, but I don't know for sure. I cannot speak on the behalf of people that can remove others.

Jodi - posted on 03/28/2011

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I know, I saw it, and you were lied to. I was removed. I did not leave.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/28/2011

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No Jodi, that happened WAAAAAAAYYYY After you left. Hmmmmmmm....how would you know unless someone was reporting that to you?

Johnny - posted on 03/28/2011

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Actually, I never went to that group, I didn't even really know much about it. A friend of mine on here (not Jodi) had mentioned that she'd been removed from the group suddenly. She didn't know why. I don't know if she ever found out. We never discussed it again. She was a bit shocked because she didn't think she'd had "issues".

If I'm trolling someone's group, I prefer interesting topical discussions from diverse perspectives. Not personal gossip and stories of people I don't know.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/28/2011

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It was questioned right in that room that very moment it practically happened.

Jodi - posted on 03/28/2011

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Are you making accusations Marina? The same accusations a number of people in your group made? See my point? I totally felt welcome...... :/

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/28/2011

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Julianne, I never heard about that. I know you and another member that is not on anymore were both in it....but I don't know any further info on that. If you were, it must have been becouse of that person already being a member and wanting to keep the peace. You guys were pretty much gonna tear eachothers throats out during that time.

Jodi - posted on 03/28/2011

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I beg your pardon, but I WAS removed. But you take the word of whoever told you that I left on my own. That's total bullshit.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/28/2011

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Jodi, I think I saw you in the VERY beginning of the group. I truly cannot remember really seeing you participate. What is the point of belongning to a small group like that if you are NOT going to participate??? Spy???

[deleted account]

I was invited to that group by a member...then when i joined people decided to boycot because i was there and i was removed...then the group was made private...yeah for welcomings :D

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/28/2011

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No you weren't actually....it was discussed. Someone said you up and left, and then another person said you had been kicked out...and you hadn't. As far as we all knew...you left on your own.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/28/2011

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WOW...I guess Mosaic is more popular than we new. I see we are talked about quite a bit indeed huh? One thread to vent, and we have been given a big black mark. Fine. Whatever. Johnny, are you or have you even been a part of the group? And for all of you that have been a part and left...were you just TROLLING? Never making comments...just "checking out the scene" I mean come on.

Jodi - posted on 03/28/2011

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Marina, I didn't leave - I was REMOVED by someone the first time. Welcome? You think? I'm not mad, I am just bothered by the hypocrisy.



And just because I rarely participated didn't mean I didn't check in and occasionally make a comment. I didn't know one of the rules of the community was that we had to contribute on a regular basis.

Johnny - posted on 03/28/2011

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I just find it rather ironic that some of the people getting so bent out of shape about the G in DMG having once referred to gossip, which was NOT about COM, have been participating in groups where they do gossip about others on COM.

Pot, meet kettle.
(Sorry for restating Jodi, it got missed before)

Isn't the Mosaic the community that arbitrarily ejects members without discussion or complaints against them?

[deleted account]

@ Holly "I don't know...maybe it's just the conversations I was a part of defending dm in general"...um...wasn't that ONE conversation out of maybe the 3 you participated in? cause I can't think of any other thread that DM was mentioned in. and I certainly can't think of any other threads that you participated in period.

and Jodi please, apologies were made to you several times. but you don't care so no biggie (cool hair flip and shoulder shrug :)

[deleted account]

@ Holly "I don't know...maybe it's just the conversations I was a part of defending dm in general"...um...wasn't that ONE conversation out of maybe the 3 you participated in? cause I can't think of any other thread that DM was mentioned in. and I certainly can't think of any other threads that you participated in period.

and Jodi please, apologies were made to you several times. but you don't care so no biggie (cool hair flip and shoulder shrug :)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/28/2011

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Well, I just went back to that thread to make sure I had accurate memory of the events, and I do. I mentioned you for the reasons I have stated...one sentence, then you popped in and left. That was it. Nobody else was saying *boo* about you Jodi, though if you want to be mad at people that had nothing to do with what I said, and you misunderstood my intent...that is your perogitive. Also, you never participated or engaged ever, so not sure how you could feel welcome in a group that you never even talked in. Just saying. Grudge or no grudge, I am done discussing it.

Jodi - posted on 03/28/2011

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No, I just wanted to make it clear to everyone that all this *we don't do that in The Mosaic* in this thread is not 100% the truth. That's all. I left because I was made to feel quite unwelcome, not just by you, but by several members. End of story. No grudge.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/28/2011

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Nope not really Jodi. I made that thread becouse originally I did not understand why I continued to debate. I felt my words were getting twisted in dm, and so on and so forth. That is how it all started...then it blew up when I saw what was going on. '

That is the thing that you are seeming to ignore Jodi, you were like the straw that broke the Camels back for me. I know you were not the reason, infact, you even wrote that comment after she decided to leave...and kept popping back in.

I really do not wish to continue to derail this thread. Either you can start another thread to discuss this with me to clear this up,...PM me...or continue to hold a grudge that may not be warranted. Your choice. I am fine with your decision. I don't want to get this thread locked.

Jodi - posted on 03/28/2011

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No Marina, a whole group of you started harping on me in that thread, demanding justification, and so on, and the entire group participated in the DM bashing. I really don't care that much what any of you think, and I left because you guys made me feel so unwelcome. But don't try and make out that you don't bitch about others and about DM in that group. That's my point.



And for the record, the reason that member felt forced to leave (well, *take a break* is probably a better term for it)had absolutely nothing to do with my comment whatsoever, and I was not involved in it at all.

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