Do happy babies have better parents?

Angel - posted on 12/04/2010 ( 19 moms have responded )

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I am always being told that my son is so happy, content, and friendly. It is the opinion of some that the reason for this must be because I am such a good parent. In other people's opinion it is because of genetics. Some people even think it is because of how pregnancy went. Some suggest that if you have a crabby baby it is because you left your baby to cry often and/or you have a lot of stress in the home.

For me, I have never left my son to cry, I had a horrible pregnancy, I am always cracking jokes and acting silly. So I don't really know why my son is so happy while other babies are so crabby.

So what do you think? People with happier babies are better parents, it is in the genes, it is the way you felt when you were pregnant, or is it simply that is just how that particular baby's personality is?

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Becky - posted on 12/04/2010

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I think that children who feel loved and nurtured and trust that their needs will always be met by their parents will tend to be happier children. But, it also has to do with personality. Some children are spirited or high strung and are difficult to please. That doesn't mean their parents are not wonderful parents, it is just the way the child is. Like others said, it really is a combination of factors. You can't judge what kind of a parent someone is on how happy their child is/seems.

Ez - posted on 12/04/2010

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It's a combination of it all. Parenting style is definitely not the only factor. A baby's disposition is affected by their personality, circumstances, and presence of any health issues.

And yes parenting style plays a role. I am a what I consider a moderate Attachment Parent. My almost 22mo daughter has never been made to CIO, she was worn in a sling often as an infant, I don't smack, and all routines are child-led. My approach works for her.

But I would never go so far as to say people with happier babies are better parents. I have seen some cheerful little bubbas with the scum of the earth as parents. And I've seen the most gentle, loving, thoughtful parents with a child who is uptight and just not happy.

Sherri - posted on 12/05/2010

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It is simply your childs personality period. I have 3 kids with three completely different personality's.

Amanda - posted on 12/04/2010

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I don't think that good parents have better babies! Maybe luckier! Lol...I was a single mom for a while and I wasn't always happy but I did my best to be strong for my kids and they were all happy babies. I think that it just depends on the situation. You can't tell if the parents are good or bad depending on the baby's mood. I've worked in a daycare and we had one of the happiest go lucky babies ever and he was the same way when mom and dad came even though they were not very nice to him and ended up losing custody. :( Poor little guy. I'm going to lean more towards personality. Or just babies! :) They are all so dang adorable!

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Angel - posted on 12/05/2010

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If my son keeps getting into stuff and I keep telling him no, I will raise my voice eventually. Also, I am ALWAYS raising my voice at our dog(he won't stop eating my underwear and my honey's socks!) Maybe that is different than constantly raising my voice at the baby(which is an absolute no no) but I wouldn't say that I am a calm person. Infact I am pretty emotional lol. I guess I can see the genectics side a bit. My family is very silly and we love to laugh at ourselves(and others sometimes too lol). Though I can't really speak for my honey's family, they are kinda stuffy and my honey didn't turn out that way at all. See now I got my self all confused :/

Bonnie - posted on 12/05/2010

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If anything, people with happy babies might be calmer. I sometimes think that how a baby acts or reacts could be played off of the parents. If a parent is ignoring the baby or raising their voice at the baby, they baby will react in a negative way. If babies get the attention, food, and warmth they need, they are usually happy and content.

April - posted on 12/05/2010

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your baby's personality depends on genetics...to assume that since "they have the same parents" their personalities should be similar is silly. It would be like saying, "why does sibling 1 have blond hair but sibling 2 has brown hair, when both parents are brown haired?"

there are many factors that influence whether a baby is happy/content or a grump and you cannot say it's "personality period". As someone else mentioned, her sister turned out to have chronic pain that wasn't realized until later. I think it is more correct to say that it is mostly genetics and some environment ( for ex: your environment is NOT the same as your brother's. He has a sister and you don't. That's a different environment)

Angel - posted on 12/04/2010

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I just had a thought.

One of my sisters gets the worst mother of the year award. She has two boys. The oldest is 8 and he was a very happy content baby. The younger one is 9 months and is so crabby, that sometimes you would think something is wrong with him.

Hmmm....since my first baby is so happy and content does that mean if I have another he/she will be a little brat boy/girl? I hope not!

[deleted account]

I absolutely believe that relaxed, happy parents generally have happy babies. Babies feed off the moods of their parents. HOWEVER, it's not a guarantee. I am told that I was a happy, easy baby. My sister was a screamer. But then, she had some health issues that were later discovered. Poor thing was in pain. The happiest super mom in the world wouldn't have been able to ease the pain and turn her into an easy baby.

[deleted account]

I'm usually happy and cheerful, my daughter is the same way. My sister on the other hand...what cranky and crabby all the time as a child. We have the same mom, the difference is personality. Even now she gets in a fit over small things. Just because my daughter is cheerful and happy all the time, doesn't mean I am a better mom than anyone who has a cranky baby, sometimes she is cranky, doesn't mean I'm doing a worse job that day it just means shes upset over something.

Nelly - posted on 12/04/2010

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I agree the happier you are the happier they will be. Like the saying goes misery loves company

[deleted account]

All of those factors can and do come in to play. How else can you have identical twins w/ the same parents, doing the same things, and have one baby that was way more 'high strung' (for lack of a better term) than the other. ;)

Stifler's - posted on 12/04/2010

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i think it's about sensible parenting. knowing when to go home, when your kid needs a nap, knowing what makes your baby happy without spoiling them or giving them every single thing they want.

Jenni - posted on 12/04/2010

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You can't really say a baby who is generally happy or generally grumpy is entirely due to their environment. How would you explain siblings who differ... I've heard so many moms say I don't understand it his sister was such an easy, happy baby! He was a sour puss since birth. I think alot of it is to do with genes but of course environment will play a factor in it.
Both my pregnancies went exactly the same. Healthy leading to c-sections. My son was a grump since birth. It was always really hard to get him to smile. My daughter is a happy, easy baby and i'd say her pregnancy was far more stressful because I had my almost 2 year old to take care of.
I admit I did use CIO with my son but he was crabby long before I used it. I think I resorted to it because he was more challenging. I never had to consider it with my daughter, she falls asleep easily.
My son was a first born so he got exclusive attention and ALOT of it. My daughter has to wait more than he did.
The fondations of our personalities are inheirited and then shaped by our environment.

Tammy - posted on 12/04/2010

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I don't think they have "better parents", but I have b/g twins and my entire pregnancy my friends all told me I was going to have "good, happy" babies because I was so easy going and relaxed about everything. And I do have two incredible happy babies...they are 4 months old and are both good eaters and good sleepers and both very content.

[deleted account]

I think majority of it comes down to babies personality.
Out of all 3 of my babies my 2nd was the happiest (once the colic went).
But i do belive the generally speaking the way a parenst react to their childs needs helps them be better adjusted.

[deleted account]

It does depend on a combination of factors but I feel it is lead very strongly by the personality of the baby. My brother and I were raised by our parents in the same way yet I was a fab baby (if I do say so myself) I didn't cry too much and slept well, I was very contented my brother on the other hand cried constantly, and was not overly contented.

Although I do agree that uptight parents do lead to uptight children (generally speaking) because babies can sense emotions and atmospheres and it affects how they feel.

Charlie - posted on 12/04/2010

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I don't think it is about being a :"good" parent or a "bad" parent , I think it is about being a happy parent , I find among my friends and myself those who are relaxed , happy go lucky people generally have babies that reflect the same and vice versa , but being a stressed mummy doesn't necessarily mean being a bad mummy IMO.

I also think the way a child is nurtured and forms their attachments plays a big part in it too as does their environment .

Angel - posted on 12/04/2010

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I think it is kinda out there to say someone with a crabby baby is a bad parent. I also have seen shit poor parents with very happy babies.

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