do you think breastfeeding after 1 is ok?

Patricia - posted on 03/30/2012 ( 423 moms have responded )

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i think its not ok.. i try to get my baby off the bottle around 1 so thats why i think it weird to breast feed after maybe 1

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/10/2012

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but, Janice, what do you NOT get about it NOT ALWAYS BEING A CHOICE???



Its not always a choice. It wasn't for me. I actually am so sick and tired of people that keep pushing "Its free, its the BEST thing" but you are failing to acknowledge that there are truly some people for whom it is not a choice!



Please, at least amend your statements to reflect that you truly understand the entire picture.



And, please, tell me, and Little Miss, and everyone else asking you: WHY DOES IT MATTER TO YOU what someone else does with their baby? If baby is fed, loved, clothed, and cared for, isn't that the most important?

Jenn - posted on 04/10/2012

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It is your choice, of course, but most cultures nurse much longer than one year. The World Health Organization recommends at least two years. As long as you nurse, babies receive not only unsurpassd nutrition, but also the factors needed to develop the immune system and protect your baby against disease. Breast milk contains lymphocytes and macrophages that produce antibodies and other immune factors. It also contains elements that guard against viruses, fungi and parasites. So naturally, extended breast feeding would continue to boost your baby's health .



I nursed my first daughter for 20 months, she weaned herself when I got pregnant with my second daughter. My youngest weaned herself at 26 months. They are both very healthy little girls. In part because we live a healthy lifestyle but also because of the extended breast feeding benefits.

In reading a few of the other posts, I see wet nurses being mentioned. My husband's aunt was nursing her baby at the same time as my mother in law attempted to nurse hers. When she couldn't, the aunt nursed him when she could. A tremendous gift of love, if you ask me.





You have to do what is right for you and your baby. I commend you for nursing even for a year! It isnt easy to nurse and I do hope you will consider extended nursing. It is far less stressful than forced weaning when baby isn't ready. And you can set boundaries for when, how you nurse once baby is over a year. It will continue to bond you and baby which is always long term wonderful!

Tracey - posted on 04/09/2012

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Just a side note on what people did prior to "formula" (fake milk given a fancy name to make it seem like it's heavily-researched. It's not. Most formulas started out as a way to use and sell industrial whey waste.):



There was an era during which the upper classes could afford a wet nurse, but most people couldn't. For those people, the best alternative was a mixture of raw cow's milk and few other things, like cod liver oil. In fact, New York City-area physicians issued the "Doctors' Raw Milk Standard" specifically to combat infant mortality rates from dirty, thin, adulterated milk.



This recipe, as well as a liver-based substitute milk, are available on the Weston A. Price website. At this point, they and their components have had not only a long history of use, but lots of research as well. The milk-based ones *must* be made using milk from cows raised and kept based on the Doctors' Raw Milk Standard, or the nutritional profile will not be right. Most farmers that raise their cows to produce raw milk (not selling it to dairies where it will be denatured through pasteurization) will follow this standard and even go beyond it.

Kate CP - posted on 04/09/2012

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I was in the hospital last night for mastitis (needed antibiotics ASAP). The looks I got from the nurses when I told them my son was 15 months old was rather disheartening. I told the triage nurse (who looked at me like I was nuts) that the WHO recommends nursing till 2 years. Her response? "Well, THEY aren't the ones nursing!" Okay, so? I don't mind nursing my son. If I did, I wouldn't do it! The charge nurse told me I was brave because she stopped nursing her kids when they got teeth. If I had done that, my son would have been weaned at 3 months.



If a mom is comfortable with nursing longer than 1 year (or 2, or 3, or however long) then it's up to Mom and child. I *do* believe that once a kid is nearing puberty (8, 9, 10) it's time to stop.

Vicki - posted on 04/09/2012

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True, I think it has been vaguely mentioned, although many people are freaked out by the idea of milk sharing, let alone wet-nursing. I've breastfed a friend's baby, so of course I've no problems with it. It should be more accepted really. I've often thought it would be perfect for a new Mum having difficulty establishing supply and say a Mum of a 2 month old to cross nurse. The experienced bub will help stimulate supply and the new bub will get a feed.



Not everyone wet-nursed though if they couldn't bf, there's plenty of stories of babies getting fed cows milk, sugar water, gruel and other pap which probably did make them malnourished. It's great that formula has been developed as an alternative. It's NOT great that it is controlled by multinationals for a huge profit who essentially destroyed the breastfeeding knowledge of the previous couple of generations and we are only now clawing it back again. They are still causing great damage in developing countries (been into a store in Africa? I have, in Uganda, the marketing is in your face, much more than here).

Aleks - posted on 04/09/2012

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(I have been quite busy the last few days... and as always join late to a heated debate...lol)



To those that have an issue or even think it is down right weird/wrong... etc to breastfeed a child passed (insert number here), what would you do if:

- child allergic to cows milk?

- child allergic to soy?



What would you propose that child gets?????????? No, its not possible for sum of us to pump and put it in a cup. Also, kids actually like to snuggle in and nurse (they really do), so taking that away from them is emotionally hurting them (sorry ladies, any forced removal of any security item will be like that and not just to babies/kids)....



Just putting this out there..........





Oh yeah, and I cannot believe that after 14 pages of posts no one tackled the issue regarding what happened "back in the day" if a woman was unable to breastfeed.

Well, if it was *PRIOR* to bottles and cows milk (and then formula), hmmmm..... I would think it was typically (if one was poor) something another lactating woman in the family (or tribe) that would probably take over that area. I would assume this was a typical thing anyway, that is other women in ones family would breastfeed eachother's babies when said woman was unable to or even because she was out ... wait for it, wait for it... gasp.... WORKING, by ploughing the fields, making baskets, fetching wood or water, foraging for food....etc etc....... its kind of how our society of humans did things (and given for great majority of the time we lived in small tribes or villages which had to be closely knit by it very nature and need to survive). I hardly doubt they would allow an infant to starve if it didn't need to (but then again, may be its just me assuming things too much......)

Anyway, just thought I would get this out there since no-one seemed to.

Mandy - posted on 04/09/2012

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Is that around 1am or 1pm?

Mind your own business love, let mums and kids feed as long as they want. Not to the arbitrary age YOU think it ok.

Jodi - posted on 04/09/2012

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I didn't say YOU were ignorant. I said that it was an ignorant opinion to say that "Breastfeeding past the age of 18month is not ok". Why is it ignorant? Because there is absolutely nothing to back it up. If you had said that FOR YOU it would not be ok to breastfeed past 18 months, that's different. But you didn't say that. You globalised your opinion to say that BREASTFEEDING was not ok past this age. Therefore, it is an ignorant opinion. Or, if you would like me to rephrase, an opinion that lacks education, knowledge, valid research, or even any real basis.



To call someone ignorant (YOU are uneducated) and to say that something is an ignorant opinion (your opinion on THAT topic is uneducated) are two different things.



It isn't that I don't like your opinion (although I don't like it, but that wasn't what I said). It is that it is ignorant and incorrect.

Stifler's - posted on 04/08/2012

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I love how people think extended breastfeeding kids are not eating any food aswell as drinking breast milk.

Tracey - posted on 04/08/2012

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All the studies done so far still show measurable nutritional and developmental benefits to the oldest age the studies looked at, which is 36 months. There's still enough of a difference at 36 months in nutrition to make it worthwhile! I tried with all three of mine, but had to quit at 21 months with my oldest because I had pneumonia and was pregnant, and I just couldn't handle it. I lasted to 30 months with the next one, but she kept doing a "nip and run"--taking one sip and then running off, leaving me a let-down with no one to drink it. I think she really needed to nurse longer; she developed pica (eating non-food items) and also still today at 13 needs to have something in her mouth (gum, hard candy). I've seen a couple of studies linking early weaning to the likelihood of having food or substance abuse problems, like cigarette smoking. Early weaning in the studies meant weaning before the child chose to wean.



My last one I did finally manage to nurse longer, to the age of 3 1/2. After about 2 1/'2, it was only a quick session every other day or so, or if she was scared or got hurt. I would have kept going but felt a bit uncomfortable and was getting some nasty comments about it. So I finally weaned her. Both of us missed it for a long time.

Vicki - posted on 04/08/2012

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Haha Siobhan had to click 'funny' on yours. Do you really think breastfeeding toddlers are missing out on nutrients? It's the opposite if anything. They eat solids just like non-breastfeeding kids, mine even has cows milk in a cup, plus he gets all the nutrients and immunity boost from breastmilk. Love to know where you got that idea from.

Jodi - posted on 04/08/2012

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OK, no way am I reading 13 pages of posts, sorry! lol I breastfed my first child until 20 months, and am currently breastfeeding my 14 month old twins. So yes, breastfeeding after 1 is not just ok, it's great! lol



As for the relaxation topic. My twins did get a bottle on a daily basis until just a couple of months ago. Breastfeeding gave me a sense of deep, total body and mind relaxation. I would become relaxed with bottle feeding too, but not in the same way, not to the same depth. More than relaxation with breastfeeding, there was a sense of serenity and peace of mind, satisfaction that I didn't get with bottle feeding. It's like, bottle feeding brought me relaxation, but breastfeeding brought it home...does that make sense? But, that's just me. I really enjoy breastfeeding, it's important to me and to my kids. If you don't enjoy it, or *want* to do it, I doubt you'll find those same feelings.

Jodi - posted on 04/08/2012

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Siobhan, you do realise, right, that this is just your very ignorant opinioin and not actually fact? Because the World Health Organisation actually RECOMMENDS breastfeeding to AT LEAST the age of 2.



"i think how an earth can that child/children be getting the nutrients they need at the age of 2, 3, 4 "



Really? You don't give your kids cups of milk at those ages? It's essentially the same thing. Breastfed kids DO eat, you know, just like other children.

Siobhan - posted on 04/08/2012

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Breastfeeding past the age of 18month is not ok. you see plenty of programs on tele about breastfeeding mums still breastfeeding their child or children when they are past 18 months and i think how an earth can that child/children be getting the nutrients they need at the age of 2, 3, 4 etc.



I'm all for breastfeeding but there has to be a point where the child has to learn that it's not ok to have breast milk and for me that age would would be at the maximum age of 18 months because by then the child is running around and some are even getting ready to start preschool nursery at 2 and a half.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/08/2012

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Ah, well it does not happen with all breastfed babies.... ;)



I breastfed my girl until 18 months. She has had numerous fillings but she is also going on 14 (we do not do a lot of sugars in my home nor fast foods). The 2nd and 3rd year of her life, she was deathly ill. However, come to find it was due to enlarged adenoids. Once they were removed, yes, she is rarely sick. When she is, it is for one to two days and is fairly mild.



My son was only breastfed for 3 months (medical reasons occurred, to make me have to stop). He then moved onto formula. He has never had the flu. He has spent 3 months of being sick but it was due to his ears and how the tubes had not yet developed correctly. He gets this from his Dad. His Dad has had 6 ear tube operations in his life. To this day he still has problems with them. My son, did not get tubes. I refused them and did my own solution, which worked and helped tremendously. Since then (3 months now, since his last ear infection) he has never been sick.



My daughter was in Daycare, my son is now and has been for 7 months.



Now for me. I was formula fed. I have rarely ever been sick., even as a child. I would get the odd cold here and there but they never lasted very long. To this day, I do not get sick. Even if one of my children have that mild one to two day cold, I have yet to get it. It has been over 5 years since I have been sick.



Honestly, your life style, including the foods (solid), excericise and cleanliness, play a huge role in your health. You can be a formula fed baby or a breastfed baby and be the sickest or the healthiest. It truly does not depend on what milk you had. Yes, breastmilk has antibodies but I know kids that have been exclusively breastfed and they are sick ALL the time. A good friend of mine actually, that had her baby 2 months before me having my son. She exclusively breastfed for 18 months. Her son is ALWAYS sick. I think he has been sick more than he has not. He isn't even in a Daycare. ;)

Erna - posted on 04/08/2012

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Why would it be weird to breastfeed after a year? I had my first and only child at 45...i breastfed her until she was 2 years old...she has never been on antibiotics, ever, has only had a temp/fever twice in her life and has grown up in a pre-school that i run, exposed to all the different "germs" of other children, including her school, that i sent her to when she was 2.5 years old.....so i believe in breastfed babies...BIG TIME. She is 8.5 years old now and has no fillings, never gets sick, beyond the odd little flu bug for a day or two and is happy healthy and physically very strong....i only give her homeopathic medicines and nothing but a balanced diet...no extra vitamins at all.

I started feeding her solids at 6 months, but kept the breastfeeding / bonding thing going...great for both of us....it was a privilege to be able to work and be able to keep breastfeeding.

Erin - posted on 04/08/2012

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http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/co...

As a new mom I would always look to experts & then merge that information with my own maternal instinct... (If something the experts said was right; truly felt wrong; I would seek further advice)...

I have breast fed all of my children (4 to be exact). With the first I traveled for work & breastmilk forgotten 2 hours away (was of no use to my daughter); further even if remembered & kept cold the amount I could get pumped during my lunch hour was never enough to sustain her through my 9 hour work day & travel time... So, she was never "solely" breast milk. Breastmilk was her main source of nutrician; but, she was daily supplemented with formula. At age 18mos she no longer desired to nurse (extremely intelligent~nearing her college degree now) she prefered something that allowed her the ability to look around & take in the world...

However, when my job disappeared 1 month after our 2nd child was born I vowed to breastfeed him solely until he was fully on foods. He did great... Loved his bottle when he was finally allowed one & although he LOVED to nurse, I was uncomfortable once he turned 2 & weaned him (huge upset to him for weeks)...

9 years ago we had our 3rd & after reading the AAP statement above (at that time it said through age 3; I didn't notice a specific age in their newest statement). So, I nursed him as long as he wanted... Once he was 18 months he only nursed before nap & bed & 1st thing in the morning; by 2 only nap & bed time & by 2.5 bed time only. A few weeks before his 3rd birthday I let him know once he turned 3 he would no longer need to nurse; but that we would still have our story time in his rocker like always. The night before his birthday I said, OK, this is the last time. The transition was MUCH, MUCH better than it had been with our 2nd child 9 years earlier...

I am still nursing our 4th child, age 2.5 he is still nursing at wake up, nap time & bed time & has been slower in every area (sleeping through the night, potty training, etc.) than the other 3; so I am not sure how the transition will go at 3; right now I am trying to get him to the breakfast table ASAP when he wakes up & to rock him / soothe him w/o the breast at nap time w/o much luck... We'll see if I can get him off by 3... On another note, I did not nurse either this one nor the last one in public past the age of 18 mos (& just say when we get home when asked)...

Further, while Ty is behind in some areas he is ahead in others like knowing his alphabet by age 2 lower & upper case... So, guess like all children are different so are all parents... I encourage you to do what you feel is best for your CHILD in your heart of hearts & if that means weaning early or nursing late~go for it!!!

Shelley - posted on 04/06/2012

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Having read all the posts. I think i win the worst mum award.



I breastfed because it was cheep i neither liked or disliked it. Sometimes i was just too tired to be bothered and it would annoy me that i had to get up and feed them. Sometimes i liked it and thought that this was the picture perfect mum thing to do, didn't last long as i then found that i could wash up one handed, hang the clothes on the line, chase a naughty toddler, check emails and talk on the phone all whilst breast feeding.



If i was going out i left a bottle and formula for my mum or husband to give them because i couldn't work out how to pump. My kids seemed happy enough and i didn't care i just wanted a couple hours break.



I stopped feeding my 1st at 14 months because i was selfish and pregnant and wanted a break. I tried to stop feeding my second at 14 months and just fed her when she asked maybe once or twice a week till she was almost 3 because it was just easier to get her back to sleep if she was sick or allowed me an extra 20 minutes in bed with my eyes closed i the morning.



I don't care how or how long anyone feeds there child i Support friends that breastfeed and i love it when my friends and sister in law bottle feed as it means i get to have a turn and there is nothing nicer than feeding and cuddling a baby that you can give back when they are grumpy.



i can't believe how many posts there are here. :)

Karla - posted on 04/06/2012

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Janice,



Don't sweat it, you're fine. I know sometimes messages get misunderstood and misinterpreted, but that's bound to happen. I know I try (not always succeeding) to give the writer the benefit of doubt.



:-)

Karla - posted on 04/06/2012

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Johnny, I actually just read that the chemicals involved with stress can inhibit the release of Oxytocin. In light of that, the stress probably creates a snowball effect that's very difficult to avoid.



I was actually referring to a time when my kids were toddlers. I remember a particularly stressful day, I didn't feel I had the time to sit down and nurse a toddler (who would be just fine with a snack and juice) but the insistent child really wanted to nurse. When I sat down to nurse, I felt that wave of relaxation that comes with the hormones, and I knew that is exactly what I needed to be doing at that moment. It helped me think more clearly about priorities and what I needed to do.



Even though I often felt that way, there were a few stressful times that clearly showed that those hormones calmed me down and helped me be a better mom.



Johnny, I'm glad it became a positive experience for you as well.

Johnny - posted on 04/06/2012

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In my case, I think I actually may have lost some of my potential to be a great mom when my daughter was an infant because I was sooooo stressed out about breastfeeding her. Making milk consumed so much of my energy, exhausted me so much, that I gave less to her because of it. That was my reality. So while I think for many mothers for whom feeding at the breast goes relatively well, it may well build a more positive relationship, for other women, who struggle or have negative hormonal reactions, breastfeeding probably gets in the way. When my daughter no longer had to rely on my milk (and the formula I supplemented with) for all her nourishment once she was established on solids, I honestly became a way better mom. I actually did enjoy nursing at that point, as I did get positive hormones, because the pressure to keep her alive had been lifted.

Janice - posted on 04/06/2012

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Do my posts come off as rude? If so, my sincere apologies.



This post:

"I wont argue - no one has to answer my question or clarify what seems quite strange to me. I truly am just trying that particular situation better because I do have a different perspective. "



was in direct response to these posts:



"They don't need to justify their reasons. That is also the point. I cannot answer for every women that chooses to stop or never try to BF. But I also don't think they need to validate their reasons." LMCBW

"Just because you didn't feel that way doesn't mean that plenty of others don't. I also don't think that anyone who chooses to stop earlier than a year needs to justify it to anyone." Mary



I don't believe that a woman is a bad mom for giving formula at any time in a child's life. I just wasnt understanding why someone would switch at 10+ months for no reason beyond 'its weird to breastfeed an older infant' which is what I thought Barb was trying to say. Now I think maybe I misinterpreted her post.

Mary and Little Miss you did explain well that some women just hate BFing and cant do it another second longer. I started weaning slowly at 10 months because I was not happy with breastfeeding on demand, so I understand the "I'm just over it" attitude toward breastfeeding. And can recall that now that it has been pointed out.



I'm just a nosy a bitch sometimes ;)

[deleted account]

Yeah, I was agreeing. My backwards sentence structure was a bit confusing lol. At first I felt conflicted because I wanted to breastfeed, but it just wasn't in the cards for me and after I accepted that, it was such a peaceful time for me and my kids. I would feel a let down reaction, but there was no milk there to let down. It was weird...

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/06/2012

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Kaci---



That is what I was referring to. I was formula feeding my son. ;) I too had the relaxation come over me, just as Karla (whom was breastfeeding).



Is that what you meant? You were agreeing with me? It didn't sound like it though, if you were. ;)

[deleted account]

I had the same relaxation come over me, and I had to formula feed, MeMe. Yes, I was upset that my body wasn't capable of making milk, but all that mattered to me is that my child was healthy, happy and growing :0)

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/06/2012

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I must agree with Rebecca though. If you never bottle fed, you wouldn't know how you would've felt. No, the same hormones would not have been released but for me, just sitting there holding my boy, watching him while he fed, made me feel very relaxed. Nothing else around me mattered. Just that very sacred moment. It still has that affect on me.;)



Also, I must add that, I do have an issue with any mother that says they are a "good" mother because they breastfed or formula fed, simply for that only reason. Being a good Mom is so much more than how you fed/feed your child. How you fed/feed your child is the smallest part of making someone a good Mom. It does not mean you will be a better Mom, it just means you may be in better spirits, thus making you better at the time.



There are Mom's out there that breastfeed and think they are an awesome Mom but then they turn around and beat the shit out of that same kid. So, are they still an awesome or better Mom, than if they had formula fed? I don't think so. ;)



There is a difference of being a better Mom for how you feel when you feed your child, to being a better Mom simply because of how you feed. If that makes sense. I am having difficulty explaining what I am trying to say.



You could breastfeed or formula feed for 1-5 years and still turn out to be a shitty ass mother. Is what I am trying to say. Don't ever think that how you feed your child dictates how good of a mother you are. It doesn't. You are also no better than the next. Remember, for all those that someone judges for how they feed, they just may end up in that very situation.



ETA:

The above is a generalized statement, it is not directed at any one person. However, I have perceived some statements in this thread, as being said, they are better than other's OR a good Mom, just because of how they feed. Which, to me, is a load of horse poop.

Mrs. - posted on 04/06/2012

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I'm not doubting that you weren't relaxed by breastfeeding, I'm just not certain you wouldn't have found the same relaxation with other tools if formula was the only option for you.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/06/2012

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Karla---You probably meant that if anyone thinks they are a better mother *than anyone else because* they breastfed or formula fed then they are completely wrong, but the way you worded your point it brought to mind my experience, as follows.



Yes, sorry. I could have worded it better. I most definitely did mean it in regards of being a better mother than the next mother. It is true as a mother, you would feel better for doing it how you chose, simply because you chose it for very real reasons that pertain to your life and beliefs(and for all the reasons you stated, that were in your experience, for you). ;)



I felt like a better mother for "me" moving on to formula with my son (after I got over the guilt and sadness), simply because he would've starved otherwise.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/06/2012

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Karla---



LOL - Oh I am judging the mom's that think they are awesome "just" because of what, how and/or the length of time, they fed their babies. ;) To me, it is a joke. ;)



ETA:

Awesomer than the next mother...Is what I mean, with that statement.

Karla - posted on 04/06/2012

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Rebecca "Who's to say if you would have been a better mother or not to your child anyway...there aren't any time machines mass produced that I know about and each kid/mother-child bond is different.



I say, and I know... I know how I felt one minute, then a sad toddler wanted me to sit down and nurse, I did and I felt the wave a relaxation sweep over me and I realized everything I was stressing over was irrelevant.



I personally don't need, and obviously won't get your vote of confidence, but I do know that I was better mom with those hormones, thanks.



We all know what decisions we make that help us in our parenting, and I know this one helped me.

Mrs. - posted on 04/06/2012

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Yeah, I got the opposite reaction to relaxation when breastfeeding, I had anxiety attacks....but to each her own hormone responses.



Who's to say if you would have been a better mother or not to your child anyway...there aren't any time machines mass produced that I know about and each kid/mother-child bond is different. So, all you can say is that is your guess on it. I mean, it is also likely that you would have found other ways to relax and bond with your child if formula was the only option. Who knows?

Karla - posted on 04/06/2012

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Meme: "These women have either, not experienced enough of motherhood or are stuck so far up their own ass, it isn't funny."



Totally not judging other mothers though... (heavy sarcasm.)

;-)

Karla - posted on 04/06/2012

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Mary, “I know that there are many women (like Meme) who do feel guilt, sadness, or disappointment when breastfeeding doesn't work for them. However, I also know that there are plenty of women who truly don't feel that way. Not every women who tries to nurse really does "want" to.”



That’s why I said: “That’s not to say all women feel that way, or that it’s common, but it isn’t uncommon either.”



And Meme: ”I am sorry but if anyone thinks, they are a better mother for breastfeeding or formula feeding. They are in a complete fairy tale and serioiusly need to come back to reality.”



You probably meant that if anyone thinks they are a better mother *than anyone else because* they breastfed or formula fed then they are completely wrong, but the way you worded your point it brought to mind my experience, as follows.



Comparing me breastfeeding to me not breastfeeding and considering this fact: “Breastfeeding releases oxytocin and prolactin, hormones that relax the mother and make her feel more nurturing toward her baby” and the fact that many mother’s can actually feel the relaxation overcome them while breastfeeding, I would most certainly say that I believe I was a better mother than I would have been had I not breastfed. Sorry, but that’s my reality and I’m staying there. Many times I could feel the relaxation as I breastfed and I was thankful for those hormones – it just made my whole day better. I don’t doubt that someone will be insulted by this fact from my life, but I chose to share it anyway. =)



For the record that is NOT to say I thought I was a better mother than anyone else because of my feeding method, just that I know I was a better mother to my own children than had I not breastfed.

Barb - posted on 04/06/2012

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Strange might have been the wrong word. It's different from what I am use to. I am not trying to judge anyone have no problem really if people want to do it just haven't seen it around me. I don't know anyone who has ever done it that's what I should have said. I don't like feeling judged about breast feeding and then bottle feeding and I wasn't judging you. Like I said I haven't seen it don't know anyone who did that's it.

Merry - posted on 04/06/2012

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Barb I was just trying to make a point that things we haven't done sometimes look strange but someone else whose doing it might think what you're doing is strange.



If I was talking to myself when my son was first born and said you should nurse him til he's three I'd have laughed and been totally grossed out by the thought.

But here I am, the night before he turns three and while he's close to weaned he's not there yet and I'm so happy to have allowed him to grow out of it on his own.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/06/2012

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Gezo---



Start a new thread, this is about breastfeeding past age 1... ;)

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/06/2012

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My best friend (or should say good friend now, she moved and we don't talk much anymore), never breastfed because she doesn't like it. No other reason. It just is not for her. So, she decided for her, it was best to spend a fortune on formula.



To each is own. Who really cares.



Who really cares if someone, never breastfeeds, always breastfeeds, switches from breastmilk to formula (for whatever reason), gives a bottle until they are 20 or breastfeeds until they are 20? I don't give a shit, really, I don't. Everyone has their reasons. Some of which, we, ourselves, do not understand. This does not mean they are wrong, it means they have made a different choice. That's it, that's all, nothing more to it.



As I have said before, I would only ever breastfeed until 18-24months. I would wean my child, they would not wean themselves, unless it was within the ages I just specified. However, that does not mean the next person that breastfeeds until they are 3,4 or 5 are wrong. It just means, it is not for me and my children. Yes, I have my reasons but so do those that do breastfeed past "my" age limit. They simply have a different opinion and outlook. I know, they can still be and most are, great parents, just as the mother that chooses not to breastfeed ever. Since how you feed your baby has absolutely NOTHING to do with how good of a mother you are, EVER.



There is SO much more into being a good mother, over and above how you fed them, for their first years of their lives. I think it is appauling how anyone can think, that how they feed their baby or for how long, is what distinguishes what type of mother they are. This IS utter bullshit. I am sorry but if anyone thinks, they are a better mother for breastfeeding or formula feeding. They are in a complete fairy tale and serioiusly need to come back to reality.



I am not saying anyone here has said it but I have interpreted some statements as such. It simply makes me mad. As someone that has done both, 18months BF the first time and 3 months BF, with 9months FF, the second time. As someone that has been a mother for 14 years. It makes me crazy to think, some women put themsleves above other's simply because of how they fed/feed their child.



These women have either, not experienced enough of motherhood or are stuck so far up their own ass, it isn't funny. To understand what actually dictates a "wonderful" mother, I can tell you right now, it is NOT how you feed your baby or for how long they get a boob or bottle.



ETA:

There should never be judgement from anyone, towards a mother for how they feed or for how long they do it. Feeding your child is a very innocent act, it is a very positive act. No one is hurting their baby/toddler/kid. They are simply providing one of life's most basic necessities, the way they believe is best.



I have yet to meet anyone that is all fucked up because they were fed breastmilk or formula for a short or long period of time. I have known and met 100's of people in my life. Sure I have met some pretty messed up people but, they were like that for other reasons, than how they were fed as a little child.

Barb - posted on 04/06/2012

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Janice sorry i got tired of trying to explain to you, your just not getting.This is about breast feeding after 1 not me bottle feeding me daughter after breast feeding her. I am done with the conversation. I listened to your prespective and really if you want to breast feed after 1 I don't care do what you think is right.I did!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/06/2012

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But Janice, we are trying to answer. But we cannot answer for other women that we do not know. Making a blanket statement about why mothers who stop breastfeeding a child would be silly. There are many reasons why women do, will and have. How can we give a perfect answer for every women?

Janice - posted on 04/06/2012

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I wont argue - no one has to answer my question or clarify what seems quite strange to me. I truly am just trying that particular situation better because I do have a different perspective.

Mary - posted on 04/06/2012

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Janice, I think that there are a plethora of reasons why women choose to stop nursing - some of it involuntary, and some of it falling under the category of personal preference.



I've known more than few women who simply could not stand it. They did it for as long as they could tolerate it - be it a month, or 3, or 10. It wasn't so much about thinking that it was their "right" to stop - it was that they had stuck it out just as long as they could, and were unwilling to tolerate it another freaking second.



Just because you didn't feel that way doesn't mean that plenty of others don't. I also don't think that anyone who chooses to stop earlier than a year needs to justify it to anyone.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/06/2012

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Some people are just done with it. They don't need to justify their reasons. That is also the point. I cannot answer for every women that chooses to stop or never try to BF. But I also don't think they need to validate their reasons.



Lets try this...you go into another persons home for a week and see how they live. They may do things generally the same, but not exactly. You may think it is weird that they approach things in a certain way, but it works for them.

Barb - posted on 04/06/2012

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Laura ♥♥♥ I never weaned my daughter off at 8 months and never said I did not sure where you got the info from. I am not the only one here saying they think it's strange I just don't know anyone who has ever done it that long that's why it seems different ok?

Janice - posted on 04/06/2012

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Little Miss -If you read my post closely, I am honestly just curious on why you would make such at a switch at 10 or 11 months. It plainly just baffles me.



Barb I understand your situation and that you cant help answer my question since you were actually talk about other women you know.



I'm not judging anyone as bad. I just really have never understood why some women choose to pay a boat load of money for infant food that their body makes for free unless they have too. It does not really "matter" in that your right, it doesn't affect me, I'm just honestly curious. And as my previous post said I totally understand that it is not an option for some women.



So I guess my only "judgement" is that women who choose to pay for infant food for no reason other than its their right to do so are silly.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/06/2012

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For me, I do wish I had gone longer with my daughter. I force weened her, but I would not want to BF a 3 year old. To each their own.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/06/2012

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I BF my son until he was 7 months. I started back to work when he was 2 months, and pumped. He also got formula. He and I were both ready to ween when he was 7 months. When he was 12 months and could get whole milk, he hated it. Had to keep him on formula.



My daughter, I solely BF until she was 15 months. She would drink milk from a sippy cup but would NEVER take a bottle. Each kids is different. Some need/want it for longer, and some are ready to ween early.

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