Does breastfeeding cause divorce?

Becky - posted on 02/01/2011 ( 19 moms have responded )

2,892

44

92

http://www.blogher.com/studying-recent-s...
This is an older piece, so my apologies if it's already been discussed. I just came across it tonight.

I think she's really reaching here. I'll come up with a more intellegent response tomorrow, it's late now and I think I may have just heard my son crying.

Oh, and we just did the whole breast is best debate, I'm not intending for this to be another one of those. Just curious if anyone thinks her point of view has any merit.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Rosie - posted on 02/03/2011

8,657

30

315

i actually agree with everything she stated. i can completely see how it can cause divorce rates if women were to do something that obviously 88%of women don't want to do now. it would definitley put a strain.

Sharon - posted on 02/03/2011

11,585

12

1314

No breastfeeding does not cause divorce.

Incompatible parenting styles causes divorce.

Extreme devotion to something to the exclusion of all else (like some extreme AP parenting styles I've read of) will cause divorce.

BUT NOT breastfeeding, in and of itself.

Minnie - posted on 02/03/2011

7,076

9

786

♥ my husband who is my most ardent supporter of breastfeeding to natural duration. He knows more about breastfeeding than most women do :D.



The author thinks that a 90% breastfed rate is an unhealthy goal- and that it will lead to divorce and depression. I'm sure she thinks that way because there is so little support and accurate information readily available to mothers.



What we need is more accurate breastfeeding education. Not misinformation and myths spread around (and they're spread by lactation consultants, even), formula marketed to breastfeeding mothers (yes ladies, there is formula with the label 'for breastfeeding mothers' on it). We also need empathy. Not lactation consultants belittling mothers' efforts. And doctors and nurses need to be adequtely educated on the normal course of breastfeeding.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/16/2011

19,001

9

3003

No. Bad marriages cause divorce. If a marriage does not have a good foundation to begin with, anything can be an "excuse" or a "cause" for divorce.

Amanda - posted on 02/16/2011

2,559

3

365

Interesting concept but history does not prove this! For 1000s of years woman breastfeed their children until age 3 or higher, and there was ZERO divorce rate. So come on and get real, breastfeeding does not and has not caused divorce. Its just another sad excuse for people to break up, what causes divorce is the lack of respect for marriage, family, and eachother! Like my grandmother always told me, dont get married until you are 100% sure this is the person you wanna spend the rest of your life with, and the ONLY excuses for divorced is abuse or cheating, everything else can be worked out.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

19 Comments

View replies by

Johnny - posted on 02/15/2011

8,686

26

318

Not in my personal experience. I suppose if either the mother is solely obsessed with the baby to the exclusion of all other things or the husband is an immature prick, then yes, it could probably happen. But either way, it would probably be better not to be stuck with someone like that. I would have been totally and completely shocked if my husband had turned out to have a problem with my nurturing our daughter. It would have been as if I was married to someone I didn't really know. That could cause a divorce.

Merry - posted on 02/15/2011

9,274

169

248

Matt told me yesterday he wants Eric to breastfeed til he is 8 like the Spartans! Lol, so no, breastfeeding isn't putting any strain on our marriage!

Merry - posted on 02/15/2011

9,274

169

248

I haven't read the aRticle because I'm supposed to be sleeping now but I can't seem to turn the computer off :)
But I think it's likely the same one I read previously, so I'll just answer with the convo I had with my hubby after reading an article about this.
He said that me breastfeeding Eric makes him love me more because I'm showing him how much I'm willing to put into erics well being.
He said if I was to be all weird and not let him (my husband) touch my boobs ever, then yeah he might resent me breastfeeding. But since I let boobs be fun toys during sex, he is quite happy I use tem as their designed purpose to feed Eric.
He says if I kicked him out of bed at night and slept with Eric, then yeah he would be upset and maybe take it out on the breastfeeding.
But since we still get quality time together in bed, it's all good!

So no I don't think breastfeeding causes divorce, I do think that ignoring your husband and his physical needs causes divorce :)

Lynn - posted on 02/15/2011

29

12

4

Wow this is totally off base.
First, there is evidence that the same hormones that help baby and mom bond through breastfeeding also bond dad to mom. And what dad can logically resent a woman who cares for his children? Sounds very immature to me.
Also, mental anguish? Are you kidding me I believe lack of nursing explains a lot of our countries ppd. Not all of it bc there are many factors. I nursed and had ppd but nursing was one of the things that made me feel better.
Parenting is about sacrifice. I believe in helping kids be self sufficient but part of that is giving them what the need. When you have a baby they need YOU and that means a HUGE change in your life.
This frightens me bc I have a feeling she is not the only one. This illustrates why we need to have the government or someone work change our cultural views!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shauna - posted on 02/03/2011

1,015

19

33

Hmmm... i dont know about this lady. No i do not think breastfeeding causes divorce. My husband thought it was awesome. He would always brag to his freinds about it. And say look at our freezer look how much milk she made isnt that cool!!! And everytime i breastfed my son he would always stare in awe, and tell me what a beautiful thing i was doing. When i complained about the look of my boobs after breastfeeding, he explained he didnt care b/c i made the ultimate sacrifice on my body for his son our child and he loves me for that.

So no , i think divorce is more caused by something else. Some underlying issue, not breastfeeding.

Sherri - posted on 02/03/2011

9,593

15

387

Love this article A LOT!!! I agree and feel very similarly to her views. I think her view has a TON of merit!!

Amanda - posted on 02/03/2011

697

15

25

Lisa- my husband too, he tells me all the time how cool it is that i will breastfeed anywhere,lol.

Amanda - posted on 02/03/2011

697

15

25

to answer the question posed in the OP, no. I don't think breastfeeding causes divorce, but I do beleive it can have a "straw that broke the camels back" effect on a couple that has other issues in their relationship. If a woman is using breastfeeding as an excuse to neglect her husband then chances are there are underlying issues. men are more egocentric than women, typically, and they do require attention from their spouse/partner otherwise they will become resentful. if there are other issues in the marriage/relationship this resent can lead to it's demise. As for the blogger in the OPs link..... she makes the assumption that most, if not all, breastfeeding mothers feel isolated and tied down. Personally, breastfeeding has not made me feel these things, i'll breastfeed anywhere. and don't we give up a certain degree of freedom anyway once we have babies? isn't it a little rediculous to blame loss of freedom on breastfeeding? and really, if she was embarassed by breastfeeding a 10 month old then that's on her, she should have quit at that point.

Brandi - posted on 02/03/2011

406

40

5

I wouldn't say that in itself causes a divorce, but not paying attention to your spouse does. Children need love and affection, and they need their parent, but... I think it is necessary for some "us" time. I feel that it is ok to have someone babysit your child for you once or twice a week so that the two of you can have time for yourselves to just be YOU, not Mom or Dad. People sometimes lose that individuality after they have children, and that is bad because that is who you were before you had children, who the other fell in love with. You need to still try to be that person, not just MOM.

[deleted account]

wow. just wow. I read that entire article the psychopath wrote and let me tell you she scares me. As for the question above. No breastfeeding does NOT cause divorce. It is the sudden changes in a couples life in which 2 people feel they cannot get past and then divorce as a result of said conflict. However, it is NEVER the fault of a child or the care in which they need.

Kimberly - posted on 02/02/2011

785

23

317

I would have to say that it doesnt cause divorce as the main reason. If 10 months is embarassing then whats 15months?!?!? I do agree that when you do bf there is a bigger demand on the mother as far as what you eat, drink,etc but that should be the sole reason to not do it. Bottle fed babies still wake during the night, still need fed when shopping and can still want there mom at nights. Becoming a parent is a new role in your life and no you dont get to go back to your previous life when you want to, your a parent forever no matter how you choose to feed your baby.
I made the choice with my husband to bf our daughter and have been doing it longer then I first thought I would. Yes I am the only one that can feed her during the night but that doesnt mean that my husband isnt just as hands on with her in other areas. Frankly if your going to get a divorce there is usually more then one issue that would push you to do it so no dont see merit in her arguement

Sal - posted on 02/02/2011

1,816

16

33

not in its self no, but totally devoting your sef to one goal at the exclusion of others can, and at times i feel that bf can be a bit like that. If a baby is poor feeder and a poor sleeper than poor mum can have practically no sleep or peace from the baby for weeks if not months on end, this makes one cranky bitch (i am speaking from experience here ladies) and no matter how helpful and understanding your hubby can be he just can't do it, i know mine had to work, he was on call and done night after night after night, so there was no way he could help me, and even when he was there she only wanted boob, i was lucky that my neighbour would pop over and help with my house work even cook my meals if things were really tough ( i also had a teenager to look after) and i did lash out at him a little but basically i was still in the honeymoon period and delighted at being his wife so it wasn;t too bad, My house was usually clean (thanks ellie) meals cooked, washing done (thanks again ellie) so we got through it, i do know people who aren;t so lucky weeks on end hubby comes home to a house like a bomb site, cooks his own dinner after going to the store to buy the basics and get stroppy with his wife who has done nothing but sit on her but all day feeding the baby, she is totally sleep deprived and cranky snaps his head off its not her fault she has to bf as it best for the baby ans she can't do every thing, hubby says sorry he was just tired and frustrated, they have a quiet dinner in the miricle of what is a sleeping baby, go to bed, reconnect, with each other and bugger me if the baby is awake again.... and it all gets out of control, and even if the lacivest deny it it can cause problem, but so can anything that takes such a huge chunk of your time and energy away from your spouse..

Meghan - posted on 02/01/2011

3,169

33

202

oh...I wasn't aware that breastfeeding a 10 month old is considered embarrassing...must have missed that memo.
My partner DID have a problem with me nurturing our son,,,he got jealous and started to act like a douche-one reason I left him. My kid needs me. Put your big boys pants on. Being a parent means that you make sacrifices and you have to put another human being first. If you don't get that or you disagree, you probably shouldn't have kids-imo

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms