Dressing your kid

Krista - posted on 10/11/2011 ( 155 moms have responded )

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Do you dress your kid "child"-like? Or do you dress them as a mini adult?

My mom was giving me a bit of flack this weekend, saying that I dress my 2-year old in such dull colours and grown-up styles.

I'm just not crazy about a lot of the bright colours and cartoon characters on kids' clothing (especially the cartoon characters).

I prefer to dress him a little more mature, and did so even when he was a baby. The outfit in question that my mom criticized was a heather gray t-shirt, jeans, his black Chucks-type sneakers, and a little gray herringbone newsboy cap. I think he looks so adorable in muted colours and more grown-up styles. When she buys him clothes, she gets him stuff with bright colours, and festooned with trucks, or Tigger, or some other cartoon emblem.

What do you think? Should we dress little kids as little kids? Is it inappropriate to dress them more maturely? (I'm not talking about dressing them provocatively or with adult slogans on their tees...just more grownup-style clothing.)

What do you think looks cuter?

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♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 10/19/2011

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I've never found thongs comfortable myself and my DH doesn't seem to notice my underwear except that it's on.

My older daughter and I both seem to prefer comfy undies in prints. I just wish I could find Hello Kitty ones in my size.

Sylvia - posted on 10/19/2011

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I bought a pair of thong undies once. They were on sale at Superstore, they matched a bra I have that I like, and I thought DH might find them ... intriguing. ;) He did, but I've never worn them for more than 5 minutes because OMG SO UNCOMFORTABLE OMG. Hellooooo perma-wedgie! I can't imagine they'd be comfortable for a kid either.

Come to think of it DD and I wear almost identical undies -- we both like Fruit of the Loom ;)

Janice - posted on 10/19/2011

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This convo just reminds of my cousin's daughter who dances. My cousin bought her a few plain thongs to wear for competition only. Sure enough a month or so later the 12 year old bent over and they realized she was wearing them to school. My cousin and her hubby flipped out. I'm not sure if they started storing them or what but it was pretty funny.
I agree they dont belong on young girls bodies but as for discomfort, I have never found thongs uncomfortable except when pregnant.
Do they really sell thong underwear in the girls section? That is appalling.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 10/18/2011

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That's just what we do best, and I blame adult ADD.

Thanks for the advice Tiffany. I haven't heard of them... or maybe I have, but I never really get to go anywhere that I don't have to worry about panty lines.

Tiffany - posted on 10/18/2011

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This conversation has gone to a totally different place. I am not for thongs for tweens or teens, but if you ever have a need for one (moms) I swear Hanky Panky thongs are comfortable and do not feel like you have a wedgie. I only wear them when I need to not have a pantie line, but I swear they are not your typical thong.

Merry - posted on 10/18/2011

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I just sleep in undies and a shirt while it's warm. When it gets cold I'll put on long underwear. I don't get dressed til I leave too

Stifler's - posted on 10/18/2011

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Yeah I sleep in undies and walk around the house in my dressing gown until I go somewhere.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 10/18/2011

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I brought a few sexy things up here with me when I moved. But I sleep in underpants so I don't even bother. I just get dressed when I wake up anyway because I either walk my 7 year old to school or walk her over to the neighbours to be driven to school

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 10/18/2011

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I went commando the first time I got married. When I got married back in March though for the second time Lilli was almost 3 weeks old and I wore maternity clothes. Both girls were more dressed up than I was.

Merry - posted on 10/18/2011

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I wore no underwear under my wedding dress :) no bra either :) back when I had B cups haha not DD like now full of milk

Stifler's - posted on 10/18/2011

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I wore a thong (we call it a g string) all though high school and at prom. I have no idea how I was ever comfortable. I never wear them now except on my wedding day.

Merry - posted on 10/18/2011

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I would absolutely refuse for my daughter to ever wear a thong! No way- no how- never ever. I think it's disgusting any child has worn thongs.
Honestly I've never even worn one except for one lingerie set that gets taken off quite fast :P
I was in competitive gymnastics for years, regional level. And never was told to wear a thong we wore regular underwear. I.e. Granny panties :)

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 10/18/2011

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I still wouldn't put my child through the discomfort of wearing a thong. It's not the whole sexualization thing that some people may have, it's that they feel like you have a permanent wedgie that you can't get rid of! Why would I make my daughters do that? I'd buythem a drawer full of seamless panties instead. When they're earning money they can buy their own thongs and see how uncomfortable butt floss is.

I have to do a lot of edits on my own posts because sometimes I forget that my 7 month old will one day be going through things my 7 year old is.

Sylvia - posted on 10/18/2011

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The really fancy ballet tights do have those cotton-lined gussets ... ;)

Sherri - posted on 10/18/2011

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Have you guys seen that show Dance moms or something like that coincidentally they just had an episode on about this. Some of the girls were extremely itty bitty were told no pantie lines under any circumstances and then you see the mom's discussing what to do. Most went with thongs for their daughters.

[deleted account]

I danced most of my life, and the 'rule' was no panty-lines. However you went about avoiding panty-lines was your business. I mostly just went without. :p

Sylvia - posted on 10/18/2011

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I confess I find it weird that anybody would make rules about what underwear someone can wear under their uniform. But then, competitive sports were never my thing (let alone, heaven forfend, cheerleading -- did they even have cheerleaders at my high school? I have no idea), so all I can say for sure is that there were no rules about what you could or couldn't wear under your choir, band, or orchestra uniform. The drama teacher did have one underwear rule: you had to wear pit pads. The costume crew was always grateful for this rule -- except of course for whoever had to take them home and wash them after each performance :P



I'm with Meggy in wondering how they would know what kind of panties someone is wearing if they don't show from outside...

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 10/18/2011

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Sherri, I'm just curious how they'd know if the person is wearing the mandated underpants instead of the seamless grannie panties.

Angela - posted on 10/18/2011

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I just asked my ex University cheerleader daughter( she is now a graduate) who has been a cheerleader since grade 6 if they had to wear thongs ever....( she was very competitive and captain varsity in High school) her reply nope...not... never they have built in seamless panties since forever says she. So to require of a thong is a bit strange I think. She competed on national levely btw so I again find that a thong to be uniform is not the norm nearly required uniform is not the norm. Thank goodness!
She dis say some girls wore a slim shaper underwear... but that was not required.

Charlie - posted on 10/18/2011

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Thongs have the worst panty line of all !!

No way a young daughter of mine would be wearing one seamless undies all the way.

Angela - posted on 10/18/2011

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Sorry I like my little girls in panties with flowesr, lady bugs, even Disney and with little bows and undershirts to match.

When in the tween stage again a bow, a bit of lace and cute patterns fine but sexy looks like a thong forget it.

If my girls were mandated to wear them I would only let them wear a very plain one but considering my one daughter was a cheerleader she never had to wear one for middle school or high school in the USA.

After age 14 I say wear the undies you like. But I have a rule no you can not show your underwear ever and no you can't wear pants that go so low you can almost see your crotch.

Same goes for boys

When they pay for their own clothes and move out they can wear what they want...until then it is my rule period.

I want to add I saw thongs for girls as young as age 7 and I really can not see why a 7 year old would need a thong!

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 10/17/2011

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That sucks, I would've hated to compete in cross country (on horseback not running) in a thong! I can't imagine doing gymnastics in one of those. I would've tried to find out if there was something else like the seamless underpants.

Sherri - posted on 10/17/2011

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I don't know Meggy and I don't make the rules however, all I know is what is mandatory in some sports in our area. The only reason I know is I know a few girls that compete and it was recently brought up that they are mandated to wear thongs. 3 are competitive cheerleaders in actually 2 different states and 1 is a dancer/gymnast.

Sylvia - posted on 10/17/2011

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I've always tried to avoid clothes with free advertising on them -- whether it's cartoon characters or the names of stores. If clothes festooned with Dora and Mickey Mouse is what "dressing like a kid" means, then no, DD has never been dressed like a kid :P

That said ... you can't just tell DD what to wear. When she was 2, her favourite outfit was a black turtleneck, black yoga pants, and black socks. Then there was a phase, several years long, when she wouldn't wear pants at all, ever. She thinks striped items go together, even if the stripes go in different directions and are of wildly different colours. She's 9 now and her favourite colour is purple -- I've never seen anyone wear so many different shades of purple at once. The other day she went out in pink polka-dot leggings, white socks, a blue/green/black/white polka-dot top, and pink sandals (and without brushing her hair -- but that was DH's fault :P). She looked adorable, but I'm not sure whether you'd say she was dressed more like a kid or like an adult ... ;)

As I said, I generally dislike using children as billboards. (I don't like to be a billboard either, unless it's for a good cause -- you won't catch me in one of those hoodies with GAP across the front, but I do have an awesome t-shirt with a photo of a nursing baby on the front.) I also really, really dislike the hoochie-mama look. I guess I think kids should dress like kids -- in sensible, comfy, practical clothes -- not like either human billboards or miniature adults. Given the choice of the 2 outfits you describe, I'd definitely pick the one you picked.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 10/17/2011

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Sherri, in many equestrian catologues they sell seamless underpants so that both men and women won't have pantylines in their riding pants and won't have to be uncomfortable wearing a thong. I'd imagine there would be dance stores selling seamless underpants for children who participate in gymnastics or dance.

April - posted on 10/17/2011

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i wouldn't let my daughter wear a thong that young. i wouldn't care if it was mandatory for cheer, dance, or gymnastics. the girls at the gym i worked at just wore regular underwear, but they put hairspray along the edges of their leos.

Sherri - posted on 10/17/2011

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For some it is because they don't want pantie lines showing. I find that is for the middle school kids and up, not so much the younger kids. Because they have the built in panties under the skirts when they are doing flips and such. It also depends if it is for recreation or competition.

April - posted on 10/17/2011

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Are you sure thongs are mandatory for cheerleading? I was a cheerleader. We had short skirts! I can only imagine the crowd at the basketball games if our team wore thongs!! They would go wild!! Guys that don't even like basketball would have become overnight fans! I never heard of thongs for cheerleaders! I am also a gymnastics coach--my students never wore thongs either but I believe that more than cheer!

Sherri - posted on 10/17/2011

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I really like this a lot. They are flowers for crying out loud not breast and it is accentuating nothing in my opinion.



http://www.sophiasstyle.com/sscatalog/pr... Hate hate hate girls stiff that accentuates nonexistent breasts! This is a 2T! No breasts!



@Krista since they do not sell such things at a normal store we aren't even in the same ball park. I know kids as young as 6 that HAVE to wear thongs and yes it is mandatory for gymnastics, dance, & cheerleading. I just do not see thongs as a big deal what so ever.



It is blooming underwear. If they are more comfortable in it, then why the hell not. I have a billion other important fights to fight what underwear they want to wear doesn't even register on the radar as important.

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No heels, but some of those were pretty cute...... the sweater dress would be totally fine w/ some pants of some type. Way too short for nothing underneath, but it just looks like a long shirt. ;)

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 10/17/2011

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I'd pair the sweater dress with leggings or skinny jeans. My 7 year old does own some heels/platforms (Thank Target and Lee's mom) But she only wears them once in a while

Merry - posted on 10/17/2011

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Krista I love little girls in a 'office' style outfit. Not hooch at all. Like scarves, blouses, little jackets, ponchos, black dress pants, just no heels!

[deleted account]

A little of both. But I prefer him in his little man clothes. To me it is cuter then a kid decked out in Spongebob, Spider-Man and Mickey Mouse. I dress my son for the seasons, darker muted tones in the fall and winter and brighter colors in the spring and summer. I prefer graphic tee's versus regular tee's.

I think someone mentioned bib overalls further down in the post. My son get's one pair a year. Although the older he gets the less I like them on him. My husband and son have a matching pair. They did look super cute went we went to apple picking this year. A lot of people said they were both adorable. They get just as many comments when the wear their matching man clothes. Jeans, t-shirt under a flannel or plaid button down.

April - posted on 10/17/2011

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I never liked cartoon characters/disney characters on clothes. I don't know why. I'm just prejudiced against them! I get a lot of Z's clothes at yard sales and definitely gravitate towards solid colors. I like the skater, surfer and rock star look too. My son has only a few things with pictures on them. He loves guitars, so he's got few shirts with guitars on them. He also loves all kinds of trucks. I got him a shirt at a rummage sale for 10 cents that has a picture of every kind of truck you can think of! He loves it! He'll point to each truck and name them for people!

Krista - posted on 10/17/2011

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Sherri, crotchless panties are also just "underwear". Are those appropriate for a pre-teen?

I think there seems to be a real gender divide when it comes to girls' clothes vs. boys' clothes. A lot of the boys' clothes that are "adult" are more "little man" clothes, like cute button-down shirts, sweater-vests, Chucks, newsboy caps, things like that. Unfortunately, a lot of the girls' clothes that are more "adult" are things that are much more sexualized, like low-rise jeans, t-shirts with provocative sayings on them, etc. Is it because, as a society, women's clothing is just automatically more provocative by nature? As a rule, we DO tend to show more skin than men do (look at formalwear, as an example).

I'm wracking my brain trying to think of a little girls' outfit that could be considered "mini-adult", but not hoochie-mama or androgynous. And I'm kind of coming up short. Is it maybe because when it comes to casual wear, we already dress like our daughters and our daughters dress like us, so the line is already blurred beyond recognition?

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 10/17/2011

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I just wouldn't put my daughter in a thong because I wouldn't put myself in a thong. They're too damn uncomfortable. Plus they can get infections from those.

[deleted account]

People do see thongs when coupled with the right low rise jeans. I have seen preteens and teens going around like this. Highly inappropriate.

Sherri - posted on 10/17/2011

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I don't have a problem with thongs. Hell it is underwear who cares no one is going to see it anyways. I don't see it inappropriate for a preteen or teen.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 10/17/2011

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Oh god my ex's wife took her daughter who was 12 at the time for a wax then to Victoria's Secret for a thong and posted about it on myspace. All I could think is 'and you think you're the more appropriate parents for my child'

Abby's pretty tall too (50lbs and 51 inches tall) I buy her skinny jeans because they do look cute and I go a size up on her shirts. I did buy her a tank top that has lace on the straps, but I make her wear it under other shirts.

The concept of dressing children like children is a rather new idea. Until the middle of the 20th Century children were dressed as miniature adults. A lot of parents seem to be going back to that.

Angela - posted on 10/17/2011

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I am very happy they have skinny jeans/pants available , because my Claire is very slim, the regular fit pants wear her and do not look nice.
When my other kids were younger 7-14 age I was mortified when I saw thongs for little girls! Crop tops etc. One of my girls was always tall, so everything was already short on her and I found it ridiculous that I could not find a top that did not show her belly button half the time.

Tiffany - posted on 10/16/2011

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In the modern classic book, "The Hurried Child" David Elkind draws a link between the way we dress children and the way we treat them. We dress them in miniture adult clothes and then treat them as miniture adults (which they aren't). I think it's very interesting and something to be careful of, but having said that I do dress my boys in Baby Gap and Ralph Lauren (polos, sweaters, sweater vests, Oxford shirts, khakis, driver's caps and jogging suits for casual attire, but nothing with team logos). I also put them in rompers, bubbles and bibbed overalls. I like plain solids, stripes, buffalo check and argyle. They are only one so have never watched TV and don't have any favorite characters from books yet either. I hope even when they do they don't feel the need to wear those characters, but if they do I will try to negotiate by reserving characters for pjs and underwear. That's my plan anyway.

Kristi - posted on 10/16/2011

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I think it's about what is appropriate. Bright colors and cartoons can be overstimulating, and as a teacher, I prefer to see kids in soft colors. I don't think cartoon attire is a good idea, because it conjures up talk about nothing but TV and movies. They get enough of that without seeing images printed all over everything they wear and play with. In terms of adult wear... I think that kids should be wearing clothing that reflects that they are children, not adults. That just means that I don't think crop tops and cut out jeans are appropriate for children. I don't think lacy lingerie look wear is appropriate on children either. I have walked into department stores lately, to be very disappointed in the selection for 7-14 age girls. Sassy comments, overly sexy looking cuts, drop jeans for boys and rude language prints are not doing it for me. I like soft, comfortable things that say "I am little."

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