Holly - posted on 12/08/2011 ( 63 moms have responded )
The Duggars were given heartbreaking news on Thursday.
According to People, during a routine check-up where Jim Bob and Michelle were supposed to find out the sex of their 20th child, their doctor was unable to find the baby's heartbeat. Michelle was told that she had miscarried in her second trimester.
"After the appointment, we came back home and told the children," the 45-year-old mother of 19 told the mag. "We had just been talking about baby names last night and they were getting excited about naming a boy or a girl. It has been a real sad disappointment."
Jim Bob also released a statment confirming the tragic news to Access Hollywood , saying, "Earlier today at a routine doctor's appointment, Michelle and I received the sad news that we lost the baby. Michelle is resting comfortably at home with the support of the entire family. We are grateful for all the thoughts and prayers, but ask for privacy during this difficult time."
The Duggar matriarch said they will still name the baby after they find out of it was a boy or a girl and they plan to hold a funeral service.
"I feel like my heart broke telling my children," she continued. "They have all been so excited about this baby and looking forward to April coming around and having a new little one in our arms. That was the most difficult. The Lord is the giver of life and he can choose when that life is ready to go on and be with Him."
This is Michelle's second miscarriage. She previously lost a baby during her second pregnancy, when she was reportedly taking oral birth control. According to the mag, this incident caused the couple to let the number of children they have be "up to God."
In addition to their youngest daughter, Josie, who was born in December 2009, the couple is also parents to Joshua, 23 (who has two children, Mackynzie, 2, and Michael, 4 months, with wife Anna, 23), twins Jana and John-David, 21; Jill, 20; Jessa, 19; Jinger, 17; Joseph, 16; Josiah, 15; Joy-Anna, 14; twins Jedidiah and Jeremiah, 12; Jason, 11; James, 10; Justin, 8; Jackson, 7; Johanna, 6; Jennifer, 4; and Jordyn, 3.
So, I wasn't going to post his because I feel like no matter how many children someone has a miscarriage is hard. Then I read the comments on the story and it's full of people saying "this is a sign for them to stop breeding" and stuff like that.
My question is: For people like the Duggars, who leave the number of children they have "up to God" or whatever term you want to use, would a miscarriage be like God telling them not to have more? What do you think?
I'm really on the fence about this because I feel like how many kids they have is none of my business. They support themselves and their children are well-cared for (even if I don't agree with some of their teachings, I would never say those children are abused or neglected). Who's to say they shouldn't have more if that's what they want? But at the same time, I think they are being environmentall irresposible to bring more people in the world and I think they are being irresponsible to their existing children to go through a pregnancy at this late age (since it puts Michelle's health at risk more too). I'm not on the fence about many things, but this one I just can't seem to choose a "side."