extended breastfeeding

Jen - posted on 03/09/2012 ( 374 moms have responded )

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And i'm talking about going past the age of 3. What are your feelings of say an 8 year old still doing it?

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Mary - posted on 03/13/2012

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I'm not sifting through over 300 posts to see what everyone has to say. TBH, I really don't give a shit, and neither should any of you.



EBF (regardless of how you "define" it) is one of those things that, in the end, is of no concern to anyone other than the parent and child involved. It makes you squeamish to think of a 4 or 5 y/o still nursing? Okay - don't do it.



I see it a sort of on par with those of you who give your kids any type of juice on a daily basis. I personally do not give my 3 y/o juice unless we are eating out. However, I rally could give two craps if any of you give your kid OJ or apple juice every am with breakfast. It's a choice, and since I'm not living in your house eating with you every morning, it really has nothing to do with me. Sure, I may have a different opinion about it, but who the hell cares?



There is no physical or psychological harm done by EBF. There in fact may be some benefits to it - even beyond the age of two. As for moms "not advertising" if they do, in fact, nurse beyond the 2 year mark...my guess is, it's probably less about fear of criticism, and more about the fact that it falls into the "who gives a shit" category of conversation. They no more mention it in casual conversation than I would every time Molly hugged me throughout the day, or listed every fluid she had to drink.

[deleted account]

That depends on how you define a need. Ebf may not be needed nutritionally but many would argue (and rightly so) comfort is a need, would we die without it no but we need it never the less.



Yet another paedophile comment, oh joy, sigh. Yes there are a few moms who would do this to abuse their children, however the vast majority do it because they feel it is right for their child. As already covered in this debate the Health advisory boards (who, aap etc) recommend bf to at least a year but health benefits are seen if bf continues to the third year or further...if it was detrimental to a child in any way they would give a recommended age cut off due to whatever detrimental affect it had, they don't!



As for if a child is old enough to remember, how on earth would you decide this? I have memories from when I was 18 months old, I have friends who can't remember anything from when they were 5 yo, there is no way to tell what will be remembered by a child, unless you have a time machine and can travel into the future!



What would be the issue exactly with someone remembering being bf? Surely it would just mean that instead of seeing breasts as solely sexual objects they would be seen as functional as well. There is a difference between bf and abusive behaviour regardless of the age of the child.

[deleted account]

***MOD NOTICE***



Ok ladies, could we please get back onto the topic of extended breast feeding, if you wish to further discuss the nutritional value of milk, in any form other than breast milk please start a new thread.



Thank you for your co-operation



Toni M

DM mod

Jodi - posted on 03/09/2012

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Actually, MeMe, I think it is more the "Man, I don't know what you're gonna do when they are teens and NO has to be your second word...They put up way bigger fights and you are just gonna have to learn to take things away. Even things that make them happy... Otherwise, you are going risk having some pretty spoiled children." thing that people are responding to.

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Evelyn - posted on 11/28/2012

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Good gracious. That means that there is something wrong with the mom for wanting to do this. By the time a child is eve 2 they are eating solid foods of all sorts, talking and playing. Why does a mother of an 8 year old need to do this?

Sally - posted on 11/27/2012

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Human beings are biologically designed to nurse for 6-8 years. Just because we have the technology to keep them from dying if we stop sooner doesn't make it healthy to do so.

Dove - posted on 11/16/2012

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MODS PLEASE lock this post again. We don't need the ignorance, bashing, nonsense, etc... to start all over again. This post is OLD. Leave it be.

WENDY - posted on 11/16/2012

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good grief cook your kid something to eat already.. nursing an eight year old or even a 3 year old is messed up.. get off your butt and cook the poor kid something .. WOW

Dove - posted on 11/16/2012

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I thought this was locked....



I think someone who has the time and desire to bump up an 8 month old post has a few more issues than anyone that chooses to let their child self wean... You know, cuz if you'd actually READ all 300 and something posts you would know that no one on here actually nurses an 8 year old. It was a question to start a debate.

Vanessa - posted on 11/15/2012

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The level of psychological damage you are actually PLANNING to cause to your child is infuriating beyond belief. Why is DHS/CPS not on these threads like stink on shit? This is so blatantly the female version of the NAMBLA forum--I could not be more disgusted. At 8, there is nothing that could convince any learned human being that this is for the child's good. This is for your own sick pleasure? There are not words in the English language to describe how disgusted and angered I am by your gall to post this.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/13/2012

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******Locking this thread, it has run its course******



~DM MoD Little Miss~

**Jackie** - posted on 03/13/2012

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I told my husband about this thread and he said "what do they think about a 28 year old on the boob?"



Yep, he's a hopeless romantic lol

Mother - posted on 03/13/2012

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Surrrrrrrrrrrrrrre, rub it in my face.....NOT the boobie....the fact you didn't share the chocolate cupcake. LOL

Sally - posted on 03/13/2012

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on that Mary, im 100% behind you. It does seem to be a tad repetitive. I can't imagine that theres much more to say on the the subject except point scoring. I really couldn't give a rats arse if women ebf, thats their choice. I have enjoyed the wide and differing views though, wish id had brought popcorn.lol

Mary - posted on 03/13/2012

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Oh, MeMe - I get that the purpose of this community is for debating. It's just that this thread had devolved into a level of silly pettiness that I felt the need to be a bit of a smartass ;P

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/13/2012

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I guess where it is at for this thread is it was a question asked and a debate formed via the OP. This is where we ALL came in. If we were all to say "It is none of my business", then we may as well be rid of COM, especially the debating community and move on. ;)



I agree Mary. It really is no one's business. However, for the sake of this debate it is. ;)



BTW - I do not give my children juice of any kind until age 5. My son ONLY gets water and milk. The Daycare slipped once and gave him apple juice. I told them absolutely NOT. He does not need any added sugars, thank you... Oh and I would debate on that thread too.. ;)



ETA:

The great thing I find for me with COM and debating (things none of us should give a crap about) is I often learn something, whether it is from the opposing side or my side. I had no idea people actually breastfeed 8,9 and 10 year olds.... So there ya go. It was worth it for me, I learnt something. ;)

**Jackie** - posted on 03/13/2012

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You can't hear me but let me tell you what I just did...I gave a big ole round of applause for the lovely Mary! THANK YOU!



Also, Mother Bacher...lol that is also my definition of bliss.



Someone mentioned something about either newer mothers or my generation (I'm 25) is so quick to check up on parenting books and read stats. UMMM GUILTY!



When my daughter was first born I looked up EVERYTHING. How do you think I found this site? I was panicking over every red spot, bump and mark. One day my mother was over and I was telling her these horror stories I read on WedMD and just googling stuff on babies and she grabbed my lap top and took it with her lol I laughed so hard. I really needed that.

Mother - posted on 03/13/2012

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So true Sally....it is our differences that make this world so wonderful. Absolute conformity is BORING!!

Sally - posted on 03/13/2012

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@ mary ,i totally agree . Its no ones business but it is interesting to see the different views people have about it. The question asked was bound to get a response, debating would be no fun if everyone went, it got nothing to do with me,lol.

Mother - posted on 03/13/2012

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"Pfft... we could all use a little therapy ;)"



Or a lot of therapy!! Shit, lock me up for a few months. Three square meals, medicated sleeps, lots of quality alone time.....BLISS!!

Mother - posted on 03/13/2012

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"but there really should not be anything such as "extended breastfeeding" (well, may be in case of that 8yo...lol). "



And then in that case it really shouldn't be "extended" breastfeeding but EXTREME breast feeding. LOL Just icky..

Sally - posted on 03/13/2012

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yes im aware of all the different stats etc that have been posted by different people. I tend to take a lot with a pinch of salt simple because of the limited number of people that are involved in this surveys, now if the did it with every mother in the country i might feel differently. My reason for saying about stats etc was that the question was ,what are your feelings not how common is it. I stand by what i say , i think a lot more mums do but don't advertise it because of negative feed back. But that only my humble opinion.

Aleks - posted on 03/13/2012

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Besides, the whole notion of "extended breastfeeding" has such negative connotations. Like its unnatural, wrong, or going beyond what is required. (ok, 8yo is a bit much...lol.. even by my standards, but... I am referring to kids who breastfeed and still have majority of their milk teeth, ok? good...lol)

Where it is nothing further from the truth. Anything other than when a child self weened is really "premature weaning"... but there really should not be anything such as "extended breastfeeding" (well, may be in case of that 8yo...lol).



But that is just me and my reasoning... I guess.... Oh well.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/13/2012

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LOL. One thing I cannot stand is when an intelligent person acts stupid. I gave three sites (one being the LLL site) that defines extended breastfeeding. Within those very three sites it depicts what the AAP and the WHO recommend. They still gave the defintion of what extended breastfeeding means.



The fact is a recommendation is NOT a definition. If you want to think it is, go ahead. It is far from factual.



It would be funny if you recommended something to someone and then told them it was the definition. Seriously.



ETA:

It is absolutely humorus for someone to say So true, the last couple generations are OBSESSED with analyzing EVERYTHING. They forget to check with common sense and HAVE to read the latest parenting book. Its ridiculous. When they feel so strongly about vaccines, spanking and the sorts. Of whom have copied numerous sites to fit their own beliefs. Now who is calling the kettle black? LOL



Perhaps people use resources because they do not want to make huge mistakes. Perhaps this is why so many more mother's ARE beginning to take part in extended breastfeeding. Why? Because it is the parenting books that advocate it! DUH...

Mother - posted on 03/13/2012

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So true, the last couple generations are OBSESSED with analyzing EVERYTHING. They forget to check with common sense and HAVE to read the latest parenting book. Its ridiculous. I didn't realize that the rates of breastfeeding had dropped tho. That's sad. Formula is no comparison to breast milk.

Aleks - posted on 03/13/2012

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Actually... extended breastfeeding is not in the "it isn't yet..." category. Its quite the opposite, its in the "it was" category. It was a lot more common than it is now. Infact, I bet that it is falling, worldwide, thanks to the every expanding corporate greed and with it push of formula to everywhere!!! ( Check out the stats for breastfeeding in the Philipines and other developing nations - their rates of breast feeding, let alone extended, is and has fallen dramatically). That is why WHO adopted the strategies it has regarding promotion of breastfeeding and also marketing of formula.

I am sure there was a lot more "extended" breastfeeding, worldwide, going on say 100 or 200 years ago than it is now. I bet that there wasn't even a term "extended" breastfeeding before the western world invented it to talk about anything other than "common" western world practice of premature weaning an infant, or not breastfeeding in the first place.

Mother - posted on 03/13/2012

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A very good point Sally. Although I couldn't BF to 8 years old *shudders*



I see people quoting AAP as a source. Well, the World Health organization recommends to the age of 2 for Breast feeding. So I would think after 2 years of age, if you're still breast feeding, it would be classed as extended breast feeding.

Celeste - posted on 03/13/2012

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Sally: I actually think ebf is more common than a lot of people think. You just don't hear about it because mums don't advertise it. Why would they when so many people are telling their wrong and their child should have been weaned by a certain age.



Yup! I said it earlier, that I think that nursing 2 and beyond is a bit more common than we think. I would never stop because of someone's opinion but I am not going to advertise it either. I remember my mom and sister ganging up on me on Mother's Day when my twins wanted to nurse at 18 months. They told me I was gross, that my boys would get a boob fetish, and all this ridiculous stuff.



Plus, I stopped nursing in public when they were about 18 months old.



So, since I never talked about it and I stopped nursing in public after a certain time, of course people aren't going to know when they were weaned and assume that they had already weaned.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/13/2012

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Sally, they have to do with this debate. Some have said it is common practice to engage in extended breastfeeding. When in reality it is not. It should be though but, it isn't yet...

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/13/2012

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Ma B. That is the minimum RECOMMENDATION to breastfeed. It is NOT the definition of EXTENDED BREASTFEEDING. understand??



Two completely different things.

Sally - posted on 03/13/2012

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I really fail to see what stats,% and articles on ebf really have to do with a mothers choice to ebf. Imo its a personal choice that doesn't harm the child. Id be interested to see how many mums reseached stats etc before deciding to.

Mother - posted on 03/13/2012

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There is no such thing as a minimum? That makes no sense.....especially since you went on, in the same sentence to say "The minimum recommendation for breastfeeding is 1 year,"

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/13/2012

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I posted the definition of extended breastfeeding, it is after age 1... There is no such thing as a minimum when defining something. A day after age 1, is considered extended breastfeeding... The minimum recommendation for breastfeeding is 1 year, not what defines extended breastfeeding.



http://www.llli.org/nb/nbextended.html



http://www.babycenter.ca/baby/breastfeed...



http://www.breastfeeding-mom.com/extende...

Mother - posted on 03/13/2012

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Wow....still at it I see. I always figured extended breast feeding would be after 2. The MINIMUM is a year isn't it?? I could be wrong. My daughter self weaned at 14 months but I would have continued.



No one in my immediate family ever said a word but I do understand the condescending nod....

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/13/2012

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I do get what your point is. I just strongly disagree that you are considering OUR practice as the rule, and the poverty stricken countries as the exception.



No, Jodi, you are not getting my point. It is obvious with your comment above. All I am trying to state is it is not as common as some here have tried to state. For those places where the commonality is high, it is because they do not have the same resources as us.



However, in 1st world Countrie's it is not all that common to go past the age of 1. This is why the AAP strongly urges mother's to breastfeed exclusivley for the first 6 months and to do their best to try and get to 12 months. The WHO strongly urges mother's to breastfeed exclusivley for the first 6 months as well but, to do their best to try and make it to 2 years.



If you look at all the stats you will see that there is a rapid decline from 6months and on. With each 6 month interval, thereafter, declining more and more. Currently though, the stats are increasing. This is great. It shows people are becoming educated on how important breastfeeding really is in so many ways. I hope in the very near future, we see it continue to increase to where it IS very common everwhere.



I completely agree that breastmilk is best. I honestly wish, I could still be breastfeeding my son. I wish nature did not take that away from me but, it did. I believe extended breastfeeding to age 3 (even 4) is one of the best things a mother could do for their child. As long as they are reputable people, not drug addicts. They eat healthy and take care of themselves health wise.

Merry - posted on 03/13/2012

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People look at you like you've grown a third eye if I admit Eric's not weaned.

It's an eyebrow raised, a condescending ooOOHhhh, and a compassionate nod.

It's ridiculous! No I don't offer info, I don't nurse him in public, but if they ask I'm not lying!

So yeah, I bet there's plenty more moms nursing past 2 then we think.

We are just not gluttons for punishment.

Though I gotta say if every nursing mom were to go outside on the same day t the same time and all nurse their babies in public I think the world would get a shocker and we would all feel quite normal.



I would not nurse an 8 yr old.

4 feels like when I'd like him to stop. 3 might be nice too lol. But I can say with some certainty that I'd never go pAst 6.

Sally - posted on 03/13/2012

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agreed sometimes familys can be the most judgmental of all and the loudest with their opinions. Mis-forturely we see bogie men in the most innocent of things these days.

Angela - posted on 03/13/2012

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Not for me. Mine nursed till 13 months and 9 months. I think it becomes something more than nursing, maybe psychological for the child or mom when it becomes an issue of an 8 year old nursing. A little therapy wouldn't hurt.

**Jackie** - posted on 03/13/2012

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Oh gawwwwd. I, personally, didn't ebf but like I always say...whatever works for the mom and baby is good in my book. As long as no one is being harmed, I say go for it.



Did I think it was "Weird" when my cousin breast fed her almost 6 year old? Um, yes....really weird.



Would I ever even dream of saying something? NO WAY



I just continued on with our conversation while it was happening. I followed her lead, if she didn't want to go somewhere else or even talk about it while her son pulled her shirt up and went for her boob then fine. Who am I to judge? I'm not the messiah of mothers.

Stifler's - posted on 03/13/2012

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I'm thinking more along the lines of like their partner, parents, mother in law keep saying things like that kid is too old, why do you need to breastfeed, they don't need it fornutritional value anymore, if you cant say no you'll have problems later, people associate it with peadophilia etc.

Sally - posted on 03/13/2012

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Tell me about , it could you imagine the looks a mum would get if she put a 2/3yr old to her breast in public. Not evryone is strong enough to go against the tide, so they keep it for in doors.

**Jackie** - posted on 03/13/2012

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If a mother weans solely because someone won't shut their mouth about it being "gross"....then the mom should probably grow a backbone...she's only begun.

Stifler's - posted on 03/13/2012

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Exactly Sally and I think a lot woulod be pressured to wean because others think it's 'GROSS' and the kid is too old etc. people aren't exactly shy about their opinions even in real life.

Sally - posted on 03/13/2012

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I actually think ebf is more common than a lot of people think. You just don't hear about it because mums don't advertise it. Why would they when so many people are telling their wrong and their child should have been weaned by a certain age.

Jodi - posted on 03/13/2012

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I do get what your point is. I just strongly disagree that you are considering OUR practice as the rule, and the poverty stricken countries as the exception.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/13/2012

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It most definitely SHOULD be, yes...

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