extended breastfeeding

Jen - posted on 03/09/2012 ( 374 moms have responded )

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And i'm talking about going past the age of 3. What are your feelings of say an 8 year old still doing it?

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I did say that milk isn't necessary, but I, personally, love the stuff. My mom has tried to convince me of it's evils and only drinks soy milk (NASTY stuff), but me.... I'm all good w/ it. I just DO know it's not needed. ;)

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/09/2012

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I was raised on milk, so was everyone I know. They are hardly dropping like flies... just sayin.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/09/2012

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Many kids do remember from the age of 4 and on...

Brittney - posted on 03/09/2012

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I agree with all the listed disadvantages. I however was not breastfed or didn't use a pacifier when I was young. I had horrible ear infections and a few dental problems, Ruby (may daughter) was breastfed for a week and didn't use a pacifier. She can say 100 words (maybe more but I cant write them all down), she has never had an ear infection, no dental problems (so far). I do not think every baby has to have a pacifier.



I remember things from when I was 2 and 3 (mostly how daily life was). I wasn't breastfed, but my parents took plenty from me, I don't remember them doing that. Most people wont.

Mother - posted on 03/09/2012

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Hey Ladies. there was about 3-4 moms that had some really good info on how bad milk is for us.....there is a group that is just for informed moms, you might like it.



http://www.circleofmoms.com/informative-...



Celeste, Teresa, and Laura...I think you were the ones who posted something. If I'm incorrect, i apologize. come visit anyways.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/09/2012

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Ok one last thing before I go to bed.



Like I said I breastfed my daughter until she was 18 months. At 18 months I said no more. She didn't. I did not ween her. She was using the breast a lot less frequently than say, when she was 12 months. However, I decided it was time. She is now almost 14. She does not remember. However, if I had went until she was 4 or 5, you best believe she would remember. She remembers kindergarten, right down to what her teachers name was. She would remember no more boob.



I remember things from when I was 3. Not everything but some things.



So, there is nothing proving it is going to hurt them if you stop by a certain age. Nothing. This includes bottles and dummies.



http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=11...



Disadvantages of using a pacifier

•Increased ear infections - there is a proven link between prolonged soother use and middle ear infections It's thought that sucking on a soother increases the chance of an infection back-tracking from the mouth into the Eustachian tube (the air-filled passage connecting the middle ear with the back of the throat) Limit soother use to settling your baby for sleep only, to avoid such problems

•Link to stomach and other infections - soother use has been associated with a higher risk of symptoms such as vomiting, fever, diarrhea, and colic

•Long-term soother use can lead to dental problems - the Canadian Dental Association discourages the use of soothers or thumb-sucking beyond the early years as both can result in problems as the teeth grow and develop, particularly if your child is still using this as a comfort when their permanent teeth are coming through. However, according to the Canadian Dental Association, a soother is preferable to a thumb at this point.

•Speech problems - using a soother prevents babies from babbling, which is an important step in learning to talk, and discourages toddlers from chatting, which they need to do to develop their language skills

•Using a soother on a daily basis interferes with breastfeeding - there is strong evidence that women who use pacifiers are more likely to wean their babies off the breast earlier than breastfeeding mothers who don't use pacifiers on a daily basis Soother use is linked to breastfeeding exclusively for a shorter amount of time and a lack of milk when the baby is one month old.




http://www.babycenter.ca/baby/dailycare/...



Now tell me it is better. ;)



Night night....

Brittney - posted on 03/09/2012

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I think breastfeeding should continue as long as the mother and babies want to, as for bottles and pacifiers, they lock the mouth in an un-natural position. My daughter didn't have a pacifier and when she sucked her thumb, we took it out of her mouth. If she kept doing it, we put hot sauce on them (which she ended up liking....thus not solving the problem) She was 4 months old when she started to do that. Also the same time where I introduced the sippy cup. Nothing is meant to last forever. Breast milk dries up, bottles gets replaced by cups and everyone moves on.

Jodi - posted on 03/09/2012

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Oh, I realise what the parenting books say....but you can't chop a child's thumb off, and if they are attached to sucking as a comforter, there is less harm in allowing them to keep the pacifier. And there is NO harm to allowing them to continue having one or two bottles or breastfeeds a day. They won't generally do it once they get to school age, most normal developing children will have stopped on their own by then.



Having said that, I made the decision to take bottles and dummies off my daughter, but she was 3 1/2. If I could have breastfed here longer than I did, that's probably when I would have said enough too. My son, on the other hand, gave his up voluntarily when he was 18 months old. Each child is different in their attachment, and I respect that.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/09/2012

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Ok, I will agree with that somewhat. Although, even though it is not often. i do not understand a child of the age of 4 and 5 walking around with a dummy. I do not get it and never will. That onus is on the parent. I am sorry.



It is also recommended to ween off of the bottle around age 1. For the main reason being it is easiest at that age. They have not developed a dependancy to it yet. So, that would include dummy's. It also causes a high number of ear infections.



You can read any parenting book and it will tell you the exact same thing.

Jodi - posted on 03/09/2012

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Oh, I am sure your 2 year old won't remember, and your teen will. But what you are talking about with your teen is a consequence of her behaviour, whereas what you are talking about with regard to removing bottles and dummies and breastfeeding from babies, isn't a consequence of their behaviour, so it really isn't comparable.

Jodi - posted on 03/09/2012

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Amber-"i know WIC recommends that by 1year of age a child should be on cow's milk and not breast feeding any more."



I was on WIC, I breastfed my daughter until 20 months. The women at WIC encouraged me to do so, told me to keep breastfeeding and that giving cow's milk (or any milk) is completely optional. My pediatrician does not reccomend cow's milk until 5 years of age due to a link between the proteins in milk and diabetes. I do allow my children *some* milk, *some* cheese, *some* dairy products, we are proficient at getting calcium from other food sources and take supplemental Vitamin D drops.



As for extended nursing, I'm all for it. 8 seems a bit old for me to personally feel comfortable with, but I'm the one nursing an 8 year old, so I don't *have* to be comfortable with it. I never thought I would nurse past a year with my first, then a year came and it went and it didn't seem weird. I never thought I would nurse two babies (twins), but they passed the one year mark, and while it's interesting to situate them, it's not weird like I thought it would be. I hope to nurse my twins until at least 2 years old, that's my current *comfort* age, but if two years comes and it's not weird for us, I'll keep going. As long as it remains a healthy relationship, not a problem by me.

Jodi - posted on 03/09/2012

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Ah, but see that approximately? The move into the next stage is GRADUAL not immediate. And not everyone graduates at the same age. These stages are not set in concrete and vary for everyone. So a 3 year old will sometimes be still in sensorimotor stage, while others may have PARTIALLY prgressed beyond it, but it isn't an overnight development, it is very gradual.



As others here have said, most children self wean at 4-5, and often before then, have self weaned to the point of just a feed once a day in the evening with mummy before bed. We are not talking about breastfeeding (or bottle feeding) 4 hourly here. Same with the dummy, often at these later ages, they are simply using it as comfort to sleep, not as an all day every day thing. It is a GRADUAL process.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/09/2012

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I do agree with you Jodi, that an attachment between a toddler and teen are different. However, I guarentee my teen is going to remember what was taken away from her a heck of a lot longer than a toddler at the age of 2.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/09/2012

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The first stage of Piaget’s theory lasts from birth to approximately age two and is centered on the infant trying to make sense of the world. During the sensorimotor stage, an infant’s knowledge of the world is limited to their sensory perceptions and motor activities. Behaviors are limited to simple motor responses caused by sensory stimuli. Children utilize skills and abilities they were born with, such as looking, sucking, grasping, and listening, to learn more about the environment.



I was talking about age 2 and up, right?



ETA: Early Representational Thought (18-24 months):



Children begin to develop symbols to represent events or objects in the world in the final sensorimotor substage. During this time, children begin to move towards understanding the world through mental operations rather than purely through actions.

Jodi - posted on 03/09/2012

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But I still say that there is a psychological difference as to how a toddler becomes attached and associates that than a teenager does. I absolutely 100% disagree with you on this one, and you can reword it any way you like, toddlers and teenagers not only have different attachments, the type of attachment they form to these things is, in fact, very different because their brain development is at a very different level. Toddlers are still very much developing at a sensorimotor stage, wheras teens are capable of understanding less concrete and more abstract thinking, and therefore, the attachments they form are managed very differently within themselves. End of story.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/09/2012

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Nope, I said she was on a different age level, thus requiring a different object being taken away. I cannot take a dummy or bottle from her.



I can however, take it from my son. Which as I said, I already have taken 2 away and next week will be the 3rd. It is time, he is older. He does not need 3 bottles a day anymore, even if he thinks he does.

Jodi - posted on 03/09/2012

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Whatever MeMe, you go with that. If your teenager wants to act like a toddler having a bottle taken away, that is, after all, your problem, not mine.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/09/2012

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She is much older, much harder to take things away from without some disruption. No different than taking a dummy away from a toddler. Just different ages, so different attachments.



So, you want a comparison? I took my sons 5 bottles away from him, dropped down to 3 over night. Why? Because he was eating enough of other foods to compensate for the requirement of milk. I stopped formula at exactly 12 months. Why? Because he no longer required it.



ETA: It is only your opinion that taking her makeup is negative reinforcement. It is what was making her take too long, so it is an obvious choice to make. I would be taking away the dummy or bottle for behaviour. The behaviour of "dependancy", that was no longer required.

Jodi - posted on 03/09/2012

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I never said it wasn't an attachment, I said it is different because I am assuming she functions at a cognitive level higher than a toddler. But perhaps I shouldn't assume?

Jodi - posted on 03/09/2012

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Besides, you indicated the removal of the make up as a form of consequence for not getting ready for school. That is a negative reinforcement. Removing bottles and dummies from a toddler is also a different thing in this respect, because you are not doing it as a consequence to any type of behaviour. So again, bad comparison.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/09/2012

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No Jodi it is not different. It is an attachment. Wrong again...

Jodi - posted on 03/09/2012

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It is a different type of attachment, and unless she is at the developmental age of a toddler, then yes, it is totally different.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/09/2012

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Really Jodi? Well I cannot give my daughter a dummy or a bottle, she is too old. I guarentee you that she is as attached to her makeup as you're kids were to there dummy's.



She has acne, she dies if she cannot wear makeup. So, you tell her how different it is.

Jodi - posted on 03/09/2012

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I hardly think removing dummies, bottles or breastfeeding is the same as taking away make up from a teenager. So it really not a good comparison, and nor is it a sign of not being able to say 'no' or spoiled children. That is MY point.

Sherri - posted on 03/09/2012

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I am personally not comfortable with breastfeeding past 1yr so I am really not comfortable with a school age child still breastfeeding or even the idea of it.



I also disagree that cows milk is not healthy for us or our children. As go to most nutritionists and pediatricians and they highly advocate for it.

Vicki - posted on 03/09/2012

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Haven't read through all 8 pages lol, love how this topic always generates so much discussion so quickly!



My boy will be 3 in July and is showing no sign on stopping yet. He usually feeds before and after bed, once during the day (except for when I'm working) and sometimes once at night. Or when he falls over badly, is very stressed by something, or the time he was sick. I rarely feed in public anymore but did the other day when he fell and hit his forehead on a stone step. I figured the people I was with would prefer a boobing toddler to a screaming toddler.



He drinks cows milk as well. We don't really drink milk, have it for cooking etc, but he grabbed it out of the fridge and loves it. Usually has a cup or so a day.



As for feeding at age 8? I can't see myself doing it but each to their own. I'm guessing we'll be negotiating over the next year or so about cutting down to just before and after bed. Probably his waking up feed will be the last to go and I wouldn't care if he had that until age 5ish. Who knows? He may self wean if I get pregnant. I don't like to put limits and dates on these things.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/09/2012

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Ania Schietzelt

I said that they do not need whole milks (including breastmilk) by the age of two. I didn't say it had to be any milk, thereafter.



My son weaned without any drama at 2 years old. I think that as long it is normal for a mom and the child it is fine and it is not anyone's business. A lot of moms who did not breastfeed or breast fed for a very short time do not realize the benefits of breasteeding and don't understand the normal course of EXCLUSIVE breastfeeding.

So you breastfed for 6 months longer than me are you saying you understand it better than say, someone like myself?





Jodi

Actually, MeMe, I think it is more the "Man, I don't know what you're gonna do when they are teens and NO has to be your second word...They put up way bigger fights and you are just gonna have to learn to take things away. Even things that make them happy... Otherwise, you are going risk having some pretty spoiled children." thing that people are responding to.



I was responding to Emma, already said this. She said some kids love their dummy's and bottles after the age of two. Yep and my daughter lovers her makeup. I still take it away. All I was saying is that if you let your kids have something because they LOVE it, is not always a good thing. No kid needs a dummy after the age of 2, they don't really need it after the age of 1. Just like they recommend weening them from the bottle at age 1. I also said, I was at an appt with my sons ENT. They specifically said dummy's and bottles cause high prone ear infections.



Emma's comment implicated that if they love what they have, regardless of what it is, you should let them... I was responding justifiably.

Mother - posted on 03/09/2012

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I've seen that clip before. It disturbed me then and it still disturbs me. That clip went along with the woman who bragged that she was breastfeeding her 9-10 y/o son and he had an erection. she went into great detail about how he got rid of the erection.....I was disgusted.

Ania - posted on 03/09/2012

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Jen I think you are going to far with pedophiliac fantasy theory... Do you have any psychiatric training to state that? It is a very offensive statement

[deleted account]

Amber: As any of the other moms will tell you, I'm not a big fan of extended BF; however, I completely disagree with your statement about kids being on cow's milk. Cow's milk is the perfect food for baby cows -- not little humans. Humans have no need to drink any milk other than human breastmilk. In fact, there are actually studies linking cow's milk to increased cancer rates, increased heart disease rates, and a whole host of other health issues.

[deleted account]

It's scary. The 8 YO who is still nursing at one point in the video is stuffing apples into her shirt, pretending to have breasts, and then remarks that when she has breasts, she will be able to suck on her own breasts and BF all day long. That sounds like a bit of an unhealthy fixation to me.

[deleted account]

I think this family is just strange. Maybe I'm an exception here, but how many of you breastfeed your husbands? Because the mom says in the video clip that "that's normal for breastfeeding families" to have the baby on one breast and the husband on the other. Huh?

Amber - posted on 03/09/2012

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in all seriousness after the age of 1 you can still give the child breast milk just put it in a bottle or sippy cup i just don't see why you would continue breast feeding them truthfully. it is easier on the mom once the child starts cutting teeth. but as far as going past age 3 with the breast milk. in truth after age 3 at the latest the child should be getting cow's milk. i know WIC recommends that by 1year of age a child should be on cow's milk and not breast feeding any more. i think that is debatable up to 2 years of age. at 8 there is no question that child should not be breast feeding that is a bit ridiculous!! when that child was 4 they should be drinking cow's milk. seriously!!

Ania - posted on 03/09/2012

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I think a 8 year old is a very rare thing. They usually wean at 3-4. My son weaned without any drama at 2 years old. I think that as long it is normal for a mom and the child it is fine and it is not anyone's business. A lot of moms who did not breastfeed or breast fed for a very short time do not realize the benefits of breasteeding and don't understand the normal course of EXCLUSIVE breastfeeding. breast milk is beneficial at any age. It alwasy provides antibodies, stemcells and vitamins it does not go bad because child grows and gets older. MeMe - Moi I don't know where you got information that children need cow milk at the age of two. Breast milk is actually much more nutritious at 2 than cow's milk and easy to absor

Mother - posted on 03/09/2012

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My daughter doesn't drink milk....some chocolate milk. The only milk we usually use is a little bit in my tea and on cereal....don't have that much either. Milk is horrible for us....the milk alternatives are awesome. So any lactose intolerant people because we aren't meant to drink it.



We never used a dummy. She never used a bottle long. It was used in transition when she weaned. I think they give it up when they are ready.

Jodi - posted on 03/09/2012

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Actually, MeMe, I think it is more the "Man, I don't know what you're gonna do when they are teens and NO has to be your second word...They put up way bigger fights and you are just gonna have to learn to take things away. Even things that make them happy... Otherwise, you are going risk having some pretty spoiled children." thing that people are responding to.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/09/2012

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Ah OK - Sally.



Not the way it was perceived and still is not. It says to me that someone, such as myself, that feels once they are going to school they should be off the boob, is judging. ;) I am not judging, it is my opinion. Simple as that...

Sally - posted on 03/09/2012

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@ meme ,if you had read my post,you would have seen that i didn't think it was right after 3/4. i was saying i didn't understand it and i didn't know why i felt that way and if it worked for the family,did no damage, who is anyone to judge. I never suggested that people where saying it was wrong but people are judging by their standards, that can not be helped,even in a debate. I was suggesting that we all have our own ways off doing things. I would also like to point out that i am just about intelligent enough to understand what a debate is

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/09/2012

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Meh, my kids had dummies and bottles past age 2. They're not fucked up. They're not spoiled either. They get told *no* plenty, I just choose my battles. Just sayin'.



Edited to add: Their teeth are fine too.




I said it "can" cause problems. It has been proven Jodi. I was just at the ENT for my son and the first question they asked me is "Does he take a soother?" I said "No, never has, why?" They proceeded to tell me that children that take a soother are much more likely to have ear problems.



It is also proven that those that have extended bottle feeding and/or soother's it can cause (inhibit was from me not finishing my first thought) poor dental. This is also true with those that suck their thumbs.



Anyhow, I was just showing that I really don't have a strong stance on extended breastfeeding. It is a more personal method. I would not do it past age 2. However, that does not mean someone else wouldn't, which is obvious in this thread.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/09/2012

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Teresa, I was not talking about extended breastfeeding. I was responding to Emma in regards But other kid REALLY like their dummy or bottle it's a bit harder than just taking it away sometimes.



I have already said, if you are happy with your extended breastfeeding, then go for it... ;)

Sally - posted on 03/09/2012

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@ Laura>3>3>3 , I agree i don't understand , having never known it.I think its like a lot of child raring things,who knows the child best,the people who follow their gut, their mummy & daddy. you have to do right for your child and like toilet training etc ,you sense when the times right . As i said i don't know or can explain why i find it wrong. I find mums that push their child to school at 4.6 in a buggy with a dummy in their mouths wrong and say it's a comfort ,yes its different cos breast milk is good but for me I really can't explain why i find it wrong for an 8 year old to be on the boob. It maybe the sexual element because their 8 plus. I think as i have said i'm a product of my upbringing. That doesn't mean that i think people who do are bad or abusive in anyway , it means i don't understand the need at that age

Jodi - posted on 03/09/2012

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Meh, my kids had dummies and bottles past age 2. They're not fucked up. They're not spoiled either. They get told *no* plenty, I just choose my battles. Just sayin'.



Edited to add: Their teeth are fine too.

[deleted account]

Actually, I say 'No' quite a bit, spoil-sport that I am. Even to boobie-requests at times. Just don't see the need to take it away altogether. And yes, I'm sure kids are just fine being weaned earlier, but if you feel this is something that you can give to your kid, why shouldn't you? I kind of see it as a freely given present. No spoilt kid here.

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