Extravagant/Expensive Birthday

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 10/02/2010 ( 66 moms have responded )

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Every year is special for your child…

But there are the milestone birthdays where you “Go all out” like becoming a teen (13), turning 16…ect...and each culture has there own millstone of celebration…



Turning one is a first and very important as well….



my niece just turned one a few weeks ago…

Her mother rented out the banquet hall at a Marriott on the waterfront (Seattle)

Had food catered, a magician for the kids, a photo booth with professional photographer, a open bar, and a guy walking around and making animal balloons for the kids, 400$ cake…ones you see on cake boss (the TV show)…not to mention her outfit alone was 200+$ she had on Dior shoes…she had close to a 10grand first b-day



I personally thought it was a bit much…but its not my money or child….I told my mom about it and she looked at me and said “you better not do all that, its a waste of money, he (my son) wont remember,” and she gave me the “serious” mom look

(we have the money to do that as well, that’s why she said it)



How far do go and what expense do u spare for your Childs first b-day

What b-days will you go all out for your child….and of course everyone’s definition of “doing it big” is different.



What are your honest thoughts…

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[deleted account]

Wow, who is she trying to impress?! You know, that's actually more than my wedding cost! Wow, there's a phrase I've heard that fits this situation... "More money than brains".



I thought we spent a lot on our eldest's first birthday, but that was only about $200! If I had the money, I still wouldn't spend it on some stupid party that will be gone in a few hours. I would have a nice party with family and friends, and then put the other $9,800 into a high interest savings account to pay for his schooling, or if he chooses not to go to university it could be the deposit on a house, buy a car, trip overseas, etc. Can you imagine how much $10k would be in 18 years of gaining interest?!



IMO, this woman is just setting herself up for disaster as her kids get older. If she continues with these over the top parties just to get presents, her kids will be just as materialistic and immature with money. This is why kids these days tend to not understand the value of money and feel entitled to anything they desire, regardless of cost. How much more would the kid appreciate having a big bank roll when he's going to college? How much better would his college life be if it was totally paid for?



I'm even teaching our kids about being generous and charitable. Last Christmas was the first time we did it, but it will continue from now on. I took the boys toy shopping before Christmas and they picked out a toy. Well, my eldest (who was nearly 3 at the time) did. I told him he was to pick out a toy he liked so that he could give it to a boy who wasn't going to get any presents for Christmas. He chose something, we wrapped it and put it under the Kmart toy tree. I explained to my son that not all parents are able to buy their kids toys because they need the money for food and clothes, and since we have lots of toys we should be thankful and generous to those who don't have as much as we do. He was very excited at the thought of some boy being happy and getting a new toy and said that he liked being Santa. THAT was a far better experience for me (and my son) than any party I could ever conceive of throwing... and it only cost $30.



*edit: My husband started planning for our sons' 18th when they were born. He bought a limited edition bottle of Bundaberg Rum when each boy was born. It has the bottled year on the front. These bottles are packed away so that they can be given to the boys when they turn 18. We will have a party (probably at the local pub), but that bottle will be the present they get from dad.

C. - posted on 10/03/2010

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@Kelly, by George, I'm not trying to argue with you b/c Lord knows how that will turn out.. But please explain how $4k is thrifty with a birthday party that they won't even remember????





Wow, all we have done is a picnic birthday party for my son's 1st B-day and Chuch E. Cheese for his 2nd. We spent around $250 for his 2nd birthday, INCLUDING presents and around $150 (also including presents) for the picnic party. I think spoiling children by spending thousands and thousands of dollars on a birthday party is WAY over the top. No wonder some kids nowadays feel entitled to extravagant birthday parties.

Becky - posted on 10/02/2010

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Oh, and maybe it's just me, but I find the idea of an open bar at a one year old's birthday somewhat repulsive.

Jessica - posted on 10/02/2010

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I'm proud to say I spent a mere £50 on my sons first birthday, and that was mostly petrol money. It's about having fun and making a memory, not about flashing your cash for the world to see.

[deleted account]

I agree. I couldn't live away from my family. To give you an idea about how big my husband's side of the family is, we are having a birthday party for his grandmother this week. 200 people are expected. That's FAMILY. The woman had 12 kids. She has 60+ grandkids. Lord knows how many great-grandkids and at least 2 great greats. Add in all the spouses and you have a 200 person birthday bash. And the thing is, we're all close. Ridiculously close. Most live in this very town! The others live in surrounding areas. A few live out of state, but for work reasons. EVERY single one of her kids (except 2 that have passed) and EVERY single one of her grandkids (except 1 that has passed) will be at the party Saturday. Even those from out of state have either flown in, or are driving in. I realize this thread is about children's parties. But I just wanted to prove that a "small" family party is very relative (no pun intended) depending on the family!

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[deleted account]

Sherri, you and I are at the opposite ends of the spectrum on this one! Not good nor bad, it's just the cards we've been dealt. In all actuality, I should have had several older siblings, but my mother kept miscarrying or birthing stillborns. My parents married in '57 and I didn't come along until '69... so can you imagine how many kids she could have popped out in that time?! lol

I think it's nice to hear about close knit families, but at 40 (nearly 41) I couldn't really be a part of one. Especially since I've been pretty much on my own since age 16. Well, unless I got on well with them I guess. I have always had a couple close friends who were like my family and I preferred it because I could choose my family rather than have them thrust upon me. In my husband's case, he gets on with some of his family and only just tolerates the others. I suppose you could say that we are more like the lone wolf type.

200+ people is like going to a night club! Happy birthday to your husband's nanna!

Charlie - posted on 10/08/2010

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We had 20+ people at Cooper 1'st / Jamies 30th family and friends , i LOVE living near my family .

My sister lives literally accross the road and my mum and step dad live a 15 minute walk away and my dad lives a 15 minute walk away , my nanna and my 3 uncle and aunties live close too as well as my cousins LOL .

Family is super important to me , even at my 21'st birthday i had 50+ people come from all around the country and quiet a few family members flew in from overseas !

[deleted account]

LOL, I don't think we even spent $10k on our wedding!

My daughter will be 1 in a couple of weeks. We're having a party at our house for family and friends but mostly its for us (my husband and I) to celebrate surviving the first year! I'm making the cake and the only thing I've 'splashed out' on is a few helium balloons which will double as decorations and things for the kids to play with.

We're cheap, so I would NEVER pay that much for a party. But in saying that, I hardly ever had birthday parties as a kid (my birthday is New Years Eve and we were nearly always away on holiday at my grandmothers) so I have a bit of a thing about birthdays now. So I'll probably always throw a party for my kids. But cheap ones. LOL

[deleted account]

My son turns 1 in November and we are just having family tea with Logan, my husband and I, my mam, sister and grandparents. My mam is making his cake - a giant cupcake with blue glitter on. I see no point in spending loads on a 1st birthday party...it's a waste of money, and they're not going to remember it! I'd rather wait until he was 3 and actually had nursery friends to invite and he could actually appreciate.

Some people have more money than sense!!!

Stifler's - posted on 10/07/2010

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We moved for work reasons. We only ever had immediate family and my dad's family was like that and so was my mum's.

Sherri - posted on 10/07/2010

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That isn't extended family that is immediate family. We both have large families, I am 1 of 4, my husband is 1 of 3. So our family of 5 and then add my 3 siblings, there spouses and there 5 kids combines is already 16 people, my parents is another 2, my husbands 2 siblings, niece and dad is 22 people and that is not even the extended family which usually consists of my cousin, her daughter (my god daughter) and my aunt which is a grand total of 25 and that is before our closest friends typically every birthday has 30-40people and that is the bare minimum we can get away with inviting. We are all such a close knit family that if they weren't invited they would be absolutely crushed!! We celebrate every single persons birthday adult or child and all at least have the family there. We get together every couple of weeks at my parents house for cookouts during the summer so all the cousins can grow up together and play and we can hang with our siblings etc.

I can't even imagine having virtually no family or spending time with them on a consistent basis. I couldn't survive that way. None of our family will move because they all feel the same way. I will never move simply because I will never leave my family. We have moved around the state but never more than 45mins away from any of them at any given time.

[deleted account]

Wow! 20+ people?! That's not a small family do, but it is a big party! Well, in my book anyway. Having all that family in your pocket seems really strange to me, and finding myself in that kind of situation would also be a little difficult. Too many people!



A small family affair to me is parents and kids.... so my husband, me and our 2 boys. Well, we've always had our neighbours over too because we're really close to them and they are our kids' guardians.



My family only consisted of my parents and I, because my father was in the military so extended family was always really far away. Either a different country or a different state. Even after he retired, we moved to a small town 2 states away from his brother. I've married into a bigger family though and I have had a hard time going to the big family events because I start to feel claustrophobic. When my husband and I got married we had 40 people there. None were my family (since my parents are dead and other relatives live in other countries), 3 were friends of mine and a grand total of 8 weren't related to my husband. Both my husband and I had wished we would have eloped. :-)



We like our big, open spaces and no one in our pockets having to know the colour of our knickers. :-)

Tah - posted on 10/06/2010

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to be honest if 2 of my sisters and my brother hadn't moved to va first..i would not be here, i am glad i did because i met my husband here so i think it is a reason i came, but we are so close. my husband is from NC so his family is close they are about 4 hours away also. As far as in state, the most i have to drive is maybe 15 minutes if i am driving slowly to get to my brother, nephews, or sister. The closet is literally two minutes away. If we are going somewhere i tell her im leaving and before she gets to the door i am there..lol...i love being close and the cousins growing up together, it has always been this way. One aunt herself had 10 children so we are huge and close and i know people have different backgrounds but when they aren't like that, it's strange to me.

Sherri - posted on 10/06/2010

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Ya I will NEVER be moving away from my family. My husband and I have such close bonds with our families we could never imagine it any other way. We are no more than 45mins from any given family member in any direction.

Stifler's - posted on 10/06/2010

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We never invited all our family to birthdays lol my parents are like me and my partner, moved away from their parents and have no family in the same town. Mum always just made us a cake and roast dinner and desert and we sang happy birthday if we didn't have a party.

[deleted account]

Haha, Tah, sounds like my family! For my daughter's 3rd (not til May) I thought about just inviting family, since I'll have a newborn at that time. But by the time I've invited all the CLOSE family over, I'd have a house full of about 30 people (our siblings and their families, our parents, our grandparents, and a random aunt or two and their families). That's still probably what we'll do. I can't see NOT inviting these precious people over to celebrate my daughter's birthday. They'd be just as disappointed as me and my daughter. But instead of BBQ, I'll order out for pizza.

Sherri - posted on 10/06/2010

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See my idea of a party is a bbq or dinner with family? We also have a large family so it ends of being 20+ people. I don't get how that isn't a party? Food, cake, ice cream and people equals a party in my book.

Tah - posted on 10/06/2010

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@sherri, with a family as big as ours, a birthday party with just family is over 20 people, 7 children, 14 grandchildren, add spouses and if any cousins drop in...so alot of our parties have been huge bar-b-ques in the park with pics, laughs, food, and memories. That works for us, so when one of the children wants to do something different we do it, but the family dinner/bar-b-que depending on the season, is a staple. Even when we didnt have a lot of money we had a cake and dinner when we were growing up. My parents didnt always have hundreds or thousands of dollars to give everybody a big blinging bash where a car pulled up and we ran around yelling like little snots.

One year i got a perm for my birthday, of course a cake and dinner as well. I had long thick hair and my mom would always do it herself since she was a hair dresser and i was dying for a perm like my friends even though i didnt need one. My mom was afraid it would mess the grade of my hair up. Well money was tight, so my mom sat me down in the kitchen and pulled a perm put of the bag and told me i could get a perm for my b-day and it was better than anything i could imagine and i still remember that all these years later. It seems silly to some, but i really appreciate it because it was something i wanted, and i had the hairstyle i wanted to flaunt for my b-day and she gave all my friends hot dogs and cake because they were all outside waiting on me to come back out so she said let them in, they came in ate and sang to me and it was worth way more than $10,000 to me....

Sherri - posted on 10/06/2010

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To me a small family affair is still a party? No? I think that is where the confusion on my part is coming from.

[deleted account]

Not everyone in the US has a party every birthday. I'm an only child, grew up in the US and didn't have a party every year. If I chose to have one I usually did, but there were times when it was just my best friend sleeping over.

I suppose it would depend on the level of party as to whether it would be feasible to do every year or not, especially if you have more than one child. A small family affair would be okay, which is what we've done for our boys every year. But they are only 3 1/2 and 22 months.

Desiree, I think we may have the same problem with our youngest. His birthday is 5 December and that's close to the summer school holidays. He's not in school yet, but I've wondered what we should do if we run into the summer holiday problem. Thank you for the idea!! I'd only have to move it a couple weeks forward into November... don't know what I hadn't thought of that.

Emma, Yeah I'd forgotten about the mines! Don't really know how since it's a constant topic of conversation around our dinner table. My husband is dying to go to the mines. It would make our life easier in a few ways, starting with I wouldn't have to listen to him whinge anymore.

Tau, we have the same problem. 5 Dec (youngest), 10 Dec (mine), 1 Feb (husband) and 7 Feb (eldest)... and Christmas in the middle! Too much money spent on one birthday means the rest of us would be getting cookies too!

Sherri - posted on 10/06/2010

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That is so sad why would you not celebrate every single year of there lives? Here in the US you have a party every single year so I have 3 kids and we have celebrated every single birthday with a party.

Desiree - posted on 10/06/2010

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Before we had children we planned that only mile stone birthdays would be parties.1, 5, 7, 10, 13, 16, 18 and then 21 then they were on thier own for partties. My next one is a 13th for my daughter next year. she has already started to plan but there is no way I will spend and enormous amount of money on it. She has decided on a Mad Hatters Tea Party hence the planning a year in advance. Besides the fact that this bithday happens in South Africa where it may just change to a Braai (Barbeque) and swimming in the pool. My daugther Birthday is on the 30th December so we always have a party end November because in December in when most South African take thier break so there is no one around. We will see.

[deleted account]

This month (the 17th) will be our son's 3rd birthday. Both his first and second birthdays were pretty much alike. A simple affair (his first was at our home) with family and friends. His second was at a park, but again, just family and friends. No big huge fuss, just lots of messy cake shots and finger food that we made ourselves. It will be the same this year and probably every year. And not because we don't see that day as special, because we do. But we are the type of people who believe that money and making a big show out of everything just wouldn't define who we are at all. I think even if we HAD the money to go all out and get extravagant....we'd still have the party in our back yard with some dollar store balloons, a cake from Wal Mart (Thomas of course :) and those we love the most around us. You can't buy that with all the money in the world.

Tah - posted on 10/04/2010

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being able to afford it is not the point, why do all of that for a 1 year old, No they won't remember. I went way out for my oldest first birthday since his was on xmas and spent way too much on it. He doesn't remember and the pics are still at my moms house in philly, My daughter has had a sesame street party, a bowling party, a hannah montana party with pinatas and all types of games.



This year when she turns 9 we will do a movie and slumber party for her, her 9 year old cousin and 3 friends, make-overs and all that fun girly stuff. Her bday is Oct 31. My oldest will get to pick 3 friends and go to a movie at the tavern that lets you order food while sitting in these big plush seats while watching the movie since he is getting older and doesnt want a party for his 14th. That is on xmas so of course he will have a big family dinner with cake and that is before he goes to philly for his visit with that side of the gene pool.



My 3 year old may have a huge 4th bday party, just because my husband wants to his bday is dec 29th and did i mention that mine is nov 21 and my husband's is nov 17th, our b'days come so fast if we spend 10,000 on anybody, somebody is gonna have a cookie and a candle. Besides it being irresponsible...but yes 1, 13,18,21,30..big deals...i agree with the other ladies, it's about memory making, not look at me look at me, and how much money i can spend....

Stifler's - posted on 10/04/2010

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Emerald is full of rich people in mining lol so the buying your kids a car is like buying your kids a $30000 car hahaha. Most people where I came from in Bundy got a $2000 car or something until they could buy their own good car. But I guess people still just have BBQs with BYO alcohol and passing out in the yard. I agree with your husbands idea of a good party hahaha!

[deleted account]

Sherri, kids can't get their driving licence at 16 in Australia. Most get it between 18-20. I totally know what you mean, I don't intend on buying my kids a car either, but I started a savings account for each when they were born, so that should help them get a decent one. Cars here are a bit like buying a house, very expensive.



Although, I would still rather buy them a car for their 18th than to spend the cash on an OTT party.



Emma, I totally agree. It is about family/friends and having a good time. Aussies would rather have a barbie and heaps of piss than having to get dressed up! LOL I see you're in Emerald, so I imagine it's even more like that up there than in the big smoke.



Another thing that's different is a lot of parties here are BYO, which cuts down on the drinks bill.



*edit: BTW, my husband is the biggest social butterfly I know and loves parties. His idea of a great party is a huge barbie, heaps of drinks and friends all sitting around the fire pit... in our backyard. His 30th is in Feb and he's already starting to organise for a pig on a spit and a huge boys' night piss up complete with tent and swags. There will be about 40 people attending and all passing out in our backyard.

Sherri - posted on 10/04/2010

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Ya my kids will be working and buying there own first cars. I don't believe in handing over a car to them just because they got there license at 16yrs old. Nope they can get a job and buy it themselves. They will have far more respect for it that way.

Stifler's - posted on 10/04/2010

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Donna I think Australians are good that way. I mean, a car is a great present. Most people I know got bought their first car and encourage birthdays to be about spending it with friends not just "me me me look at me i'm having a huge party" :)

[deleted account]

LOL Loureen, that is too funny! There's no way I'm telling Dale about that. He'd go get a slab, but it wouldn't make it passed the 18th October! Why is it our convos always seem to gravitate toward alcohol? LOL Piss heads! (funny thing, I don't really drink)

@Sherri, no I am Australian. However, I was American so I understand the 21 year old drinking age. Incidentally, it's not 21 in the UK either. They have actually been considering raising the drinking age in Australia to curb binge drinking, but kids do not get a driver's licence at 16 either (it's usually about 18) and I think that is the actual problem (get to drink and a licence at the same time!). But regardless of drinking age, the thought would have remained the same and Dale would hold it until 21.

@Emma - You're so right about people not having huge parties. I could see where parents might have an open bar at an 18th and potentially have a couple thousand dollar tab, but that's about it. The biggest birthday party I've ever been to was an 18th and it cost the parents $15k... but it was STILL at the local pub. The money went for an open bar, and her present (a car!). And the girl was still on her L's! (learner's permit)

Charlie - posted on 10/04/2010

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LOL Donna my SO bought a case of Coopers vintage for our son Cooper as it is a beer that can be aged like wine ready for his 18 th!

Stifler's - posted on 10/04/2010

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In Australia it's 18. 18ths and 21st are really big here but not a lot of people have OTT parties for their little kids here usually just friends and cake and fun. Usually 18ths are just celebrations of being legal and I have no idea why 21st are still so huge (the drinking age used to be 21) but they are even though I was pregnant for my 21st so we just went to an expensive restaurant with close friends.

[deleted account]

By the way, and this is morbid, the First Birthday in my culture is very big for the parents, because it signifies that the child has survived--the risk of death drops dramatically after one year. We don't think about that any more but that used to really be a great fear. They are kind of celebrating their success at keeping the child alive, which is why many First Birthday parties are more catered towards the parents than the kid, well, that and the fact that the kid won't remember. I think most of us do smaller first birthdays now because the fear of death is so far removed now b/c of medical knowledge, so we take the survival of the child a little more for granted. Not that we are not grateful and relieved, but death is not constantly looming, you know?

Becky - posted on 10/04/2010

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Well, I wasn't trying to say we do exactly the same thing for their birthdays - we have the same situation, one is in Sept, when the weather is nice and we can do it outside, the other is on Valentine's Day, when the weather is crappy. What I meant was, if we spend huge amounts of money - get it catered, hire entertainment, etc, for one, then to be fair, we'd need to do the same for the other. Maybe not for the first, because they don't remember anyways (which is why I'd never do that!). But if I were to throw a huge, all out bash for Cole's 16th birthday and then do a cookout in the backyard with cake, ice-cream and no entertainment for Zach's, I can see there being some serious hurt feelings!

[deleted account]

That's a good question Sharon. In my culture, they believe that at 6 a child begins for "form himself". Like, from infanthood to age 5, it is primarily the parents and elders who are responsible for forming "who the child will be" then at age 6, the child takes on more responsibility and begins making his own choices about what kind of person he will be. Not sure if that make sense or not, it's not like they try to form a child into this specific person or anything, but we teach them morals and such, then at 6, they *hopefully* draw upon those moral codes and make their own decisions about moral situations.



It is pretty much folklore, I guess, I never knew it wasn't common until I married my husband, and still, I guess I just thought his family was the odd one. They do consider 16 a big birthday, they give the child a car, but I can tell you right now, if I buy my kid a car for his birthday, I highly doubt he'll get a big party too.

Sherri - posted on 10/04/2010

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Not true Becky I also have two boys 18mo's apart but there birthdays are so different one is in the summer so we usually have family/friend cookouts. Where my oldest is in the winter so we always have to go somewhere etc and he always gets 2 birthdays one with friends and one with family. Just because of space constraints.

If I had the money I wouldn't have a problem throwing over the top bashes but I don't so I need to be more conservative. We just spent about $650 on my 12yr olds b-day party but not every birthday is huge depends on our funds when there birthdays come around especially with 3 kids.



If I was going to go over the top for a birthday party it would be the 1st birthday also. I find 1st birthdays to be the most important out of any that we have ever had for my kids. They are 13, 12 and 4yrs old. So 1st birthdays have always been the largest.

Becky - posted on 10/03/2010

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See, here's the thing for me. I have 2 kids only 18 months apart. So, whatever we do for one, we have to do equally for the other. So if I throw a big, extravagant, expensive birthday bash for the oldest's first, or 6th or 16th, or whatever, 18 months later, I have to do it all over again! So, while maybe I could scrimp and save to throw one huge bash; two in under 2 years... I don't think so! So we just don't do the whole over the top thing. I guess it's all well and good if you only have one child, but when you have more than one, unless you're rich, I don't see it being a wise use of money!

Sharon - posted on 10/03/2010

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I understand that is a big deal to some people, I'm just curious why.

Here, 5 is a big deal - officially leaving toddlerhood and turning Kindergarten age.

13 - first real TEEN b-day

16 - hello new driver

18 - legally an adult

21 - legally able to drink.

oh and 15 for the hispanic families for girls - Quinceañeras

[deleted account]

6TH birthday is big one for some families..we have a lovely family on our street and the threw an amazing party at there house..loads and loads of people came all with gifts and food to add to all the family had made..i was shocked to hear it was all for a 6th bday..its lovely i dont think a child doesnt deserve it..but its different to what many do..it was like what we do for a 21st bday not a 6th.I was raging i was invited but i was pregnant and sick that day..the food looked out of this world.lol :-) the whole street was invited and the had 2 huge bouncy castles for the kids, music entertainment and dance floor...Really was amazing to see the effort for a child's 6th bday..i wonder now about when shes 21 and her wedding day,what those celebrations will be like..lol.

Sharon - posted on 10/03/2010

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kelly - i'm curious what makes 6yrs such a big deal?

Why won't he have any more important birthdays? 13, 16 and 18 are fairly big deals to us?

[deleted account]

"the 6th birthday is pretty big and we are going to spend a good bit more. We are going to Disney World "

We're going to Disney World in March, and I'm just starting the planning now. My son will turn 6 in Feb. We have a nice budget set up, so I hope you don't mind if I PM you to pick your brain about Disney.

[deleted account]

Oh, I didn't mean to imply that $4k was thrifty, I mean, it is compared to $10k, but the first and the 6th birthdays are big for us. For the others, 2nd, 3rd, and so on, we spend around $300-$600. Just invite the friends with other kids and such.

[deleted account]

The important thing is that is is FOR THE KID. Would I spend $10k on a fancy banquet and high-end catering? No, because my kid would just run around bored and not eat the food. In my opinion, what she had is a very poorly planned party. If she wants to spend $10k, I see no problem with it, but it looks like she spent all of it to impress her friends, and not to make the day special for her child. That is just selfish.



We do invite the whole family, close family friends, and of course the new "mommy friends" with kids the same age to the First Birthday, so I can see where she was coming from trying to please everyone. We rented a B&B, and we did have a magician, because, well, I like them. All in all, I think we MAYBE spent around $4k including the cake, catering, B&B, decor, magician, and favors.



Now, in my family, the 6th birthday is pretty big and we are going to spend a good bit more. We are going to Disney World and taking our parents and a couple of his friends. We blocked off a part of the hotel, so we would all be together, and we have a private Character dinner with a birthday cake. This one is going to cost a lot, around $10k, but we have been very, very thrifty with his other birthdays and he will likely not have anymore big ones, so why not splurge? But if your going to splurge, splurge on making it great for the child, not impressing your friends.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 10/03/2010

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I watched her stress over this party as if it was a wedding (the look on her face was pure pressure/ stress, and she was 7mos prego)…I asked her why did she keep inviting people and letting people bring extra guest, she said one its more presents, and two she cant say no….
And then got kind of upset that people expect her to throw upscale, huge parties…(she’s 36, im 26 so I didn’t feel that I should tell her what or how she should do things…when I really wanted to)
(Her baby shower was on a 3hr yacht ride, catered and home cooked food, close to 100 guess and an open bar)

C. - posted on 10/03/2010

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I think going all out for a first birthday is not the smartest thing, honestly. They're not going to remember it, for one. And another, it's just for the parents to see who can have the most extravagant birthday party for their kids. Let's see who can keep up as the years go by.. The parents that go all out for birthdays that won't be remembered, or the ones that only go all out for the ones that their children want to remember most (like a sweet 16 or a Quinceanera.) It's completely pointless, IMO.

Catherine - posted on 10/03/2010

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My son is turning 1 on Tuesday, and we're really not doing much. My family came out this weekend, and we did presents and cake, and on Tuesday we're having a few people over to sing and eat cupcakes. Honestly, I don't believe in big parties when they're too young to remember, plus my son hates big groups of people, so it would be torture for him.

That being said, it is cultural, and to each their own. However, I do not think you should go into debt or spend out your savings on a party. If you can afford it, then go for it if you want to, but it's not worth going into debt over.

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My daughters first birthday we went to see Alvin and the chipmunks the squeakquel and came out to loads of snow..which is amazing as Ireland doesnt get a lot of snow.We had the best fun on the way home but a little scary as we were driving.No one made it to her party as the were afraid to drive.It was just my two girls, there dad and me.We did the cake and for the next 5 days had the best crack in the snow..looking back on the picture's we took, my children had a ball as we did.If the lady had of gone smaller and less expensive that day would of been enjoyed the same.Children dont see the cost of things.Its her choice if she has the money thats cool.

Becky - posted on 10/02/2010

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Wow! The only party for my children that I will ever shell out $10,000.00 for will be their weddings! A birthday party, no way! That is way over the top! Like someone else said, even if I had that kind of money to throw around, for a first birthday party, that is just ridiculous and a waste of money. The baby is not going to remember it and probably is not going to enjoy it!
For Zach's first birthday last month, we did have about 30 people here - mostly family, one family who were just friends with kids the same age as our boys. We bbq'ed, had cake, and presents, and that was it. The only thing I over did was the cake. I made enough cake that I could pull it out and serve it again for Cole's birthday and still have leftovers! lol!
My kids will never get a $400.00 cake! I insist on making their cakes, and if they decide that is no longer cool, well then, they can have a DQ ice-cream cake! I do like to kind of make a big deal of their birthdays, but that is just beyond ridiculous!

Joanna - posted on 10/02/2010

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Geeze, the most my parents did as far as "going all out" for a birthday was renting a room at the Comfort Inn so we could use their pool, haha. And that was so awesome at the time, it was all we needed and seemed like a big deal.

So this just boggles my mind. Here in southern California it seems every birthday has to be bigger and better than the last, with bigger bouncehouses (I saw a pirate ship bouncehouse in our local park today, with a bunch of maybe 2-3 year olds), renting puppies (which I kind of want to do for my next birthday, haha), actually buying he kid a pony, etc etc. It's too much for me. I like quality time with the family when they're this young. Family time is priceless. My daughter had a great 3rd birthday a couple weeks ago, and all we did was get a pizza and had cupcakes and presents and played in the sandbox with her grandparents and great grandma.

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My jaw is just dropping by the description!
All 5 of my son's parties have been in the home/backyard.
It was not until his 3rd b-day that we actually had a "real" party with friends, games, and the first year we rented the bouncer.
Back in Feb. I did go overboard for his party, closer to $500. But I can also say that we could afford that amount and nothing was out on a credit card. I won't be spending that much for his next birthday, but we're still getting the bouncer. It's worth every cent!

Charlie - posted on 10/02/2010

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My childs first birthday is on the same day as his daddies 30 th birthday .

We spent a couple of hundred on food and presents , Harry will have a nice little BBQ too .

We will have a huge bash on their 16 , 18 and 21st birthdays because i love parties but i could never spend thousands on a party .

Rosie - posted on 10/02/2010

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i don't do it. first of all i'm cheap, lol! secondly, i don't see the point. what 1 year old remembers their first birthday party?? so for my child's 16th or 18th, i can see doing more than what we normally do (which is inviting a few family and 1 or 2 friends), but i still won't be spending to much.

my children always feel special, and that's all that matters to me!

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